He unmatched me on tinder after our date, bad news?

[Anonymous]

so i was talking to this guy on tinder for a few days and we went out last night and it was a really good time, i texted him this morning about something that related to last night and he replied, we had a good brief convo and then i asked him what he was doing Sunday night because i had a few friends coming over and if he wanted to join us for a game night, he said he had some things to do but would def try and come by, anyways after that he said he had to go to this class he's taking (which we talked about earlier, so it;s not an excuse to not text) and that he would text me after and i said ok cool, but now its been 2 and a half hrs since that text, I don't know how long the class is but i don't think it's that long and when i went to go back and just look at his tinder, i couldn't find him? and i was literally looking at it on the way home last night? so is this a bad sign? did i come on too strong because i texted first and asked him to hang out with friends? did he unmatch me because he lost interest?

Updates

+1 y

I also forgot to add that we talked on the phone for hours (literally 3 the first time and then an hour or so the second time) before we met up, so he had a better idea of what he was getting i guess? and throughout the date we were both laughing and smiling so i thought it went well? also i prefaced the asking him to hang out with letting him know that it was ok for him to say no and that I would understand if he wasn't comfortable with that yet

Updates

+1 y

First of all everyone who was focusing so much on the time aspect needs some reading comprehension skills since I stated that wasn’t the problem, the unmatching was, and the only reason I mentioned the time was to give a full picture, and secondly he texted and said he deleted it because he wasn’t that into it to begin with and he really liked our date and wanted to see where things went

[Anonymous]

It's hard to say. I know I have had classes that were 4 hours long when I was in college so I can see his class being long. As for not being able to find him on tinder, it could be a number of things. Maybe he unmatched you, maybe he deleted his account, maybe his profile reset itself and he lost all his matches (seen this happen before). It's just to hard to say. I wouldn't lie from what you said you did comes on super strong. I mean you pretty much texted him the next morning after a date and asked for a second one which would be him meeting your friends and hanging out with them. That is pretty strong. I can see that scaring away a lot of guys. But the fact that he still seemed a bit interested and the fact you spend so long talking on the phone makes me think he was at least very much into you. So it's hard to say. My suggestion is to ask him if he would like to go on amother date. Just be honest with him and ask if he wants to date some more. If you are honest and ask I say he will be honest and give you an answer. That being sat I would suggest that you avoid asking guys to hang out with your friends on an early date. They want to get to know you, now you just added the stress of getting to know them, them judging him, him being the outsider in a group of strangers and on top of that really limited how much he can learn about you from that date. It's not a good choice early on. Keep it just you to till you know each other pretty well. Then introduce friends, maybe in a smaller setting too. Like going to a movie together or going out for food. Not a big group and for a reason amount of time.

[Chaz269]

Texting a guy after a date and asking him to hang out with friends isn't coming on too strong. All that other stuff is legit stalker level psycho. You need to chill the eff out, for real. You JUST met. If you can't wait 2.5 hours to chat and start stalking his profile, you've got serious issues. Seek professional help immediately.

[Moonchild714]

Well first of all when I was in college some classes were 3-4 hours long, I know those who had Saturday classes usually we're minimum 4 hours. Anyhow, he could've took his profile down from Tinder since the date went so well. I don't know much about Tinder, I only know of it being used more for hook-ups than actual relationships. Personally, I wouldn't invite him to hang with friends that quickly, but you said you gave him an out. I don't believe in the girl can't text first. If a guy gets turned off by that do you really want him.

[Anonymous]

Hard to say, but I can tell You I unmatched guy who I am seeing now 6 months... I did it also after first date.. there is something awkward about that match being there after You already had first real contact. I don’t want guy who I am interested in to go and look at me on tinder..

[Cmasterson]

You didn't come on too strong, you were friendly and not too pushy, you left the door open for him to join you so ultimately maybe he just wasn't feeling it, you never know whats going on the other persons side. Don't think about it too much there are other matches ;)

[PrincessProtection]

He said he’d text you after class, not IMMEDIATELY after class. That means sometime today after class is over and he has an opportunity he’ll text you.
If today comes and goes and he doesn’t text you, then you’ll have a good idea he may have lost interest

[the_esculater]

Thank you for this. She is panicking too early.

[Asker]

the texting isn't my concern though, the unmatching is? like im fine with him taking his time to text, but why unmatch is my question? i only added the texting to give a full picture of the situation

[the_esculater]

Okay, out of curiousity though. What would happen if someone deletes their Tinder account? Won't the matches be removed?
Then in actuality, he'll either let you know what's up, or he'll ghost you. The thing is, you can't tell he has ghosted you in just hours.

[Asker]

@the_esculater yeah but what's the motive in him deleting his tinder account? I understand I'll obviously find out in a day or two if i haven't heard from him or if i send another text in a couple of days and he just lets me know he's not interested or just ignores it, the point of the question though was that I found out about the unmatching now and im curious and wanted to see peoples perspectives of it now and not have to wait a few days to really figure it out

[PrincessProtection]

That’s the point Asker.
Our perspective is you are in panic mode when we think you should relax and not worry about this.
Ask yourself this - if he does decide he’s not interested, what can you do about it?

[PrincessProtection]

So based on your update - you panicked too early

[Asker]

Hahahaha essentially yes

[BlueDream]

It's only been 2.5 hours, chill out.
If you were this clingy on your date that might've been the reason for him to unmatch you.

[Asker]

that wasn't my problem, my problem was the unmatching, as is clearly stated above, i simply put in that detail to paint a full picture, if my problem was the texting, don't you think the question would've been "why hasn't this guy texted me back" or something along those lines?

[BlueDream]

Well the fact that you are counting down on the last text you received makes it sounds like that's bugging you as much as being unmatched. Again, maybe the clingyness turned him off.

[Djuke]

Not bad news... He doesn't like your personality... just try working on that, and maybe you can be the one that breaks up instead of him breaking up with you. But i would ask the guy why he is acting like a ignorant bitch. And that maybe that is because of the lack of balls he has to say things to you directly. I would say... This is no loss for you... Bearing his children would be a loss...

[evank]

You are an idiot. They went on one date and he hasn't texted her back in 2 hours... you're saying he lacks balls and is an ignorant bitch, talking about her bearing his children and shit. Are you for real? You are the ignorant bitch

[evank]

Maybe he is still busy? Maybe his phone is charging in his car. Maybe he has been abducted by aliens.
You did nothing wrong by asking him over, he has done nothing wrong by ghosting for a few hours.
Chill girl, jesus

[Anonymous]

Why are you freaking out over one guy?
So what if it didn't work out. Honey, you need to move on.
No one is worth obsessing over, save yourself.

[whiskerss]

Did he delete his tinder? 2 hours isn't a long time to not reply to a text. Just stop over thinking it, if it doesn't work out then move on.

[VonDamme]

It's only been a few hours and you have his number. Chill the fuck out.

[VonDamme]

The time is relevant because you mentioned it. The point is you noticed the time. Noticing how long he didn't respond and then checking his profile makes you seem needy and clingy AF. It doesn't matter if he deleted it or unmatched you or whatever he did. That's the point. It's not a sign of anything either way because YOU HAVE HIS PHONE NUMBER. So who gives a shit if he unmatched you that doesn't mean you can't contact him now. So, yes the time is relevant. No one needs reading comprehension. If the time didn't matter at all you wouldn't mention it. That's just psychology.

[Asker]

Actually, I went to creep on his profile for shits and giggles because I just wanted to see his photos, then I noticed it was no longer there and THEN I looked at the time of his last reply, but thanks for therapy session

[VonDamme]

Pretty much everyone came away with the same conclusion based on how you initially told the story. Can't be mad at me when you didn't get your point across how you meant it.

[fsu19]

He may have unmatched you. However, he may have also deleted his profile

[Anonymous]

Are you an interesting person? Can people learn something new, or gain insight every time they talk to you? The answer to those, and other similar questions, will help answer the one you asked.

[tk42jm]

Because Tinder isn't a dating site anymore it's more of a one night stand site now

[Anonymous]

I mean it’s never a good sign when they unmatch you. And yeah, you might have scared him off a little.

[MintyWolf]

He doesn't sound that into u. Don't send him anything else and allow him to contact u if he wants. His loss i guess

[Caaarl]

My guess is you didn't click if he's not trying to get you on a second date.

[COCOCHANEL]

i know some people of both genders who have a policy of unmatching once we meet up and exchange contact info. it's not that common though.

[RichardBandit]

Never ask a guy to meet your friends on a first date. You can ask him out that is cool but it should be for coffee.

You played yourself. I would unmatched u too. You're too aggressive.

[evank]

You may have scared him away but I doubt it. Give him a little time maybe he's busy, sheesh

[Beta_Wolf]

Should've waited a day before texting him back

[rockrewls]

Maybe he found someone else?

[dragon9669]

Ugh. No he's ready to propose

[Nachowedgie]

It's probably cuz you're not Asian

[COCOCHANEL]

(　ﾟдﾟ)

[Nachowedgie]

Oh my an Asian girl, hello :3

[Belgiumman000]

Gorter him!

[Belgiumman000]

Give him maybe time.

[BeWithMe]

Sounds like it.