Girlfriend touched me in my sleep?

Question

Last night was out first night sleeping in the same bed together. It was around 1 am. She started touching the inside of my thigh and slowly started moving upward. i was in so much shock and discomforr I wanted to run out of my own house. This morning I couldn't even talk to her. i haven't texted her all day and I'm thinking about just breaking it off. what would you do in my situation?

SammyGurl · Accepted Answer

Was she asleep? Reason I ask is that I did something similar to my then boyfriend (now hubby) in my sleep, we both sleep naked. (We had already had sex at this point in our relationship so sleeping naked was no big deal to us.)

Anyway my hand just had a mind of its own or its owner was having a really good dream; I ended up not just feeling around but made a big mess of the sheets giving him a handjob in my sleep! (Didn't remember a thing about it once I woke up.) It was pretty wet on my side too, so at least I subconsciously must have known something was up.

What you Re describing is normal curiosity from what sounds like an inexperienced curious young woman. Though you became defensive at the question of virginity it might be a safe assumption that you both are either virgins or just a little inexperienced. There isn't a thing wrong with either, so don't become defensive when asked, OK.

My advice is to shrug the incident off for now. At some point when the time is right talk to her about your feelings, I wouldn't tell her that you felt violated, she sounds like she was innocently exploring your manliness, so take it as a compliment that she wants to take it to the next level if you're willing and the timing is right.

crystalt70 · Accepted Answer

Whaaat? I'm so confused. You allowed your GIRLFRIEND to sleep in bed with you, but got creeped out when she touched you? Ummm... when men and women sleep together, they often touch each other. You gave the impression that you wanted things to go further, if you were in bed together. You lead her on. If I was in bed with a guy and I wanted something to progress, I would have done what she did, but been bolder about it. My impression would have been that the guy wasn't sure if it was okay to pursue sex with me if he hadn't made the move. Maybe he was waiting for some type of signal from me. She gave you the signal. People can tell the difference between someone who is asleep or not. It doesn't take a rocket scientist. Had I been in bed with a guy that I was already having sex with, I would definitely have no qualms about waking him up for sex. No, I would not have spoken. I would have woken him... in other ways. These things are normal and happen all of the time in relationships. If you weren't looking to go further, then you should have stated such stipulations before welcoming her into your bed. Miscommunication is a big issue and causes way too many problems in relationships.

HookingSwan · Accepted Answer

My answer will b simple: just talk with her, like sensible people do in adult relationships.

Dk why u guys haven't done this already.

No need to avoid her like the plague. I think she did something that is natural. Talk with her about it.

Tarvold · Accepted Answer

For the sake of consistency, my advice will be the same as what I would give a girl in this situation - if you're not prepared to have sex, don't sleep in the same bed together.

Now that's out of the way, I must also add this because... well... because you're a male teenager who just turned down your own girlfriend's sexual advances.

If you are gay, that's totally ok. But it's not going to do you any good to lead your girlfriend on to thinking that you're not. It's not honest of you, and it's really not fair for her.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

If this is supposed to be a joke, comedy is probably not your future.

loveisbeautiful · Answer

I know most people think you're being silly and the funny thing is, if a girl ask this exact same question they'd probably tell her to call the cops on him or something for attempted rape. So, this most assuredly proves that guys can't get upset about sex things, only girls can. I disagree with that though, no one has the right to touch someone in a sexual manner without knowing if they want that or not (be it man or woman). That was a major invasion of your space and body, you being a guy doesn't change that. She still should respect you and how you feel about stuff like that, so my advice is to talk to her and tell her how it made you feel and then go from there. I think breaking up should always be the very last resort, because you should always try to work things out first. Good luck.

oldlady · Answer

There's more to this story. I assume the issue is you feel like she took advantage of you while you were asleep, right? If that's the case, you have to decide if it was malicious - did she know you'd be upset? If she did, dump her immediately and don't look back. If, on the other hand, you think maybe she was hoping to turn you on and thought you'd like it, that may have been misguided on her part, but if the relationship is good otherwise, maybe you can save it by talking to her. I might just do this to my boyfriend tomorrow morning, coming on to him in his sleep, maybe waking him up with a blowjob. The difference here is that I KNOW he won't feel abused. I guess I'm just trying to say intent matters a lot.

ForReals23 · Answer

why... she is your girlfriend. Why are you with her if you aren't the least bit attracted to her. Im not saying be happy that she did what she did. But I dont think it should repulse you enough to break up with her. That seems excessive. If you really felt uncomfortable then talk to her about it.

justbanANNAz · Answer

some guys would find that sexy. I'm intrigued [in fact i admire] that u didn't.

u might want to talk to her before making any decisions. just let her know what u felt about it. then, if she doesn't get the message, u take action.

i just need to add though. if u r sleeping in the same bed and u allowed that to happen, u can understand y she'd think it'd b ok to do that. not defending her. just giving some perspective.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm not going to defend the way she acted considering she did that while you were supposedly asleep and that's a break of trust and kind of disrespectful.
But you were awake and didn't say anything. You should have and talk about it then rather than keeping it to yourself and distancing yourself like this (I'm assuming she didn't realize you were awake?).

Her redeeming feature is that she's probably around your age, and a curious virgin? She was probably too shy to do it or ask you directly if she could.
It doesn't mean she just wants you for sex or is using you, but that is something you will have to judge by yourself when you have a serious conversation with her.
I'm thinking she will feel ashamed and apologize if she really likes you.

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah, women tend to be far more entitled to sex than people realize. They assume that because you're male than any and all sexual advances will be welcome at all times.

Give her a chat first to let her know what your boundaries are. If she seems apologetic and accepting of them, you can keep her. But if she gets defensive or in any way pops an attitude with you, dump her ass.

Anonymous · Answer

I agree with you little miss. It is awful to be taken advantage of like I'm a piece of meat. What has this world come to when our own girlfriends, who we are suppose to trust, makes a sexual pass at us w/o wooing us or getting us in the mood with candles & stuff.

I'm sorry if I sound like a girl, but it's how I feel, I'm a good gi.. boy.

XOXOME16 · Answer

Umm. Fuck her. Literally. People want your problems.

Anonymous · Answer

Is this serious? Because if it is, I don't know whether to laugh my ass off or face plant my face to the nearest wall! Your significant other being horny FOR YOU is grounds for breaking up know? Since when? Why haven't I been told of this!

AllThatSweetJazz · Answer

Your reaction was insane. Some people think there's some sort of double standard going on here, no that's not the case. Whether guy or girl, your reaction was crazy and ridiculous.

findingdreamland · Answer

What you refer here is I understand ; pretty serious. But your reaction is a bit much. Just tell her you did not like it. She will probably never do it.

Chris_Pratt · Answer

Wow that story gave me goosebumps. So creepy. I'd definitely file a restraining order if I were you. She seems dangerous. :o

meatballs21 · Answer

Fling the covers off the bed and give her a good hard seeing to in all three holes.

Anonymous · Answer

It was sexual assault but unfortunately society will not say or do anything about it.
You would simply be shamed and ridiculed for even mentioning it.

Now if it was you doing that to her, You would be in jail already.

singlebee · Answer

Stop trolling!!! You seem like a very religious virgin to me. hahahsha

Anonymous · Answer

Wow some of these disgusting posts. And people say we live a world where guys can come out with their issues...

RasAlGhul · Answer

i wish i had a girl doing me that... but anyway we are all diferent she was horny and was your 1 st time in the same bed... u didn't get into it.. anyway talk too her

MyAnacondaDoes · Answer

Stop being such a wuss... I'd be flattered and would proceed to bone the living daylight out of her.

higashi25733 · Answer

I think you should just break it off, if she did it once she'll do it again for sure.

Simply_iris · Answer

If you obviously dont want to be with her then you should definitely break it off with her.

cinderelli · Answer

dude.. she is your girlfriend.. not your pimp..

Spotme · Answer

Can I have your problems?

Ihav2fart · Answer

Are you a virgin?

Anonymous · Answer

You should have played along and fucked her

chuppachup · Answer

I would probably freak out like you did

Anonymous · Answer

You sir, are not even half a man

Anonymous · Answer

TALK TO HER ABOUT IT

Girlfriend touched me in my sleep?

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