Men who look at other women - I need help understanding..... (Page 2)

Question

I've read a million questions and answers on this topic but I need answers more specifically tailored to my scenario. My fiance took me up to Cape Cod to propose to me. One night, we were about to exit our hotel room (he was in the hallway while I was headed out)--and I watched his eyes follow something up and down. When I came out, I realized he was gawking (mouth open) at another woman's butt (he admitted to this.) Not even three hours later, he proposed to me. That is the start of this whole mess.Since then, I always catch him looking at women. He doesn't exactly seem to stare, but it's hard for me to tell how long he's been looking. We've talked about this and he's tried to explain to me that it isn't sexual and that it is the same thing if he were to notice a fat person, or a deformity, or an attractive man or woman. He says it's all the same to him. ...which I don't believe at all. If he were simply noticing a woman was attractive, I wouldn't care. But I always catch him looking at her butt or her breasts...and when I try to be tricky and ask him later on what he thought of what he saw, he always says he liked it. So he's obviously doing this on purpose and thinking about it...right?It's giving me very low self esteem and our relationship has slowly been deteriorating because of this. I'm very sensitive and watching him look at another woman, especially the night he decides to propose...it's just really taking it's toll on me. I don't do it to him, honestly..and I feel I deserve the same level of respect.But I am arguing with myself because I've read a million times that it is just something a man can't help. But how? If a man really, truly loves a woman and thinks she's beautiful...then how can he not help looking at other women? And why would he want to?I'm very open minded when it comes to sex, and I have and will try anything. My fiance knows this and I know he is definitely not bored of our sex life. So what is the reasoning for this?When I try to ask him...his answers never make sense and always seem to conflict each other. I know I'm attractive to some degree..I've done a bit of modeling, and I'm in great shape with large breasts..(Sorry if that sounds arrogant) but I just keep wondering why I'm not good enough.And when a man looks at another woman and is in a committed relationship that has no other issues, what does it mean? And what is the thought process? Are you picturing her naked, or want to sleep with her, or imagining sleeping with her? Or is it simply just an observation? And also, what do I do about this? I can't force him to stop, but yet it hurts me to stay with him and feel this way..so what can I do to get through this? It seems as if something so small has turned huge and I don't know what to do. It's like, I can't make him stop, but I can't make myself stop hurting over it. Is there another option?Also- what is your take on him not only noticing a woman is attractive, but also noticing her breasts and butt?

Lyulf0 · Answer

Men will always stare, even if he has the most beautiful woman in the world.

If you own a car you think is awesome, your going to look at an appreciate other cars that look almost as cool, just to reinforce the fact yours is the best.

Same goes for women.

Yes I compared women to a car.

Men do it to reinforce what they have is what they wanted. And constantly do it. Its primal men can't control it.

KrazeeKylee · Answer

Probably would be best to ask him to try and be a little more discrete about it. I know for me, if I don't see it then it doesn't bother me so much. I know it happens and I'm not one to ask anyone to change, so its just best if I don't see it. Just tell him how you feel and ask for him to at least try and save it for when your not around. That should work if that is the real problem, but if the problem is trust than that's a whole different thing.

QWEEN · Answer

I been married to my husband for almost 20 years, he has become a liar, he is addicted to gambling, porno and drugs, he has become violent and just this past weekend for the first time in 20 years the police came to our house because he started chocking me in front of my daughter and she called the cops, I did no want to press charges but now I regretted, he left the house, took the money that we had in savings for our vacation, almost 2k, hasn’t come back in two days, hasn’t call and he changed his cellphone number. I’m sad but I can’t continue, for the sake of my kids, I have to leave this relationship, my self esteem is on the floor and I feel very helpless until i met this spell cater called Dr Lawrence on Facebook who brought him back contact him on drlawrencespelltemple@hotmail. com for your own help

properplay · Answer

i don't see the big deal. yeah he enjoys looking at attractive women, he's lying about that to probably shut you up about it and make you feel better. its just sexual though, no emotions at all. he loves you, he respects you, he has warm feelings when he's with you. he doesn't have any of that towards these women. just lust. its different than how a women feels lust I guess. there's really no emotion.

Gravy_Davey · Answer

Didnt read most of it just too much. but to answer the main question, guys look at a girl with a nice figure like looking at art or a sports car lets say. Its something that catches the eye we look appreciate it and move on. There is no emotion there for that girl, no wanting to go and cheat on you. Just to look and think "nice".

aster · Answer

it's called window shopping. chicks do this too. you can't honestly say you've never stared at different parts of a good looking man before, even if you had a steady, satisfied relationship.

or maybe it's just me? but whatever. point is, I'm not going to go out and cheat on my guy and I'm not going to masturbate to the thought of another guy.

it's just window shopping...lookie but no touch, you know?

ladylex930 · Answer

Men are physical creatures. apparence is what the notice first. and any attractice women will get looked at. any women with big bouncy boobs will get looked at and chick with a bubble butt and wide hips will get looked at. doesn't means he's gonna leave you and that he doesn't love you any more or that he's not attracted to you cause trust me if he wasn't  you whouldnt have the ring on your finger

phoenix69 · Answer

I think you should be more nervous if he wasn't noticing other women. If it gets to a really bad point, then maybe you have some cause to worry. but right now enjoy the fact that even if he likes to look at other people's breasts, he's chosen yours for a reason-because to him, they're the best.

martyfellow · Answer

Sure a guy can 'help it.'     Respect for women doesn't come naturally in the modern US, naturally, so you'll have to work with him on this.   Maybe a few slaps on the face..!

MrEM4N · Answer

If looks meant everything then Taylor Swift wouldn't keep writing songs about break ups and heart ache and they wouldn't be selling millions of copies.

You can't relate because what you're attracted to might not be the same areas he's attracted to. When you notice a nice smile and a good haircut with really nice shoes walk past you're doing the same exact thing. It's just different between genders.

Swampwater · Answer

he is attracted to other women physically for the same reason he is attracted to you.

and what do you mean "not only noticing a woman is attractive, but also noticing her breasts and butt?" that is what makes women sexually attractive to men..

There's a difference between noticing and acting on it though. You seem a bit insecure and could come off as a control freak to him.

dont_ask_me · Answer

men are visual. I wish my wife could understand this. if there is a naked woman we are going to look, good looking woman we are going to look, nice a ss or nice rack we are going to look, too tight jeans so you can see a camel toe we are def going to look.

I could care less if my wife looks at all the guys she wants. Just because we look doesen't mean we want that person and don't want you. as long as there is no touching, looking should be fine.

peace-love-couture · Answer

I'm a girl,and I can't help myself.If something is attractive,I can't help but look at it.

Does it matter if he's fantasizing about her?I sure as hell will fantasize about David Beckham before I fantasize about a random guy in the street

Anonymous · Answer

WELL, my man does the same thing, he started checking out women in front of me for the first time ever while I was pregnant. I would bring it up to him and tell him how it makes me feel and he just says, I wasn’t doing anything, I don’t know what your talking about. So the last time I saw him doing it he was staring (for awhile) at the neighbor bending over in tiny shorts with her huge body builder husband next to her, so I yelled, THAT IS ONE NICE ASS YOUR LOOKING AT HONEY!  He turned and said what? So I thought I must not have said it loud enough, so I said it again even louder, THAT IS ONE NICE ASS YOUR LOOKING AT!  He looked at me and looked at her husband and he looked scared. Never did it again! LOL I am a bitch but that’s what you have to do, or they will walk all over you..

Anonymous · Answer

Honestly if you notice a fat person, where do you look? At their feet or at their mahoosive waist line. I'm talking about like really huge. If you notice someone its for their best, or otherwise, assets. Just because he notices other women doesn't mean he doesn't love you all the same. It just means he realise's there's eye candy about.

Anonymous · Answer

Men are visual. I think it is okay for my husband to look at other women. I don't mind it. I look at a beautiful attractive women. It is human nature. I would work on being more confident in your own looks. It is human nature for people to be attracted to people. It doesn't mean he is going to cheat on you or love you any different.

merkmerk73 · Answer

Your post was WAY too long and I didn't read anything but the last sentence - you might want to trim it down if you want people to read it.

We will ALWAYS notice other women - especially their ass and t*ts. I have a girlfriend and she's very hot but when I see a skirt I look. When I see cleavage I look.

It's in our nature, get over it.

LittleOleMe · Answer

Men like looking at other women like women enjoy looking at other houses. You might live in a super nice house, but you still like to look--not necessarily because you want to buy another house, but just because you like to look.
But unlike a house, women have feelings. Your guy should man-up a bit and not be so obvious when he's with you. Save the ogling, drooling and other comments for when he's out with his buddies.

amatuer_zombie · Answer

hahahah MEN WILL BE MEN i guess checking out a women is nothing wrong. i bet you chk out guys too...its NATURAL...don't make a big issue out of it

lee-cooper · Answer

people are bound to look at anything that stands out, if I come yelling "omg look at that baby with a D1ck on its forehead" you are going to say where where looking around. and this baby isn't even there, so what do you think will happen when an outstandingly attractive woman passes by ?

DirtyDlish · Answer

I say to you get over it. You should get him a girl. And say here honey I got you something. Let him look. your not the only thing on this earth. how is it that we can't appreciate other woman. We like to look to try to change me.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm a guy. I sometimes can't help checking out women if I think nobody is looking. I can minimize it if I'm with another girl but I don't think I could 100% stop it day after day. I have never cheated or been tempted to cheat even though I look.

Lavonnah · Answer

well all guys do it my man does it I think its OK too look as long as they don't touch or flirt with the girl.i wouldn't worry about it guys do so many things that we will never understand.

stewie16 · Answer

It is what ALL guys do! Every man does it, you are HOT. Don't let him get your self-esteem down just from this. All guys are made to look at women like this.

synmar · Answer

It never bothered me when my boyfriend checks out other girls.  I don't even care if they flirt them a little.  It's healthy, and I don't see a problem with it at all.

texasbballboy22 · Answer

I don't want to seem insensitive, but from what I've seen from, just about, 100% of women, is that they over think, just about, 100% of their lives. Men are men. We are genetically engineered to stare at women. The fact that he stares isn't an issue. I can stare at different women, and still be just as attracted to my girlfriend.

kaicee2010 · Answer

Guys look at women period short fat tall or ugly that's their nature. My man has profected the art so he does it so that is doesn't offend me they don't do it to hurt us they do it becuse they are men don't let that affect your self esteem you are awsome period know that feel that same thing with p*rn I feel as long as he watches it at home and as long as he looks but don't touch then I am good I look to lol

SuperCurious · Answer

It may seem weird but I even look at really pretty girls sometimes, same as I look at hott guys or a cute puppy, its just human nature imo...

neardark · Answer

men are HARD WIRED to do this ... its as instinctive as breathing 95% of the time it dosen't mean anything I wouldn't worry about it :)

Anonymous · Answer

im sorry :(  it would bother me- I can control myself, even if I want to look at someone, you can force yourself to look forward or at whatever like your girlfriend, you don't HAVE to look unless you have no self control. laaaame.

silverbird · Answer

It's mostly involuntary, honest. It truly is our testosterone driving us. Now how long he stairs is where issue may be driven.

Anonymous · Answer

Well, it is an involuntary thing for a guy to look at a girl. You don't think or picture anything in your head, you just look. It sounds to me like this is what he's doing and you are exaggerating a bit.

Anonymous · Answer

When I clicked on this question I thought it said: women who look at other women... but then again I discovered it says "men" :\ booooooooooooringgggggg

AngelLove · Answer

thank you for asking this question it is very interesting.

Anonymous · Answer

"...but also noticing her breasts and butt?" because he's a man. those are the 2 parts of a woman that most man are interested in

Anonymous · Answer

just because we stare at other girls doesn't mean we like them or will be in love with them. you want a guy who likes you for you.

lily85462155 · Answer

oh my god this question has been on my mind FOREVER...I am in a very similar situation

Kathisfunny · Answer

it's their instint, they're animals, we are all! (Didn't mean in a bitcy way)

KimKayS · Answer

Oh mercy if a particular girl turns him on while he is in love with you. You better believe he will give you some major love making. Enjoy it!!

Anonymous · Answer

I would just you keep him in a cage. Go and get life girl.

Anonymous · Answer

easy you just blow the guy and he's happy just do that ya ya!

briven · Answer

you stare others to evaluate...beauty, symetry,...

MichelleFox · Answer

knock his f***ing teeth in.

7gnat · Answer

Did you two break up or stay together?

Anonymous · Answer

because he's a jerk.

Anonymous · Answer

He a true man

Men who look at other women - I need help understanding..... (Page 2)

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