I read your updates and in the US it’s mainly used for hookups but A LOT of guys I’ve talked to on there say that they’re seeing where things go & open to relationships. But honestly when on tinder I’ve dealt with that issue too. You get better results when you match with a ton of people and at least have small talk with several people. As many as you can basically. More people, more opportunities. I then end up with two guys I’m into
Don't take it personal, it happens, I would say it wasn't meant to be lol and also to the update, don't think that way, no matter how often you would have talked or how far you would have got with the conversation, if it would be someone who is really interested, he would still text with you
Bullshit. People are just drowning in seeming opportunities and too blindsided to know the difference with possibilities. It's all gray area. No one's up front. Everyone's hiding. Of course people will give up if your mask has percieved them to being rejected forever. It's all fucked. Be absolutely honest. No holdback, no stringing eachother on secretely hoping smth better will come along. If you want something than communicate it as such. You won't scare the guy off, clarity is what he actually wants. And stop backhanding eachother, it's destroying and dividing us as a species. 'oh that' s not your fault at all he's just a dick' or 'yeah whatever bro, you didn' t do anything she's just a crazy bitch'. Look at your faults and improve upon them
Chill lol, I didn't said it's a guys fault, but when you show interest and the guy doesn't, then why spend your time chasing someone who doesn't want you. Then better just let it be and go out and search for someone else who might also want you and who might also want to talk or chat with you, cause she clearly wanted to text and showed it
First of all I wanna know, what are you looking to get out of tinder?
Don’t worry that happens to me too, what happens is they simply match with someone that they find more attractive than you. It happens, I don’t let that get the best of me and I move on
I thought that just happened to me! You get a match and then break the ice with short introductions. Then after about 2 messages, nothing. Total ghosting each and every time. And my messages have been brief and friendly. Just wish people would not swipe 'like' on me if they have no intent to communicate. Why waste my time? smh.
Hey! Well... I haven't exactly done what I'm about to tell you to try ahah, but we'll work on it together! When I match with someone I like on Tinder, I will chat with them for a few (4/5) days... Often those few days are enough to tell if they're interested or not I find. THEN... I guess the only thing to do after that to keep anything going, is to meet up! 🙂 best of luck!
tinder is a hook up app, plus i noticed that when you match women don’t really reply , makes me feel like they just wanted attention, so guys dont give a fuck anymore and just want to smash if you want to talk and have meaningful conversations goto pof or match. com i dunno
My experience of online dating is girls are incapable of conversation. Never any questions back or extremely basic replies to any questions I ask so I give up the chase and stop bothering. On top of this, online dating is extremely different for a woman than it is a man. The women can afford to be extremely picky as they have a plethora of options where as the guys have to chase hard and really sell themselves.
As sexist as your thing sounds, that's my general experience too. I mean, what do you expect if all you ever reply is 'yeah' 'haha no' or 'hm I don't know lol'. To relativitize: I have no idea whatsoever about what it's like dating now as a girl. All the masses of shitpeople you plow through, trying to get you to touch their dick or watch them touch their dick. Still, if you really want something to go forward, conversate like this guy above me says. Be or at least act interested. Your pussy is not a gift from the gods, this shit goes both ways. Talk but mostly, ask ffs
As sexist as your thing sounds, that's my general experience too. I mean, what do you expect if all you ever reply is 'yeah' 'haha no' or 'hm I don't know lol'. To relativitize: I have no idea whatsoever about what it's like dating now as a girl. All the masses of shitpeople you plow through, trying to get you to touch their dick or watch them touch their dick. Still, if you really want something to go forward, conversate like this guy above me says. Be or at least act interested. Your pussy is not a gift from the gods, this shit goes both ways. Talk but mostly, ask ffs
If you're talking for a few WEEKS without anything happening, chances are they have other girls who DID make something happen. If those don't lead anywhere they'll probably fire you a message again soon.
3
0 Reply
Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
''I had a conversation going with both of these guys for a few weeks.''
Why would a guy spend his precious time chatting shirt for 2 weeks? I can't think of a bigger waste of time.
You get to know them, meet them and then see where it goes from there. It's hitting a dead end because no one is meeting up.
It happens, I’m still new with the online dating.. but usually if I chat with someone through tinder for more than 2 weeks.. usually it does end pretty quick.. but for me as a guy I get lucky and arrange a meet up within a week or even a number. I tried to be as real as possible so I tend to notice women hates nice guys. Maybe the guys didn’t wanna be pushy and just gave you space.
Use OkCupid would be my suggestion. It's more for people seeking relationships and the people on it from my experience have been nice. Also try moving the conversation to texting directly or whatsapp. Something that requires their number. It shows that you're closer than others from an online dating point of view.
I haven't had any luck with pof and I don't really like the UI as much as OkCupid so I'm pretty biased. Pof was the first dating site/app I started using and stayed on for years with no luck lol.
Hey I think dating apps are counter productive, the other thing you need to figure out is how many emails do you make before you meet. These fellas may be dating three different girls and talking to you, they may have stopped messaging because they are going to get serious with one of them, and you missed your chance.
Well look if you keep trying the same thing like use the same method on same guys and it's not working... it just not gonna work lol so try to change your style but keep your standards just use different methods of texting and good luck lol but trust me nothing better than finding someone irl.
It's like using the same pattern over and over and you expect to work, ok let me give you an example you start with hey how are you how's your day... stuff like that and the same thing you keep doing for everyone. Back then i used to go to nyc subways and ask girls out by saying (i was practicing didn't really care if i got rejected) you look beautiful wanna go out literally tried over 200 women and didn't work i was like what's wrong with me and then i asked for some help and they usually say just be authentic start with something different and it started to work specially this line 'do you like horses' i usually get a number or date with it lol the point is try to be as authentic as possible so if someone talked to you they just can't forget how special you are and they'll make sure to get in touch with you!!!
For me it's the couple weeks statement that raises a flag. I am single also and also on tinder. I'll chat on tinder for a week unless the conversation is great then I'll ask for a number or suggest snapchat sooner.
In that week i know if I am interested or not and also if they are as well. If your dragging conversations out on tinder, they may see it as your not interested.
If it so difficult to read a message on a lunch break, smoke break, while using the bathroom. He had Time to read it, he could have respond at a reasonable time.
You need to cast your net a lot wider on tinder. I wasn't looking for a hookup and discovered most guys on there just wanted sex. I was talking to more then 5 guys at a time, as most guys I talked to, I never went out w/.
I also have this issue. Most of the time before i would sometimes get shy or negitive talk my way out. Now I'm working on getting better and its a learning curve the game of attraction. I used to think no one would find me interesting. I even got to experience the reverse side dealing with girls that are more insecure than i even was. I laugh about it now but i used to get really worked up and lose it. It'll get better keep an open mind but take care of you first.
Regardless of where you are, tinder is designed to be for hookups.
If you take too long, then the guy you are txting will find another girl to have sex with.
If you want a relationship, find a site designed for relationships.
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
Perhaps it's different in finland (and i'm told tinder is a little less hookup focused in Europe than north America) ... but...
it seems to me like you're keeping conversation going but that's not the goal? The guys shouldn't ghost, but for whatever reason I think they are giving up on it actually going somewhere. THe point is to meet, whether its dating or hooking up.
There are some people who are more interested in chatting in the evening, then they are in the morning. Maybe these guys were one of them, and decided to drop it, because you just weren't interested in chatting, at the same time they were. Or maybe they just lost interest. If you really are that curious as to why the aren't answering, then you should ask them about it. You could also take it as a sign to move on.
Uts simple you're young and cute and men use tinder mainly for sex... so when you give the "i want to get know you more and maybe have something meaningful" vibe they lose interest... shit i ignore girls i see often if they want something and i want something else
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
143Opinion
I read your updates and in the US it’s mainly used for hookups but A LOT of guys I’ve talked to on there say that they’re seeing where things go & open to relationships. But honestly when on tinder I’ve dealt with that issue too. You get better results when you match with a ton of people and at least have small talk with several people. As many as you can basically. More people, more opportunities. I then end up with two guys I’m into
Don't take it personal, it happens, I would say it wasn't meant to be lol and also to the update, don't think that way, no matter how often you would have talked or how far you would have got with the conversation, if it would be someone who is really interested, he would still text with you
Bullshit. People are just drowning in seeming opportunities and too blindsided to know the difference with possibilities. It's all gray area. No one's up front. Everyone's hiding. Of course people will give up if your mask has percieved them to being rejected forever.
It's all fucked. Be absolutely honest. No holdback, no stringing eachother on secretely hoping smth better will come along. If you want something than communicate it as such. You won't scare the guy off, clarity is what he actually wants.
And stop backhanding eachother, it's destroying and dividing us as a species. 'oh that' s not your fault at all he's just a dick' or 'yeah whatever bro, you didn' t do anything she's just a crazy bitch'.
Look at your faults and improve upon them
Chill lol, I didn't said it's a guys fault, but when you show interest and the guy doesn't, then why spend your time chasing someone who doesn't want you. Then better just let it be and go out and search for someone else who might also want you and who might also want to talk or chat with you, cause she clearly wanted to text and showed it
First of all I wanna know, what are you looking to get out of tinder?
Don’t worry that happens to me too, what happens is they simply match with someone that they find more attractive than you. It happens, I don’t let that get the best of me and I move on
I think the fact that I don't know what I want is part of the problem.
You’ll be fine
You'll be fine as in I'll figure out what I want? Because I really hope so
Just don’t stress it
I thought that just happened to me! You get a match and then break the ice with short introductions. Then after about 2 messages, nothing. Total ghosting each and every time. And my messages have been brief and friendly. Just wish people would not swipe 'like' on me if they have no intent to communicate. Why waste my time? smh.
Hey! Well... I haven't exactly done what I'm about to tell you to try ahah, but we'll work on it together! When I match with someone I like on Tinder, I will chat with them for a few (4/5) days... Often those few days are enough to tell if they're interested or not I find. THEN... I guess the only thing to do after that to keep anything going, is to meet up! 🙂 best of luck!
tinder is a hook up app, plus i noticed that when you match women don’t really reply , makes me feel like they just wanted attention, so guys dont give a fuck anymore and just want to smash if you want to talk and have meaningful conversations goto pof or match. com i dunno
My experience of online dating is girls are incapable of conversation. Never any questions back or extremely basic replies to any questions I ask so I give up the chase and stop bothering. On top of this, online dating is extremely different for a woman than it is a man. The women can afford to be extremely picky as they have a plethora of options where as the guys have to chase hard and really sell themselves.
As sexist as your thing sounds, that's my general experience too. I mean, what do you expect if all you ever reply is 'yeah' 'haha no' or 'hm I don't know lol'.
To relativitize: I have no idea whatsoever about what it's like dating now as a girl. All the masses of shitpeople you plow through, trying to get you to touch their dick or watch them touch their dick. Still, if you really want something to go forward, conversate like this guy above me says. Be or at least act interested. Your pussy is not a gift from the gods, this shit goes both ways. Talk but mostly, ask ffs
As sexist as your thing sounds, that's my general experience too. I mean, what do you expect if all you ever reply is 'yeah' 'haha no' or 'hm I don't know lol'.
To relativitize: I have no idea whatsoever about what it's like dating now as a girl. All the masses of shitpeople you plow through, trying to get you to touch their dick or watch them touch their dick. Still, if you really want something to go forward, conversate like this guy above me says. Be or at least act interested. Your pussy is not a gift from the gods, this shit goes both ways. Talk but mostly, ask ffs
If you're talking for a few WEEKS without anything happening, chances are they have other girls who DID make something happen. If those don't lead anywhere they'll probably fire you a message again soon.
''I had a conversation going with both of these guys for a few weeks.''
Why would a guy spend his precious time chatting shirt for 2 weeks? I can't think of a bigger waste of time.
You get to know them, meet them and then see where it goes from there. It's hitting a dead end because no one is meeting up.
It happens, I’m still new with the online dating.. but usually if I chat with someone through tinder for more than 2 weeks.. usually it does end pretty quick.. but for me as a guy I get lucky and arrange a meet up within a week or even a number. I tried to be as real as possible so I tend to notice women hates nice guys. Maybe the guys didn’t wanna be pushy and just gave you space.
Use OkCupid would be my suggestion. It's more for people seeking relationships and the people on it from my experience have been nice. Also try moving the conversation to texting directly or whatsapp. Something that requires their number. It shows that you're closer than others from an online dating point of view.
How about POF
I haven't had any luck with pof and I don't really like the UI as much as OkCupid so I'm pretty biased. Pof was the first dating site/app I started using and stayed on for years with no luck lol.
I guess everyone is different I saw plenty woman on blind dates in POF. I also had blind dates on Craigslist. Lol don't ask why
I would never touch Craigslist. That's some sketchy stuff.
Hey I think dating apps are counter productive, the other thing you need to figure out is how many emails do you make before you meet. These fellas may be dating three different girls and talking to you, they may have stopped messaging because they are going to get serious with one of them, and you missed your chance.
Well look if you keep trying the same thing like use the same method on same guys and it's not working... it just not gonna work lol so try to change your style but keep your standards just use different methods of texting and good luck lol but trust me nothing better than finding someone irl.
What exactly do you mean by different methods of texting?
It's like using the same pattern over and over and you expect to work, ok let me give you an example you start with hey how are you how's your day... stuff like that and the same thing you keep doing for everyone. Back then i used to go to nyc subways and ask girls out by saying (i was practicing didn't really care if i got rejected) you look beautiful wanna go out literally tried over 200 women and didn't work i was like what's wrong with me and then i asked for some help and they usually say just be authentic start with something different and it started to work specially this line 'do you like horses' i usually get a number or date with it lol the point is try to be as authentic as possible so if someone talked to you they just can't forget how special you are and they'll make sure to get in touch with you!!!
I guess I should try the "Hey, how are you?" approach since what I'm doing now doesn't seem to be working.
Or just ask if they like horses and you'll thank me later. lol
Good luck!
For me it's the couple weeks statement that raises a flag. I am single also and also on tinder. I'll chat on tinder for a week unless the conversation is great then I'll ask for a number or suggest snapchat sooner.
In that week i know if I am interested or not and also if they are as well. If your dragging conversations out on tinder, they may see it as your not interested.
If it so difficult to read a message on a lunch break, smoke break, while using the bathroom. He had Time to read it, he could have respond at a reasonable time.
So him not responding during the day would be an indication of lack of interest? In his defense, though, I go to bed pretty early. 😅
You need to cast your net a lot wider on tinder. I wasn't looking for a hookup and discovered most guys on there just wanted sex. I was talking to more then 5 guys at a time, as most guys I talked to, I never went out w/.
Were you looking for something more serious? :D
@Gramer I was, there were plenty of guys who were honest and then there were ones who tried to trick me into sex.
You mean like pretend to be serious but their intention were only sex?
@Gramer yeah
There are a lot of guys like that. Unfortunately they can't be honest about it, at least they won't hurt the other person this way, right?
@Gramer I guess.
Yea but it's unusual! Do you want to follow me by the way? :P
I also have this issue. Most of the time before i would sometimes get shy or negitive talk my way out. Now I'm working on getting better and its a learning curve the game of attraction. I used to think no one would find me interesting. I even got to experience the reverse side dealing with girls that are more insecure than i even was. I laugh about it now but i used to get really worked up and lose it. It'll get better keep an open mind but take care of you first.
Regardless of where you are, tinder is designed to be for hookups.
If you take too long, then the guy you are txting will find another girl to have sex with.
If you want a relationship, find a site designed for relationships.
Perhaps it's different in finland (and i'm told tinder is a little less hookup focused in Europe than north America) ... but...
it seems to me like you're keeping conversation going but that's not the goal? The guys shouldn't ghost, but for whatever reason I think they are giving up on it actually going somewhere. THe point is to meet, whether its dating or hooking up.
There are some people who are more interested in chatting in the evening, then they are in the morning. Maybe these guys were one of them, and decided to drop it, because you just weren't interested in chatting, at the same time they were. Or maybe they just lost interest.
If you really are that curious as to why the aren't answering, then you should ask them about it. You could also take it as a sign to move on.
Uts simple you're young and cute and men use tinder mainly for sex... so when you give the "i want to get know you more and maybe have something meaningful" vibe they lose interest... shit i ignore girls i see often if they want something and i want something else