How much do you fear getting rejected by someone you ask out?

[somewheresomeway]

You regret more risks that you didn’t take vs the ones you did.

I can proudly say I’ve taken plenty of chances with women and have been rejected probably. at least 300 times. But it’s a numbers game and about for every girl who says no i gotten closer to a yes (roughly 40 times).

My past rejections included long term friend zone torture, but I wised up to in my late 20s (I ghost those girls now). Rejections also included unwarranted rude insults and mocking from women when I did nothing inappropriate beyond talking to them and showing interest.

Am I made of Teflon when it comes to rejection? Not really. But I’ve learned to grow a thicker skin.

However metoo crap is really screwing up a lot of male and female courting dynamics. Some women now consider unwanted attention “sexual harassment” to the point of filing lawsuits and destroying men’s reputations nowadays.

This shit has to stop since guys are still expected to make a move.

[coachTanthony]

Rejection is in the mind. The rejection fear has been hard wired in us from thousands of years ago. Back when we had tribes and villages... men would approach a woman and many times it could be deadly. If the women were attached to tribal leaders you could get strung up and killed. So imagine seeing that over and over.. our DNA than infuses that fear into us for centuries to come to protect us. The problem is our brains are still trying to protect us from not getting killed by some tribal leader that doesn't exist. So my advice to my clients has always been.. use the 3 second rule.. see someone you like.. approach within 3 seconds before your brain talks you out of it.

[dragonfly6516]

Sometimes. I'm pretty bold and blunt person, but I'm also realistic. I don't get upset or offered if I'm rejected. I'm a fat chick, and while I'm not the least bit insecure about that alone, in aware that most men aren't interested in me for that reason alone. You can't help what you're attracted to, any more than you can control what you're not attracted to.

I'm a sapeosexual, and I'm going to be much happier with others who are also sapeosexual, which is why I get to know people for a few weeks before trying to pursue anything romantic, intimate, or sexual.

[whyisitso]

I don't fear the rejection. I know a rejection would feel bad, but there is always a reason behind the rejection. It can be anything and it is an easy way to know that person isn't for you.
What comes to the things I fear when I ask guys out is:
-Is he going to say yes because he is interested in ME or just my body.
-Is he going to be a jerk in some other way
-What if they don't show up on the date
-What if he thinks I like him already very much and that's why I asked?

So I actually worry about what if he says yes.

[Allie_Oops]

I don’t ask anyone out by not because of fear of immediate rejection. I don’t do it because I don’t believe I’ll find someone that will want to be with me forever and stay. I have not had that feeling with any guy I’ve been with at all and they were all really mean to me for some reason.

I just don’t believe quality guys are out there to be honest.

[karahiri]

i make no moves, so i never get rejected.

[Logorithim]

No fears at all (has always been like this, too). I one woman rejects me, I'll just focus on ask another one out.

[AwesomeCookie]

@Toad-1 not afraid. Probably more afraid of commitment than rejection.

[PrincessPie]

I sometimes get afraid of rejection

[FinalVow]

I don't care about being rejected I care if the woman I am asking out feels like she can just be who she is and not have to say yes just to be nice or because she is afraid I will do something if she doesn't. I am very very careful when it comes to romantic relationships because I am not looking for a shallow sex based relationship like everyone today seems to like. I want a deep serious meaningful relationship with the ultimate goal of marriage and not the garbage marriage of today the one from back in like the 50's where you get married and that is that. because that means I chose the right person. So when I consider asking a woman out I spend a minimum of 1 week making sure I know which emotions I am feeling so that I do not make a bad choice in the heat of the moment (ie lusting and assuming that is love) I also make sure they have a good personality as that is the only way I will start getting romantic feelings anyway then I ask for dinner. if I get a yes then it is dinner and that is it I am not expecting a kiss or sex heck I don't even need a handshake. I then check 3 days later to see if she had a good time and if she is amenable to a second date. after the 4th or 5th I will see if she wants to talk about exclusivity. have not reached that part yet sadly seems it is too "slow" for people well romance is not fast.

[LordIheanacho]

I'm not afraid of rejection but I sure as hell am tired of hearing the same old phrases every time. The simple "No" at least save me time to just move on, but the seldom deception boyfriend excuses are what really piss me off with the dating game. It's WAY too prevalent for females (especially younger girls, for you teens out there looking to find dates), to lie to your face about having a boyfriend, or tell you half the truth when in fact that 'boyfriend' is actually just a hookup buddy.

I dont even care how many bigots open their ignorant mouths and argue 'lack of confidence' for my terrible love life. It has barely anything to do with confidence anymore. The entire dating environment especially in the Western world is rigged and corrupted, possibly beyond repair at this rate.

In America, women don't want boyfriends anymore, regardless if you are bad boy or nice boy, they seem to be more interested in using men as sex buddies, human utilities, or emotional tampons. Even Chad/Tyrone isn't safe from disappointment anymore.

Do yourselves a favor boys. If you just want bang-bang, go get a prostitute. If you are like me, who wanted a companion and lover with a future and ambitious goals, invest in a lovebot instead, or go make a virtual waifu or something. Or just stay single and starve this abominable dating lottery til it eventually keels over.

[LittleSally]

D - usually not afraid of rejection. I've asked plenty of people I liked out. Turned out well, but also turned out badly (mostly because I had no idea they were already taken)... Anyways - who cares?
You'd waste your entire life wondering 'what if'... if you don't try.

What I've come to realize a loooong time ago is I'd regret the things I didn't do much more than the things I did do.

And for anyone who's afraid of rejection I'd like to point these things out. Encourage yourself to ask others out - that's the only way to get rid of the fear. Dive right into it. That's what I did and it worked like a freakin' charm.

The problem with me these days is - I can't find anyone normal enough I'd want to ask out. Hahaha
(In real life only - I don't ask people out 'online'.)

[disneyaviationfan]

I guess I'm not so much afraid of getting rejected by a girl who I like in the present moment, but rather getting rejected CONSTANTLY by multiple girls over a long period of time. Yes, getting rejected is harsh, and I am scared of it, but most people would say that I would never know unless I actually ask or reveal my feelings, and the worst that would happen is a "no," and well, at least then I would know, and can move on when I feel ready.

My bigger fear is getting rejected girl after girl. To me, it might be a blatant indicator that I'm just not the kind of guy that ANY girl would be interested in - in turn implying I might be meant to simply stay single - and it is THAT that terrifies me.

[binarybabe001]

I used to be when I was in my teens and twenties but, I later got over it. if you really think about it, the worst they can say is no. But the text message that you posted from "guy friend" was kind of a bad idea for any one to try, if you want to ask someone out and you aren't sure how to ask them, you NEVER ask the person who you want to date for advice before hand it's creates an awkward and uncomfortable situation between you and that person and nine times out of ten they are going to presume that you are referring to someone else when they are giving you the advice.

[Energiya]

Guys are expected to make the first move, it's the rule rather than the exception.

Women are aware of this of course, much more then men. So some learn to exploit it and pretend their as picky as the recruitment officer of the Waffen SS. So when a guy like me get's rejected, it can be a colloquial kick to the bullocks.

Biologically, a women has a far higher chance of completing her biological mission (IE passing on her genes) than a male. 80% of all women who lived in all of human history did precisely that. With men, it's around 40% And that's due to several, dozens, hundreds if not thousands of different reasons, but that's a topic for another discussion...

With those kind of statistics, I look at your problems of being rejected trivially with a pinch of humour...

[Cosytoasty]

I’m not afraid at all. It’s just a girl and it’s just a no. In terms of things to care about in life, it’s pretty low compared to something like paying the bills and putting food on the table lol.

[skateranon123]

I don't I used to be very shy and in college I decided to end my shyness for good. I'd literally go and make an ass of myself in front of everyone talking to girls.
Didn't know what to say? I'd say anything even ridiculous things and like two years latter I had made and ass of myself so many time that I stopped caring.

Now I have attracted some ladies and had relationships I'm 29 and well still room to improve but I got better.

If you get embarrassed so what? People laugh? Who gives a crap. Listen to me just go out there and try anything fail until failure doesn't scare you anymore

[AlphaMale1]

Women of all ages sit at home while at the same time have hundreds of online friends. Nobody calls. Nobody comes by for a visit.

Gee, I wonder why...

They repeatedly do this to themselves. When rejecting people becomes a way of life, well, people reap what the sow.

[MrNameless]

AS a guy, I'm used to rejection. You go for the things you want and need in life, or you end up waiting and get nothing most of the time.

Its better to be rejected than to waste your time pining over what could be or being strung along..

Also, that's a really lame way of asking someone out, if that was set that up on purpose.

[DaniHodge]

I've asked guys out and it'll happen but it either turns into them wanting to be friends or just wanting to hook up. I wouldn't say I'm super afraid of rejection I'm more just afraid they'll want to see me again but not in the same way that I want to.

[piscesbluedreams]

Meh, I was when I was younger now I just ask all the time.
If they say no for whatever reason then they always end up asking me after a while cause I don't really mind either way. They can sense it's not a big deal.

I'll usually say yes, see them once and not see them again cause in my eyes a man should be direct from day one.

[lovelyleo]

I used to be much more afraid of it than I am now. Once it happens a few times you cope better. It's not something you want to cope with but whether someone wants to go out with you or not is something you can control.

It is something that happens you just have to understand that everyone you like doesn't have to like you. It sucks especially when you feel like you get what you want. I know I feel that way sometimes. Just like with anything practice makes perfect.

[Elaine_17]

Honestly, if it wasn't for my past rejections which ended up harshly, I think I would have been more open to outwardly approaching someone and asking someone out. Middle school and high school days is where teenagers are assholes, and they reject you in the harshest way possible such as laughing into your face, calling you ugly, etc. As an adult, everyone is much more friendlier and nicer at least in terms of communicating.

[PinkMichae]

When I became single again I was extremely afraid of someone not liking me. I made myself sick over it. Until I finally started thinking about how stupid I was being. Most people that I'm go out on a date with I don't know quite well yet. So who cares if they don't end up liking me? There's other men that will. Their loss.