Is 4 months too soon to tell someone you love them?

My boyfriend and I have been a couple for going on 2 months but started dating about 4 months ago. I know for certain I’m in love and keep almost accidentally telling him. I’m afraid it’s going to slip out and freak him out.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • I waited longer than that, but if you are certain of your feelings, certainly express them to your guy. Why do feel the news may "freak him out"?

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    • I just don’t want to say it too early and he thinks it was way too soon or something. But I do feel there is a good chance he loves me too. He stares deeply into my eyes all the time and then will ask me what am I thinking. And in those moments, I am thinking about how much I love him. And I think he knows that.

    • If you two can hold a gaze into each other's eyes for awhile, I would think that is a good sign.

  • That's always a possibility, it takes a yard of guts put yourself out there like that on one of the most private and intimate feelings you will ever have, but you know what will happen if you do nothing? Absolutely nothing will happen. When you trust and when you trust someone with your most intimate feelings there's always a possibility your heart will be shattered if you truly love them. It's scary stuff being in combat was not as scary. Love however is not the purview of the week or the Cowardly you know how you feel you know you want to tell him then do it and if he's not the right one. You'll know and you can move on snatch that Brass Ring go for your happiness but be prepared to skin your knees and your heart. I'm rooting for you in your corner I wish you all the best regardless of your decision

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Tell him. Love doesn’t always follow logic or sensibility. You’re not wrong for falling in love with him after four months. To keep it to yourself would be far more regrettable that telling him and risking rejection.

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    • Thank you so much! I needed to hear that

    • I’m glad I could help. 😁 Good luck!

  • I think you should be honest, if that is how you feel. If you honestly feel in love, I don't see the problem in saying it. Time frame doesn't matter (especially since some people have said it way earlier than you).

    I would personally be wary of a guy saying it early (because there are a lot of users and PUAs out there) though I understand some men are genuine.

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What Guys Said 79

  • No, I think four months can be enough. Fear and holding back is NOT the way to get what you want in a love and in relationships. Going for it, being bold and taking risks, risking looking foolish and taking the chance someone may not like you like you like them is how you get what you want.

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  • Love is a strong "Will", if there's a will there's a way. You're both attracted to one another which led you two to end up together, and clearly your attraction is erecting a foundation and that you shouldn't hide. Final advice, it's near early so give it some time meanwhile leave some hints in your behavior and try to collect his reaction and come up with a resolve from it. You can do it !💪👍

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  • No. Whenever your heart feels ready and you think he is ready to hear it (which is hard to dictate) then that is the right time.

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    • I am certain of it. There was a period where I wasn’t sure but it has recently hit me like a ton of bricks. And now I just see him differently. I can’t explain it. But I see everything when I look at him. And I get emotional about how strongly I feel for him

    • It's a good feeling isn't it? Hope it lasts. I really do

  • No you're fine. People should say it to each other when the time comes and they mean it.
    I've been seeing my current lady friend for about 3 months, been with her officially 5 weeks. Haven't said it yet but we've briefly talked about it. We agree that it needs to be said the first time in person and has to be meant when it's said.

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  • It's hard to know. I knew like a week into dating my wife that I loved her and wanted to be with I finally told her like a month in and no she didn't say it back for another month or two which at the time freaked me out but still. If you feel it say it

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  • It's different for every person, love can be instant, however I don't think it is that prevalent. I do think that you can fall in love in a short amount of time. I also think that if you are in a relationship with someone for an extended period of time and you don't fall in love with them, then chances are you probably won't.

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  • If you feel that way tell him. You never know how he feels. He could be too afraid to say it for the same reason.

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    • I actually do feel there is a good chance he loves me too. He stares deeply into my eyes all the time and then will ask me what am I thinking. And in those moments, I am thinking about how much I love him. And I think he knows that.

  • I never tell a girl first. I always wait for a girl. Usually I feel in love or close enough after about 3 months of seeing each other almost every other day and talking on the phone every day. I am dating a girl right now for 2.5 months and if she said she loved me I would say it back.

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  • The timing depends entirely on the people involved and the desired result.
    Society's norms makes it seem like saying i love you too early make you out to be a weirdo.

    If you truly love someone who cares what others think.

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  • Tell them when you believe it to be true. Hard to get right, but when you do - wow, it's powerful. :)

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  • Not at all too soon. If he loves you too it won't freak him out.

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    • I think there is a chance that he does too. He stares deeply into my eyes all the time and then will ask me what am I thinking. And in those moments, I am thinking about how much I love him. And I think he knows that.

  • Hey don't worry.. nothing will happen.. he won't freakout.. everything will be fine.. even the same thing happened to me... We were close friends for 2years but we used to be like couples.. and suddenly one day she kissed and proposed me.. I was shocked but at the same time I was happy that she understood my feelings for her.. now we are together and 9 months of our relationship has passed.. so don't worry he won't freakout..

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  • Well if that is what you feel who cares what anyone thinks? Some people love faster tan others... just do what you feel is right, if the person is for you. he/she won't mind...

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  • I'd say it's not too soon. Just be careful you dont confuse love with lust and Infatuation. Many easily confuse these two.

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  • I told my girlfriend one month in... and were still together after seven months!!! Say what you want to say chap!!!

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  • My girlfriend and I said it pretty quickly and nothing bad as happened as a consequence

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  • It's probably freaking him out that you have yet to tell him... I have no dating experience but I'd feel like I was doing something wrong if I wasn't told that I was loved after 4 months...

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  • I think so and I only say this because I have been through a couple of failed relationships you have to become best friends before you can be anything else that is the truth only then can you start to think about love

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  • It ain't to soon, maybe not tell him just like that, try to tell him between the lines somehow, or wait for the right moment, i think you won't make a mistake even if you say it like directly but its best to let him figure it out

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  • Very tough one - I usually wait till I am sure other person feels the same way not working towards it.

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  • It's not too soon if you feel confident about him, know him well, and feel like he is a part of you😊

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    • Anyway you would definitely like to let it out in your style rather than spilling it out in a outburst

  • If you feel it. Say it. Without risk, there is no reward.

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  • It's OK to tell him u love him... Feel free to express ur love. He will definitely accept. I hope he is also thinking the same way u are thinking now

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  • Nope, that’s the right time.

    I would say it right as the feeling in my heart. I’d make sure I mean it though

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  • let go of fear, and speak your mind.
    he would be fine with that, trust me.

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  • It's kinda too early but I don't think he'll freak out go ahead life its better without fear

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  • Nope... Priyanka and Nick got married 5 months after they started dating :)

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  • It depends on the relationship. If you really love him tell him

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  • you are so late l would tell the girl l loved her on the first date

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  • You express your feelings let him express his , don't prejudge any one

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What Girls Said 48

  • If you want to tell him then tell him - don't try to hide how you feel

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  • If you feel strongly about it, go ahead.

    Meanwhile, here's a similar situation to yours except from the opposite sex... Girls, is she ready to hear the "L" word? ↗

    You should try to understand each other from opposing views.

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  • My boyfriend said it about a month and a half in. He said he didn’t regret it and would never take it back but he does admit it was too soon. I said something along the lines of that I am starting to feel the same way and with time I’m sure I’ll be there. I said “I love you” about a month or so later. Say it when you feel it. Life is too short.

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  • Why would he be freaked? Maybe h is not telling you for the same reason.

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    • I just don’t want to say it too early and he thinks it was way too soon or something. But I do feel there is a good chance he loves me too. He stares deeply into my eyes all the time and then will ask me what am I thinking. And in those moments, I am thinking about how much I love him. And I think he knows that.

    • If you feel it, than do it. It will relieve some tension as to whether this is going to last.

  • Well I haven't told my boyfriend until about a year in the relationship (we've already knew eachother for years at this point). I think its importnat to be sure that its love and not just infatuation before saying it.

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  • Do Not Say Anything Here. dear. You may be Exclusive but not an Item with being Official just Yet. You used the Word "Dating."
    Wait until he Gives you a Ring or Says just Anything to Let you Know Joe is Serious. For Now Somehow, Silence is Golden, girl. xx

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  • People are too particular about the word, in reality its just a word.
    It means nothing if you treat him like dirt. For actions do speak louder than words. With that said, you should always tell people you care about how much you appreciate them. If he dies tomorrow, will you regret not saying it?

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  • Not at all. My boyfriend told me he loved me after three months and I said it back no problem. If you’re feeling it, then it’s not too soon.

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  • Yes it's way to soon wait until 6 months or even a year... some people just say it out of habit but wait until you are more serious about the relationship. I used to say it to early and always got played. Wait until he says it first :)

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  • There's no time limit however it's important to be together long enough to really know if you can love everything about each other. Falling in love is the easy part. However, You can love a person and still not be compatible.

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  • I don't think it's ever "too soon" if you genuinely like someone. If you know your feelings are legit then there should be no worries telling them.

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  • It’s ok. You can have the feeling of living someone in a short time.

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  • If you love someone, tell them and never stop telling them.

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  • My ex and I fell in love within two weeks and it was real. So no it doesn’t matter especially if the other person feels it too

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  • I don't know some people fall in love faster than others nothing wrong with that but dont you think that might scare him off?

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  • Lol no. I told my current boyfriend i loved him after 2 weeks 😂

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  • If you
    Love them I think they would want you to tell them :)

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  • Honestly I think it depends from person to person. If that is how you feel, then let him know.

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  • No. That is the perfect time to truly know. If you don't know where you stand after 4 months, run or let them go.

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  • Love has no timing and I don’t think there is a certain time frame to say you love someone but you want to make sure he’s feeling the same way before you say it prematurely. To be safe I would wait till he says it so you can confirm it without having to worry if he feels the same way.

    Some may say (why wait?) but here’s the thing you don’t want a guy to feel obligated to say a word just because you picked it out of the blue and used it. I’ll be honest with you if I’m dating someone for 4 months I am still on the “getting to know you stage” that means the relationship is still fresh so I’m in the honeymoon phase feeling jittery because it’s a new relationship.

    You’ll know when it’s genuine love when something tests that relationship. I’m not talking about an argument over texting, food, or something simple but a serious test that will either completely make or break your relationship than you’ll know once that word is being used? You’ll know it’s the right time to use it.

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    • If a guy told me he loved me in a fresh new relationship, I wouldn’t feel comfortable and I probably wouldn’t say it back till I actually feel it myself.

  • In my opinion, no! Do whatever you feel comfortable with

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  • It's not too soon. Some people fall in love with someone just from text, or spending one day with them.

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  • Girl you have to follow your heart but make sure it's the right time

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  • yes even if its awkward I never tell someone I love them if I don't mean it

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  • I told my boyfriend after a week, its never too soon

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  • I don't think it's too soon if it feels right. I'm sure a lot of people would say that it's too soon though.

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  • Not really

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  • Go for it girl

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  • No it is not to soon

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  • It's too soon. But I'm not in any means a Standard

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