Is she more important than me?

[Anonymous]

I'm dating this older guy, he is so f***ing cute too! before he met me he has known this other girl for like 4 years. He only knows her because she is my cousins best friend. He used to drive them to the movies and each others houses, football games etc. He calls her his daughter and texts her all the time, he says I love my baby, and calls her baby girl. She is 17 I am 19. He knows I don't like it. All he says is...shes is my daughter, (but she is not) and that she is always going to be my daughter. He acts like she I more important than me, he can't even say I am more important. There is nothing special about their relationship, they don't have a bond. I'm 19 and I live with him, I was 17 when we started dating. He brought her to the house yesterday., she asked me ..Why does me want me to see his apt? she went off on me for no reason at all. she was mad and sent me rude messages because I was not hanging out with her at the fair, I was hanging out with my cousin...she is the one who walked off. I told my fiance, he said nothing. she said she wants nothing to do with me. But yet...he is bringing her to the football game Saturday when he knows what she said to me and what is going on between us. I told him how I felt about that and he told me that I can go with my cousin. HE IS M FIANCE! SHE IS NOT HIS FAMILY SHE IS NOT IS BLOOD. HE JUST CALLS HER HIS DAUGHTER BECAUSE HE SAID HE AS KNOWN HER FOR 4 YEARS. HE HAS KNOWN ME FOR ALMOST 4 YEARS. TOO! I asked him if I were more important...all he says is you are both important, he can't even say that I am! It makes me feel real uncomfortable.

She only comes around when she needs something, wants to be dropped off somewhere or wants to go somewhere.My fiance and I have been through so much together, all the emotions and feelings me and him. We have a tight bond. But less important? she also calls him daddy..in his phone he has her as daddy's girl

[acubed25]

You're both being immature. Why would you want to keep him from someone he cares about? Have you ever thought that maybe he always wanted to be a dad and taking care of her is his way of fulfilling that desire while he waits to begin a family of his own? Whatever the reason for their bond you only stand to jeopordize your relationship with him if you try to force him to choose. You need to be the bigger person and talk to the girl. Let her know that you care about this man deeply and you want him to be happy, if that means she's a major part of his life then so be it. But you need to make peace with her and realize that there doesn't have to be a conflict over who is more important. If he struggles to maintain a balance between showing you attention and spending time with her that is something you can calmly ask him about. Don't attack him or her but come to them logically and kindly and then you may be able to come to a solution that works for everyone.

[digital_haze]

Some people just have odd relationships with other people. You just gotta accept that this person is an important person in his life. As long as they aren't doing anything inappropriate, then leave it be. She's obviously very important to him, its really not cool to make people choose between people no matter how much you don't like them or you think they should. Let him have this and don't let it bother you.

[Trihill]

i'd say she's trouble for you

[Asker]

What do you mean by that?

[Trihill]

She becomes a part of your family, which right now seems okay, but might grow into other things down the road in terms of time, money, emotions, etc..do you have room for the two of you or what about your own children?