I agree, I've always been one to take what I want and not be afraid to go after it. I don't think it's fair for women to constantly expect a man to "win them over". The world is taking a new turn and that's one of the many gender roles that need to be demolished
In my life, Girls asked me out in eyes only. Now, a guy can easily be labelled as perv, no? We also fear of rejection. Where is gender equality now? If girls start to ask guys, they won't end up with jerks that much, I bet.
Well yeah. if you want something you should go get it.
But I think for women, the safest path is to be very flirty and gauge what kind of reaction you're getting. If he reciprocates, then I think it's safe to ask him to "hang out" with you, if you really do like him a lot.
As some guys on here said, women do find it very hot if a man sees a woman he likes, and displays his confidence by going after her. I really hate it when a guy just gives me his number and blindly hopes that I decide he's worthy enough to text. I mean really? I find it so emasculating if a guy does that.
If I can chase a man and get him to change his feelings about me (from not liking me to liking me), then that's a victory for me. But if I know he likes me but he does nothing about it, it's a complete turnoff...
What is to be done with the guys who are like me that have zero radar for flirtation and hints? You may think I'm ignoring you, in reality, I'm likely not aware you've expressed any interest at all.
I prefer traditional men. The ones who do the courting. Write love letters, send flowers, cuddle me, surprise me, etc (I do things to make him happy too) It makes me feel like woman and I find traditional very romantic.
Don't get me wrong, I'm financially independent and I treat him well, but I expect the same in return.
I'm not going to give give give and get nothing back.
I think Gender roles in a relationship is important to me. As for chores, who ever doesn't work does the chores, if they both work--they split the responsibility or pay someone.
To each their own though. There is a lid for every pot.
I'm just pointing out that their isn't a lid for every pot. The more 'independent and successful' a woman becomes, the smaller the acceptable mate pool becomes (assuming hetero).
The reason is very simple, women are driven to mate up. And for that reason alone the pool gets smaller, throw in the reality that many of the most successful men aren't interested in a 'successful, independent woman' and that pool shrinks even further.
I really don't care if you see it that way or not, you'll likely experience it however, and that's good enough for me.
"Write love letter and send flowers..." Those "traditional men" are brought to you by writers of books and screenplays. The lion's share of men who bring flowers do it primarily on Valentine's. It's a very small number who bring flowers.
lmfao what? You want the same things in return yet peg ALL the responsibility onto him when it comes to initiating! Is there even a lid for this level of hypocrisy, wishful thinking, and lack of self-awareness?
I'm pretty sure that I have initiated like 90% of my male interactions and dates. And I've been asked out without any persuasion once, maybe. I've given ny number out probably 5 times and have never been asked for it. I'm still insanely single. So hold on, what's the issue?
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myTake Owner
+1 y
All of that may be true for you but that doesn't mean that it's an accurate representation of things. I've already had a few women tell me that this myTake inspired them enough that they're going to ask out the men they like. So even if this doesn't apply to you, it is helping some people and giving them new perspective.
Honestly, it has nothing to do with "desperation". Most guys don't really give a single damn about how "desperate" you might seem by being direct and truthful. Only girls care about that.
I just asked a question like that and have been for a long time. You just changed my viewpoint on life. I will ask my crush out this week. Thank you soo much
After reading this take & people's comments, it all seems to boil down to both men & women are just as nervous and scared of rejection from the opposite sex. I guess both Sexes are similar in some ways after all lol. :)
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myTake Owner
+1 y
True true true that's why it should be a team effort
A lot of women especially in the US want it both ways. They want equality, but if old fashioned status roles are to their BENEFIT, they cling to them like a kid to his favorite blanket. Anything difficult or stressful, hey that's 'men's work.'
this is true. i read yesterday women make a bit more than men until their 40s. the whole design of men paying and chilvery was form a time when men worked and women stayed at home. even if she did work, she didn't make anywhere close to what a man made.
times have changed and while a women is going on a few first dates during a month, she doesn't pay a dime! while a man going on his first few dates on that month is paying for all the dates! and when a modern men gets into self preserving mode adapting to these changes, he's shamed or humiliated! no wonder more men dont want marriage or relationships and just use women for sex.
its these double standards and unrealistic expectations that often turn men into these types women complain about.
he spends a couple hundred a month on dates while she saves her cash making the same amount. these traditional gender roles in todays times are encouraging women to take advantage of men and men to avoid certain situations.
Let me tell you something, Sir. I have done my fair share of asking out. WHenever I do, the boys turn their noses up at me and think they are so darn awesome.
I dont mean to sound bitter, but I have come to understand that boys like to do the chasing and that they what to be ones that ask the girls out. Because whenever Ido, I get rejected like crazy or they go out with me only to dump me. SO... I am at a loss for ideas.
thats me. what did i say you asshole? what did i say i was against? you hating but this lady confirms it. like 99 percent of the men and women here are super inexperienced y'all should pay me for sharing my opinions based on my life experiences which are pretty true. such basic people
"Whenever I do, the boys turn their noses up at me and think they are so darn awesome." Did you ever stop to think that women might act the same exact way when men ask them out? It is hard doing the approaching for both genders.
Honey, you faced exactly the same thing men face on a regular basis. The only difference is that you gave up while men don't.
That's how rejection works. Nobody is obligated to like you and to be honest, the holier than thou attitude is very common amongst women who get asked out.
What actually happened is that you cannot handle your ego getting crushed by
What i'm having a difficult time understanding is why are guys not asking these women out if they like them? If men are pretty much expected to ask women out and they like a girl, wouldn't they just ask her out? If I was one of those women like in your examples who had a crush on someone and wanted to know how to "get him to ask me out" etc. I would just assume he didn't like me and I would lose interest honestly, i'm just having a difficult time understanding how these women are in these situations lol
@ both Starfishlover & Masked Sanity... I salute both of you for taking the initiative & I'm extremely surprised at harsh rejections from guys...20 something ladies are in high demand from guys & most guys would be flattered & pleasantly surprised at being approached as this is a very rare occurrence. Have seen countless brutal rejections of guys from girls whilst working as door staff , some girls turn it into a competition to reject guys as viciously as possible... now that is just fucked up , but all too common , hence the majority of guys will not cold approach.
@GirlsLie, Men don't always ask out women they like for numerous reasons, ranging from fear of rejection, potential for awkwardness, pure shyness, etc. It's not a very easy thing to do.
@Starfishlover MaskedSanity has it right, women aren't always so nice at turning down men either. What you experienced was not really atypical for asking someone out. First time I asked a girl out, I got laughed at, and her friends came over and found out why she was laughing and they laughed too. She obviously thought she was so darn awesome too.
@starfishlover I saw your comment about having lots of rejections last night and it stuck in my head. It moves away from topic of take but my primary emotion is I felt sorry for these guys. I feel they have missed the chance to meet a young woman who is very beautiful on the outside but as you get to know her you realise she is gorgeous on the inside. She is strong, independent, forthright but also has a soft and vulnerable side - A warrior princess with big warm heart. She is very intelligent, often hilarious but can be insightful as well - Never fails to engage me when we have conversation - My thoughts to the young men of Australia, guys your loss, you would kick yourself if you realised what you missed in not trying to get to know this wonderful young woman.
Because rejection is a lot harder. The mentality is boys will just accept any girl and when a guy rejects you, you start thinking wtf is wrong with you. Guys face rejection all the time so it is accepted, they just move on and ask the other girl out. It also makes me feel easy. Like running after guys and guys rejecting me like a boy-crazy girl who nobody wants. I have asked a guy and got rejected so don't generalize.
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myTake Owner
+1 y
Guys are more likely to say yes but that doesn't mean there are guarantees. We have standards and preferences too. You're not gonna meet every guys standards even if you're a supermodel.
The fact that guys face rejection more is part of my point. Most of us can't just dust off and ask put another girl. It hurts us too you just don't see it. If we were really capable of just brushing it off like nothing, women would get asked out much more often and this wouldn't even be an issue. Guys in general don't ask many women out specifically because of how difficult it is to be rejected.
I am not asking for a guarantees. Do I have a problem with asking men out once in a while? Absolutely not. Women asking men out has advantages to both sides. However, if you want more women to take initiative you have to break the taboo. Asking a guy is seen as a desperate thing to do by an easy girl. If I go around asking a lot of men they are going to think I am boy crazy because currently people like players ask a lot of women out but still desirable although if women do that she's a slut. Its again the stud/ slut thing. It has nothing to do with responsibility and everything with mentality.
Oh come on, guys get shitted on for being desperate all the time! Ever heard the terms "creepy" or "thirsty" etc? I even see it applied to guys simply for being politely awkward or a bit more sexually expressive than the norm.
I agree, I know for myself, that I am afraid to ask guys out. The few times I have asked guys out they've turned me down. I usually try to show the guy I like that I'm interested in him by being flirty and see if he's interested as well.
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myTake Owner
+1 y
Men get turned down too most of the time, nothing to be embarrassed about.
I agree. I'm thinking about asking this guy out, but I'm not really sure what to say. If a girl asked you out what kind of things could she say that would interest you?
Guys aren't as picky about the wording I guess so much as we are your appearance and attitude, just look nice and try your best to be relaxed and invite him to dinner or to a movie, or if you want to do something else just ask if he wants to go out on a date with you.
It's because of people like @I_M_LEGEND and the experiences that @Starfishlover has had that a lot of girls just don't want to approach guys because they realize one of these two things will happen more often than not. I'm sorry to break it to you, but if everyone had a bull**** meter, we'd all be in happy relationships. Since we don't - we ask out idiots hence making this entire process more difficult and painful for any next person that comes along.
I hate gender roles and don't think either sex should be obligated to ask the other out. I've asked guys out before and I'm extremely shy. I almost had a heart attack.
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myTake Owner
+1 y
Lol I know, it's EXACTLY as intimidating for us too, believe me. I guess it probably makes you appreciate how difficult it is, right?
I know the reason I would never ask I guy out is because I'm so afraid of being rejected. I don't have the confidence to do something like that and use the gender role as an excuse not to. If a guy were to approach me, it would give me some confidence in myself. Maybe enough to continue the interaction. That's just how I feel personally. I'm sure there's people of both genders that feel the same.
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myTake Owner
+1 y
There definitely are, you're definitely lucky that you're a woman in this case because you'd get nowhere being a guy like that.
I don't get very far being a woman either. I know you say we should also take the initiative. But for me it's almost impossible due to my insecurities. Maybe if I was a guy I'd change how I feel. But I doubt it. Some people just aren't going to be able to approach others due to anxiety. I'm sorry it seems worse for men who have this problem.
Well it doesn't seem worse, it is worse. In most cases, the guy is expected to initiate. If the guy cannot due to anxiety or insecurity, then he will get less dates that a woman with the same anxiety and insecurity because he is less likely to be approached and coaxed out of his shell than the woman.
I can understand your anxiety and I'm not blaming you, if you can't then you can't.
I know because sometimes they don't get the hints and waiting doesn't give you control over who approaches you. If a woman does not feel comfortable asking a guy out then she should understand the pressure men feel regardless if she is traditional or not.
Most of the time when I find out a girl likes me I can see the hints she gave in hindsight but at the time it's way too easy to dismiss most signs as a girl being friendly. The few times I've been unsure and acted on it anyways didn't end so well so if you're unwilling to ask a guy out for whatever reason but want to date him you had better make sure the 'obvious' signs of interest you are giving out are actually obvious. Because I usually won't ask a girl out unless I'm fairly sure.
I'd happily show you the door if I knew where it was.
@LilWeezey is right, there are no rules. That is a good thing. People may do a they choose, so long as it does not harm others. So sad that you don't get to control them
Acting like there rules are or that there should be rules just identifies you as an ass.
I never said there is anything wrong in itself with a woman asking a man out. That's your own prejudice manifesting, you old dumbass. Ruth not only asked Boaz out in Bible, but told him he had a duty to marry her.
But a pathetic, bitter and confused man who demands that women start taking their "responsibility" to ask men out just to cover for his own insecurity and fear of rejection is the purest disemulation.
My own insecurity and fear of rejection? That's funny because I was planning on asking a girl out today, and only didn't do it because I got interrupted.
Im not gonna ask a guy out. Nope not gonna do it. guys ask out the women they wanna ask out. so as a woman, if your not getting attention from guys and getting asked out, then obviously the guys around you don't wanna date you. so whats sense would it make for an unwanted woman to throw herself at men who aren't really into her? it might make it easier for guys to get easy pussy but it sure won't be helpful to a woman who isn't looking to be used for a placeholder until a guy gets the girl he really wants.
It would actually make very good sense for you, because it would mean that you did the choosing. If you make the move, you can start with the most attractive person in your vicinity, and work your way down the list. If you sit around and wait, you're left with the best person that asks you out. See? It's simple science, and you can check out this article, if you doubt it:
I think I've finally matured enough to stop blaming women for being passive in this area, because I recognize that you do what you feel you need to do, and I need to do the same myself. But all I'm saying is that you would probably get a better selection of guys if you made the move.
"guys ask out the women they wanna ask out." That isn't true at all and if you really believe that then you're clueless. Most guys only ever ask out a fraction of the girls they're interested in, and if they're shy it'll be an even smaller fraction. " if your not getting attention from guys and getting asked out, then obviously the guys around you don't wanna date you" my response to this is pretty much the same as my first response.
Personally, I think that it's advantageous for a girl to ask a guy out for multiple reasons and I thank @muspelhem_ for providing me with some statistics to back up at least one of them.
"if your not getting attention from guys and getting asked out, then obviously the guys around you don't wanna date you"
I could say the same thing: "If you're not getting attention from girls and getting asked out, then obviously the girls around you don't wanna date you."
Although I totally understand your point of view, and I too have never asked a guy out, a guy won't get pussy easily from a girl if she actually holds out for sex and sees his true intentions. Usually actions speak louder than words. Usually there are red flags that let a girl know he's not a suitable match
Women already do ask guys out. They just dont often ask average guys out when they're young because they get asked out so much they can choose between those guys.
But go ask star high school athletes how often they're being hit on.
I disagree entirely on the fact dating hasn't changed. I know many girls who have asked guys out. I also know many women who pay for the date. Who DO they ask out? Usually wealthy men of course. But even girls don't like being asked out by guys who aren't rich snobs.
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myTake Owner
+1 y
Why are they paying for dates if they're dating rich snobs?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
57Opinion
I agree, I've always been one to take what I want and not be afraid to go after it. I don't think it's fair for women to constantly expect a man to "win them over". The world is taking a new turn and that's one of the many gender roles that need to be demolished
3.bp.blogspot.com/.../the-rock-clapping.gif
In my life, Girls asked me out in eyes only. Now, a guy can easily be labelled as perv, no?
We also fear of rejection.
Where is gender equality now?
If girls start to ask guys, they won't end up with jerks that much, I bet.
Even the name of the site is: GIRLS ASK GUYS!
The only girls I've ever dated asked me out. I wish more girls would do it. It's fun!
Not to mention adorable
true true
I've had it happen but it's so rare.
Well yeah. if you want something you should go get it.
But I think for women, the safest path is to be very flirty and gauge what kind of reaction you're getting. If he reciprocates, then I think it's safe to ask him to "hang out" with you, if you really do like him a lot.
As some guys on here said, women do find it very hot if a man sees a woman he likes, and displays his confidence by going after her.
I really hate it when a guy just gives me his number and blindly hopes that I decide he's worthy enough to text. I mean really? I find it so emasculating if a guy does that.
If I can chase a man and get him to change his feelings about me (from not liking me to liking me), then that's a victory for me. But if I know he likes me but he does nothing about it, it's a complete turnoff...
How is being flirty and indirect any "safer" than just coming out and professing your actual desires?
What is to be done with the guys who are like me that have zero radar for flirtation and hints? You may think I'm ignoring you, in reality, I'm likely not aware you've expressed any interest at all.
I prefer traditional men. The ones who do the courting. Write love letters, send flowers, cuddle me, surprise me, etc (I do things to make him happy too) It makes me feel like woman and I find traditional very romantic.
Don't get me wrong, I'm financially independent and I treat him well, but I expect the same in return.
I'm not going to give give give and get nothing back.
I think Gender roles in a relationship is important to me. As for chores, who ever doesn't work does the chores, if they both work--they split the responsibility or pay someone.
To each their own though. There is a lid for every pot.
Especially for you. Enjoy :)
www.theatlantic.com/.../
@ArtDent - lol, articles that are based on someone's opinion and written with an angle isn't going to change my opinion.
If a guy chooses to spend $90 on a video game, but not $90 to have a romantic night with a girl than his priorities are fuvked up
I'm just pointing out that their isn't a lid for every pot. The more 'independent and successful' a woman becomes, the smaller the acceptable mate pool becomes (assuming hetero).
The reason is very simple, women are driven to mate up. And for that reason alone the pool gets smaller, throw in the reality that many of the most successful men aren't interested in a 'successful, independent woman' and that pool shrinks even further.
I really don't care if you see it that way or not, you'll likely experience it however, and that's good enough for me.
Cheers! :)
@ArtDent I don't believe that at all. I think today's man needs to man up.
Oh I know that you think that.
"Write love letter and send flowers..." Those "traditional men" are brought to you by writers of books and screenplays. The lion's share of men who bring flowers do it primarily on Valentine's. It's a very small number who bring flowers.
lmfao what? You want the same things in return yet peg ALL the responsibility onto him when it comes to initiating! Is there even a lid for this level of hypocrisy, wishful thinking, and lack of self-awareness?
Well the problem is todays men give give give and get nothing back so...
I'm pretty sure that I have initiated like 90% of my male interactions and dates. And I've been asked out without any persuasion once, maybe. I've given ny number out probably 5 times and have never been asked for it. I'm still insanely single. So hold on, what's the issue?
All of that may be true for you but that doesn't mean that it's an accurate representation of things. I've already had a few women tell me that this myTake inspired them enough that they're going to ask out the men they like. So even if this doesn't apply to you, it is helping some people and giving them new perspective.
You're coming off as desperate
This is over a span of like 5 years.
Honestly, it has nothing to do with "desperation". Most guys don't really give a single damn about how "desperate" you might seem by being direct and truthful. Only girls care about that.
I agree it probably isn't desperation, women tend to over-estimate how much men view showing interest as desperation.
I just asked a question like that and have been for a long time. You just changed my viewpoint on life. I will ask my crush out this week. Thank you soo much
Glad to help.
After reading this take & people's comments, it all seems to boil down to both men & women are just as nervous and scared of rejection from the opposite sex. I guess both Sexes are similar in some ways after all lol. :)
True true true that's why it should be a team effort
Yeah i can see what ur saying. :)
Seems we punish each other too much :(
A lot of women especially in the US want it both ways. They want equality, but if old fashioned status roles are to their BENEFIT, they cling to them like a kid to his favorite blanket. Anything difficult or stressful, hey that's 'men's work.'
it's called "I want what benefits me, and i need a good excuse"
this is true. i read yesterday women make a bit more than men until their 40s. the whole design of men paying and chilvery was form a time when men worked and women stayed at home. even if she did work, she didn't make anywhere close to what a man made.
times have changed and while a women is going on a few first dates during a month, she doesn't pay a dime! while a man going on his first few dates on that month is paying for all the dates! and when a modern men gets into self preserving mode adapting to these changes, he's shamed or humiliated! no wonder more men dont want marriage or relationships and just use women for sex.
its these double standards and unrealistic expectations that often turn men into these types women complain about.
he spends a couple hundred a month on dates while she saves her cash making the same amount. these traditional gender roles in todays times are encouraging women to take advantage of men and men to avoid certain situations.
@dartmaul15
it's called having their cake and eating it too
And that's why you don't marry an American woman. And they might take at least half of your assets.
Let me tell you something, Sir. I have done my fair share of asking out. WHenever I do, the boys turn their noses up at me and think they are so darn awesome.
I'm sorry you asked out assholes?
I dont mean to sound bitter, but I have come to understand that boys like to do the chasing and that they what to be ones that ask the girls out. Because whenever Ido, I get rejected like crazy or they go out with me only to dump me. SO... I am at a loss for ideas.
thats me. what did i say you asshole? what did i say i was against? you hating but this lady confirms it. like 99 percent of the men and women here are super inexperienced y'all should pay me for sharing my opinions based on my life experiences which are pretty true. such basic people
@Asker
What now?
"Whenever I do, the boys turn their noses up at me and think they are so darn awesome." Did you ever stop to think that women might act the same exact way when men ask them out? It is hard doing the approaching for both genders.
And you think men get every woman they ask?
Honey, you faced exactly the same thing men face on a regular basis. The only difference is that you gave up while men don't.
That's how rejection works. Nobody is obligated to like you and to be honest, the holier than thou attitude is very common amongst women who get asked out.
What actually happened is that you cannot handle your ego getting crushed by
numerous men, so you decided to just leave all the hard work to guys because it's both convenient for you and socially acceptable.
Get better game. You can't expect them just accept. Work for it.
"I'm sorry you asked out assholes?"
Made me laugh.
What i'm having a difficult time understanding is why are guys not asking these women out if they like them? If men are pretty much expected to ask women out and they like a girl, wouldn't they just ask her out? If I was one of those women like in your examples who had a crush on someone and wanted to know how to "get him to ask me out" etc. I would just assume he didn't like me and I would lose interest honestly, i'm just having a difficult time understanding how these women are in these situations lol
@ both Starfishlover & Masked Sanity... I salute both of you for taking the initiative & I'm extremely surprised at harsh rejections from guys...20 something ladies are in high demand from guys & most guys would be flattered & pleasantly surprised at being approached as this is a very rare occurrence. Have seen countless brutal rejections of guys from girls whilst working as door staff , some girls turn it into a competition to reject guys as viciously as possible... now that is just fucked up , but all too common , hence the majority of guys will not cold approach.
https://www.girlsaskguys.com/user/maskedsanity Thank you for commenting from a guys perspective too... great attitude !!
@GirlsLie, Men don't always ask out women they like for numerous reasons, ranging from fear of rejection, potential for awkwardness, pure shyness, etc. It's not a very easy thing to do.
@Starfishlover MaskedSanity has it right, women aren't always so nice at turning down men either. What you experienced was not really atypical for asking someone out. First time I asked a girl out, I got laughed at, and her friends came over and found out why she was laughing and they laughed too. She obviously thought she was so darn awesome too.
Welcome to equality. Cept you have a lot less chance of getting slapped or getting drenched in soda or beer.
How can someone reject you?
I have had a lot of rejections haha
@starfishlover I saw your comment about having lots of rejections last night and it stuck in my head. It moves away from topic of take but my primary emotion is I felt sorry for these guys. I feel they have missed the chance to meet a young woman who is very beautiful on the outside but as you get to know her you realise she is gorgeous on the inside. She is strong, independent, forthright but also has a soft and vulnerable side - A warrior princess with big warm heart. She is very intelligent, often hilarious but can be insightful as well - Never fails to engage me when we have conversation - My thoughts to the young men of Australia, guys your loss, you would kick yourself if you realised what you missed in not trying to get to know this wonderful young woman.
Because rejection is a lot harder. The mentality is boys will just accept any girl and when a guy rejects you, you start thinking wtf is wrong with you. Guys face rejection all the time so it is accepted, they just move on and ask the other girl out.
It also makes me feel easy. Like running after guys and guys rejecting me like a boy-crazy girl who nobody wants. I have asked a guy and got rejected so don't generalize.
Guys are more likely to say yes but that doesn't mean there are guarantees. We have standards and preferences too. You're not gonna meet every guys standards even if you're a supermodel.
The fact that guys face rejection more is part of my point. Most of us can't just dust off and ask put another girl. It hurts us too you just don't see it. If we were really capable of just brushing it off like nothing, women would get asked out much more often and this wouldn't even be an issue. Guys in general don't ask many women out specifically because of how difficult it is to be rejected.
I am not asking for a guarantees. Do I have a problem with asking men out once in a while? Absolutely not. Women asking men out has advantages to both sides. However, if you want more women to take initiative you have to break the taboo. Asking a guy is seen as a desperate thing to do by an easy girl. If I go around asking a lot of men they are going to think I am boy crazy because currently people like players ask a lot of women out but still desirable although if women do that she's a slut. Its again the stud/ slut thing. It has nothing to do with responsibility and everything with mentality.
Oh come on, guys get shitted on for being desperate all the time! Ever heard the terms "creepy" or "thirsty" etc? I even see it applied to guys simply for being politely awkward or a bit more sexually expressive than the norm.
So you feel that way but for us it's ok? Even though the number of men who commit suicide is double that of womans?
I agree, I know for myself, that I am afraid to ask guys out. The few times I have asked guys out they've turned me down. I usually try to show the guy I like that I'm interested in him by being flirty and see if he's interested as well.
Men get turned down too most of the time, nothing to be embarrassed about.
It just breaks a person's confidence
That's true, and part of the reason asking out shouldn't be so one sided.
I agree. I'm thinking about asking this guy out, but I'm not really sure what to say. If a girl asked you out what kind of things could she say that would interest you?
Guys aren't as picky about the wording I guess so much as we are your appearance and attitude, just look nice and try your best to be relaxed and invite him to dinner or to a movie, or if you want to do something else just ask if he wants to go out on a date with you.
When we're actually equal...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4l0zvcDixoHhahaha She's got the right idea. =)
I ask guys out sometimes... so this take isn't really hitting home for me.
It's because of people like @I_M_LEGEND and the experiences that @Starfishlover has had that a lot of girls just don't want to approach guys because they realize one of these two things will happen more often than not.
I'm sorry to break it to you, but if everyone had a bull**** meter, we'd all be in happy relationships.
Since we don't - we ask out idiots hence making this entire process more difficult and painful for any next person that comes along.
This is true equality
https://youtu.be/F_PTxpIjGXE
@KENKONG Equality? That doesn't even qualify as a date.
Lmao that's not equality that's just role reversal.
Role reversal with someone whose really inconsiderate too.
The reality is that unmarried women are out earning unmarried men.
www.forbes.com/.../
I hate gender roles and don't think either sex should be obligated to ask the other out. I've asked guys out before and I'm extremely shy. I almost had a heart attack.
Lol I know, it's EXACTLY as intimidating for us too, believe me. I guess it probably makes you appreciate how difficult it is, right?
I know the reason I would never ask I guy out is because I'm so afraid of being rejected. I don't have the confidence to do something like that and use the gender role as an excuse not to. If a guy were to approach me, it would give me some confidence in myself. Maybe enough to continue the interaction. That's just how I feel personally. I'm sure there's people of both genders that feel the same.
There definitely are, you're definitely lucky that you're a woman in this case because you'd get nowhere being a guy like that.
I don't get very far being a woman either. I know you say we should also take the initiative. But for me it's almost impossible due to my insecurities. Maybe if I was a guy I'd change how I feel. But I doubt it. Some people just aren't going to be able to approach others due to anxiety. I'm sorry it seems worse for men who have this problem.
Well it doesn't seem worse, it is worse. In most cases, the guy is expected to initiate. If the guy cannot due to anxiety or insecurity, then he will get less dates that a woman with the same anxiety and insecurity because he is less likely to be approached and coaxed out of his shell than the woman.
I can understand your anxiety and I'm not blaming you, if you can't then you can't.
Yeah I can definitely see your point there
What about us, think we aren't afraid of the same thing? Some of the rejections I got.. wow..
I got laughed at the first time I asked out a girl.
I agree it's so stupid and girls ruin their own chances when they don't ever take chances.
I know! If you want to date someone, ask them out! Waiting around and hinting gets you nowhere most of the time.
I know because sometimes they don't get the hints and waiting doesn't give you control over who approaches you. If a woman does not feel comfortable asking a guy out then she should understand the pressure men feel regardless if she is traditional or not.
Most of the time when I find out a girl likes me I can see the hints she gave in hindsight but at the time it's way too easy to dismiss most signs as a girl being friendly. The few times I've been unsure and acted on it anyways didn't end so well so if you're unwilling to ask a guy out for whatever reason but want to date him you had better make sure the 'obvious' signs of interest you are giving out are actually obvious. Because I usually won't ask a girl out unless I'm fairly sure.
It's official. I'm living in the gayest era ever known to mankind.
https://youtu.be/egpBnrzwNr4The deal is off! I want out! I never signed this contract. I never agreed to any of these rules.
Jokes on you there are no rules.
This man is right. If you want something. If you want to be something. Do it.
Your gender should not determine your actions.
No, joke's on you. If you never get asked out, you're doing it wrong.
I'd happily show you the door if I knew where it was.
@LilWeezey is right, there are no rules.
That is a good thing.
People may do a they choose, so long as it does not harm others.
So sad that you don't get to control them
Acting like there rules are or that there should be rules just identifies you as an ass.
I never said there is anything wrong in itself with a woman asking a man out. That's your own prejudice manifesting, you old dumbass. Ruth not only asked Boaz out in Bible, but told him he had a duty to marry her.
But a pathetic, bitter and confused man who demands that women start taking their "responsibility" to ask men out just to cover for his own insecurity and fear of rejection is the purest disemulation.
My own insecurity and fear of rejection? That's funny because I was planning on asking a girl out today, and only didn't do it because I got interrupted.
OK, well, quit yappin about it and get to it already. I want you to call her right now and ask her out.
No more excuses, no more delays.
Just do it. Do it, chicken!
I don't have her phone number yet, I'm asking her out next week.
Chicken.
...
efunnyimages.com/.../funny-dog-chicken-fight.jpg
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If there nothing wrong with asking a man out, then you agree with the myTake.
Women should be encouraged to make their own success instead of waiting on the side for something to happen. Simple.
Im not gonna ask a guy out. Nope not gonna do it. guys ask out the women they wanna ask out. so as a woman, if your not getting attention from guys and getting asked out, then obviously the guys around you don't wanna date you. so whats sense would it make for an unwanted woman to throw herself at men who aren't really into her? it might make it easier for guys to get easy pussy but it sure won't be helpful to a woman who isn't looking to be used for a placeholder until a guy gets the girl he really wants.
It would actually make very good sense for you, because it would mean that you did the choosing. If you make the move, you can start with the most attractive person in your vicinity, and work your way down the list. If you sit around and wait, you're left with the best person that asks you out. See? It's simple science, and you can check out this article, if you doubt it:
https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-31168242
I think I've finally matured enough to stop blaming women for being passive in this area, because I recognize that you do what you feel you need to do, and I need to do the same myself. But all I'm saying is that you would probably get a better selection of guys if you made the move.
"guys ask out the women they wanna ask out." That isn't true at all and if you really believe that then you're clueless. Most guys only ever ask out a fraction of the girls they're interested in, and if they're shy it'll be an even smaller fraction. " if your not getting attention from guys and getting asked out, then obviously the guys around you don't wanna date you" my response to this is pretty much the same as my first response.
Personally, I think that it's advantageous for a girl to ask a guy out for multiple reasons and I thank @muspelhem_ for providing me with some statistics to back up at least one of them.
@muspelhem_5
"if your not getting attention from guys and getting asked out, then obviously the guys around you don't wanna date you"
I could say the same thing: "If you're not getting attention from girls and getting asked out, then obviously the girls around you don't wanna date you."
Although I totally understand your point of view, and I too have never asked a guy out, a guy won't get pussy easily from a girl if she actually holds out for sex and sees his true intentions. Usually actions speak louder than words. Usually there are red flags that let a girl know he's not a suitable match
Manyguys have been hurt, many are just shy.. just like you girls...
Hows it easy pussy? She still decides when shegives pussy...
Women already do ask guys out. They just dont often ask average guys out when they're young because they get asked out so much they can choose between those guys.
But go ask star high school athletes how often they're being hit on.
Being hit on and being asked out are different.
Tbh those guys get sex thrown at them under the (correct) assumption it's more likely to be accepted by males.
I disagree entirely on the fact dating hasn't changed. I know many girls who have asked guys out. I also know many women who pay for the date. Who DO they ask out? Usually wealthy men of course. But even girls don't like being asked out by guys who aren't rich snobs.
Why are they paying for dates if they're dating rich snobs?
Hahahaha good question... xD
@Takeowner I'd imagine the ones who are true gold-diggers just let guys spoil them. I just meant I have come across girls who pay for dates.