You regret more risks that you didn’t take vs the ones you did.
I can proudly say I’ve taken plenty of chances with women and have been rejected probably. at least 300 times. But it’s a numbers game and about for every girl who says no i gotten closer to a yes (roughly 40 times).
My past rejections included long term friend zone torture, but I wised up to in my late 20s (I ghost those girls now). Rejections also included unwarranted rude insults and mocking from women when I did nothing inappropriate beyond talking to them and showing interest.
Am I made of Teflon when it comes to rejection? Not really. But I’ve learned to grow a thicker skin.
However metoo crap is really screwing up a lot of male and female courting dynamics. Some women now consider unwanted attention “sexual harassment” to the point of filing lawsuits and destroying men’s reputations nowadays.
This shit has to stop since guys are still expected to make a move.
Just walked up, introduced myself, made small talk, try to get her to laugh (important), ask for her PHONE NUMBER (extremely important), wait a few days, ask if we can get a drink with just her and I...
I read it takes a man roughly 100 steps upon first meeting a girl to then having sex with her. We risk rejection EVERY step of the way. But we have to do it.
Bars yeah. In public places I’m more cautious. I’ll look to see if she’s wearing a ring or make a comment “well you should have your boyfriend do this” and if she says she doesn’t have one...
Rejection is in the mind. The rejection fear has been hard wired in us from thousands of years ago. Back when we had tribes and villages... men would approach a woman and many times it could be deadly. If the women were attached to tribal leaders you could get strung up and killed. So imagine seeing that over and over.. our DNA than infuses that fear into us for centuries to come to protect us. The problem is our brains are still trying to protect us from not getting killed by some tribal leader that doesn't exist. So my advice to my clients has always been.. use the 3 second rule.. see someone you like.. approach within 3 seconds before your brain talks you out of it.
Then on top of that , your brain is hard wired to remember negative experiences so you wouldn't get eaten by a lion or killed in the wild
Sometimes. I'm pretty bold and blunt person, but I'm also realistic. I don't get upset or offered if I'm rejected. I'm a fat chick, and while I'm not the least bit insecure about that alone, in aware that most men aren't interested in me for that reason alone. You can't help what you're attracted to, any more than you can control what you're not attracted to.
I'm a sapeosexual, and I'm going to be much happier with others who are also sapeosexual, which is why I get to know people for a few weeks before trying to pursue anything romantic, intimate, or sexual.
I for one cared less about body weight (it is a considerable factor for me), and more so about personality and compatibility. Matter of fact, I have a particular preference for curvy women, considering I am a man of balance (not too skinny or too obese, keep it in the middle, but also healthy, not anorexic slim jane, give me curvy jane.)
As for the sapiosexual interests. Perhaps that can be arranged... Although I hope you don't mind dating asexual men. I can't offer sex, but I definitely don't mind making out with you or any certain fetishes (that don't involve intercourse).
@TheTrueLordJ and I just celebrated 4 years together last week.
That's right, baby! Love you! Also, it seems strange to me when someone say that they are asexual and imply that they hope you don't mind that and that they would make out with you, without even knowing anything about you.
I don't fear the rejection. I know a rejection would feel bad, but there is always a reason behind the rejection. It can be anything and it is an easy way to know that person isn't for you.
What comes to the things I fear when I ask guys out is:
-Is he going to say yes because he is interested in ME or just my body.
-Is he going to be a jerk in some other way
-What if they don't show up on the date
-What if he thinks I like him already very much and that's why I asked?
So I actually worry about what if he says yes.
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I don’t ask anyone out by not because of fear of immediate rejection. I don’t do it because I don’t believe I’ll find someone that will want to be with me forever and stay. I have not had that feeling with any guy I’ve been with at all and they were all really mean to me for some reason.
I just don’t believe quality guys are out there to be honest.
i make no moves, so i never get rejected.
But if u are going to like someone , then?
No fears at all (has always been like this, too). I one woman rejects me, I'll just focus on ask another one out.
@Toad-1 not afraid. Probably more afraid of commitment than rejection.
I sometimes get afraid of rejection
I don't care about being rejected I care if the woman I am asking out feels like she can just be who she is and not have to say yes just to be nice or because she is afraid I will do something if she doesn't. I am very very careful when it comes to romantic relationships because I am not looking for a shallow sex based relationship like everyone today seems to like. I want a deep serious meaningful relationship with the ultimate goal of marriage and not the garbage marriage of today the one from back in like the 50's where you get married and that is that. because that means I chose the right person. So when I consider asking a woman out I spend a minimum of 1 week making sure I know which emotions I am feeling so that I do not make a bad choice in the heat of the moment (ie lusting and assuming that is love) I also make sure they have a good personality as that is the only way I will start getting romantic feelings anyway then I ask for dinner. if I get a yes then it is dinner and that is it I am not expecting a kiss or sex heck I don't even need a handshake. I then check 3 days later to see if she had a good time and if she is amenable to a second date. after the 4th or 5th I will see if she wants to talk about exclusivity. have not reached that part yet sadly seems it is too "slow" for people well romance is not fast.
I'm not afraid of rejection but I sure as hell am tired of hearing the same old phrases every time. The simple "No" at least save me time to just move on, but the seldom deception boyfriend excuses are what really piss me off with the dating game. It's WAY too prevalent for females (especially younger girls, for you teens out there looking to find dates), to lie to your face about having a boyfriend, or tell you half the truth when in fact that 'boyfriend' is actually just a hookup buddy.
I dont even care how many bigots open their ignorant mouths and argue 'lack of confidence' for my terrible love life. It has barely anything to do with confidence anymore. The entire dating environment especially in the Western world is rigged and corrupted, possibly beyond repair at this rate.
In America, women don't want boyfriends anymore, regardless if you are bad boy or nice boy, they seem to be more interested in using men as sex buddies, human utilities, or emotional tampons. Even Chad/Tyrone isn't safe from disappointment anymore.
Do yourselves a favor boys. If you just want bang-bang, go get a prostitute. If you are like me, who wanted a companion and lover with a future and ambitious goals, invest in a lovebot instead, or go make a virtual waifu or something. Or just stay single and starve this abominable dating lottery til it eventually keels over.
D - usually not afraid of rejection. I've asked plenty of people I liked out. Turned out well, but also turned out badly (mostly because I had no idea they were already taken)... Anyways - who cares?
You'd waste your entire life wondering 'what if'... if you don't try.
What I've come to realize a loooong time ago is I'd regret the things I didn't do much more than the things I did do.
And for anyone who's afraid of rejection I'd like to point these things out. Encourage yourself to ask others out - that's the only way to get rid of the fear. Dive right into it. That's what I did and it worked like a freakin' charm.
The problem with me these days is - I can't find anyone normal enough I'd want to ask out. Hahaha
(In real life only - I don't ask people out 'online'.)
I guess I'm not so much afraid of getting rejected by a girl who I like in the present moment, but rather getting rejected CONSTANTLY by multiple girls over a long period of time. Yes, getting rejected is harsh, and I am scared of it, but most people would say that I would never know unless I actually ask or reveal my feelings, and the worst that would happen is a "no," and well, at least then I would know, and can move on when I feel ready.
My bigger fear is getting rejected girl after girl. To me, it might be a blatant indicator that I'm just not the kind of guy that ANY girl would be interested in - in turn implying I might be meant to simply stay single - and it is THAT that terrifies me.
I used to be when I was in my teens and twenties but, I later got over it. if you really think about it, the worst they can say is no. But the text message that you posted from "guy friend" was kind of a bad idea for any one to try, if you want to ask someone out and you aren't sure how to ask them, you NEVER ask the person who you want to date for advice before hand it's creates an awkward and uncomfortable situation between you and that person and nine times out of ten they are going to presume that you are referring to someone else when they are giving you the advice.
Guys are expected to make the first move, it's the rule rather than the exception.
Women are aware of this of course, much more then men. So some learn to exploit it and pretend their as picky as the recruitment officer of the Waffen SS. So when a guy like me get's rejected, it can be a colloquial kick to the bullocks.
Biologically, a women has a far higher chance of completing her biological mission (IE passing on her genes) than a male. 80% of all women who lived in all of human history did precisely that. With men, it's around 40% And that's due to several, dozens, hundreds if not thousands of different reasons, but that's a topic for another discussion...
With those kind of statistics, I look at your problems of being rejected trivially with a pinch of humour...
@cavmanier
Sources/estimates very, but it is undeniably disproportionately females who had it far easier when it comes to biological success. It's much more equal these days, but historically it has not always been.
There are many aspects to that estimate. But we can be pretty sure one figure is double the other. If you compare the variation of Y chromosomes (inherited from men) with mitochondria (inherited from women), the difference between the two variations shows you that twice as many women have bred in the past as men. If 100% of women bred in the entire span of human history (not possible), the best we could achieve is 50%.
That's not a very good success rate
In the animal kingdom, the difference are far more extreme.
I’m not afraid at all. It’s just a girl and it’s just a no. In terms of things to care about in life, it’s pretty low compared to something like paying the bills and putting food on the table lol.
Probably literally over 100. I’ve dated quite few for a decent amount of time about 9/10 are rejections for one reasons or another.
I don't I used to be very shy and in college I decided to end my shyness for good. I'd literally go and make an ass of myself in front of everyone talking to girls.
Didn't know what to say? I'd say anything even ridiculous things and like two years latter I had made and ass of myself so many time that I stopped caring.
Now I have attracted some ladies and had relationships I'm 29 and well still room to improve but I got better.
If you get embarrassed so what? People laugh? Who gives a crap. Listen to me just go out there and try anything fail until failure doesn't scare you anymore
Women of all ages sit at home while at the same time have hundreds of online friends. Nobody calls. Nobody comes by for a visit.
Gee, I wonder why...
They repeatedly do this to themselves. When rejecting people becomes a way of life, well, people reap what the sow.
I've asked guys out and it'll happen but it either turns into them wanting to be friends or just wanting to hook up. I wouldn't say I'm super afraid of rejection I'm more just afraid they'll want to see me again but not in the same way that I want to.
AS a guy, I'm used to rejection. You go for the things you want and need in life, or you end up waiting and get nothing most of the time.
Its better to be rejected than to waste your time pining over what could be or being strung along..
Also, that's a really lame way of asking someone out, if that was set that up on purpose.
To reduce your chances of being rejected.. Get to know them more a bit first,(build a connection) flirt with them, and try to pick up signs to see if they like you in anyway (flirting, open body language, body facing toward you, playing with hair, diluted pupils, breaking the touch barrier, etc). Then ask them out. And if you get rejected, oh well. At least you tried. Work on yourself i you need improving.. and then move on to the next
Meh, I was when I was younger now I just ask all the time.
If they say no for whatever reason then they always end up asking me after a while cause I don't really mind either way. They can sense it's not a big deal.
I'll usually say yes, see them once and not see them again cause in my eyes a man should be direct from day one.
I used to be much more afraid of it than I am now. Once it happens a few times you cope better. It's not something you want to cope with but whether someone wants to go out with you or not is something you can control.
It is something that happens you just have to understand that everyone you like doesn't have to like you. It sucks especially when you feel like you get what you want. I know I feel that way sometimes. Just like with anything practice makes perfect.
Honestly, if it wasn't for my past rejections which ended up harshly, I think I would have been more open to outwardly approaching someone and asking someone out. Middle school and high school days is where teenagers are assholes, and they reject you in the harshest way possible such as laughing into your face, calling you ugly, etc. As an adult, everyone is much more friendlier and nicer at least in terms of communicating.
When I became single again I was extremely afraid of someone not liking me. I made myself sick over it. Until I finally started thinking about how stupid I was being. Most people that I'm go out on a date with I don't know quite well yet. So who cares if they don't end up liking me? There's other men that will. Their loss.
I'm not afraid of rejection. To prove my point to my friends, I once asked a guy out who I thought would surely reject me because I thought he despised me since I knew he'd been spreading false rumors about me. Surprisingly, he accepted my invitation. He was also surprised & baffled that I asked him out.
not at all. i do not like it when the asking is awkward or WORSE when they act weird just to avoid my knowing they like me, or my knowing they do not. i fear my time being wasted, but rejection is not abad thing to me. if they don't like me then rejection is the best thing. I often feel awkward asking so im relieved when its over so by the time the rejection rolls around, im cool with it.
As a teen I was extremely afraid and every rejection felt like it would kill me. But now pushing 30, I simply don't care. I've gotten rejected more times than I can count, but also had more "yes"es than I can count.
If you don't invest anything in the outcome, there is no point in fearing rejection
I wouldn't say I'm "afraid" of rejection, but more so hurt by the feeling of it to learn that someone doesn't have mutual feelings for me if I truly like them.
However I was never one to dive deep into fantasizing that someone could be "the one" until I get a sense of mutual feelings reciprocated.
I'm not as afraid as I used to be. But my problem is that I never have the chance. I'm not part of any social groups or events so I don't get to meet girls and approaching them on the street or in public places out of the blue is not something I intend to do as I don't want to be labelled a creep.
I used to fear it when I was younger, and I certainly got rejected my fair share of times but I also got accepted too, by some very pretty women so I learned you can't win them all, but you also can't win what you don't put in.
My rejection rate was close enough to 100 per cent, so I learned how to deal with rejection fairly early.
I think that Australian women are probably the most brutal in the English-speaking world, in terms of rejecting men.
When they travel in packs, young Australian women compete with their friends to deliver the most vicious rejection.
I’m usually not that afraid. It is what it is and there’s no good in lingering around a stressful situation
i lot. i usually don't ask i guy out when i like him, i wait until him asks me out because i like to be sure that he likes me the same way i like him. i know that's stupid but i have lots of trust issues
Trust me, it's not stupid m
It is stupid. It's cowardly. It makes you more likely to be dumped if you expect the man to do all of the legwork. I'd respect a woman for asking me out a lot more in this day in age than her expecting the other way around. Otherwise it's no longer worth it. I am seriously tired of wasting time asking women out and getting the same old "No, get lost!" response or "I got a boyfriend" excuse. The dating lottery is terribly rigged against men and boys to the point where we'd rather just stay single -not even gonna play the damn game anymore. So if you truly love him, you'll have to make the first move.
@LordIheanacho i understand your point of view, and i respect it
@Bárbara1402 I may be blunt, but I always strive to speak the honest truth.
@LordIheanacho i respect that
@LordIheanacho amen to that brother!
@LordIheanacho I'd prefer a girl ask me out for the very reason she gave.
I don't get rejected by women if I don't talk to them. 9 times out of 10, I'm not their type anyways. I can be blunt with them all I wish to, but women just get very, very easily, way beyond too creeped out by a guy who likes them.
However if there is a guy that she likes really a lot,... well then that's a different story, now isn't it?
I live in the US where most women are up for auction... no problem if you get outbid... AFter teen years I hung out almost excusively with recently arrived Latin or Asian girls that aren’t generally like that!
I am not afraid of rejection because I am okay with being rejected. There is no point in being in a relationship with someone that doesn't feel the same way. Worst thing is when it might cause you to lose a friend.
After being rejected 22 times by the same idiot, everything else becomes a piece of cake. Now that I look back on it, totally regret it. He tried to ask me out before graduating, me having been so tired of his shit just walked off.
why would you make advances with someone 21 times.. ? lol Did you literally ask him out 22 times though?
and was it clear that you were?
She counted Everytime 😁..
After 22 times he asked
Her out and then she rejected 😀
I did ask him out. He was a musician from my school and very popular. 😂😂 then i met a ginger and i was so over him. Everytime i asked him out he’d be like “nope can’t be bothered” so I’d say “alright John Lennon I’ll be back next week”
If I was out at a bar and try talking to a guy and he rejects me, no big deal, I'll probably never see him again. The fear of rejection comes when you try and make moves on someone you're already friends with and see regularly.
It's not rejection I fear, so. much as I fear that the rejector won't be content to simply say no. That they will be so over the top, that you begin to fear for your own safety - and hate them for the suffering they so needlessly caused.
Of course I don't like the get rejected, and get a bit nervous about it, but I still ask someone out if it seems she's also interested. It's better to have certainty (even if it is rejection) than to keep wondering.
only asked one man out who happens to be my boyfriend of 6 years otherwise I don't ask men out, i think it's best if they do it cause some men prefer to choose the woman rather then the women telling them to choose her.
It depends on how much I know them. Rejection only really sucks if you really care about the person and got to know each other. It feels way more personal that way.
I don't ask anyone else because I am so afraid of rejection.
I wish I wasn't because I definitely missed out on a good guy but I was never able to work up the courage to ask him out.
A lot, but what I fear the most is what she thinks about me because I'm shy. She did introduce herself to me, laugh at my stupid jokes, and giggle, but she doesn't initate conversation, and she puts her head down whenever she sees me. So yes I'm scared she might think I'm weird
It's not rejection I'm afraid of, its the fact that they go to my school and if I get a rejected a bunch of times by different girls, then I could easily come off as desperate as word spreads. Not to mention I'd still see them every other day
I'm extremely afraid of rejection. But I did overcome it once because my fear for dying alone is bigger and I did take the rejection good in her perspective, but for me it was living hell for 6 weeks. I still feel like shit tho.
I sometimes get afraid of rejection. The more I care about someone, the greater the fear. If it's online, no problem :) by the way, pertinent chat extract you've got in the question 👌
I'm generally very afraid of rejection but I still man up to the problem cus obviously most of the time it's not a life and death situation so don't take rejection too seriously cus failures are the pillars to success and sometimes it might be for your own good. Cheers.
Rejection sucks, and most people have some degree of fear of being rejected. But you know what sucks even more? Missing out! You're never going to get with someone if you don't let them know what you want, and if that person means that much to you, then the wondering what might have been would be even worse.
Rejection is something you can get used to. It's never nice, but it's not crippling.
I mean, what's the alternative? Staying alone for ever? Fuck that.
Enough that it took me two weeks to ask my girlfriend out after I had already met her and started hanging out with her a few times. But all works out in the end.
Everyone had some anxiety about rejection. How you deal with it is what separates the boys from the men.
I have severe anxiety about any kind of social interaction. It takes massive amounts of willpower to push myself passed the fight/flight response. I deal with it by analysing it, considering exactly what it is and why it wants to sabotage me. There are days where I just can't push myself to open a girl, but most of the time im able to. And it ends up not being as bad as my amygdala assumes it will be.
I'm afraid but I believe that at least I make a move & know do I stand a chance rather than not knowing where I stand. But it hurts so bad when there's rejection (s).
To be afraid of rejection is ridiculous. If you're rejected, brush yourself off and try again.. It gets easier to learn where you're going wrong.
When I was young, it was horrible. Now I am old enough that I know I the sun will still come up tomorrow if she declines.
My girlfriend and I have been living together for ten years, so I don't have to worry anymore. It saves time.
One person can only handle so many NOs in thier life. So after that many nos people will stop asking. I have had that many nos now I don't give a fuck if I hear no now. I will live my life my own way.
Lmao that chat message.
Uh honestly it doesn't bother me that much and I usually make pretty sure a girl likes me before I ask her out as to reduce the chance of it being awkward for either of us.
I'm afraid of rejection, but have been rejected three times so I guess I should feel used to it by now
I used to fear it a lot, the point that I would project whether she would say yes or no... and if I predicted a no , I wouldn't ask her out.
Now I care very little. 😋
That's one of main reasons I don't ask as much as I do. I fear they have a boyfriend, are not interested, or will feel uncomfortable
I'm afraid of rejection I don't honestly think I've ever asked anyone out I have instigated a second or third date and that was difficult for me because I wasn't sure if he liked me or not even by that point
If were not hitting it off if I'm not feeling a connection I won't even bother saying would you like to get together sometime. I hate going up to stranger women and asking them for there phone number right away not even knowing her.
Never fear. If I’m rejected... oh well. Life goes on. On to the next.
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