Is this how clueless guys are when a woman is interested in him?

[shimmeryns]

[dantetheexplorer]

Most men grew up communicating in a direct manner. Boys don't have to adhere to the "Be nice" rule that girls are told to always follow. You don't like another boy, you call him a tosser, or a wanker, or let loose the c-bomb, and proceed to engage in a bout of fisticuffs out on the school yard. Even if you end up patching things up with him, you're free to call him an arse or a dickhead even if you're mates.

Girls on the other hand, are more likely to have grown up using non-verbal cues and indirect communication. Why do you think you see movies where teen girls act all nice in front of each, praising each other on how they're beautiful or gorgeous, but behind each other's backs, proceed to tear each other down or backstab them. The writers must have pulled those scenes from past experience.

When we grow up into adults (well, most of us anyway), we generally keep to these patterns of communication, even though most of us go on to learn different ways to communicate the same message. Fact of the matter is, there is still somewhat of a social penalty for women who communicate too directly (although that seems to be slowly fading away), and since men aren't penalized for communicating in a direct, sometimes even brusque manner, there is no incentive for them to prefer a more indirect route to getting the message across. Straight-talking is a trait admired in men.

As such, what you deem as "clueless" is just a natural result of people who communicate in different ways.

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

This one is easy.
It is not because we can't read signs or because we are that dense, most of the time is because we don't believe it.

If it sounds sad welcome to the world of being a guy. Even if we can see some signs, even if she flirts and make it obvious unless she is totally direct about it, we simply don't believe that some girl we fancy might be interested in us. In our heads the signals you send us are probably our imagination and she is just being nice.
Guys are not used to be hit on like girls. This is a generalisation of course, but yes, you girls get more attention even if unwanted is attention and it builds confidence. Just really handsome guys are used to that attention so they expect it. The rest of us is so used to not being the target of anyone lust that "Her? No way!".

This is not the girls fault for not giving us enough attention! Not even close! If anything, it's our's for not believing in yourself.

think this is the case. "She is so gorgeous! No way she would even look at me like that". I bet the taught that she might like him didn't even crossed his mind.

[shimmeryns]

I love your opinion on this!

[Benedek38]

You are factually correct, but why is it the guy's fault that he is understandably skeptical?
I have been ridiculed and stood up by women who seemingly "asked me out". I have made the move, and I was made to look like a fool.

Why is it my fault that I don't want to burn myself one more time?

[shimmeryns]

@Benedek38 im sorry there are women who would treat you like that. I would never misled or stood up a guy.

[Benedek38]

*stand up. But that's nice of you.

[simpy3]

Romanticised bullcrap. I've never known any guy who thinks this way. If this how you think, you're in a tiny niche and have severe problems with self-esteem. If anything, guys tend to read signs that don't exist more often than not, because of over-confidence.

I've never had problems reading sins of interest even as a teen, but the ones showing interest were usually ones I didn't fancy. But being a teen, I found it difficult to handle those kinds of situations which meant a few awkward moments. I feared hurting them by just saying no, so I fumbled around it awkwardly and sometimes pretended not to see the signs.

[Truthatanycost]

I'm on the opposite side to this. I can always tell when a girl is into me, even if she tries to downplay it. However, I notice signs from women that only lasted a fraction of a second. Blink and you'd miss it. microexpressions...

[Alice2398]

Omg yesss, I've made so many hints to men in the past but I'm interested and they just act clueless and don't really say much when I try to compliment them or suggest going out and then a couple years go by and one friends will try and embarrass me in front of them and say something like "oh you know Alice yeah she used to have a massive crush on you" and they usually react similar to how Jimmy did in this video. 😅

[aaaae2e]

Maybe he isn’t interested. If he was he would’ve asked you out?

[Alice2398]

@aaaae2e I've had plenty of guys who liked me but never asked me out, out of fear of rejection or just thinking I wasn't interested... Thank you very much 😒

[Anonymous]

Yes, my boyfriend was quite naive. Had to ask friends if i liked him despite obvious signs. He even asked me out to a movie without realising I was accepting his date offer. He showed up in casual clothes (I didn't mind at all) and felt embarrassed when he saw me dressed up for a date.
Not that it mattered, we still became official before that night was over 😂😁

[crazy8000]

Those signs and hints aren't that obvious for others as they are for the one doing them.
Hope you're aware of that.

[Opinion Owner]

@crazy8000 "those signs and hints" - I like how I didn't even list the signs and hints, and you just made this bullshit out of nowhere. The asking out on a date thing, I referred to as "even". I included no examples of signs and hints.

Nice try.

[Opinion Owner]

My boyfriend knows he was very naive, we both joke about it, even when he used to have a tinder account before meeting me.

[Anonymous]

When I’m mysterious, guys are interested. When I’m blunt and tell a guy how I feel, I get rejected.

[lightbulb27]

yep... I agree. unless he is strongly interested or tactfully done, it is a quick cutoff. It's fishing, unfortunately.
hey, if it wasn't so hard we'd have 25 billion humans filling the galaxy, nature has to make it a little challenging to get the best mate, no?

[OlderAndWiser]

Not all of us are as clueless as Jimmy Fallon. He doesn't seem to be very bright. But many men are not particularly good as reading the signals that women sometimes send. Most of us prefer that you communicate directly and clearly instead of talking in code.

[Poormanscomedian]

I am generally confused. Women send out mixed signals

[Logorithim]

Guys are often clueless and sometimes even when they do realize she is interested they still aren't sure how to handle it.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Have no idea how many times it happened to me, my girlfriend had to actually spell it out for me.

[mrbobz]

Yes, at least speaking for myself if i was in that same situation... i would probably have done almost the same thing... maybe made a little bit more effort as i would for any guest coming round though...

I loved his sad face when suddenly he realised "oh my god she likes me?"

I said it many times, guys dont get hints... at least not me any way, it could also be my autism, i take things literally... my girlfriend when were friends once asked me in for coffee after going to the cinema, i said no as it was midnight and would take me an hour to get home and the coffee would keep me awake, and its already late so be like 2-3am by time i get to bed? not at any point did i think "boom chakka wow wow"

I would say watching this as an outsider and knowing that i would say i can see she likes him still... but if i didn't know that fact i would think it was just people getting on really well and messing about

[Anon-ymous1]

Oh my God this is amazing and hilarious.
And yeah we're clueless, but the real answer is, how much did she, as the girl, actually LET HIM KNOW THAT SHE WAS INTERESTED? I mean, how was he supposed to know? It sounds like "oh, I showed up to your apartment with your friend." Derp, how is that showing interest? Lol a lot of the time, girls think that them just like existing in the same space as a guy is a sign of them showing interest.

... No it isn't. Fucking TELL US that you like us. Holy shit. It's very simple. THEN let US take the wheel and steer things. But girls need to be up front and actually tell us, period.

[lightbulb27]

I know, but most can't, so they won't. emotional mind... don't handle rejection as well. look at her lie on camera to protect her image and relationship! they go as far as they can. even if she did I doubt it would have worked. I'd say not tell us, but flirt better. but you may be more auditory.

[Anon-ymous1]

@shimmeryns Girls-- If you are interested in a guy/like him, *TELL HIM* ↗

[shimmeryns]

@Anon-ymous1 I'm glad you enjoyed the video as much as I do! She showed up all by herself if I am not mistaken? If only he treated her better as a guest example having a proper conversation then maybe she'd be able to flirt a little and subtly let him know she's interested. But all his body language pointing out that he was not interested at all. They actually did another follow up interview, she confessed she tried to catch his attention at a mutual friend party after the so-called disaster date but he didn't notice her at all!

If I have to tell a guy I am interested in him directly, doesn't that mean he must find me as not interesting or attractive enough for him to be interested in me first? Thoughts?

[Anon-ymous1]

@shimmeryns No, that's not what it means at all. For all you know, he may be interested, but he's afraid of chasing you because he doesn't know how you'll react; simply telling him that you like him makes things way, way easier because then he knows where he stands and he can then chase you.

[Oram52]

How obvious you want her to be? :)
That is the point.

[lightbulb27]

Oh... thats so funny! I love that "not that way". Oh... so that way!! Girls so lie!:)

Yes we are, I had that same scenario, ugh, I missed out on all night sex, what an idiot... sometimes the mojo just isn't aware! It's called a "nothing box" by the way. Inside the guy (not females), is a nothing box. Inside of it, nothing is happening... he isn't thinking.

[crazy8000]

If someone doesn't noticing your signal's and hints 1. you probably doing something that you think is clear but isn't outside your head.
2. The other one doesn't understand.
3. That person doesn't see you yet in the right way (not in to you yet, not attracted yet).
4. He ignores them due to a lot of reasons.

Doesn't really matter which one it is.
You must be more direct and in some of the cases make that person see you in the right way even if you have to take direct action and invade, more guy's than you realize do you have to do that female's want men to do to show you are of the right material..

[blondfrog]

I saw that this morning lol. No offense I like Jimmy Fallon but he is a bit of a beta male even go as far to say as a super liberal pussy. However there is a lot of truth to this story that applies to most of us men. Yes we are pretty bad at body language and depending on the level of the subtle body language hints. Like if a woman applies makeup that doesn't always mean she is attracted to you. I know some girls who are always whipping out their lip loss regardless of who enters the room. The hair flipping is somewhat hard for me to understand too. If she asks me if I have a boyfriend or not I'll right away know she is interested, and everyguy is different.

[red_knight]

Leaving that display aside. Women are more cryptic and that's why it's not too easy to decipher your codes. Sadly guys don't discuss those details with the boys the way women discuss their observation with their friends.. maybe we are really smart but idiots too lol (I speak formyself)

[RolandCuthbert]

When we are young and your age, yes young one. Many of us could not imagine a woman liking us. Not even if you consider us to be good looking. For certain guys who are good with women, it does not matter how horrible that look or how revolting we are to the woman we are chasing.

But the majority of us have a hard time figuring it out.

[Anonymous]

I guess i can't speak for everyone but, yes i am definiately this clueless.

But its not about being clueless.

Its about men having to suppress all the time and not be sex pests.

As far as he knew this was business, to think it was anything other than that would be completely inappropriate.

If she was trying to express or persue interest she went about it in completely the wrong way.

[BigJake]

It's not that we can't read the signals, it's that we think she's just entertaining herself by seeing if she can get a rise out of us. Every guy has had the experience of having a woman flirt with him pretty overtly and then act surprised when he finally asked her out. Lots of girls get a rush out of this, and it ruins it in those situations in which there is a genuine attraction that isn't acted on.

[sasukeuchiha7]

It's because of the difference in communication.
Women can communicate with each other through simple body language and words with deeper meaning. Men don't, we say things directly.
In this difference lies the problem

[bamesjond0069]

Sometimes we pretend we don't know because we are not interested. TBH she is like probably 10 years older than him and most guys prefer a little younger at least so about 15 years older than what he's into. There is a good chance he just was like ehh no cougars for me.

[Anonymous]

Your question is misworded i think you meant to ask "Are women this vague when showing interest in a guy". I've said it before i'll say it again women think they're obvious, they're not! If a woman goes out with a guy it's 99 times out of 100 not because any signal she sent him but rather that he was just dead set on asking her out. the funny thing is she typically thinks she's special when she could the 100th woman he's asked out that week. He's just persistent that's all. lol

[SjE78]

women can be quite unclear at times tbf, and that guys can be unsure due to this also there are cases where a girl has seemingly shown interest and a guy acted on it, and immediately rejected or put down for assuming different to what was intended

[Oram52]

This was hilarious 😆 No one is this clueless
Started playing video game classic 😂

[Giggletr0n]

Guys are mostly clueless, most of us dont expect a woman to actually want us so we block out the obvious signs to not come across as desperate or needy

[Danny_dan92]

Sooo... at the time that she liked him. Was she dating the same guy that gave her that phat rock on her finger? 🤨

[shimmeryns]

No. She was married Tom Cruise before so I'm not sure when she met Jimmy, is is before she was married to Tom or after she and Tom divorced.

[Danny_dan92]

Ohhh ok.

[MarketData]

This is just two elderly married people trying to make interesting TV. It's a funny story but would you really want to date Nicole Kidman? She's been married twice and has four kids.

In other news, most guys are completely clueless.