Is it true that a guy can be interested in multiple girls at once, get to know all of them and narrow down his options of who he would like to date?

[Anonymous]

Can a guy like several girls at once? And then come to like one of them more than the others, after spending some time with all of them individually over a period of time?

Updates

+1 y

Well this is the only question I've ever asked where the answer is a unanimous and resounding "yes".

[Theguyoverthere]

This would be optimal actually because when a guy fixates on one girl he'll talk to her as if she is his "only" chance at love and choke up a lot. But when he has options, he'll more than likely be his more comfortable self since her leaving him would just mean he goes to the next girl.

[Asker]

Hmm cool, so maybe it's actually beneficial for me because I get to see his real self.

[Theguyoverthere]

It could be, but it could also mean he ends up liking the other girl.

[Asker]

No duh, that's only my main concern

[rjroy3]

Yep. I've done it several times.
It's called "Dating". When you narrow it down to that one, you ask if she wants to be your girlfriend="agreed to date exclusively".

[rjroy3]

This is what (in my opinion), everyone should do. Just be upfront and honest to everyone about what your intentions are and what you're doing so no one feels slighted.

[Asker]

Ok thanks :)
I'm new to the whole dating scene so sorry if I sound ignorant!

[rjroy3]

It's ok : ), a lot of girls have issues with this. An ex girlfriend before we got together, she still hadn't told me about the other guys she was dating. Even after we had been together 6 months, she FINALLY said she was seeing someone else lol. I didn't care, but it's dishonest to not let them know.

[Asker]

He asked out the other girls and I was the one who asked him out... Does that make a difference? He told me he was seeing the other girls after 2 weeks of dating.

[rjroy3]

Well that was cool of him : ).
But yes, it means you like him and he finds you attractive too.

[Asker]

A guy wouldn't say yes to a girl in the hopes he would become attracted - only if he was attracted?

[rjroy3]

Correct. He wouldn't be back if he wasn't attracted to you. He would of found a way to say no.
Just make sure you're not just hooking up and actually go out and have fun so he can see how awesome you are.

[rjroy3]

And feel free to date other guys. It will be better for you if you do

[Asker]

Ok thanks :)
We're definitely not hooking up, he won't be physical with any girl until he is exclusively dating her.

[rjroy3]

Good luck : )

[Asker]

Thanks heaps :)

[Kittykatt220214]

That's what most people call casual dating. Nothing wrong with it as long as all parties included know it's casual, and are informed once it's not. That's what I do, now that I'm older and can be mature about things. It's more simple that way to me anyways.

[Asker]

Yeah he's being very open and honest about it. Thanks :)

[Azara]

anyone can do that. i think most people would without it being on purpose, except for the fact its usually rare enough finding one person you like.. let alone several.

[Azara]

no different then having a lot of guy friends and over time realizing you really like one in particular.

[Asker]

Ok thanks :)
It's very rare for me to be attracted to a person, which is why it seems strange to me.

[Azara]

yeah i totally get that. very rare or me too.

i think too for me if i really like one guy i feel a certain loyalty to see it through. before moving on.

however if i met three diff guys at around the same time and was friendly terms with all and i wanted to date or be in a relationship.. i really dont see how else id make a decision but to get to know each.

my guess is people who chronically interest in mashy at once just aren't looking for anything deep. the less concerned you are about quality the more people you'll be attracted to. :)

[Asker]

The guy I'm seeing met me and a couple other girls around the same time, so I guess that makes sense. He already said he's not going to pursue two of them because they're shallow, even though they're pretty.

[Azara]

not an uncommon combination for either sex lol

[Anonymous]

Yes, it is totally possible. A lot of guys aren't that good with women though. But if there's a guy a lot of women like--he's almost certainly doing it.

There are alternative arrangements too. I like open relationships. I don't compare girls and whittle down to one; why should I have to divide my affection? I let them know about each other, although I don't introduce them or anything like that (I do this upfront--no reason to be dishonest or get anyone hurt). And of course, they're more than free to see other guys too.

[Asker]

Ok thanks :)
Yeah, the guy I am seeing told me upfront that he is seeing other girls too. He has also told me about a few of them that he has let go in the few weeks we've been seeing each other, but he is still seeing me and one other girl.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, best advice is have fun, but don't get too attached too quickly. And make sure you're still seeing other guys, unless you two decide on exclusivity. Honestly, I think seeing multiple people is just healthy for both men and women, it keeps you from getting rose-tinted glasses.

[Asker]

Good advice. I wish I was interested in someone else...

[Opinion Owner]

Haha.

So, to clarify, that means you aren't interested in the guy much, or that you would like to be seeing more than one guy?

If you want to see more than one guy, just make sure you are putting yourself in position to meet more guys and go on more dates (doesn't matter if you know them already or not). You'll find someone else you like too.

I make a point of asking out strangers--in fact, I do that exclusively now. So if you are only trying to date people you know, you should definitely try dating complete strangers. You'll meet a greater variety of people, and you'll have many more options (think about it--how many people do you know versus how many strangers are there?)

[Asker]

The problem is that I'm hung up on him so much that it hurts me that he is seeing other girls.

[Avora]

Yeah, I dont know why I do it, I just do :( I haven't recently to be honest ^.^ But I can't help it if I do, I dont realise until it is pointed out to me.

[Asker]

Ok thanks :)

[Avora]

No problem :)

[rjroy3]

If you tell the girls beforehand, then you are being honest. You'd be surprised how many girls will still date you knowing you're seeing other people. You just have to risk her saying no and she is also free to date other people. If you hide what you're doing, then you're a player/liar. If you're upfront about it you're just confidently dating without having to hide : )

[Asker]

Thanks for clarifying that, rjroy :)
That makes me feel much better

[dartmaul15]

Yeah we can, and it's called making a rational decision based on observation. You can't really blame us for it, can you?
We don't commit until we've picked the one...

[Asker]

It does make sense and it's fine, it's just not how it works for me - I tend to fall for one guy at a time, and fall hard. So I'm just struggling to grasp that the guy I like, likes other girls too...

[dartmaul15]

yeah, that's usually how it works too. Because love.
Though, if the oportunity presents itself, we might do just that. I'm sure you'd do too if you fell for two guys.

[Asker]

I'm sure I would :)

[dartmaul15]

exactly XD

[Asker]

He asked the other girls and I was the one who asked him out... Does that make a difference?

[nicko2552]

yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

[Asker]

Hahaha ok thanks

[Ihav2fart]

Sure, of course there are guys who can do that. There are even more guys who will date them all at the same time though.

[Asker]

Ok thanks :)

[FurtileSpermRelease]

Im think this is a know FACT for every guy that is dating multiple side chicks.

[Asker]

Ok thanks :)

[Anonymous]

That's what "dating" technically is, the problem is, they get written off as players, by jealous people

[Asker]

Ok thanks; it's just I've never dated before. I know he's not a player, he's really nice.

[Opinion Owner]

Be careful "nice" guys who say they're nice or whatever, might "just be saying it". If he's acting suspicious, he's probably cheating. Question is, what is suspicious behavior and that comes different with every guy. Basically, if he's doing things he wouldn't normally do, he's either with another girl, or, trying to surprise you. Men do that on occasion. We'll surprise you because we want to

[Opinion Owner]

Now, when you're "in a relationship" and you find out he's with another girl, that implies that he's CHEATING, which is different than being a player because dating implies, that you're not exactly exclusive. Question is, how do you know when you're exclusive. Even if he says it, his actions are what proves it. So, if you're then exclusive, and you catch him with another woman, then it's, like I said, cheating, not being a player. Don't even get me started on Marriage and divorce, lol

[Asker]

He doesn't say he's nice, I've known him for a year and observed that he is kind and considerate and compassionate to many people he comes in contact with and he has strong friendships. He told me upfront that he likes this other girl but he's willing to get to know me better (since I asked him out).

[Opinion Owner]

Right, he's "playing the field", he's a player

[Asker]

How can I know for sure?

[Asker]

PS he's not getting any sexual contact or money out of it or anything - just my time and conversation.

[Opinion Owner]

Well, you just said he's talking to another girl, while talking to you. He's being a player, playing the field, feeling you both out at the same time. Question is, is it moral. And that's for you to decide. Is it right or wrong to talk to more than one person of the opposite sex at the same time. Everyone is different in that category. Some people believe men and women can be "just friends", others don't

[Opinion Owner]

Personally, I wouldn't really say it's right OR wrong. It's situational, most things are. For example, the girl I like right now, which I know I probably really shouldn't, based on our lives, is doing something that while it may seem like it's a good deed, probably isn't very legal in the long run. To make extra money, she's going out on occasion with a guy who's 70, and going through a divorce (yeah, at the age of 70), he's lonely and they made a deal where if he pays her a large some of money, then she'll hang out with him on occasion. No, sex is not on the table, she would be a prostitute if it was, which is even more illegal. Anything that's not taxed, is illegal

[Opinion Owner]

So, I have to ask myself, is it worth liking this girl? She's helping a senior citizen feel good about himself, even though it's for money, but it's still a good deed, right? But is it MORAL

[Opinion Owner]

... and if it's not, do I continue to TALK to her

[Asker]

Thanks, you've given me a lot to consider :)

[Opinion Owner]

Basically it comes down to what you think is right, not what people online think

[Asker]

I know.
I was mainly wanting to know if it was possible for him to like me as well as these other girls.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh, you're saying, can you like two or more people at once. Probably not. If it's the same exact girl, in terms of personality, it would come down to who's hotter... he may just be fucking around with you girls, having fun, basically

[Asker]

Well, if that's the case, he doesn't like me because he certainly likes her - his eyes light up when he talks about her.

[Opinion Owner]

Well, our eyes only dilate, when we're around the person we like, no matter who we're talking about

[Asker]

Oh ok! That's good then because I was the only one there :)

[Opinion Owner]

Then again, remember, it could have just been a dark room. Peoples eyes dilate, in dark rooms

[Asker]

Haha no, we were in the park on a sunny day

[yellowmamba024]

I hope I get to do this one day. And no doubt a guy can be interested in multiple girls at once and choose one of those girls he is interested in.

[Asker]

Ok thanks :)

[Phoenix98]

I believe what you described is called process of elimanation.

[Asker]

Yes it is.

[AJElectric]

yeah, what wrong with that.

[Asker]

Thanks :)
There isn't anything wrong with it, I was just finding it hard to believe.

[ClauseViter]

That principal is essentially what men live by

[Asker]

Ok thanks

[jimjohn]

Totally. I do it all the time.

[Asker]

Ok thanks :)

[jimjohn]

I think you have to look at how he acts with you or around you vs. how he acts with others.

[Asker]

Good point.

[Anonymous]

Why not take advantage of something most guys don't get to do because of lack of looks and money?

[MrMuffinMan]

Have you ever watched the bachelor?

[Asker]

No I haven't

[Anonymous]

Girls do that too both genders do it

[Asker]

Ok thanks, I'm getting the impression that I'm just a weirdo because I don't do this

[Opinion Owner]

I don't do it either. I think of myself as loyal. Plus it's not nice to lead people on it's kind of fake in my opinion

[Asker]

Well see, that's what I'm trying to figure out: if this guy is leading me on or not.

[Opinion Owner]

Only time will tell. Unless you ask him to be exclusive then you will know straight away

[MysteriousFlower]

Yes, that isn't very decisive. Girls do it too.

[Asker]

Ok thanks

[SnowHearth]

Yes, and not only guys, but girls too.

[Asker]

Ok thanks.
It must be an individual thing that I don't do this, rather than a female thing.

[SnowHearth]

Yeah, each one has its own vantage points

[Jewishgem]

what is this the bachelor?

[koko124]

Yes. Very much so.