Does he only want to hookup?

I met a guy on a dating site that I am very attracted to. After a couple of dates he:
- Deleted dating profile.
- Wanted me to meet his friends.
- Never talked about sex or touched me inappropriately.
- Added me on FB.
- Stopped uploading suggestive photos with women. He used to have tons of those.
- Told me he does not sleep around.
- Had a relationship talk. Told me he becomes friends with a girl before moving onto a relationship and that the most important part of a relationship is trust. And that there would be no trouble commiting if you really like that person.
- I had a holiday. He was very afraid that I won't be back and asked me details if I would come back. Was relieved when I told him I will be coming back.
-Never takes out his phone unless to show me something.
-Never looks at other women. When a girl flirt with him and I went outside to "bin my drink", he immediately left that girl and followed me outside.

However there are two red flags. After dinner he wanted to take me to a bar despite that I told him I don't drink. Also, now he wants to take me plane spotting but wants me to take me for a drive after. Should I be concerned?
  • Yes he only wants a hookup.
    Vote A
  • He wants a relationship.
    Vote B
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
I forgot about this! When we talk, he asked about my family, aspirations, careers, hobbies and even the weather. He seems to take great interest to it, or is he feigning?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Your vote is only a choice between him either hooking up with you, or wanting a full relationship. From what you've said, everything is very positive. Guys work really hard to impress the girl they are interested in. However, the red flags you pointed out aren't really that red, so much as just yellow. The Red flags that I'm noticing is the fact that he has seemed to do a complete change around for you. Humans are creatures of habit, and I'm not saying that people can't change, because they can, major changes take time and effort. I'm certain that you are really interested in this guy, but I would tread very softly until you really get to see his true nature. Because people can act a certain way around someone, but when they get comfortable, their true nature comes out and then you can make a fair judgment of that person. It's normal to want to show your best side to someone you like.
    As for wondering if he just wants to hook up with you, that's really easy, don't sleep with him. Some guys will go to incredible lengths to sleep with a girl. Don't get me wrong, just because a guy does want to sleep with you, 'hook up' with you, doesn't make them the devil. However, even with good guys, if you give it up too early, they lose respect and interest in you, so hold out on sleeping with each other at least until you are actually in a relationship. When a guy works towards something, puts money, time, effort, and commitment into something (especially in dating) they want to hold on to it more. So when you do decide to sleep with this person, they won't be so quick to put in that much time and effort, just to leave you. Honestly, he does initially sound like a nice guy who is genuinely interested. Sorry for writing so much

    • I want to thank you so much for the answer. You are such a legend, and this is certainly the best answer I have ever had the honour of receiving in this website. Thank you so much for reading and answering my question properly :)

      Although, the activity, driving and plane spotting, is during the day he suggested. But still scared about "going for the drive". Once, this sleazy guy drove me to a secluded area at night and started touching me inappropriately. I was disgusted. I hope it does not end in the same way. By calling me "hun", it doesn't mean well does it? I know his brother calls his girlfriend "hun" on Facebook but they probably do it to everyone.

    • Show All
    • Thanks for helping me out. I guess that his intentions are unclear right now due to the votes. I was so stupid. Could have put "too early to tell", and people think it is more likely a hookup than anything serious.

    • Don't judge your relations on others opinions because the time you start doing this you are loosing yourself and falling in trap of so called society. See what your mind tells your heart. And do what's correct for you at this moment. It's not only guys want to just hooked up. There girls too in same quest. We all here will give a practical votes on the bases of your story but I know deep in heart that every one has secrets. List down what you want from this relation.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • "Stopped" uploading suggestive photos with women. he's a dirtball, won't change, he'll bag you till he's tired of you then go on a cheating rampage before dumping you.

    • I'm a cheater as well lol. But why would he be patient with me if 10000s of women are willing to sleep with him on the first day? It doesn't make sense.

    • ... why would he tell you he's patient with you, its obviously not the situation that's occurring. he stopped posting about it to sway you in his direction before you get the 90,000 partners std infestation don't sleep with him vibe.

    • forgot there is a very slim chance like 1% that he really likes you, and means it. that's if you were friends for a good period of time, like 6 months to years. well since you're a cheater too start team cheating orgies up...

  • What ever you mentioned above are all common traits in both type of person, but my vote was A because I don't see that you know anything more then this which is common in today's world. Try to find out how much he trusts you and you are a women I don't have to tell you how. But my ears are open for any question you need clarity on.

    • I have some suspicions about him. He's a hot guys, so many women are after him. However, why would he invest time in me when any other women could sleep with him in one go?

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    • He's a musician and he's hot. He can get enough attention from stage and a lot of naive women tend to think by getting pregnant or sleeping with guys, it will somehow magically bag them and get them to commit.

    • Let's consider your childhood story. You liked a toy in the shop and you fought for it till you hit it in your arm. Don't take me wrong just consider that the musician is the same toy what would you do. Fight for it without judging it. Also as I said in a wrong conversation chain about. Do what you want

  • seems that he wants a relationship

    • When we talk, he asked about my family, aspirations, careers, hobbies and even the weather. He seems to take great interest to it, or is he feigning?

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    • Could you send one please? i have to be lvl 2 or something stupid x3

    • I've sent you a message. Did you get it?

  • He seems pretty clean to me

    • I know. I mean it doesn't make sense that he wants to hookup. So many girls are willing to sleep with him on the first day why would he waste time on me? He often asks how my day is and how I was and if I am feeling alright. He talked about a relationship and that he would commit so WTF?

    • A lot of guys who want to hook up will want to be physical with you but will come off as emotionally distant. He seems the opposite

What Girls Said 2

  • He's introducing you to his friends. You're a long term plan.

    • I forgot about this! When we talk, he asked about my family, aspirations, careers, hobbies and even the weather. He seems to take great interest to it, or is he feigning?

    • Show All
    • I agree with belle pepper you will miss what you are having. Also if anyone wants to continue a realation then the person will share something which he or she has not shred with many. Like one good example already take here was introducing his school or close friends

    • He told me which hospital he was born in along with medical conditions. He also told me the places he lived in.

  • it is way too soon to really know though only time will tel!


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