Should I check his phone again or leave it?

[Anonymous]

So this guy I've been seeing for six months, I don't know about him anymore. He wanted to be in a relationship like in December, but because of school and family, I told him I wasn't ready for a relationship. Haven't had a boyfriend before as well. He then said he will wait until I'm ready. There are some red flags but whatever. He also claimed that he is not "talking" to any other girls.
Two weeks ago, my sister saw a mssg on his phone about how a girl wanted him to come over. He claims that he never got that. But I know my sister wouldn't lie to me. I know whenever I catched a glimpse of his phone, I saw a lot of girls names.
Before I was like, let's forget about it and move on. But my mind is telling me that something is still up. If he has nothing to do hide, then I should check his phone right? Cause he even told me that we would go through his messages to see he isn't lying, but we never did.

[mercykill]

I dont think you should go through someone's phone without their consent, if you didn't want to commit it's only normal he played around, that doesn't mean he didn't prioritize you and was waiting for you to want to be with him, he's not gonna go cold turkey for months just because you didn't want him yet.. But if he's lying about it then that's a red flag, you should tell him you want to see his phone, but tell him to his face and make it happen right away don't let him go and delete everything. If he doesn't let you then you're gonna have to make a decision.. Cus he's in his right not to show his private conversations, and you're in your right to say you can't handle the stress of not knowing, but you can't force it or be mad that he didn't let you.. That's what I think at least

[Ophelialis]

Unless you established that you're in a monogamous relationship he has every right to flirt with other girls. You said that you weren't ready to be bf/gf so he may have taken that as you're both single.
Looking through his personal items it's a huge red flag for trust issues and if you can't approach the situation without snooping it may be smarter to just discuss where you both feel you are in the relationship so there's no miscommunication.

[Chanel1981]

Trust your gut. What would be gained by going through his phone? Either you confirm he's taking to other women or not but the bottom line is you don't trust him

[Ikbee]

Well my personal rule: if someone breaks my privacy (like going through my phone to see messages or pictures) I insta lose all respect for that person. if u are suspicious then confront your uneasiness directly to him. if he still keeps dodging the subject then you have grounds for being for confronting. regardless don't go through people's personal things behind their backs

[Ikbee]

grounds for being more confronting and demanding*

[Asker]

Okay what if I ask him then?

[Ikbee]

then yes. he might not be happy if he's hiding something but then u will get your answer regardless.

[Asker]

Gotcha

[bsuguy20]

you're not even dating and you want to check his phone for cheating? you've been non exclusive for like 6 months. I wouldn't be surprised if he's fucking other girls and deleting the texts since he doesn't want to make you mad but you've left him hanging

[CRT1022]

Ask him if you can. If he has nothing to hide then he'd show you himself. Trust is important in relationships.

[Lupin_III]

If that's the case then she shouldn't have to go through his phone.

[CRT1022]

@Lupin_III But, her sister saw something interesting. Which should give her a right. Clearly something is up and just confronting him about it won't do much. She has to ask the guy first if she can double check. It isn't fair to her.

[Lupin_III]

I see what you're saying but by that logic its also unfair to him.

[Asker]

Thank you. I wish I didn't dismiss it easily. I feel like something is still up. Like my sister wouldn't lie to me. And he even SAID that I can even look through them so. I don't see what the issue is if he isn't hiding anything.

[CRT1022]

But did you ask him to see his messages? And what did he say? There is also a possibility that he deleted all of them.

Personally, I think you should forget about this guy. Because even if the relationship turned out to be non exclusive, he shouldve told you beforehand.

[Asker]

No I didn't ask. And they are Snap messages, so you can't technically delete them. I am going to meet him today actually. I know! When we talked about where we were a few weeks ago, he said that would let me know. He sent me screenshots of everything and repeatedly said that he didn't do it. But it's still bothering me.
So I'm just gonna say, "okay I'm still uneasy about the message. You said you didn't do it, but it's like what did Blessing really see? Can I see just to make sure? Because if we're going to date or whatever, I don't want to doubt and there needs to be trust you know." Plus my mom thinks he's a liar now. So it's either he fesses up. Good or?

[CRT1022]

It's great you're going to see him and yeah tell hin that. Hope all goes well 😊

[meatballs21]

You've kept him hanging in a non-exclusive relationship for six months, so you can't really go dictating any terms to him.

[Asker]

He's the one that said he'll wait for me. He also said that said he wouldn't talked to other girls. Asked him if I was wasting his time mutiple times, he said no. So...

[meatballs21]

So even though you're not even in an exclusive relationship, you're looking through his phone? You can't have your cake and eat it.

[Asker]

Okay but we're almost at the point though. It already feels like we are. I only talk to him and it's been almost seven months..

[soschris]

Yes, he might have something to hide and no you can't check HIS phone. The operative word is his.
He's given you a reason not to trust you, I get that, but there is never any reason to invade someone's privacy. If you act on these feelings it will make them stronger, not less, and if he finds out that can be a deal breaker in any relationship or you may spend so much time fighting over what YOU did, you may not get around to discussing his behavior.

[d_will945]

My first advice is to never go searching for truth that you don't want to see. Secondly if you have to check someone's phone then you should date someone else

[Lupin_III]

you don't even trust him and you left him hanging for so long. that's on you. you won't have a happy relationship if you don't even trust him. not only that but if you really feel the need to look through his phone AGAIN don't waste his time.

[Anonymous]

I would trust your sister and your gut instead.
Besides, it doesn't seem like you like this guy at all and he's already proving to be deceiving and whatnot... I would throw him back into the sea and forget about his phone.

[Gonetowardthewind]

If you can't trust him there's no way you would ever be able to have a stable relationship

[Dumbbong]

Ot seems trust is an issue. You might have to deal with this issue lifelong , until you are convinced things are okay. So a good way of stalking is indeed checking his profile/phone etc.

[TheNotorious]

you dont trust him so end relationship there is no point in continue it

[Galvin]

he playing ya, no problem for waiting on ya because he got side distraction

[HonestBish]

Lol If he told you you'd go through them then he deleted them. Wait till he goes to the bathroom or something and then check it. Guys think they're super sneaky and they try to be.

[ItsOnlyThePast]

I wouldn't go through his phone. maybe ask first.

[Asker]

Yeah, I was gonna ak him before i did it.

[TripleAce]

Yea check it... whateves lol

[backonthelist]

get the phone records from the store

[mart8009]

yes u gotta do it XD