Just from experience, I would advise against it, but that's just advice. If you like him that much you may as well go for it. I have a mate who is dating one of my ex's and it really bothers me. It would maybe bother me less if he had bothered to talk to me about it though, but he never did. So like a lot of what other people are saying here, I'd recommend just talking to your friend about it before she suddenly finds out one day that you two are dating or something.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Mostly no, cause you don't touch the guy of your friends, even if they only used to text, like thats our rule but yes it can be okay, if you are being clear about it with your friend and ask them kinda for permission, if your friend is totally over and she and her ex would still be in a friendly manner and she 100000% wouldn't bother, you can try. Honesty ist very important, you and your friend can not lie about what you guys want and she must be honest about if she is totally over and oke with you both dating
First of all think about the relationship between you and your friend. If you fell as it's going to stay same after dating. Second thing what if he is good at flirting and stop caring about you later? Better you get to know about him completely and check with your friend before you go further.
One, depends on how close you and the friend are? Two, as long as the two of you are honest and talk to her first it should work itself out. If she's your BFF, you really should let her know that you two are communicating because if she finds out from him or someone else or in any other way she's going to feel betrayed by you.
1
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Asker
+1 y
She already knows we still text. When she told me they broke up, she said it was fine if we continue texting. A bunch of her other friends also text him.
Are you fucking kidding me? Girl hear this from another girl !!! This can go so many ways 1. He would honestly love you 2. If he’s obsessed with your friend , he would use you to know what she’s doing 3. He just wannna fuck her best friend (you) to show who’s boss... 4. If the reason they broke up was his fault , he might do it AGAIN
Well you have to take into account who broke up with who. If he broke up with her than that would kinda be against girl code (unless you asked her for permission) but if she broke up with him than he's all yours. Also you were friends with him first before being friends with his now ex. So i would say take your time and go for it if the opportunity arises
I personally feel it all depends on the break up and your friendship with your friend as well as her feelings towards you dating someone who she had history with. An ex I dated was actually an ex of a good friend of mine who actually gave me the green light once she took notice that her ex and I were developing chemistry between one another.
I think it can work and I see that because I'm currently in a relationship with my best friend's ex-husband and they are divorced for 5 years now so as long as the other two are and good relations with each other like on friendly terms and everybody's okay with it I don't see why it wouldn't work communication is key
cause if you're really close to her and you truthfully tell her whats going on, it could work! its better to let her know than to keep her out of it yknow? if theyve been broken up for a while, then there's really no reason as to why you shouldn't pursue him. talk to her, tell her how you feel. she'll appreciate you being honest with her and coming to her first.
besides, what friend doesn't want her friends to be happy? is she a true friend?
Only if your friend gives you permission first. Even then, it could still go wrong. I dated an ex's best friend after a break up. The ex gave his blessing and then proceeded to pitch a fit witin a week causing us to break up. The funny thing is that the ex and I broke up, because he was flirting with my best friend too much and always on the phone with her and hanging out with her! It just depends on who you are dealing with. If you like him that much, I would try for it though.
You could talk to your friend about it and ask her to be completely honest, if she says she’s completely fine with it then sure. But i know I wouldn’t like my friend to date my ex, it would hurt even though I’m mostly over him. So it just depends how she is as a person and if she’s completely over him.
Honestly, I think that the choice is up to your ex. I wouldn't want to ruin their friendship, if I were you.
Actually, my boyfriend is the bestfriend of one of my ex-boyfriends. The difference to your situation is though that I'm still pretty good friends with my ex since years and he was even the one to encourage his bestfriend to hit on me.
If she's not over them it's definitely going to create conflict so I'd consider holding off unless you believe value of the potential relationship to be higher than your friendship, waiting several months runs the risk of the guy meeting someone else after all. I've been in this situation myself and it's not an easy one so you really do have to ask yourself is he worth losing a friend over?
My question is why did you friend and her ex break up in the first place. Who was at fault. If it was him, would he do the same to you. Would you lose a friend, who is more important, your friend or her ex. I personally would never date a friends ex. There is to much history between the two, and it maybe drama that i do no want a piece of. My friends are my other family. We have been to war and back, no one can break our bond but us.
Good luck
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Asker
+1 y
Thanks for the luck. He broke up with her. I wasn’t given all the details but the just if it was that she was being selfish and didn’t care what was happening in his life. She made everything about her
Keep in mind that is his side of the story. I've dated guys that acted like their exs were horrible but the guys werent great. If you care about the friend then you'll talk to them first and see how that talk goes and deal with the situation from there
I really don't think it's a good idea. There are probably situations and circumstances where it would be fine, where the friend would be fine with it, but rare. If my boyfriend and I ever broke up (I hope never, I love him), and a friend tried to get with him even years later, it would really hurt me and I'd feel betrayed.
B and S and I were all friends, but they were dating. B cheated on S with Z so they broke up. S and I started talking, and B started dating Z, meanwhile, S and I formally started dating. After some time, Z cheated on B. After that, S cheated on me with B. Long story short, he cheated on me with his ex, which used to be my friend.
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2 Reply
Asker
+1 y
I would never get into a relationship with someone who cheated on someone else. I would feel as thorough he will never be loyal
Talk to your friend first. I used to have a friend that had dated 2 of my exes and I had zero problem with either of those. I had a problem when he knew I was trying to work things out with the third ex and the fact that he used our friendship as a means to get to her. Needless to say we are not nor will ever again be friends
The facts of life right here. Sorry for you loss, but if some pussy was all it took to end it, then his friendship was never worth having. Not everybody will do that to you, so don't let it get you down or make you resent yourself for trusting him... F'k them.
Me and my best friend swopped girlfriends but inorder for that to happen you need to know both sides I'd say your best friend would probably have noticed you like him if you really did... But by all means as long as you confront your best friend before it and not when she is still hurt about it
Why not... life is too short for this petty high school bull crap... and you seem like your in high school!! But yeah, if they have a problem then they are trash friends... I can careless if my friend dates my ex... as long as I’m done and over them, they can have them! They are an ex for a reason.
I was once that next guy. To me it was no problem, cause 'their' story was over. It caused no troubles between me and my male friend, although he was irritated at first. My (our) relationship went well. Did not last, though - but for unrelated reasons.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
110Opinion
Just from experience, I would advise against it, but that's just advice. If you like him that much you may as well go for it.
I have a mate who is dating one of my ex's and it really bothers me. It would maybe bother me less if he had bothered to talk to me about it though, but he never did. So like a lot of what other people are saying here, I'd recommend just talking to your friend about it before she suddenly finds out one day that you two are dating or something.
Mostly no, cause you don't touch the guy of your friends, even if they only used to text, like thats our rule but yes it can be okay, if you are being clear about it with your friend and ask them kinda for permission, if your friend is totally over and she and her ex would still be in a friendly manner and she 100000% wouldn't bother, you can try. Honesty ist very important, you and your friend can not lie about what you guys want and she must be honest about if she is totally over and oke with you both dating
First of all think about the relationship between you and your friend. If you fell as it's going to stay same after dating. Second thing what if he is good at flirting and stop caring about you later? Better you get to know about him completely and check with your friend before you go further.
One, depends on how close you and the friend are? Two, as long as the two of you are honest and talk to her first it should work itself out. If she's your BFF, you really should let her know that you two are communicating because if she finds out from him or someone else or in any other way she's going to feel betrayed by you.
She already knows we still text. When she told me they broke up, she said it was fine if we continue texting. A bunch of her other friends also text him.
Well she'll probably be ok with you two getting together, just give her more time.
Are you fucking kidding me? Girl hear this from another girl !!! This can go so many ways
1. He would honestly love you
2. If he’s obsessed with your friend , he would use you to know what she’s doing
3. He just wannna fuck her best friend (you) to show who’s boss...
4. If the reason they broke up was his fault , he might do it AGAIN
SO THING FROM YOUR BRAIN NO OFFENCE
Well you have to take into account who broke up with who. If he broke up with her than that would kinda be against girl code (unless you asked her for permission) but if she broke up with him than he's all yours. Also you were friends with him first before being friends with his now ex. So i would say take your time and go for it if the opportunity arises
I personally feel it all depends on the break up and your friendship with your friend as well as her feelings towards you dating someone who she had history with. An ex I dated was actually an ex of a good friend of mine who actually gave me the green light once she took notice that her ex and I were developing chemistry between one another.
I think it can work and I see that because I'm currently in a relationship with my best friend's ex-husband and they are divorced for 5 years now so as long as the other two are and good relations with each other like on friendly terms and everybody's okay with it I don't see why it wouldn't work communication is key
but like how close are you to your friend?
cause if you're really close to her and you truthfully tell her whats going on, it could work! its better to let her know than to keep her out of it yknow? if theyve been broken up for a while, then there's really no reason as to why you shouldn't pursue him. talk to her, tell her how you feel. she'll appreciate you being honest with her and coming to her first.
besides, what friend doesn't want her friends to be happy? is she a true friend?
Only if your friend gives you permission first. Even then, it could still go wrong. I dated an ex's best friend after a break up. The ex gave his blessing and then proceeded to pitch a fit witin a week causing us to break up. The funny thing is that the ex and I broke up, because he was flirting with my best friend too much and always on the phone with her and hanging out with her! It just depends on who you are dealing with. If you like him that much, I would try for it though.
You could talk to your friend about it and ask her to be completely honest, if she says she’s completely fine with it then sure. But i know I wouldn’t like my friend to date my ex, it would hurt even though I’m mostly over him. So it just depends how she is as a person and if she’s completely over him.
Honestly, I think that the choice is up to your ex. I wouldn't want to ruin their friendship, if I were you.
Actually, my boyfriend is the bestfriend of one of my ex-boyfriends. The difference to your situation is though that I'm still pretty good friends with my ex since years and he was even the one to encourage his bestfriend to hit on me.
If she's not over them it's definitely going to create conflict so I'd consider holding off unless you believe value of the potential relationship to be higher than your friendship, waiting several months runs the risk of the guy meeting someone else after all. I've been in this situation myself and it's not an easy one so you really do have to ask yourself is he worth losing a friend over?
My question is why did you friend and her ex break up in the first place. Who was at fault. If it was him, would he do the same to you. Would you lose a friend, who is more important, your friend or her ex. I personally would never date a friends ex. There is to much history between the two, and it maybe drama that i do no want a piece of. My friends are my other family. We have been to war and back, no one can break our bond but us.
Good luck
Thanks for the luck. He broke up with her. I wasn’t given all the details but the just if it was that she was being selfish and didn’t care what was happening in his life. She made everything about her
Well again it's about what you maybe losing to gain. Or talk to she about it see what she say.
Keep in mind that is his side of the story. I've dated guys that acted like their exs were horrible but the guys werent great.
If you care about the friend then you'll talk to them first and see how that talk goes and deal with the situation from there
I really don't think it's a good idea. There are probably situations and circumstances where it would be fine, where the friend would be fine with it, but rare. If my boyfriend and I ever broke up (I hope never, I love him), and a friend tried to get with him even years later, it would really hurt me and I'd feel betrayed.
B and S and I were all friends, but they were dating. B cheated on S with Z so they broke up. S and I started talking, and B started dating Z, meanwhile, S and I formally started dating. After some time, Z cheated on B. After that, S cheated on me with B. Long story short, he cheated on me with his ex, which used to be my friend.
I would never get into a relationship with someone who cheated on someone else. I would feel as thorough he will never be loyal
Yeah it sucks
Talk to your friend first. I used to have a friend that had dated 2 of my exes and I had zero problem with either of those. I had a problem when he knew I was trying to work things out with the third ex and the fact that he used our friendship as a means to get to her. Needless to say we are not nor will ever again be friends
The facts of life right here. Sorry for you loss, but if some pussy was all it took to end it, then his friendship was never worth having. Not everybody will do that to you, so don't let it get you down or make you resent yourself for trusting him... F'k them.
Yea that was my thought, I'll freely give trust but only once, if it's valued it will never be broken or lost
Exactly right
Me and my best friend swopped girlfriends but inorder for that to happen you need to know both sides I'd say your best friend would probably have noticed you like him if you really did... But by all means as long as you confront your best friend before it and not when she is still hurt about it
Why not... life is too short for this petty high school bull crap... and you seem like your in high school!! But yeah, if they have a problem then they are trash friends... I can careless if my friend dates my ex... as long as I’m done and over them, they can have them! They are an ex for a reason.
I was once that next guy. To me it was no problem, cause 'their' story was over. It caused no troubles between me and my male friend, although he was irritated at first. My (our) relationship went well. Did not last, though - but for unrelated reasons.