What are the differences between clingy and caring?

[Anonymous]

Are clingy girls a really big turn off? How quickly would you drop her if she was clingy?

[thatguyfromtoronto]

Honestly, I think we misconstrue what clingy means, in this day and age it seems like people just want to have 1-night stands, flings and etc. I think we have become a very heartless, superficial society and many people nowadays can't commit to a marriage when two people have dated for x-number of years or saying shit like, well this is my "partner", not this my girlfriend or wife and vice versa and take pride by saying that.

I have discontinued speaking to many, many guy friends that I was close to back in my elementary, high school and university days because they are married and 95% of their time is spent with their wives. Yes, everyone needs space, but if someone is special to you, you want to spend your time with them, through the good times and bad times. It's like a sports team, if you go through the bad of a small losing streak will you break and falter or will you work things out and become stronger?

But if I had to compare the two, clingy is like if you go out 1 night with the guys and the girl says why are you going out! Stay homeeee! Caring is more like, hey, you're sick, let me take care of you. But again, if someone says stay home that is a caring thought as well, right? Just my input.

[Anonymous]

Caring equals taking care of you. Sometimes that's sweet things, sometimes it's not. Example of sweet things: being given gloves that match my style in the winter. Examples of not so sweet things: being stopped from drinking too much.
Clingy equals not allowing one's partner or friend to exist without you, experienced examples: A male friend expected me to be with him doing what he wanted (usually drinking) whenever we weren't in class and he had no girl to meet, was actually irritated when I wanted to go to church rather than drink with him. Example 2: a lady (who wanted to be 'friends') dragged out our meeting until the very last train home I could take, with no regard for the fact I had to go to class at 9 the next day.

In short: caring is for the cared persons benefit, clingy is for the clinger's benefit.

[Poppykate]

I have done the example 2. I am sorry on the lady's behalf. She just adored you and want to spead as much time as possible getting to know you. 😘

[lumos]

Clingy = being pushy, not letting your partner have any space, being intrusive, bombarding them with texts and calls, asking too many questions that don't matter, literally clinging on to your partner both privately and in public.

Being caring = knowing and respecting your partner's space, wanting the best for them, making sure they're ok, showing your love in appropriate amounts (there's a time and a place for everything), being independent and letting your partner be independent too.

[nakesia]

In my opinion clingy is always wanting to know where the person is at all times, what they are doing, calling them every five to ten minutes. Sometimes wanting to know who they are with. When you need to be with them too much and text them a lot talking about I love you. It's not that much love in the world. Then in two months they are broken up. If you care about someone you can give them some space. You can't keep a choke hold on someone. People have to breathe.

[ChronicThinker]

Clingy is when you literally latch onto someone; if they don't text you, you flip out; if they wanna hang out with friends, you get insecure; if they have friends of the opposite sex, you lose your shit because you assume they're fucking them all; if they essentially don't do EVERYTHING with you, you feel emotional or left out. Caring is... uh... caring...

[widdershins_]

Clingy- is more about that person needing their insecurities sotohed.
Caring- is about them seeing to your needs/wants.

Clingy people care more for their insecurities than for their partner's boundaries.

[PrincessPie]

Caring is you care about them, checking they're okay taking there needs into account.
Clingy is "its been 1min and you still have not text me back where are you?"

[BCRanger10]

Caring means that you're concerned about someone's health and general well-being, that you have an attachment to them, and you want to be around them. Being clingy means you're obsessed with them and you feel threatened if you don't know where they are every minute of every day.

Case in point, a few weeks ago, my girlfriend drove home from my house. She usually calls or texts me to let me know she made it back okay. This time, she didn't. I got a bit worried because I used to work with a guy who's girlfriend had recently been killed in a car wreck. I told her about it and she's been consistent with letting me know ever since. That's caring.

However, if I was expecting her to call or text me at every stoplight or traffic jam, that would be another story.

[robske]

there is this fine line between clingy and caring.

If you like text during his day, how he's doing, or what he's up to, thats caring.
if you text him every 30 minutes to figure out what he's up to, thats clingy.

its a turn on to have a caring girl who cares about me, but if she constantly wants to know where i am, with who, what time i'll be off work and what we could do afterwards, that becomes clingy and claiming.

if i tell her i'm going to see my neice and she's super insecure about it, thats a turn off.

[kitty71]

SO it is n ot clingy if u get in touch with the guy every 2 or 3 weeks? Because a girl can asume taht texting him like each week can be clingy and the guy may not even like it each week.

[robske]

Every week is not clingy, whatever capacity your in with him/her
Ever half our is

[madhatters4]

caring is just being concerned with a person's well being.
example... not wanting a boyfriend or girlfriend to go to a bar because you are concerned about the neighborhood it is in not being safe

clingy is doing things based on insecurity you have. example... not wanting a boyfriend or girlfriend to go to a bar because you are afraid people will hit on them or think they will cheat

[Poppykate]

Yeah, or at least take a couple of good friends if you want to visit a bikers bar in a rough neighbourhood! 😉

[yaanis]

@Poppykate or just dont say anything and go. And bikers aren't all bad, most of them are rude but will help you out if ur in troble. And they are friendly bunch of guys, sometimes some ammaizing girls to.

[cookie_monster007]

Clingy-- it is the feeling areises when a person have trust issues with the S/O and you need to check each and every movement of them to make sure he doesn't fall for anyone else. So you call them every 5 minutes or ask them who were they with and so on

CARING.-- A caring person is the one who understands the S/O's needs and desires and giving them unexpectedly and making them. happy by your efforts (clingy persons make them furious btw). For example. Understanding that your S/O doesn't fall to anyone else because she is already my girlfriend. So give them some space to talk to other boys or people in general (they don't fall in love with anyone who talks to them for the first time. Then why are you her BF?) Or hug or kiss them when they didn't expect you to (ok I made this up. haha)

[Anonymous]

I've dated a clingy girl and it was a fight every time I said hi to another girl I was simply friends with but that was in HS and it has drama brewing to begin with. After going through college and now in the professional world it would be a "where are you" text when im 5 minutes later then usual or being asked what my schedule is daily so she expects me home at a certain time and if I'm not there she resides he'll. Caring is at least giving one a chance to explain why I'm a little later then usual.

[rjroy3]

Short example:

Caring person is concerned about the well being and happiness of the other.

Clingy person NEEDS to be present at all times or have their attention, even when not in the room.

A caring girlfriend can say, "have fun with your friends".

A needy girlfriend randomly shows up everytime and when she can't do so requires you to be texting her the whole time while you're out. They want your life to be "our life" in every aspect.

[Dsg1169]

This is just my take on the topic. If someone is generally clingy, they will probably eventually realize that they are annoying their partners. If they continue to act overbearing even though they know it is annoying and act insecure in any sort of interaction, that is what i'd considered to clingy. Caring is showing some sort of compassion or concern for someone. That may not be classified as being "clingy".

[Belorum]

I think if you consider someone clingy or not is depending on how much space you want for yourself. My ex boyfriend called me clingy because I wanted to see him about 2-3 times a week and wanted at least a message a day... for my current boyfriend that wouldn't be enough at all, we see and text eachother daily (also live together by now).
Caring on the other hand is... dunno, do favors for your partner, wanting him to feel good and be happy etc... 😅

[HGG3805]

When you cross the line of being too clingy that can be a problem. Guys like a girlfriend who does girlfriend things. But there is a line of wanting too much of a guy's time. How much is too much? Depends on the guy and the situation. Caring is not being clingy.

[TheUglyMonk]

You can text everyday, talk for a few hours everyday if you both have time and not be clingy.

"His free and I'm free so we both have time to talk" vs "I want to talk to him even if he is in the middle of work and I want to know where he goes after work, I want to know it all"

[HappyHufflepuff]

Hell, I've dropped several friends for being clingy. It's right up there with jealousy. It's suffocating and extremely irritating, in anyone regardless of the type of relationship.

[TripleAce]

Clingy is not giving him his space
Caring is for example being there for him when he doesn't even know he needs it

They are completely two different things

Yes clingy is not fun and most often a turn off

[bente2]

Clingy:
-other word is needy.
-they are constantly with you or want to be, check in on you too much etc etc.

Caring:
-other word is nurturing.
-they send you texts or call you to make sure you’re ok, you got home.. etc

[TuMeManques]

Caring is when they have your best interest at heart. Clingy is when they ultimately have their best interest or the ability to be in control at heart.

[Iamaguy4real]

Clingy is when someone constantly checks up on you.

Caring is when they check up on you because they want to see how You're doing.

[JSmuve]

Caring is she cares about her
Clingy is she is overly dependent on them

You can care about someone without suffocating them with your dependence on them.

[SarahsSummer]

I would only be in a relationship with someone who cares but never with someone who smothered me.

[Sara413]

Clingy is possessive and insecure.
Caring is just showing someone that they matter to you.

[Anonymous]

Its not a huge turn off per say, but I can be slightly overwhelming because for example my girlfriend is kinda clingly and I can't have a decent convo going without being text 5 to 10 times in a row