Can guys be faithful and change after cheating?

Question

Can a relationship still work and the guy change and be faithful although they’ve cheated already?

TarrAva · Accepted Answer

Remember that it takes 2 for a person to cheat on somebody else. Whatever the cause for someone to cheat, there is always a reason behind this betrayal.

It could be because of a misunderstanding, a verbal fight, an inconsiderate action or any other motive that led to the infidelity. And if people don't take time to talk about it, to solve the problem before it gets out of hand, then it might be too late to take corrective action.

My belief is that once someone has made up their mind to cheat because of whatever reason, the trust into that person will be lost forever. There will always be a minimal doubt that it may occur again, given the right conditions.

It is up to the person that is cheated to decide whether she/he can live with this infinitesimal risk, knowing that certainty will never exist anymore.

By the way, cheating on a partner is not a one-way street. It happens the other way round too!

FlyingHorses · Accepted Answer

In my experience they can but it is quite uncommon! If they cheated because they are young and immature they can change but if they are older than their teenage years I would say they cheated because there is something wrong with the relationship! I'm not saying the girl has done anything wrong but he's clearly looking for something else or is just an arrogant prick! Either way it won't work!

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

It is possible that aliens will land in my back yard tonight, but I am not waiting up to offer milk and cookies to them when they arrive.

Many things are possible but not likely. There are a few possible scenarios.

1. You forgive him for cheating and he thinks to himself, "I got away with doing it so I can do it again."

2. You forgive him and he realizes, "What a wonderful girl she is. I'd better get my shit together so I can hold on to her."

3. You forgive him and he thinks to himself, "What a stupid bitch! She's really prime for me to take advantage of her!"

Aside from HIS behavior, will you ever trust him completely? Isn't a good relationship built on absolute trust?

On_the_other_hand · Accepted Answer

Yes they can. This once a cheater always a cheater is bs. But that is not to say many or most aren't repeat offenders.

After I cheated in my 20's I never cheated ever again. And I know for a FACT that it was my raging hormones that made me do it, and I learned to control them. And now my hormones are normal so I'm even less likely to cheat ever again.

Apope16 · Answer

Actually yes. But it takes a lot of work and you have to truly understand why the cheating took place. you have to go to counseling and get to the truth about what the issue was. no sugar coding. no making people feel comfortable. the hard honest truth about why he cheated. Because there is a reason why anyone cheats. you don't just fall on top of someone and cum deep inside their vagina on accident. and women too, you don't just get drunk and let men open your legs for no reason.

So you in order to solve the problem in the relationship you have to diagnose it. I remember one time I started talking to a woman during a breakup with the girlfriend I was living with. I did so because she made me feel like I was an unattractive person and that I couldn't attract any other woman. She even said that nobody would date me ever other than her. I was so hurt I had to restore my self esteem by finding out if I could attract women. So I did. We got back together and I kept talking to the woman as a friend online. I had gone into grey territory on cheating despite telling the online chic that we could only be friend and I loved my girlfriend. It was about a destroyed self esteem. A feeling that I wasn't loved. A curiosity with whether our relationship was a necessary thing financially or a beautiful act of choice. I never met the woman I was talking to online during the relationship with my girlfriend. But none of it would have happened if I had not been told "I can get any man other than you. I don't need you."

Therefore, I say from my experience that someone can cheat out of pain and fear and confusion; but it is not because they don't love you or lacking in monogamy. I am a monogamous person but I have totally been in a place of understanding cheating via texting or sexting or online flirting. Having sex? that is a different story. But ego and shattered self esteem can differently lead to flirtation or other forms of cheating because there is a pain and something is missing in the relationship.

coachTanthony · Answer

If ANYBODY is cheating it is for a reason. Most cheaters cheat for themselves and it literally has nothing to do with the other person.. so the answer is NO.

Logorithim · Answer

Of course it's POSSIBLE, but you would have to have a very good support system and some very good reasons to stay with the cheater, because it is going to take a lot of work to deal with the emotional fallout and the underlying problems. Truth is, you never fully regain trust for a cheater.

One of the big issues with cheating is that it is usually caused by thrill seeking, or at least there is an element of that, so there are issues beyond the actual act of cheating.

Allie_Oops · Answer

Yes, but not for you. Men cheat on those that they think they can get away with. They won't cheat on a woman they truly value and appreciate. If he cheats on you then he doesn't think highly of you and you need not give him a second chance.

Anonymous · Answer

Why would they. If they got away with it this time.
Who's to say the sky is the limit.

Let me just tell this story real quick.
So I'm ten or eleven. Let's just say eleven. I had recently started exploring further away from the house using mass transit.
Anyway me and a buddy ended up at K-mart. Well we were just looking around. We couldn't have had 3 or 4 dollar's on us.
Well I spotted walkie-talkies. Boy they had some nice ones.
They cost about $25.00. I'm thinking, boy that would take me a life time to save up that much money. Let's not forget I'm a free thinker. So work up this great plan. I say to Billy or Boby. I don't know remember his nane lets call him Tommy. Since that's probably the last time I will say his name.
Anyway, Tommy I've got it. So I fill him in on what I'm doing.
So I'm going to buy something inexspensiv. Something cheap but large. Turns out you can get a puzzle that meets all of my needs.
So I go and get me this puzzle. It cost $1.97 and they put in this big ass bag. Now I've got it worked out. I Tommy you just follow my lead. I'm using the garden entrance. It's the closest to the bus stop.
So I head for the radio's. As I pass by them. I grab them stick them in the bag. Never stoping. Ever see a ten year old looking casual.
So I've gotten and off I go. Here comes the the door just a little further. We blow through the door, across the parking lot and right on to the bus and away we go. WOW ! What a rush. I think to myself. I've just pulled off the capper of century. Hold on here it comes.
I think to myself. That was so easy. What a genius. LETS DO IT AGAIN.
So the next day off we go. Every thing is going off just as planned except I've diside I can fit more in the bag. So gab three. There in. I'm off. Ok here comes the door and right as I put out my arm to push the door. The next thing I feel is this large hand. He snatches me up, grabs the bag. The master mind goes down. Busted my theft carrier over in a flash.
Well you all know the rest. Call Dad. And the rest is history.
So I guess what I'm saying is if you leave it up to us and I get away with it. I'm going back for seconds.
I did learn something very inportant and I live by it still to this Day.
I never get in trouble for the same thing twice !!!

victoriaxoxo · Answer

I said yes but it will depend on circumstances as I strongly believe that if you have dated someone for a while and they have repeatedly cheated then it is unlikely to change. However, if there was a good reason for why you believe the person will no longer fall into the same tracks, for example, if they cheated once at the beginning and the relationship changed dynamically following this, it could be very much that they might now feel that cheating is definitely wrong whereas before it was unclear.

Look at it from the cheater's point of view, if he is with you and cheats then in his head something justified his cheating and that usually determines whether he will do it again, reasons can be:
- I barely know her, I heard that she got with this guy the other day anyway
- We have not even agreed on what we are, she is probably not that into me anyway
but can also be deeper issues such as:
- I am like a wild horse, don't think I should be tied down
- commitment is boring

I have cheated before and have been cheated on and I have straightened up before, after being forgiven for cheating, I am sure it is somewhat the same for men. I do, however, think that most cheaters are not people who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong mindset, especially where they cheated in the past.

SketchForger · Answer

I've never personally cheated, but I've been cheated on, and I don't really think it's an extreme heartbreak. It's not one of my "lines" since it's only an indicator of someone's character.

If I can place any judgment and/or value upon someone else based on that action that will coordinate with their character, then sure, I'll make a decision of whether or not they will even want to stay in a single relationship.

Unlike some, I don't actually live my life thinking about the possibility of being cheated on. I'm not really protective of things as if they have no will of their own. So if a person decides to cheat on me, it will show me they they are not mature enough to commit in a relationship, not that they hate me or resent me as such.

Even if such is true, I'm not going to make irrational assumptions about a persons overall character based on a complicated decision. I will know if someone is changed based on why they want to come back. Because I don't think that a girl would come back to me for the sex.

Aysan1992 · Answer

It depends. A & B

A) Sometimes cheating is part of someone and also part of his/her personality.
So he/she will cheat again, even if he/she is in love or in a relationship.

B) But sometimes it is related to their partner and it could have hundreds of reasons.

If it's A, my answer is NO, and you should leave the guy and don't waste your time anymore.

If it's B, try to find out what is the problem and how you can solve it.
You might find a solution for it if you did you can continue that relationship and try to make it work, if not you need to let it go.

lumos · Answer

Can they change? Yes. I'm sure many people who have cheated in the past have changed their ways and don't do it anymore. But does that automatically mean that you'll be able to trust them again and that your relationship will work out? No. Truth is, you'll never know if they'll do it again, no matter how much they reassure you and claim that they've changed. Once it has happened, they've proved that they're capable of doing it. You can't go back from that. So while it is possible for a person to change, I'm not sure it's something a relationship can easily recover from.

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

Is it possible? Yes absolutely. Is it likely? No. It depends on why he cheated, is he willing to change, has the thing that pushed him in that direction (whether it be troubles in the relationship or just piss poor self control) removed from the equation etc. But no matter what, he will NEVER change for you, he can only change for himself it is his choice and you can never force him into it. He may change because he doesn't want to lose his relationship, but again, it will be because its what he wants not what you want.

Sbleigh · Answer

Basically, cheaters love to cheat; that's the thrill and it's rarely about anyone other than the selfish cheater. Cheaters just love the feel of cheating and that's probably the same as being addicted to heroin or something. Not everyone understands it, but we know it's awful. I don't think a cheater ever really grasps just what the betrayal feels like for the other partner in the relationship: like, suddenly a rip cord is pulled from your chest with your heart yanked out dripping and torn at the end of a grappling hook. It's great fun really, everyone should feel it once. 🤨

mandy97 · Answer

Its not true that once a cheater always a cheater, however most of the time they will eventually repeat. Cheating doesn´t only imply problems in your relationship, or arguments or changing habits, its part of the character, they are seeking for something adventureous, new bodies, new exciting short experiencies or even worse if they are long and they give him a hype in the fact you don´t know. Try to stay away because even though all those things aren´t completely bad it shows the lack of respect and in what level of priorities you stand if he is able to risk you.

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

Depends on the age, whether it was a first offense, and whether the couple has any other long term goals in common (like kids, a mortgage, etc). I believe that guys can change but that MOST are babies and expect a woman to 1) magically not have any hurt or resentment anymore 2) provide a loving/ nuturing sexually satisfying environment, fluffing how much he feels loved so he "won't cheat again. Obviously, after you cheat, you break a FUCK ton of trust and she's going to be the one hurt and she's not going to be giving you kindness or sex or nurturing. If the cheater can acknowledge this and fix his partners trust without blaming her for his own feelings of discontentment than yes it can work. But it takes a super human to do this. There are hardly few men or women that can do this.

rjroy3 · Answer

Can they? Yes.
Will they? Most likely not.

I'd give leeway if it's something like being together for 10 years, while being completely loyal. Then after months of fighting they end up cheating once and are remorseful. That guy probably won't cheat again if you're working on those issues.

If year one of your relationship the dude cheats, just move the fuck on lol. If someone can't remain loyal during the honeymoon phase of a relationship, then it's not something you can just work on. He will not change for you or anyone anytime soon.

Fromdusktilldawn · Answer

Mostly people are cheating because they are unsatisfied or frustrated in their current relationship, interest is fading out, they are too different (like they share almost no interests), their personalities don't work out together or there is something they are missing.
But there is also the possibility that some people cheat but don't really realize it (like when they are drunk) and they don't see it as severe as their partner. Or maybe they just fell victim to the seduction of someone and initially are a bit horny and aroused but loose it fast after because they are still in love with their initial partner and might also feel guilty for cheating. That would be the difference between love and lust. In that case there is a chance to get back together

Danny_dan92 · Answer

“Once a cheater, always a cheater”

This saying goes hand in hand with the idea that the reason why a man would never not stop cheating, especially on the woman he is seeing because it all has to do with positive reinforcement. Imagine a kid goes to a store and steals something without anyone finding out and not getting caught. Does he never do it again? Probably not. Now take that same situation but this time he gets caught and gets in massive trouble... does this decrease the likelihood of the kid doing it again? Most definitely.

Most women are such sweet compassionate human beings that they let their emotional attachment to the man get the best of them and so they forgive the guy for cheating with them. And they stay with him.

In the any guy’s mind, this translates to. “Ok she’s ok with me cheating on her, enough to where I can still have my fun and she’ll still stay” so essentially, he’ll keep cheating

Anonymous · Answer

I believe people, no matter what sex, make mistakes, and should be given a chance to explain and make up for their actions. However, cheating... If they truly loved you they would not have cheated in the first place. Maybe they will change their mind after, but the fact of the matter is that they Did it in the first place. They betrayed your trust, and without trust a relationship just can't work out.
Be with someone who respects you enough that they won't go behind your back. You're worth more than that.

Anonymous · Answer

Well I believe they can. At the end of the day, everyone makes mistakes and acts impulsively and stupid sometimes (on about a one off. If it's a full blown affair then he'll no)
It's about whether you feel you can trust the person again? And what their actions are to prove themselves.
Yes the trust won't be fully repaired.
Hell my boyfriend takes me for a mug. But given the last time I found out I kicked him out and he had to spend the night roaming streets as his family won't take him in after it. He knows now he will lose everything.
So it depends on the situation

Socal70 · Answer

Hell no. If he care about you , or the most important, If he respected you. He would've never cheated. It also goes for woman.

If your in a relationship, it suppose to mean something. If he cheated on a past girlfriend , and you know this before hand, run, because he will cheat on you and the girl after you

Showerman69 · Answer

We've seen this movie before. Once a guy cannot handle just tapping one pussy, and decides that he needs more than one. He's hooked!!! I'm not saying that it's impossible? However, it's like a drug addict. He absolutely can stop hitting pussys plural, but does he really want to? Only the people can help themselves, you can't talk him outta of it because he will simply tell you what you want to hear, not the truth! Good luck. Deano

Galian84 · Answer

Yes... but it depends on the reason why they cheated. I know of a few men/women who cheated and they regretted it so much that they never did it again (that I know of), and I also know of others who swore they'd change and never bothered making an effort.

They have to be willing to do whatever it takes to win back your trust, though.

BuchitaBuchys · Answer

I voted no, because in most cases, cheaters don't change. I know people who've never been faithful, they say they'll change when the "right" one comes along, but it's just an excuse. Now, just because I've yet to meet someone who has cheated suddenly become faithful, it doesn't mean they don't exist. Some people do in fact change, but those are rare and in my opinion, it's better to err on the side of caution and assume he won't change.

JimRSmith · Answer

Possible, yes. Likely, no.

Cheating is, in my opinion, about one of two things. One is desperation. The other is entitlement.

I believe people who have cheated out of desperation (by which I mean feeling trapped in a desperately unhappy situation) can change.

I don't believe people who cheat out of entitlement can.

Sweetheart64 · Answer

I think it depends what the individual views as cheating and the degree of it. I MIGHT be able to get over my guy kissing someone, but if he's creepin' and sleepin' around then he can bugger off. I don't trust people easily so it takes a while to let people into my life and once that trust is broken then I have no use for that person in my life.

noubigdumbdumb · Answer

Yeah, but don't take his word. Let him show it.

If they were young/ under influence of alcohol, that sort of thing, and they're older and haven't cheated now, good indicator they have changed. But if they just keep saying how they won't cheat again, don't even bother.

ChetAtkins · Answer

Ask a farmer what they do to their dogs after they kill one of their chickens. It's very sad, but it's either that, or never have chickens. The dogs can't stop.

MrCryptic · Answer

I would say 80-90% of the time... no. They will almost for sure do it again but I know there are exceptions and some men will deeply regret what they did and go will make sure they never put themselves in a situation where they would cheat on you. Personally, I wouldn't trust them again and I know I would never take back or stay with a cheater.

MementoMori_ · Answer

If you want a man who doesn't cheat, look for a man who lacks sex drive or a man who can't get any other girls to have sex with him. Pretty much all normal men either cheat, or want to cheat and would cheat if they had the opportunity. It's built into our DNA based on millions of years of evolution.

Mickey9999 · Answer

My personal opinion is once a cheater always a cheater. I don’t mean that in the sense of every relationship but in the relationship in which they cheated. I believe perhaps a very very small fraction could stop IF the issue (s) which caused them to cheat are resolved BUT people cheat because they are unhappy. And no matter how hard you try, you cannot make someone else happy. So cheating isn’t on you (the victim), the problem (s) lie within the cheater

yellowmamba024 · Answer

Yes it is possible, but it is pretty rare. If I were you, I will not go for a cheater, especially if it's a guy. Guys tend to cheat because they can get away with it. They don't care about what the girl thinks. I am sure you are asking this question, and the same goes for most girls who wonder this, is because you and all those girls are into the cheating bad boys. Well news flash, especially if it's a cheating bad boy, more or less they won't change. They will cheat on you.

tmanw · Answer

They simply can't handle monogamy... It might sound like a cliche but once a cheater always a cheater. Some of us are not fit for committed relationships and are not very likely to ever change our ways

MScifiwriter · Answer

Maybe, maybe not, but I would NEVER date a girl who cheated on her previous boyfriend, far to much chance I'd just be setting myself up for the inevitable. Nope, I want to a girlfriend who would be loyal to me alone, just as I would be loyal to only her.

Loyalty seems to be in extremely short supply these days.

Too many people interesting in open relationships, make no sense to me at ALL!

cjudd · Answer

The chances are slim, in my opinion. I know people can change for the better but it doesn't happen more than it does. Usually for me, I find the lack of trust is hard to overcome especially depending on the circumstances of the situation and the length of the lies.

abdallahdaif · Answer

If a guy cheated once specially if u were lovely with him and gave him everything he will cheat for ever and the worst part he won't tell
Usally loyal guys are loyal always and cheaters are cheaters always and its really rare other than this some guys have intense desire to try other girls always and they won't get over it even if they want its like stopping having sex noway around it

the_lee1982 · Answer

Sorry, but once someone cheats how can you ever truly believe them when they tell you that they love you.

Loving someone is about making their feelings, wants, needs, and desires as equal as yours. Once they cheat, they instantly show you that deep down they only truly care about them selves and what they want and that you only come second to that.

Once a cheater, always a cheater!

Grond21 · Answer

Yes they can, but it is freaking hard. Cheating is usually the last step in a long line of behavior that you should never do in a committed relationship. The physical cheating is often preceded by emotional cheating first.

A cheater can turn that around and become devoted, but it usually takes a long time and a lot of therapy. For both of them.

Anonymous · Answer

I had an ex boyfriend who cheated on me.
When it was happening I was upset and it didn’t help that the girls he previously dated told me they had the same situation. That was when I was in highschool. 6years later, I’m going to college with this guy now, and my friend told me about how he recently cheated on his current girlfriend.

Basically no.

hindril · Answer

Anything is possible like monkeys flying out of my butt. This question goes both ways about men and women. I dated a woman that would say about others "once a cheater always a cheater." She was right. She cheated on me after 4 years together. At times I wonder how many others she was cheating on me with.

Myk13 · Answer

It’s also possible for me to squeeze water from a rock, while pigs are flying by. All while time is waiting for me again, so I won’t be late for work.

Mark 9:23 KJV
And Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.

TomMarks · Answer

There is an old saying out there. "If a man marries his mistress, he'll have to find a new mistress." It comes partly from the concept that once someone has cheated they will be tempted to again. Honestly, if a guy cheats and the girl takes him back, in the back of her mind will always be the seed of mistrust. "Will he do it again?"

LegendarySir · Answer

Can they? Sure, everyone can change. Would I decide to believe they'll change? No.

If I'm dating a girl and she cheats on me, I don't care if she says she'll change, I won't risk it giving her a second. It's an end and a never again, for our relationship.
Same thing would apply to men if I were into them.

Anon-ymous1 · Answer

*Yawns, loudly*

lernulo · Answer

Depends a lot of the guy. Assume that if the guy/girl is a polylove without knowing, they will never be able to stop it.
And if he/she isn't there is something which may have provoked it, and it must be cured before, furthermore, it is needed that the other part really wants.

scotty01 · Answer

It is possible but for the reason why he cheated on her is what any guy wants so if he not going to get it from his partner he’s going to get it else where. That is his girlfriend needs to be more supportive to him and be a lot more affectionate to him. Which any guy wants but if she has an ex in the picture that she really loves more than the current guy then she needs to get rid of him first. Hence why he went looking else where

bamesjond0069 · Answer

If theyve cheated in other relationships yes. If they cheated on you no. Men usually cheat when they dont feel proud of you. That includes you not fucking them enough they will come to be ashamed of being with you and resent you. Then they just dont give a fuck anymore. A man HAS to be proud to be with you, not ashamed or resentful.

tlrmrs · Answer

I don't think they could be with the same person in a short timespan. They'd have to learn how it effects the person they're with and learn that cheating is immoral and hurtful. Maybe then things could be fixed or they could move on but it would take a while before that could ever happen.

Zxcvbnm1 · Answer

If someone cheats on you and you take them back it just shows what a dumb mf u are. Someone that cheats on u doesn’t love u! If they did then they wouldn’t cheat on you in the 1st place! Don’t ever take a cheater back.

Anonymous · Answer

This question encapsulates women in a nutshell 99% of the guys on here tell the truth 99% (not an exaggeration btw), say "No" to this question yet the asker waits for the answer she wants to hear "yes". lol
Definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Bananaman177 · Answer

It doesn't matter. If he's tall and good-looking, you'll give him a million more chances.

If a guy is inferior breeding material, then he gets no chances and nobody cares how loyal he would have been.

That's life.

Friendship_7 · Answer

These are not bad guys, but they put their happiness before anyone else's- I agree with that. So it should never be expected that they would change their behaviour in this regard.

SweetCandiApple · Answer

While it is not highly likely, it is POSSIBLE that a guy could change and be faithful after cheating. Honestly though, cheating is usually a symptom of a much bigger problem. Without lots of honest and free communication, most likely with the assistance and guidance of a counselor, man (or a cheating woman for that matter) is highly probable to cheat again. And the more times a person has cheated, the more likely they will again.

madgoat · Answer

It depends why they did it and if the catalyst still persists, and if they've learned anything valuable from the experience, and from being find out.
It's certainly possible their behaviour can change, whether it will depend on them.

Factshurt90 · Answer

ONLY if he understands why he cheated and feels genuine remorse. This is rare... the “remorse” felt is usually due to getting caught so the instances the person actually changes are very rare.

ZestyWatermelon · Answer

I dated a couple guys whove cheated on me and one of them I stayed with to tryank work things out. While my feelings were different toward him afterward, he did seem to change after that.

tertater · Answer

Cheating isn't some kind of a fever. If they cheat, their current relationship just isn't what they want. I am confident that a cheater won't cheat if they had a relationship they actually really wanted.

1smooth28 · Answer

I don't think girls should trust a guy who has cheated

Anonymous · Answer

Nope, my dad cheats. Busted him MULTIPLE TIMES and he told me he'll never do it again but still does it. Right now I'm just over with it and will find a right time to confront him in front of everyone.

BCA6010 · Answer

Frankly, it doesn't matter. If someone cheats in a relationship, then there will never be a realistic bond of trust between them ever again.

DocilexElle · Answer

No--but if you REALLY like him... just turn it into an open relationship. He's not going to just walk away.

Can guys be faithful and change after cheating?

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