What is the dfference between a "Date" and just "Hanging Out"?

Question

There's this guy I worked with and I started to like him. I wanted to start talking to him besides work and so I shot him a message. I asked if he was going to our work's Christmas party and at first he said no. But when he came in the next day, he told me he decided to come. Fast foward to the the party, I found out he quit and that's why he wasn't attending before, but then he found out he still could come to the party. At the party we talked a lot, and at the end I told him we should hang out since he quit.

After I got home, he messaged me, and to sum it up, we talked for 2.5 hours. Towards the end he was flirting and he said: "We really should hang out like you said!" "it's been really nice getting to know you..." and then we made plans to hang out this Friday. My question is: how do I know if we really are hanging out or if it's a date? I've been on two dates ever in my life and both ended drastically (first date talked about is ex and the second date didn't realize he actually liked my sister until after our date from talking about her the whole time). So, what is it? Please help!

James_R · Accepted Answer

There is a difference in meaning between date vs hanging out in my view. A date is a more formal interaction between myself and the woman I ask out. I have a plan and intent behind a date; a plan both for an activity and my overarching objective. My plan and intent for a date is romantic in nature - I want to get to know her and determine whether she and I are compatible on a personal level and if we could have a relationship. A date for me is a formal step down a path toward a relationship. Not all dates end in getting to the relationship phase and that's fine, it is a process of elimination.

If I hang out with a woman it is casual. I could be trying to gauge her level of interest and trying to be cool so I don't get my hope up and invest my emotions. I'd do that if I was really into her and did not want to get my hopes up out of concern she would not want me.

In my mind date vs hanging out are drastically different.

brocklee · Accepted Answer

Date- A romantic encounter.
Hang out- Just getting together. Can be either romantic or platonic in nature.

I think he was just taking you up on your original offer using your words. He likely has romantic intention. In this context, it is a nice low stress way of getting together and seeing if actual dating is potentially in the future.

pootytangg · Accepted Answer

The engery is different when you're going on a date both parties are or should be aware that there is potential for this to lead to more. Hangout is platonic. Now some people say let's hangout and really want to go on a date. I would say be clear when asking someone out. If they say no move on.

slytoucan · Accepted Answer

It doesn't matter what you call it. He wants to spend time with you so you both can figure out if you like each other and see yourselves dating each other. Maybe he doesn't wanna call it a date just yet and that's fine

MrOracle · Answer

To me, a date has more structure to it - you have planned some activities and have at least some kind of schedule (even if it is loosely defined).

Hanging out means that there is no schedule or agenda planned.

Pinay_ako · Answer

Hanging out is more relaxed, no expectations, just having fun doing whateva... But date has some tension (sexual), expectations (lots of it) and nerve wracking because you want it to be a good date and hoping the other person likes you same way

Anonymous · Answer

What is a "date" and how is it different from "hanging out"?

Intent and prior planning.

A date is pre-planned at least to some degree, and the intent is romantic.

Hanging out is less structured, may be impromptu, and is not necessarily intended to be romantic.

If I ask a girl if she wants to hang out, all I’m saying for sure is I enjoy her company. For example, I enjoy hanging out with my cousin, or my brother’s girlfriend. Not interested romantically, I just like them. Now, you can hang out with a girl with whom you are interested in romantically, but that isn't’ the same as a date.

If I ask a girl on a date, say to a movie and dinner, I’m making a clear declaration of romantic intent. To the point where, if I don’t mean it as a romantic declaration, I will clearly state that its not a date. For example, I recently saw a movie with a friend who is both married and poly. I wanted to see the movie, and I thought she’d like it, but I clarified that it wasn’t a date, I just wanted to see the movie with her.

Of course, you can have dates in a more general sense, as in setting the date for X, but in context I’m assuming this question is in regards to romantic relations.

ChurchOfIron · Answer

On a date, the guy has to pay the girl with food or drink. Half joke. As to your situation "hanging out" is implicitly not a date. It could lead to a lot of confusion. While you're there you could try to let him know you view it as a date somehow. Just subtely throw i'm glad you wanted to date me. or the last guys who dated me talked about his ex the whole time, im having a lot more fun on this date. or just im having a lot more fun on this date. just try to throw the word in there somehow or let him otherwise know that its more than just hanging out, to you.

Dause · Answer

In reality, hanging out is something you do with friends, if he really intended to hang out he would not be flirting so heavy.

Majority of guys who ask you to "hang out" one on one are low key asking for a date. They just don't say it blatantly because a lot of girls have anxiety attacks if you call it a date from the get-go.

If you ask for a date then you are unlikely to get a date, if you ask to hang out then it ends up being the girl asking if she is getting a date.

thatguyfromtoronto · Answer

To me, whether it's a guy or girl using the phrase 'hanging out' I believe it is an easier way rather than saying, "hey, let's go out on a date" because usually people may be intimidated to say "date" with the fear of rejection. But not in this case, if there's flirting involved and you guys kicked it off, I deem it as a date.

ImVinz · Answer

For me date is the industrialization of hanging out with a boy you met and start to like. All those dating apps are destroying romance, I find your story very cute, go for it be natural and let nature do it's things 😉

Randomawkwardness · Answer

I mean does it matter? Either way you're going to hang out with this guy you like and instead of stressing about whether it's a date or hang out, you should be stressing about what outfit and makeup or whatever to do like he's flirting so he's probably interested and when you ask to go on a date it seems more stiff and formal rather than hey let's hang out

Felinegirl · Answer

A date mainly serves the purpose of finding out if you may get a romantic relationship later and maybe convincing the other person they want a relationship with you.

Hanging out is something you do mainly because it is enjoyable. It may also serve to strengthen a friendship, but still, you would only want to do that because you enjoy hanging out with them.

rjroy3 · Answer

The tacit sexual communication. When you're hanging out there may be some sexual tension, but it was never put out there. In the context of the date one has been informed of this ahead of time so everything is under the context of a mutual like in a more romantic/sexual context.

MusicMayhem · Answer

If you want it to be a date you need to be flirty, touch him during the date, kiss him etc. Otherwise you risk there being no attraction and chemistry and ending up with him deciding it was boring and staying friends or not hearing from him afterwards.

Scaramanga · Answer

If he's flirting, it's a date. But we don't know whether he just wants sex or something more serious. It's the eternal question.

spartan55 · Answer

Don't worry about what it should be titled. You are spending time together so you can get to know each other better. That's a good thing.

Matts18 · Answer

I say same thing. Hanging out usually means we are at home for me.

StarsInTheEyes · Answer

I don't think you would know which it is, until you guys actually go out and see how your interactions are, if there are subsequent meetings or not.

Yeahbuddy83 · Answer

He said (hangout) so he's probably trying to sound casual and not put pressure on the situation. Depending on your age, there is a wider range of hanging out. You could do Netflix and chill, but I wouldn't recommend that yet. If your curious just ask, hey man define hangout, dinner and movie? Offer to go Dutch and split the bill, hell be appreciative of that. Hang out CA be so vague, so just flat out ask.

Browneye57 · Answer

You silly kids - you can CALL anything anything you want.  And now you know why guys shrink with officialdom. LOL

slurreyboy · Answer

He went after he quit? weird. that sounds like he wants a date but is trying to sound cool and casual.

Paris13 · Answer

"Hanging Out" as Just a Friend Can Lead to Asking You Out on a Real Date or be a Potential mate. xxoo

Peter2209 · Answer

Date is basically you are looking for something in future... especially to continue or not but hangout is just to kill present time out of feeling bored

What is the dfference between a "Date" and just "Hanging Out"?

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