I cheated, no one knows but myself, I didn't plan to cheat or even knew I wanted to cheat but it happened... what do I do?

Question

So I have a boyfriend of 3 years we're late 20s he won't put a ring on it even though I beg says he wants to be financially stable. He hasn't been a great boyfriend the past year almost. The past 2 months have been rocky and he knows I am not happy and I am debating calling it quits but he is happy and wants it to work. We start taking time a part not intentionally really but it just happens naturally... he starts to hardly even call me. All the sudden a guy from my past pops up and wants to hang out my boyfriend doesn't care if I hang out with guy friends as long as it's just friend. I think the opposite I think it's never ok. But at this point I am mad he doesn't care I am mad at the relationship I feel held back and I want to go out. My friend thinks me and my boyfriend are on break bc when we hung out the guy never called didn't even know or care where I was. In my mind it did feel like a break... I had fun it was harmless I was like that's the most fun I have had In a long time. He is very different from my boyfriend. A few days pass he wants to hang again I think why not, my boyfriend didn't even notice and my friend is leaving the state in 2 days so I won't see him again. This time it's different I dressed up and wanted to have fun my boyfriend never notices me much bc I am like old to him seen it before etc. so I dress my best... my friend loses it and goes nuts like compliments me like crazy it's very attracted to me and can't keep his hands off me. The moment arrives he pressures me so much l cave I am an adrenaline junkie and I go for it. After I am like what the heck, the friend leaves and won't even respond to me says he has a lot going on in his life. I am ashamed, humiliated, and I finally see my boyfriend and he can tell I am not ok. He says maybe we need to break to see where ur head is. I said let's think about it. I try to tell him I cheated but he makes it very clear that if I ever cheated he would basically destroy my life. So the guy is gone, my boyfriend doesn't know the guy doesn't know.

ThisDudeHere · Accepted Answer

"he won't put a ring on it"
Red flag #1, expects to be married just because she is approaching the wall.

"even though I beg"
How about you simply be a good girlfriend, spend time with him, and have him fall in love with you so much that he marries you? Why would anyone want to marry someone who's begging for it - it just means you want marriage not because of him, but because you just want the title of wife.

"He hasn't been a great boyfriend the past year almost."
In just the first sentence alone you proved yourself to not be all that great either.

"But at this point I am mad he doesn't care I am"
No, you are mad because he doesn't want to jump when you say so and instead wants to plan things through.

"bc I am like old to him seen it before etc. "
Then why the bloody fuck would you want to marry a guy at all? You WILL become "old" and "seen before" inevitably.

"I am ashamed, humiliated,"
You should be. You fucked up. And now you have to own up to your mistake and tell him. He deserves to know. You would want to know, if you were in his place, right?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I Dunn wanna say but you wanted to cheat
don't say you don't wanted to
and you're like you didn't knew it.
😏😏😏
you dressed your best to see your friend.
and he knew you he can get you in bed.
he fucked you up and screwed you
left alone with heck.
at least don't lie when you're asking something for your own good sack to people with anonymous name.

Just leave it I dunno what people think nowadays about relationship.
I'm so fucking tired of this people.
where one guy is afraid to commit and other just want to fuck
and the girl goes from her love to sex cause she's not feeling her relationship is working.
if you feel your relationship to work on
you should try to be with him.

I know something about what you can do with your boy

but I don't know if you wanna give a try
cause you didn't try before
But if you wanna reply back here.
i will just give you an answer you both are worthy to give a try.

BeautifulPromisesx · Accepted Answer

Seriously? So you hit a rough patch and you decided to cheat? You do realize that you begging him to get married is funny because marriage is a LONG TIME thing and I can assure you that in a marriage these rough times intensify sometimes.. So if you can't keep your hands to yourself now, I don't think you getting married would've been any better. Just break up with your boyfriend clearly you don't love or respect him to do that, and move on and don't contact the other guy either. You played yourself.

Danielle93 · Accepted Answer

You're not ready for a relationship if you need constant attention from a man. If you're relationship was really that bad, then nothing was keeping you from breaking up.
Also why would you even want to get engaged if your was as bad as you stated in the beginning of your post?
You can best assure he won't even want you as a friend if he finds out. Let him go and go single for a while.

linds34 · Accepted Answer

It sounds like you're not happy in the relationship and should break up with your boyfriend. It wasn't like a one-time mistake, it sounds more like you tried to date this 2nd guy and got rejected.

sean_hg17 · Answer

This is not going to be the most popular opinion... but you fucked up. Start preparing to move on. But he wasn't really treating you right, but instead of talking to him about how you are feeling since he said he wanted things to get better and someday put a Ring on it... you cheated.

girlinthisworld · Answer

He maybe doesn't necessarily have to know what happened with you and your friend. But it does sound like a big thunderstorm of confusion and mixed feelings. I'd say take a break from your boyfriend and just guys in general and try and figure out what YOU want in life. Whether it's to be with someone else or if it is to spend the rest of your life with your boyfriend.

chrisbigman · Answer

"So I have a boyfriend of 3 years we're late 20s he won't put a ring on it even though I beg says he wants to be financially stable." Leave him if he won't propose to you!!!
"I cheated, no one knows but myself, I didn't plan to cheat or even knew I wanted to cheat but it happened... what do I do?" Clearly you don't know what to do. Maybe you didn't plan to cheat, but you did it anyway.

Dave1971 · Answer

You have way too many expectations of how things are supposed to be and when they weren't met you decided to fall on anothers guys dick... You suck!! He deserves better than you and your lust of terrorist demands!!

FoCoChronic · Answer

Have the basic human decency to break up with him before you turn him into a cuck. You're a bitch

ajayrf · Answer

well you're in the wrong for fuckin another dude what u shoulda done and what u should do if your not happy is break up with dude that way ur free to do whatever

TomMicheal33 · Answer

Do you want to hear true way? Forget it dont tell no1 if you tell some1 1 day your boy friend will hear it. Forget everything and dont do again.

If you tell him you will never trust him and he will never trust you.

Anonymous · Answer

Love how everything is everyone else's fault. No surprise you have no ring and even the guy you cheat with dosen't want to talk to you.  Boo-hoo-poor-me.

disgustingweebtrash · Answer

I don't get girls, they say the relationship is breaking then break it even more by jumping on another dick. Tell him.

Anonymous · Answer

After read the first sentence and then the rest of the story, you're not a good person. Breakup and move on with your life.

xBreezy · Answer

As a man I honestly feel bad for your boyfriend he deserves much better. Hopefully one day karma will find its way to you.

DUPEK · Answer

your first sentence is enough to know that you dont deserve a relationship.. there s no excuse for cheating.. tell him and break up.. you dont deserve anything girl...

momo770 · Answer

I think he made a mistake. End a relationship before you go off and do something else.

Anonymous · Answer

Your boss, your tutor, God knows who else you're shagging Live your life, I'm done

BertMacklinFBI · Answer

you brought this on yourself. enjoy

mramen7612 · Answer

This is a really good job telling.

Arya_Christ · Answer

how would he destroy your life?

Anonymous · Answer

Tell him and apolgize. He has a right to know

Sluthater · Answer

Get rid of both.

I cheated, no one knows but myself, I didn't plan to cheat or even knew I wanted to cheat but it happened... what do I do?

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