Forever alone or not help to change?

[Anonymous]

So, last September i turned 20. Back then i was in a LDR with a girl from Switserland. Needless to say didn't work out. She was my first sort off girlfriend.

Now after a few months looking at my "life" I've become very scared for my future. I font have a lot of friends due i dont like clubs, its just not my thing, the music, drunks etc. This does effecf i think the fact i never really had a girlfriend. Or some more friends. I go to school see people talk and well go home and do my thing. I just dont know if ill will be forever the lonesome wanderer.

Atm i do think so since am 20 and basically never had a girl to love.

[ThirdRaker]

Not many people end up being forever alone, and unless that's what you WANT to happen, it is very unlikely that it'll end up that way. I know I'm only 14, but as far as I am concerned there are lots of other places to meet girls. Wherever you are, if you see a girl that strikes your fancy, you should go to talk to her. As my friends have always told me, no one ever got anywhere without taking any risks. I know it may be hard to do but think about it, what's the worst thing that could happen? The girl insults you, walks away and your pride hurts a bit. I'll take the risk, thank you very much.
Now for the whole club thing, this reminds me a bit of a show I watched "How I Met Your Mother." I'm sure you've heard of it. In the show, the main character admits to not liking the whole club atmosphere and having to get a girlfriend that way. But he says he does it so that he won't have to look for a partner for the rest of his life, so he can settle down and forget about the clubs and bars for the rest of his life. Work first, have fun after. This is all just my opinion of course, you dont have to listen to it. Hopefully this helped! Good luck finding your sweetheart. :)

[ThirdRaker]

Just realized I wrote "rest of his life" twice in close proximity to each other. Whoops.

[Asker]

Hahaha no problem :) yes risks :p I've been rejected 2 in past few months. And yeh bars and clubs I don't know most people in clubs like where there is loud music etc are either drunk and not really my type. Its hard haha

[lightbulb27]

I lived that life. don't drink, hated the bar scene, the vibe, social pressure, etc.. so never went. You just have to find avenues you are comfortable in, develop friends, circles of friends with common interests, and build from there. Other girls think the same or maybe they go to clubs but just want a decent boyfriend. Churches, social meetup goups that do fun/safe activities to mingle (organize one), bicycling, rock climbing (girls kick a11 at that), TED talk meetup group, whatever you can come up with. Then you'll find the quality people you want to meet and sift who you are match with from there. LDR is fun but not easy.

21... long ways to go. Getting girlfriend step 1. Undersatnding girlfriend step 2. Accepting your role and committing step 3. Realizng what you accepted step 4, etc.. lol all different skills.

[MissLynn7]

I’ve thought about this too recently.

I think if you’re not into that stuff then you shouldn’t settle for that and that does not mean you will be “forever the lonesome wanderer”. I think that if you’re yourself then a woman will like you for who you are and not because you try to go out and push yourself to go to clubs because it’s how people “socialize”.

That being said, when you go to class and stuff and see a beautiful girl then just go up and ask her name or if she’s waiting for a lecture/class then ask what class or professor she has. I know that this always works on me and feels genuine and is a great conversation opener. And who knows, maybe you’ll find the girl you really love 😊

[Asker]

I always stay me. I never become someone else nor will i. But even like when i see a girl thats beautifull i sort off get nervous and the ones whom I dont find beautifull i dont get nervous. Its weird hmmm :/

[Anonymous]

I'm 20 as well and have never been in a relationship. I am pretty introverted so that probably has a lot to do with it. Even though I think the same sometimes, I also realize that am still young and have time. As i've gotten older it's become easier to talk to people and stress less about those things. Not everything has to have a time stamp. People find love at random times in their life. You never know.

[Asker]

Yeh am also quite introverted, whenever i see a girl i like its like am getting nervous to talk to her :/

[Anonymous]

I though about it too but we are both young don't worry. You will find her just focus on your career and when you least expect it she will come. That's Most of the time the way it works

[dreadmyst]

Im 31 and never been in a relationship. Your too young to be thinking like that lol.

Just talk to girls at your school and or look for a club or something similar to your interests.

I too hate the bar/club scene so finding single women is a challenge but i won't go cause i like quite and clubs are anything but that lol.

Dating sites have proved a waste of time for me so im back to hoping i find someone in person. And i am very close to having the forever alone mentality.

[Anonymous]

I'm 21 and want to be with someone but I don't have friends and I don't do things so I don't have a foot in the door.

[Asker]

Feel ya mate

[Vindi]

I am 21, only drank a sip of champagne at 18. Never went to a single club in my life. I surely stand out among my friends. I just live and love my life as it is. A man that has his piorities and goals on order is more attractive to a girl than someone who just parties all week. Just do what you're doing and try not to isolate yourself too much. Study in public places for example.

[JudgmentDay]

Just travel, save your money. Maybe that'll help you feel better, even if it's just a little better. Don't fret or dwell on it, you only live once, so it's better to go and do something now, because you might not be able to later on in life.

[Drumlin2001]

You have your whole life ahead of you. Be social with things you do enjoy. Be open and honest with people, you'll meet someone

[RIVERTAY888]

Well you are not the only one