PLEASE HELP! Guy I wanted a relationship with ended up just being friends with benefits. He says I ruined my chance of being with him?

[Anonymous]

So I have had been friends with "Marco" for over a year. I never thought of him as anything more than a goofy friend, who would hit on me. Over the summer he helped me with an online computer class (for college). He was so patient and kind it made me see a different side of him. He would hit on me and make sexual comments but never acted on them. I wasn't interested. After some time of spend nearly everyday together doing homework watching movies and eating dinner. It eventually turned sexual and I was so repulsed that I had went there with him I would just leave. I told him this would never be anything more than sex and he agreed. Eventually I developed feelings for him. I started to get jealous of his female friends and feel insecure. I told him how I felt but he didn't exactly reciprocate. Eventually told me he kinda likes me to and he said we could work on a relationship. Months went by of us just "working on" getting into a relationship. It was very sexual. I would get tired of waiting for him to come to a decision. He would say he's not sure yet. Now fast forward 6 months he no longer wants to try and be in a relationship and we sill have sex and and he acts like a boyfriend at times with cuddling and spending time together. I feel like I do all the contacting and initiating plans. He rarely reaches out to me. He tells me this is never going to be what I want and I ruined it from the beginning with my jealousy and fighting with him. I've found old messages of him sexting another girl. i can't confirm they slept together. Im at a loss part of me is telling me he cares about me but doesn't want to give in. On the other hand he's showing me how he feels. I feel like he keeps me dangling and I need help and advice please. I know this may sound obvious to other people but its hard to see clearly when you are in this situation. I really love and care about him but I have no idea what to do. PLEASE HELP!!! Thank u

[hellacray]

I'm not reading that wall of text.

My question is why would you cheapen yourself by becoming a friends with benefits for this guy?

He doesn't want you as a lover so you'll settle for less and be his playtoy?

[Asker]

I'm not sure exactly. This is something I would normally never do but now I'm caught up. I agree with your statement. Its destroying me and I don't know how to move on.

[hellacray]

You can start by not seeing him anymore.

[Asker]

Ok I will do my best

[reptocarl]

Nothing will ever change so you have a decision. Shame on you for wasting so much time thinking he’ll change. People don’t change

[Asker]

I agree do you have any advice for how to let go and move on? Everytime I try I get so caught up and miss him. I know this isn't healthy

[reptocarl]

When you get sick enough of his bullshit you’ll leave for good

[Seth13]

Leave that toxic mess. If he doesn't want you now then he deosn t deserve u later

[Asker]

Its hard because I love him. He some how convinced me it's my fault. I will take the blame for yelling at him and fighting with him but its because he's not treating me right.

[Seth13]

You don't love him. You love the idea of him. Of having someone to connect with sexually and mentally. Don't waste a second on a guy who only values you as a sex toy. There are far too many guys who would do anything to have a girl to love. Move on babe he's toxic and if u have to come here for help that should be enough of a sign that's he's no good

[Asker]

thank you both! Im finding it extremely difficult to move on. I feel weak and stupid for letting myself be in this circumstance. I know I need to let him go. When I don't speak to him I miss him and want to see him. I find myself calling and texting him. I don't know how to break the habit

[Seth13]

Add me on Snapchat slim0014 I'll talk you through

[blkgold33]

You should move on forget about him

[Hungry_Shark]

Move on