More often than not, an ‘average Indian guy’ approaching a girl won’t end up well. But that same girl would be flattered if a foreigner offers to buy her a drink in the streets of London, or say, Paris? Sorry to bruise your egos, but what we’re going to talk about now may not feel very good at first, it might hurt even, but it’s important to talk about. Indian men don’t make the best partners, or so everyone believes.
Does every Indian man suck at dating? No. But is there still a problem with the way a major section of Indian men deal with relationships? A big, loud yes. Is it their fault? Not entirely.
At a stage where the mind is the most impressionable, boys and girls are separated. Remember how, back in school, guys had lunch with only guys, and girls with girls? Remember how guys would prefer being only around guys? They were all sent to co-ed schools, made to sit next to girls, and yet, most of them never had any female friends while growing up. Some hadn’t even had any real conversations with girls all those years they were in school. Becoming friends with other guys came naturally, but even making eye contact with a new girl was ‘weird’. The gap widened, the discomfort deepened.
And that one guy who hung out with girls at school was laughed at as a kid, even bullied. He was reminded, time and again, that boys weren’t ‘supposed’ to talk to girls; that a boy would only be around a girl if he wanted to date her. A boy and a girl being friends wasn’t even seen as a possibility. It was okay to crush on a girl, even discuss her with other male friends, but ‘against the gender’ to walk up to her and just talk. They grew up seeing women only as objects of desire, not as people they could talk to, be friends with. They looked at her as a trophy they could get when they wanted.
That explains why some Indian men think it is perfectly okay to ogle at her even at the cost of making her uncomfortable and scared. It is okay to pass comments on her, discuss her with their friends, see her only for her heaving bosom and swaying hips. Of course, a man who sees her as a trophy wouldn’t respect a simple ‘No’. The concept of consent and respecting someone’s choice wouldn’t occur to him. He would either persuade her till she blocks him on social media, or follow her till she changes her route. Thanks to Bollywood, they think stalking her, intruding her private space, forcing her into something is how it’s done. Finally, if she doesn’t agree, he would slut shame her.
She’s a woman and women are supposed to be around for men to seek pleasure. How dare she refuse?
What’s worse is that these same men who seek their friends’ help to hook up with hot girls at parties, would never even allow a guy near their own sisters. And this ridiculous Indian mentality is common knowledge. Women know that most guys hitting on them would never be cool with the idea of the women of their house being with men.
Go to any Indian gym and you’d find dozens of men ogling at that one girl stretching on the side, quietly, trying everything she can to avoid all that attention. They’d stare at her, make her uncomfortable for days, but never have the courage to go and talk to her. They would sit at lunch with other men at office, discuss women but never actually go and talk to one, something that could actually make them see women for more than their bodies and also help them understand what they like better! Even when they do decide to approach a girl, they do it disrespectful
thanks to never having interacted with women properly. Sending creepy messages on Facebook is a very common affair. No points for guessing why exactly they get rejected every time.
Even when they do get a girl, they expect her to conform to the roles of being a girl – the submissive one in the relationships. It is, of course, obvious how the guy feels extra protective and possessive of the woman he’s dating. They find it hard to come to terms with the fact that their girlfriends can be more ambitious, stronger, more successful and famous or earn more than them. The ‘male ego’ is a brittle little thing, it’s true.
There’s also another section of guys who may not be as offensive, but equally inept at understanding women – the kinds who get ‘friendzoned’ by every girl they meet. It’s not always the girl’s fault. They fail to understand there lies a difference between a girl being friendly with them and dropping hints. They’ve never really had female friends, so it’s not hard to believe
that they read the wrong signs and assume any girl who talks to them is interested in them.
Do you see how much harm that one invisible line of ‘difference’ that’s carved in our heads as kids does? It’s definitely a relief to see the present generation becoming much more open-minded right from their childhood. But it’s still going to take a while for men in this country to adapt to the idea of being around girls and maybe that’s when we can expect them to learn the art of approaching women and dating them.
Disclaimer – First things first, we’re not saying this applies to “every” man in the country. There’s no statement that applies to all of us, never can be. I assume (and hope) you carry that sensibility on your own while reading this piece.
You would be mature decide what would be my answer.
i didn't read any of this and am not going to lmao
Okay.
I am an Atheist, I come from a Christian background I don't fit the racist stereotypes racist white women like Kayla perpetuate and I don't have a "culture".
I am Indian and I would not date Indian women because 1. The majority of Indians are hindu so most Indian girls are more likely to be hindu. 2. Hindu girls tend to be vegetarian which I am not 3. Hindus do not like Indian Christians
So in summary from a cultural standpoint I cannot and refuse to date Indian girls specifically hindus because their culture and diet does not align with mine.
Really? I know a lot of Indians that eat both white and red meat.
But it's not common.
I think it is, maybe not in India itself. Most Indian Americans* // ones i know and were brought up in the United States eat meat. But I believe most stick with just white meat, they don't eat red meat.
The ones here In America only eat meat when they are with their white friends but they don't eat meat infront of their parents.
Eating beef is a taboo amongst Indians and they look down on people like me for eating beef because their religion says that those who eat beef are unholy and "untouchable".
Okay no. I'm Indian, me and my dad not only enjoy but love steak, all sorts of red meat, etc. I eat in front of my white friends. But my parents TOO. I don't know if you realize that a lot of Indians actually eat CHICKEN, maybe not cow i agree, but chicken yes.
It maybe a taboo, in fact yes it is. But do people really follow that still? And no, heck I'm unholy and untouchable now because I eat beef. But I'm telling you, a heck ton of people eat meat. Chicken, at least. But yeah cows, it's more of the foreigners here in America.
Yes I know Indians eat chicken, my mother makes the best Chicken Biryani and butter chicken in the world afterall.
The problem with Bollywood is that they white wash their actors and actresses. Bollywood film producers insist that their talent look as fair as possible. I'm not sure why they think they need to do this. Actors like Salman Khan are very handsome. But if you walk down the streets of Mumbai, people are really not going to be looking like those two you have pictured. LOL
yeah. that's why i mentioned how inaccurate the pictures were when i used them as an example. and yeah, they believe the fairer skin equals beauty. hence skin whitening products, etc. i mean there are plenty of Indians with decently fair skin, but ones with darker skin tones are more often seen.
just realized how messy my comment was right there oop.
Yes, I knew you mentioned that. I don't blame you because it's hard to find a normal, natural attractive Indian photo without an Indian trying to look like they're white. I have Indian friends who are perfectly attractive without looking white and they look more true to their race and culture when they deck themselves out in traditional clothing - guys included.
I see what you're saying, totally. Me personally, I'd rather date someone like a NRI, rather than someone particularly from India. I also think a lot of Indians here in America, from what I've seen, are very different from what you picture the men to be like in India itself. Wether it be westernization, or the fact that they're brought up in a different place, style, attitude, etc. But same, I know many indian guys who I find to be very attractive. But they do tend to have that white feel like you mentioned- don't really know how else to describe it.
@Ozanne
You demonstrate the inherent racism against Indians perpetuated by western media. For decades we have been portrayed as ugly people and it is ingrained in white peoples minds that we are ugly because that is the only representation we've had in the media.
Your hollywood is also guilty of racism therefore he who is without sin cast the first stone. Also why is hollywood allowed to favour "light skin"? I don't see you complaining about "light skin" aka white actors in hollywood being the predominant race in movies while darker skin actors are a minority and are portrayed negatively.
I hate racism and racism makes me very angry.
@Asker
Indians have this gene called the caucasus gene we are technically caucasian, so are Arabs, Iranis, white people etc.
@Anti-Racism-Activist Well, I think the same thing when blacks try to look white. I find it more appealing to see someone looking their own race without trying to look like another. Whites get in to trouble on a minutely basis for misappropriating culture (let's face it, race), but it's a double standard if it's not the other way around. And if you want to go back as far as the first humans, then we are all black *technically*.
And I think you just demonstrated a bit of racist assumption all on your own when you say Indians have been portrayed as ugly. And people favouring light-skin. Says who? You did - in your post. Nothing like that was said in my original response, so if it's on your mind enough to point that out when it wasn't there, I think you are subconsciously adding to the racist problem.
No, I would not date an Indian guy.
-way too many cultural differences
-not into joining any of the Indian religions
-not a fan of the family structures common in most Indian families
Also, most Indian guys look like this; not like the one you posted in the writeup:
photos1.blogger.com/.../pics%20011.jpg
ha ha.. you are absolutely right..
Likewise I would not dare a white woman
- Too racist for my liking
- Very arrogant and judgmental
- Hypocritical
Side note: I have the same culture as you and you know why? Because I come from a CHRISTIAN background. Thats right you ignorant ******* WE'RE NOT ALL THE SAME.
It's people like you that make me hate white women. #IDidNothingWrong #Racism
White men are all ugly too. They don't alll look like brad pitt.
@Anti-Racism-Activist LOL
Thanks for reminding me of one I forgot to add to the list
-denying that they're like 99% of brown men who are creepy and inappropriate af. Then, when they fail to change your mind and successfully force themselves on you, resorting to childish name-calling.
Probably not because the ones that I have talked to so far are very different than how I am. Meaning, our jokes, views are quite different.
definitely views are different for sure.. but why jokes lol
@KaranSharma55 lol I don't know
then sure may be its the guy only not all we Indians lol
Opinion
19Opinion
I find many Indian women physically attractive and beautiful.
BUT... CULTURE is a huge issue in relationships, so unless she was 3rd generation American or more, it's unlikely that I'd be interested in dating her - because our cultures would be too different, and because I have no interest in changing mine.
What I wrote would be true of women from any non-western culture. Being attracted to someone isn't nearly enough to make a relationship work - compatibility is critical.
Why do you white people act like we want to force our "culture"?
@Anti-Racism-Activist Who said anything about "force"? And why do you assume I'm "white people"?
If you are 1st or 2nd-Gen immigrant - from ANYWHERE - you're naturally going to have a hard time changing your culture to your new environment - and the greater the differences between the cultures, the harder it's likely to be. That's normal and natural. By the 3rd generation, people will have significantly assimilated the new culture, but usually 2nd generation folks are still pretty closely tied to their home culture, because their parents tend to keep them that way.
Culture affects everything - from religion to relationships/marriage, to the food that you eat and the clothes that you wear. And if you don't think big cultural differences don't put a huge strain on a relationship, you're either naive or crazy.
I'm Indian and I never had trouble with girls.
I know it's hard to believe, but I'm actually a good looking Indian guy. I get girls checking me out all of the time when I'm out in public. A lot of them even look surprised to see me.
Not trying to brag or anything, I'm just stating my experience.
Also culture isn't even an issue. I'm an atheist and grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood and went to a white school.
Also I don't have a white girl fetish. I have seen attractive girls of all races.
ah. I'm Indian as well but I don't find myself attractive honestly, though that's not my point here. And i don't pay attention to wether someone really checks me out or not because I can't really tell.
I'm agnostic, I live in a city that's full of different religions, though recently a lot of Indians have moved into the are due to development and other factors. But all in all the school i went to had such differentiation in ethnicities.
And lel, why do you say that? But yeah, I see. Thanks for the reply
According to the Are You Interested facebook app study, East Indian guys are the least desired race of males in America. Go to youtube and type in "racial preference" and look at some of the videos there to see what I mean.
I do see Indian girls with white guys all the time nowadays, though. I didn't use to see that until fairly recently, but the amount of that type of interracial relationship seems to have exploded.
There are a lot of Indian people in the area where I live. I think many of the women are VERY attractive. If they don't mind mixing culturally I'd date one.
if i liked them i guess, i kind of find that i often dont not cause they are indian but their culture and the things they like just seem very different to mine, and I've never felt a particular atraaction to them
Indian girls can actually be some of the most attractive, at least from what I've seen. My current crush is Indian
yes cause I'm an Indian lol
But I wouldn't mind people of other races
I see about twenty Indian women every day that I would love to date, except that they are too young and I'm happily married.
Sure, if I'm attracted to him and the culture difference doesn't get in the way
I feel like everyone would date a Indian, just comes down to simple attraction
really? i mean i guess so. but when it comes down to preferences, i don't think dating an indian would be common as someone's first choice
well there's a lot of people in the world, and everybody has preferences, and some people prefer Indians and some don't.
i know, but just saying. thanks for the reply
what about dev patel? I think hell YES
oh heck sign me up ; ))
I wouldn't because i don't find Indian people attractive (no offense). The woman you showed wasn't too pretty or attractive but the man is ok. His skin tone is lighter so he's probably a mix.
im not indian so no worries honestly, i don't feel offended. i think she's adorable, and both of them are 100% indian, no mixed ethnicities. yes most Indian guys have darker skin tones, but many Indians especially from the northern side I believe are fair toned as well. just because his skin tone is lighter doesn't mean he's not indian, or of mixed ethnicities
I think to get Indian girls to fall for you requires a lot of patience. The ones who can get an Indian girl to fall for them are really great!! lmao😂😂😂
why are u asking this again...
dont ask useless shit
uh? i never asked this before
There are a couple cute Indian girls at work, but they are just out of college so like 22, and I feel a little weird approaching them in that way.
She would have to be hot and for a little while because our cultures don't match up
Yes race doesn't have anything to do with my dating choices.
I would but I think their religion is different and usually stay with their own and have prearranged marriages still
Maybe, probably not cause of religious reasons.
I already am. And I love her.
No to many differences to understand
could you give an example? if you don't mind~
alright, i understood that. but i wanted an example of culture differentiation.
I would date Sidhart for sure !!! 🤔🤔🤔
message conveyed
Conveyed to Sidharth? Lol 🤣🤣😛😛😛
Indian men are the bomb diggity
Of course
If she was a tomboy and modern, I might
I assume many girls like us
No...
No..
Sure
sure why not
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