Is being "busy" a good excuse for not texting back?

[Peopleschamp]

It's a convenient excuse. Everyone uses it. I get it. However, realistically, how long does it actually to take to TYPE a text message? Between reading a message, and replying, we're looking at maybe what, 15-20 seconds? So when people finally reply after sometimes days of no response, is "I've been busy" code for I just don't wanna talk to you? For some reason being left on open or read is so frustrating, just take 5 seconds to say hey I'm doing x y z at the moment I'll message you later. Anyone disagree?

[PrettyKitty31]

I feel like there are a few factors that come into play. I think it depends on the relationship you're in and I think it depends on the content of the message. If you've just written me out 5 paragraphs of text yea I'm not responding to that immediately unless I've got several minutes to kill. Personally, I think it's rude to just shoot a sentence to someone after they've written a book.
I have said "you've written a lot, I'm busy right now, I will respond when I can with a thought out answer"
however, that again depends on the relationship. If you're some guy I've known for 10 minutes I'm probably going to just let you hang there for a bit. Because I feel like with some people you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. As I've said, I have told people I was busy. One guy had the nerve to basically demand I respond then even after saying I'm busy and I'll get back to you because "you had time to respond just do it now!" Who the f*ck do you think you are? Nope!
I try not to leave people hang for days or weeks but, I admit, it happens. I read the message when I'm busy and totally forget to get back to it. It's not always disinterest, at least not for me, I just have a shitty memory.

[TonyRyanAgain]

Respond now! Lmao

[PrettyKitty31]

@TonyRyanAgain lmao which reminds me I never did respond to you yesterday! Hahahaha 😂

[TonyRyanAgain]

That's okay, you're forgiven, woman. 😈

[PrettyKitty31]

@TonyRyanAgain... really. We were good there for a second. Grrrrr

[cutestboyever]

Well... you did have the time to respond..
And yeah I totally forget sometimes too at work

[PrettyKitty31]

@cutestboyever you're right. I had a moment to respond, but I didn't have 5 minutes to sit down and type out a reply to his short story.

[PrettyKitty31]

Would you rather take your time and send out a long drawn out text and get "k" back? I mean I could totally do that but I'm pretty sure that would be another issue. Or would you prefer I also take my time and respond the way you did? Probably the latter.

[blasiangirl12]

It depends. No because for example if you're not texting back but I see you posting on social media and then hit me up the next day saying 'I was busy', I'll think that's rude. People make time for the people they want to make time for. It's called priorities. Even if they don't text back as soon as you message them but they explain before hand that they're text back game is weak or they'll be busy, that's more understandable than nothing at all.
Yes because some people are generally busy people. If you didn't think you would be busy but you actually end up being busy and couldn't text someone saying that then it makes sense

[Zelea]

Outside of a relationship, yes. And yeah sometimes busy means I don't feel like talking and that's ok, I still love you the same as before. Sometimes I'm busy relaxing, enjoying my own company. If I'm around other people I find it rude to hold a text convo. Or I might actually be busy with work, errands, adulting, etc.

In a relationship, no, you prioritize things you find important, but that doesn't mean you "deserve" a text back within 5 minutes.

[Citara]

People who expect an answer right away are way more annoying then people who say they won't text back because they are busy. Sometimes it seems that people just can't accept that they have to wait for someone to text back and believe their conversation is the most important thing in the world. And yes, it can be very distracting to answer messages when you are busy, even when it just takes 10 seconds

[Peopleschamp]

What's the point of checking your texting messages if you aren't going to respond though? If someone was that busy then why would they even be on their phone. I think there is a difference between super busy to the point you can't write a message and being lazy that you can't write a 5 second message saying hey I'll talk to you later at work or something like that. That way the person understands you're not just ignoring them.

[Zelea]

The point of checking the message is to be sure it's not important and doesn't need an immediate response.

[Citara]

@Zelea Exactly!

[LinguistRick]

I'm a terrible texter and my girlfriend has gotten upset with me numerous times because of this. I told her that I am not ignoring her, that I am really busy and prefer to focus on the work in front of me. I recall one time she sent me a follow up text 5 min after she sent the first one. The second one said "?" I thought it was cute. A lot of women want an immediate response, which is the expectation now days with social media and everyone being connected. I told my girl I would not change and that if it's very important, to call. She kicked and screamed for a while but now she understands. Unfortunately couples think it's a good idea to text non stop. What they don't realize is this is slowly ruining the relationship.

[brocklee]

It is a petty thing. How did our ancestors find ways to seek ways to get the attention of their love when out working, shopping, basically just living life? They didn't. The absence was GOOD.

Today we have the ability to communicate at any time, any place. It has turned men and women into attention seekers. "Needing" constant affirmation from their object of desire. It is weak. It is bullshit.

[Heythere2013]

I am on the fence w/this one. When dating, I noticed a trend, if the guy was too busy to do things for/with me, he was interested. If I'm in a relationship that is different. When my boyfriend gets busy, he cannot text, but he still makes an effort. If the person claims to be busy and is updating facebook, they are telling you lies. My long distance guy would always make excuses why he couldn't text, but he could post on social media.

[ojpaudu]

Dude, stop worrying about how long it takes for people to respond to you. You're going to drive yourself crazy with it. The only solution to it is to start living your own life (cliche i know) , stop waiting for other to respond to you and get busy yourself.

[mikenike44]

YES! Everyone should follow this advice. Increases productivity, reduces risk of depression/anxiety, improves self-confidence, and im sure there's more benefits i can't think of right now

[Mantis595]

It depends on the topic and on whether or not answering that one text might lead to a full blown conversation. Sometimes people are actually busy and would rather not get distracted.

But yeah, most of the time it's just a convenient excuse to avoid conversation.

[ElisaPlease]

Yes because the more you respond to texts, the more the other person assumes you are to conversation. Sometimes I'll keep it going if I can tell they want to talk. But most days, I just won't respond. Warning someone before hand about bad texting habits is a better solution.

[RealandGenuine1991]

Everyone doesn't have their phone in their hand 24/7. but saying you're busy is a lame excuse. Sometimes I have my phone at the bottom of my purse when we're out somewhere , I don't always check my messages but when I do, I do make an effort to respond. I think it's rude to see a message and not respond on purpose. It shows you aren't concerned or interested to me

[Ads123]

It's better if you know you're going to be busy at the start to say look i can't talk i'm busy and when things calm down i'll get back to you,
But even if someone says they're busy after days without replying it could be that they didn't want to say they were busy or get themselves into a conversation with you that would distract them

[Anonymous]

Yeah if they haven't replied by the end of the day or next morning I think it's an excuse. You do have to account for really busy shifts though like in the healthcare profession etc, or those that travel with network coverage etc. But yes generally after 24 hours it becomes an excuse.

[loraa]

A lot of people are lazy texters and using the "I'm busy" text is pretty convenient for them. But using it all the time is annoying and you can already tell that they are lying.

[Harrisontb]

Sometimes you're in a situation where having your phone out, even if for one text, is impolite, like funerals (one of many examples). I think there's more to it than just how long it takes to type.

[ThisDudeHere]

It does not indeed take long to type a text. But you type back once, they'll write again, and then you'll have to type back to that, and to the one after that, and after that, ad infinitum.

[Peopleschamp]

I see where you are coming from. For me personally, I would totally understand a "hey I'm doing xyz talk later" text and would understand that they can't have a conversation at the moment. But of course everyone is different

[ThisDudeHere]

Agreed.

[cutestboyever]

I work at home, covered in grease (don't want to touch my phone) so I'll just hit the button to stop and totally forget being so busy. Sometimes I'll work until I notice its gotten dark and 730 by the time shower and dinner happens you really aren't focused on a phone.. at least some people don't glue their faces to a phone.

[JayFromEngland]

I don't really appreciate "busy" as an excuse. There is nothing wrong with being busy, it's totally fair. But I'd like a bit more openness - being so vague is just going to leave the person left our or unprioritised.

[pinkzoesbb]

I don’t think it’s an excuse at all. You are right. It doesn’t take that long to respond. Even to say hi can’t talk text later. I know in some situations texting back is impossible but, very few.

[TunisianDom93]

actually there are no situations where you can't text back.
In most situations when your work does not allow you to respond to texts. let's say you are a surgeon. the other person knows you are a surgeon. you know beforehand you have an operation that lasts hours and most important you turn off your phone in your case. so the sender will know that the message did not even reach your phone (no receipt confirmation) or the D did not appear on kik or the circle did not turn blue on facebook...

[pinkzoesbb]

I think if you text someone and they don’t respond within a reasonable amount of time. They don’t want to talk. It’s best not to deal with that kind of person. I don’t have many friends for a good reason I don’t have time. The ones I do have I make time for.

[Kutlwano]

Absolutely right.
People will text back because they want to and care.
We make time. You can't be busy but your last seen tells a different story.

[pinkzoesbb]

I’ve wasted to much time caring if I’ll be getting a text back. Some people aren’t worth it.

[TwinCKI]

Its not an excuse. If they really cared about you then they would try their best to respond to you at least sometime in the night. No one can be busy ALL day

[Anon85]

Well, if I'm out with friends or aquaintances it's a bit rude for me to keep pulling out my phone to text someone who isn't even there with me

[Matt_Dingus]

I can't text back when I'm driving or working with my hands or with a client or hanging off a ladder. I also need to think up a reply but I can't because I'm busy working or recovering from my day. I also likely have 75 other unopened texts to sort through, 300 unopened emails, a stack of unopened mail, and 45 notifications on my work project management app. I'll get to it when I clean the grease off my hands while I have a chance to sit and think for a minute.

[kitty71]

Totally agree with you it does not take taht much to at least say something like you wrote. Hey I can't get back to you at the moment I will text later or tomorrow, etc etc

[ATuairiscean]

It falls into the depends category - Couple of hours is valid - Couple of days you are being binned off.

[Z-Spark]

No, no one is that busy even trump is not that busy shit it takes like 2 seconds

[Eridan]

It's a good excuse for not texting back in a metter or minutes or hours, not longer. Some of us can't be on their phones 24/7