When it comes to dating... Is being a VIRGIN a red flag?

Question

SkipStop · Accepted Answer

28 year-old kissless virgin here. I prefer a virgin girl because she has no one to compare me with. We are on the same page. Big relief. And I think it would be fun to learn together. We would both be clean too. We all have our reasons. As long as we can understand and accept how we ended up with our virgin status then we will be fine.

Grond21 · Accepted Answer

I am a virgin, and if that was a red flag for someone I most certainly would not be interested in them

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

To me it says he's either waiting for marriage or had really bad luck with dating or women.
Which wouldn't phase me considering my luck with men in the past: good for him! I know for guys it's bad to be a virgin in your 20s or 30s, but screw what others think! Better than him being a manwhore or f boy

btbc92 · Accepted Answer

Nope. I'm a virgin as well. I respect my fellow virgins [the real pure ones]. What I don't respect is people tossing it away. We have to be on the same page and be compatible. No two virgins are the same. Trust me when I say.

PrincessGrail · Answer

It’s unusual, but not a red flag.

Logorithim · Answer

No, it has no effect on whether she is a good girlfriend

ManOnFire · Answer

Not at all, as long as you're just not squeamish about sex. I oddly think women in their 30s or 40s who are still virgins to be weirdly attractive.

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

I only said yes, because as a definite NON-virgin, it's something that I would really want to talk about for various reasons.
1) would ours be a sexual relationship? in any fashion?
2) would there be contempt for my history of partners?
3) would there be contempt for how my friends carry out their sexual/romantic relationships?
4) Are there religious/cultural differences that I would be expected to "embrace" as well?
5) Would we have the same attitudes toward highly sexualized media, tv shows (like game of thrones has a lotta scenes)?
6) is there an expectation of a long-term commitment aka marriage before engaging in physical intimacy?

It would be a red flag to me as someone who doesn't prioritize virginity, being with someone who perhaps does ardently. Merely because I know we come from different perspectives, and it is an obvious place for many misunderstandings contempt (from both of us). I would do it, but I would need a lot more communication about the topic.

SexyMaid1997 · Answer

In some cases yes. If you're very religious or have a goal of waiting for sex until marriage it is not weird. If there is some extenuating circumstance like taking care of a sick family member when you're young and it leaves you no time to date it is not weird. However if you're a virgin cause you can't get laid due to your personality and habits that's another story. If you're needy, crazy, unhygienic, dont take pride in yourself or your appearance, are socially inept, are hostile, are stalkerish, marriage/baby obsessed etc... then the reason you may not be getting laid despite trying is because there are behaviors and negative qualities about you that need to change.

ObscuredBeyond · Answer

This is nonsense. Any girl who thinks she has it better off if she's with a man who's physically been with a lot of women is a complete doofus. If he's a virgin, it could just mean that he couldn't find suitable wife material (yet.) Doesn't mean he's the frickin' Unabomber. And any girl who'd automatically stereotype a virgin man that way is as dumb as a Tide Pod eater, and deserves for herself to die a crazy cat lady.

I get bullied because I've only been with one woman, whereas supposedly most guys my age have been with at least six. Well, those women who'd bully me over it can go to Hell. My heart - and other parts of me - are not theirs to decide what the proper use of it is. Especially when they've made it clear that they only respect one thing in life: their own egos. In the end, that too shall be taken from them.

VIVANT · Answer

I like the idea bc I think he respects his body and cares about who he gives it to and is patient. I find it attractive. Plus I already like him or we wouldn’t be discussing it. If I like a person Finding out they are a Virgin just makes me curious it’s not a turn off.

If I don’t know them and ALL I know is they are a Virgin bc they told me lol well, this might create a different image but still I’d try not to jump to conclusions lol

I know people say being a Virgin means you can’t get sex but I think more often it will be bc if choice. If a person JUST wants sex, they’ll find a way. Lotta hit by folks out there.🤷‍♀️

DizzyDesii · Answer

No it makes me 20x more interested if theyre a virgin. Gives off a pure inexperienced vibe. I’d like to learn things together

jp612612 · Answer

I'd say it's probably a red flag if the person is older than say, 25. If someone just happens to be a virgin, then it wouldn't be a big deal but the issue is that to a lot of cultures, being a "virgin" is somehow the most important thing ever and it's really no surprise that the cultures (and let's face it, the people) who heavily value "virginity" are also people and cultures that really haven't accomplished a hell of a lot relative to the rest of the world.

There was a post a while back where this young woman was railing against this guy who supposedly left her for another girl. She argued how foolish he was because she was more beautiful and was a "virgin". I actually felt sorry for her because I had a hard time imagining how clueless someone has to be to think that their beauty and their "virginity" should even begin to trump features such as intelligence, wit, compassion, ambition, and sense of humor.

FriedPickles1218 · Answer

It's not a red flag to me. I'm a 25 year old virgin. Not because I can't get any, but because losing my virginity isn't something I've ever made a big priority. I'm hardly ever on the "prowl" so to speak. So I guess it's by choice.

I've always thought that I would like to lose my virginity when I'm more established in life. I'm not really in a hurry. It shouldn't even be a big deal anyway. Every girl likes different things and even a virgin such as myself knows that learning and communicating is an important part of sex.

And just because a guy or girl has experience doesn't mean their always gonna be a rockstar between the sheets.

So in my opinion, it should be the opposite of red flag, if of course they've remained a virgin for the right reasons. If a guy/girl judges someone for being a virgin then I seriously think there's probably a "red flag" with their character.

mistixs · Answer

I'm a virgin. I have a crippling fear of intimacy. & I would probably get overly attached to the person to whom I lose my virginity.
So for me, being a virgin is a red flag for the two aforementioned factors. But it might be different for different virgins

Unit1 · Answer

Of all the red flags dealbreakers out there.
Cheating history
Manipulative behavior
Lying
Smoking
Controlling
Substance abuse
Unemployment or low salary or poor money management or laziness
Stupidity
Hatred towards the opposite sex

No

It had to be a virgin or not. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

roland77 · Answer

I guess it depends on how old the virgin woman - for me - is. My girlfriend is 28 and is a virgin because she didn't feel love from her own countrymen because she saw how they handled their women and she was told by many friends how they behave.

My virginity was removed when I was 25 and I think that is okay, too. I don't see a need why virginity must be removed at always younger and younger ages. Being 12 years old and loosing virginity? They are kids and shouldn't do something like this.

goodlongman · Answer

It is better for young people to stay virgins until marriage (both man and woman). The marriage bed needs to remain pure; studies have been done showing the following:
 Relationship stability was rated 22 percent higher
 Relationship satisfaction was rated 20 percent higher
 Sexual quality of the relationship was rated 15 percent better
 Communication was rated 12 percent better

www.artofmanliness.com/.../

www.psychologytoday.com/.../why-moving-in-together-is-so-risky

sasukeuchiha7 · Answer

Ok, this seems rather immature. Most people say that once you're older, virginity is a red flag. How the hell does that make sense. Ok they're 25+ and never had sex, what's wrong with that?
Seriously people!

beebella · Answer

It would be if they were saving themselves for marriage (bc I don't plan on getting married), but other than that, it's not a big deal to me.

Anonymous · Answer

I met my boyfriend when I was 18 and he wad 20. I was a virgin, never had a real relationship and only ever been kissed twice as well had a history of sexual assault. My boyfriend had already had several serious relationships as welk as a "slut" phase.

It definitely made our relationship slightly awkward at first. It took me a while to feel comfortable and it was much slower than he was used to with most girls.

Sure I'm a mature person but I've never delt with things like how to settle conflicts or deal with each others families.

I wouldn't say dating a virgin is a red flag, but just know that it comes with its own challenges.

Alice2398 · Answer

No not at all, I'm a virgin myself and I secretly prefer virgin guys due to this reason.

Drowningkingfish · Answer

I mean that makes everyone a red flag, since you need to be a virgin in order to break the virgin status. Everyone has been a virgin at one point or another..

Hurdleez-Swampede · Answer

No because virginity is a virtue.

Pious people stay virgins until marriage.

Wusses have premarital sex by following the influence of Satan and so many secular teens are listening to secular adults who are confused how to properly have Godly sex.

ChronicThinker · Answer

Only if you're older.

thegirlfromthething · Answer

At a certain point, yes. If a guy was over 25 and still a virgin (not by choice) I would be turned off.

purplepoppy · Answer

Very few men will confess it's their first time, most over exaggerate their sex experience. So I'd consider his honesty refreshing but I'd want to know why he held back so long

lovemedammit · Answer

I wouldn't hold it against them. It's hard to reach that level of intimacy. I would respect it more than someone who took the easy road & banged a hooker

TheUniqueOne96 · Answer

Nope. I've never dated before, am a virgin and would prefer a virgin.

EclipseoftheHeart · Answer

Maybe if the other person is expecting sex on the first date or something. In all ages virginity was a virtue. Now with the casual sex culture it is keep away from this one, she is a virgin. But on the good side, she isn't going to have STD's or HIV either. Without the expectations of sex being in the way, she would probably be more fun too.

rjroy3 · Answer

Does it matter? Yes
Is it everything? No
Is it a red flag? Depends on the girl and how she views you.

If she thinks you would of had sex, but couldn't then it will be seen as a red flag. Because maybe other girls saw something she missed about you. If she thinks you've just decided to remain a virgin or invested your time elsewhere. She may feel you're uptight, but it won't be a redflag.

Dog19 · Answer

I swear to god, woman are picky as hell. No wonder birthrates are declining

ElvenMr · Answer

Not a red flag for me. I would just be curious to know why and how can a women be a virgin around 30+

Anonymous · Answer

No. I was 18 when I lost my virginity and EVERYONE in my family constantly talked about it but I didn't think anything of it. People are all different. Some people never have sex. Some people don't have sex the first time until their late 20s or 30s. No red flag to me

SpearsAndStones · Answer

If you're a woman it's seen as like some stupid "purity and moderation" thing, so it's actually seen as a positive.

If you're a man, it signals to other women that since no woman picked you yet, you're probably not worth picking. Some men say women can "smell" virginity, but I find that women are usually just superficial and playing to probability. My advice is just to avoid talking about it. Don't lie, but no need to tell her.

Anonymous · Answer

That would indicate that they are religious and that religion is important to them. That would be the red flag for me. As I am not religious. Now if they close to my age, a virgin, but religion is not important. Then I would be interested to know why they are holding out? I don't think I will meet anyone like that. And if I do, and everything clicks and she checks all of the necessary boxes. Then intamacy will fall into place as well. (eventually).

markscott · Answer

If I were dating, being a virgin would make her more attractive.

CandacePerry · Answer

No. I am Virgin and just waiting for right time. Jut because I went through lot of shitty relationships. I kept my virginity for my until the right guy come along.

dragonfruitA · Answer

When you reach a certain age, like 30, at first it would be weird. It's kind of suspicious. But if they explain to me it's cause they're waiting till marriage, they don't feel ready, etc. I'd understand.

sarahbear1750 · Answer

Why would it be? It’s their body, they have a right to decide who enters and who... um... exits?😂  I really need writing skills

AlexBlack007 · Answer

I hope it's not. Because I'm a virgin and if it is a red flag, I'll have to join the Forever Alone club! 😅

anupamagrawal · Answer

If a person has kept his/her virginity, its respectable. And would sure love to date one. Dating is not always about romancing, its also about knowing a person.

CubsterShura · Answer

Opposite for me. I'd not date a guy who had or has premarital sex. AKA he has to be virgin but with exception that he has been married before.

TheHillsRAlive · Answer

No... I have dated many virgins. I have left most of them virgins. I don't see why not having experience in sex acts would detract from the ability to have fun, care and support each other

UnknownReflection · Answer

No.  I don't have a preference at all. I never judge anyone based on their virginity. Everyone have their reasons and lifestyle.

zippididooda · Answer

Yes. It's a big red flag because:
1. apparently nobody else wants to fuck her either.
2. she's got weird religious views concerning marriage, sex & abstinence.
3. she's been waiting for her white knight to come along & you're it.

puffynips · Answer

Some girls still have high morals  Christian for example its very normal for the girls to remain virgins until they marry.

CarpetDenim · Answer

Being a nonvirgin is a red flag

Anonymous · Answer

If your a girl a guy being a virgin is a red flag and a turn off. A girl being a virgin is turn on for most guys.

Mickey9999 · Answer

I don’t think it is for others but for the Virgin or inexperienced person more so if not completely just within their minds. Others don’t seem to mind at all and it seems to be a turn on for more than few

chillguy987 · Answer

They might be religious, have no libido or were to insecure to do it in the past.

Lance1965 · Answer

At my age it is but then again I never had a interest in virgins, even when I was one myself.

cth96190 · Answer

Of course it is not a red flag. The idea is absurd. Everyone starts out as a virgin. Some stay that way longer than others and for a variety of reasons.

PinkMichae · Answer

We were all once a virgin. A red flag suggest there's something wrong. I could never believe being a virgin is a bad thing.

MrsAnna · Answer

Depends on age under 22, I wouldn't think twice. The older you get after that point I would get more and more curious why you have not been attractive to women. But it would never be a red flag.

cheer4life_xo · Answer

Not a red flag I’d respect it but I wouldn’t date you.

Anonymous · Answer

Being not a virgin is a dealbreaker... I wouldn't stick another girl's used tampon in my pussy, and I wouldn't stick another girl's used fuckstick into my pussy either.

LuWe22 · Answer

Not really. I don't like the idea of lots of sexual partner. I prefer a low body count and if they is no it's better

frozenx · Answer

It’s a red flag if you’re 30+ and aren’t saving yourself for marriage. I would then be very curious to know why you can’t get laid.

alice55 · Answer

No, a red flag would be if he had sex with many girls.

GreenGold1992 · Answer

For those very experienced, yes if they're strictly in it for the sex. For others, not so much

morimeme1 · Answer

No, probably not a red flag but a turn off if you're like past 25.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Not in my experience. I was 35. When i opened up and told my ex the full story she didn't flinch, she found it endearing how much i squirmed as i was telling her. Was a really big deal to me

CherryRoseChampange · Answer

Being a virgin by itself no, but depending on the reasoning it could be

When it comes to dating... Is being a VIRGIN a red flag?

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When it comes to dating... Is being a VIRGIN a red flag?

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