Does he only want to hookup?

[DeflectedAileron]

I met a guy on a dating site that I am very attracted to. After a couple of dates he:
- Deleted dating profile.
- Wanted me to meet his friends.
- Never talked about sex or touched me inappropriately.
- Added me on FB.
- Stopped uploading suggestive photos with women. He used to have tons of those.
- Told me he does not sleep around.
- Had a relationship talk. Told me he becomes friends with a girl before moving onto a relationship and that the most important part of a relationship is trust. And that there would be no trouble commiting if you really like that person.
- I had a holiday. He was very afraid that I won't be back and asked me details if I would come back. Was relieved when I told him I will be coming back.
-Never takes out his phone unless to show me something.
-Never looks at other women. When a girl flirt with him and I went outside to "bin my drink", he immediately left that girl and followed me outside.

However there are two red flags. After dinner he wanted to take me to a bar despite that I told him I don't drink. Also, now he wants to take me plane spotting but wants me to take me for a drive after. Should I be concerned?

Yes he only wants a hookup.

He wants a relationship.

Updates

+1 y

I forgot about this! When we talk, he asked about my family, aspirations, careers, hobbies and even the weather. He seems to take great interest to it, or is he feigning?

[Azukuban]

Your vote is only a choice between him either hooking up with you, or wanting a full relationship. From what you've said, everything is very positive. Guys work really hard to impress the girl they are interested in. However, the red flags you pointed out aren't really that red, so much as just yellow. The Red flags that I'm noticing is the fact that he has seemed to do a complete change around for you. Humans are creatures of habit, and I'm not saying that people can't change, because they can, major changes take time and effort. I'm certain that you are really interested in this guy, but I would tread very softly until you really get to see his true nature. Because people can act a certain way around someone, but when they get comfortable, their true nature comes out and then you can make a fair judgment of that person. It's normal to want to show your best side to someone you like.
As for wondering if he just wants to hook up with you, that's really easy, don't sleep with him. Some guys will go to incredible lengths to sleep with a girl. Don't get me wrong, just because a guy does want to sleep with you, 'hook up' with you, doesn't make them the devil. However, even with good guys, if you give it up too early, they lose respect and interest in you, so hold out on sleeping with each other at least until you are actually in a relationship. When a guy works towards something, puts money, time, effort, and commitment into something (especially in dating) they want to hold on to it more. So when you do decide to sleep with this person, they won't be so quick to put in that much time and effort, just to leave you. Honestly, he does initially sound like a nice guy who is genuinely interested. Sorry for writing so much

[DeflectedAileron]

I want to thank you so much for the answer. You are such a legend, and this is certainly the best answer I have ever had the honour of receiving in this website. Thank you so much for reading and answering my question properly :)

Although, the activity, driving and plane spotting, is during the day he suggested. But still scared about "going for the drive". Once, this sleazy guy drove me to a secluded area at night and started touching me inappropriately. I was disgusted. I hope it does not end in the same way. By calling me "hun", it doesn't mean well does it? I know his brother calls his girlfriend "hun" on Facebook but they probably do it to everyone.

[DeflectedAileron]

I forgot about this! When we talk, he asked about my family, aspirations, careers, hobbies and even the weather. He seems to take great interest to it, or is he feigning?

[Azukuban]

If there is a concern for safety, always keep in mind that your safety is to never be compromised. Now, just because you met him on the internet doesn't make him a total creep, it's just another outlet to meet people. I don't use the internet, because I think it's more personal to meet a girl in person. It makes us both feel safe. So I highly suggest meeting him a few times until you're certain he isn't dangerous, since there are a lot of creeps out there. When I ask a girl out on a date, I usually give her the option of meeting me some place so she feels safe (not that I'm dangerous but she doesn't know that).

As for the nickname. Some guys just call girls that. I don't but it really comes down to the person. It could ether be he feels comfortable with you, or it's just a force of habit. Honestly, not that big of a deal, but if it's bothering you, let him know.

[Azukuban]

Remember, a guy who is paying attention to you, your life and details, is showing a genuine interest. However, there is a difference between being interested and just showing interest. When I started dating my last girlfriend, she would always tell me details about her and later ask me about those details just to see if I actually cared and was paying attention (thankfully I was both.) Spend some time with him and really get to know him. Make him open up and do everything you can to have him show you who he really is.

[DeflectedAileron]

From the votes, it is interesting to note that guys are saying hookup and the girls are saying a relationship. Maybe it says girls are more naive while guys can see right though it? It does not surprise me that he wants a hookup to be honest, and he is not worth my time or career. However, so many girls throw themselves at him at the first day, and right away. Why would he want to wait for me and didn't even talk about or mention sex with me? I remember a guy that wanted to hookup was touching me inappropriately once private and was asking about sex in the car and what I would do.

[Azukuban]

You'll figure it out. Trust yourself and your instincts. If you have any other questions, feel free to ask me. Good luck in the future!

[DeflectedAileron]

Thanks for helping me out. I guess that his intentions are unclear right now due to the votes. I was so stupid. Could have put "too early to tell", and people think it is more likely a hookup than anything serious.

[Askkenny]

Don't judge your relations on others opinions because the time you start doing this you are loosing yourself and falling in trap of so called society. See what your mind tells your heart. And do what's correct for you at this moment. It's not only guys want to just hooked up. There girls too in same quest. We all here will give a practical votes on the bases of your story but I know deep in heart that every one has secrets. List down what you want from this relation.

[Askkenny]

What ever you mentioned above are all common traits in both type of person, but my vote was A because I don't see that you know anything more then this which is common in today's world. Try to find out how much he trusts you and you are a women I don't have to tell you how. But my ears are open for any question you need clarity on.

[DeflectedAileron]

I have some suspicions about him. He's a hot guys, so many women are after him. However, why would he invest time in me when any other women could sleep with him in one go?

[Askkenny]

You said you met him right? And all women has this six sense in them what didn't tell you?

[DeflectedAileron]

He's a musician and he's hot. He can get enough attention from stage and a lot of naive women tend to think by getting pregnant or sleeping with guys, it will somehow magically bag them and get them to commit.

[Askkenny]

Let's consider your childhood story. You liked a toy in the shop and you fought for it till you hit it in your arm. Don't take me wrong just consider that the musician is the same toy what would you do. Fight for it without judging it. Also as I said in a wrong conversation chain about. Do what you want

[BellePepper]

He's introducing you to his friends. You're a long term plan.

[DeflectedAileron]

I forgot about this! When we talk, he asked about my family, aspirations, careers, hobbies and even the weather. He seems to take great interest to it, or is he feigning?

[BellePepper]

If you have this many questions about what sounds like an earnest guy there's no advice that I can give that will change your interpretation.

[DeflectedAileron]

I was thinking that I might be naive. Maybe I should wait and see the answer. I don't do sex so I guess his true colours will reveal if I with hold it from him. It's the votes that are interesting. Most girls say he is interested in a relationship, while guys say it's a hookup. I don't know who to believe now that it's 50/50.

[BellePepper]

You're going to so be worried about something that not's there, you'll miss what you already have.

[Askkenny]

I agree with belle pepper you will miss what you are having. Also if anyone wants to continue a realation then the person will share something which he or she has not shred with many. Like one good example already take here was introducing his school or close friends

[DeflectedAileron]

He told me which hospital he was born in along with medical conditions. He also told me the places he lived in.

[Anonymous]

it is way too soon to really know though only time will tel!

[666threesixes666]

"Stopped" uploading suggestive photos with women. he's a dirtball, won't change, he'll bag you till he's tired of you then go on a cheating rampage before dumping you.

[DeflectedAileron]

I'm a cheater as well lol. But why would he be patient with me if 10000s of women are willing to sleep with him on the first day? It doesn't make sense.

[666threesixes666]

... why would he tell you he's patient with you, its obviously not the situation that's occurring. he stopped posting about it to sway you in his direction before you get the 90,000 partners std infestation don't sleep with him vibe.

[666threesixes666]

forgot there is a very slim chance like 1% that he really likes you, and means it. that's if you were friends for a good period of time, like 6 months to years. well since you're a cheater too start team cheating orgies up...

[IBCrazyx3]

seems that he wants a relationship

[DeflectedAileron]

When we talk, he asked about my family, aspirations, careers, hobbies and even the weather. He seems to take great interest to it, or is he feigning?

[IBCrazyx3]

It looks like he just wants a nice, steady relationship to me, if any more red flags come up then be are, and if you really don't feel that its the best to be alone with him (as it seemed you were worried about that car ride) just ensure you stay in public places

[DeflectedAileron]

But since it is in day, should I worry? If it was a hookup, he'd suggest it to be night time, right?

[IBCrazyx3]

Day night... a hookup can happen and possibly worse (from the looks of it he won't do anything bad though)

[DeflectedAileron]

I noticed a lot of women throw themselves at him. I mean, so many women are willing to hookup with him in the first day, why would he even waste time on me when it is clear that I am not in it for a hookup? The only thing physical was a lingering hug he gave me that was around my back, nothing below though.

[IBCrazyx3]

Fuck... he generally likes you and doesn't want to push it xD maybe your his dream girl or something?

[DeflectedAileron]

I hope so! Or maybe he wants somebody to look after him. Maybe he thinks that pilots make the big bucks and decided he doesn't need to work anymore if he invests time with me.

[IBCrazyx3]

Your a pilot?

[DeflectedAileron]

I'm a student airline pilot :D I fly at an aviation academy where they offer me a tertiary degree in it. You don't need a university qualification to becomr a pilot but it makes you stand out of the crowd in employment and in cadetships, shows that you are prepared.

[IBCrazyx3]

I have been looking into becoming a pilot actually im looking at a school on the other side of the country from me, how easy is it to do the courses?

[DeflectedAileron]

Shoot me a private message and I can help you with that.

[IBCrazyx3]

Could you send one please? i have to be lvl 2 or something stupid x3

[DeflectedAileron]

I've sent you a message. Did you get it?

[DaddyRollingStone]

He seems pretty clean to me

[DeflectedAileron]

I know. I mean it doesn't make sense that he wants to hookup. So many girls are willing to sleep with him on the first day why would he waste time on me? He often asks how my day is and how I was and if I am feeling alright. He talked about a relationship and that he would commit so WTF?

[DaddyRollingStone]

A lot of guys who want to hook up will want to be physical with you but will come off as emotionally distant. He seems the opposite