When it comes to dating... Is being a VIRGIN a red flag?

When it comes to dating... Is being a VIRGIN a red flag if the person is over 25?
When it comes to dating... Is being a VIRGIN a red flag if the person is over 25?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • 28 year-old kissless virgin here. I prefer a virgin girl because she has no one to compare me with. We are on the same page. Big relief. And I think it would be fun to learn together. We would both be clean too. We all have our reasons. As long as we can understand and accept how we ended up with our virgin status then we will be fine.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Nope. I'm a virgin as well. I respect my fellow virgins [the real pure ones]. What I don't respect is people tossing it away. We have to be on the same page and be compatible. No two virgins are the same. Trust me when I say.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • No, it has no effect on whether she is a good girlfriend

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  • It’s unusual, but not a red flag.

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  • Not at all, as long as you're just not squeamish about sex. I oddly think women in their 30s or 40s who are still virgins to be weirdly attractive.

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  • Only if you're older.

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  • absolutely not.

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  • No it makes me 20x more interested if theyre a virgin. Gives off a pure inexperienced vibe. I’d like to learn things together

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  • No because virginity is a virtue.

    Pious people stay virgins until marriage.

    Wusses have premarital sex by following the influence of Satan and so many secular teens are listening to secular adults who are confused how to properly have Godly sex.

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    • Congrats! Funniest answer yet!

    • i'm so sure if you didn't add the last sentence which expresses sarcasm then the same people who upvoted you would downvote you.

  • Very few men will confess it's their first time, most over exaggerate their sex experience. So I'd consider his honesty refreshing but I'd want to know why he held back so long

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    • Or maybe he wasn't holding back.. maybe he just couldn't close the deal with the women he has been with.

    • Might be the case if she keeping her virginity too but sex isn't too hard for guys to find if they look for it

    • What if the guy is highly intelligent , good looking , rich , kind and people always get intimidated by him and always say you deserve someone better

  • I wouldn't hold it against them. It's hard to reach that level of intimacy. I would respect it more than someone who took the easy road & banged a hooker

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  • No not at all, I'm a virgin myself and I secretly prefer virgin guys due to this reason.

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  • Ok, this seems rather immature. Most people say that once you're older, virginity is a red flag. How the hell does that make sense. Ok they're 25+ and never had sex, what's wrong with that?
    Seriously people!

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    • Because of the why. Is it morals or a fear of intimacy? Nothing wrong with being a virgin because you want to wait for marriage/the right person. Not so much if its fear.

      Like never been in a relationship could suggest you have commitment issues.

      Whats wrong with people taking note of things that could potentially be an issue when dating a person?

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    • It could be but a red flag isn't a judgement its just something that raises concern of some sort.

      And thats whats wrong with being a virgin. Its odd so it will necesarily raise an eyebrow without any other context.

      There's nothing wrong with being a virgin but then again there's a lot of reasons you may be a virgin outside of your control and that is something that could cause problems.

      You have to be smart about these sort of things. Somewhere between being paranoid and naive. Otherwise you will be taken for a ride at some point or let your own thoughts ruin a great relationship.

    • Then I guess I'm in for trouble. I'm still a virgin and I plan to be until my studies are over cause I don't want to distract myself with a relationship during college. So I'll be around 25 or 26 by the time I finish. So I guess I've got a red flag coming up.

  • I mean that makes everyone a red flag, since you need to be a virgin in order to break the virgin status. Everyone has been a virgin at one point or another..

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  • Of all the red flags dealbreakers out there.
    Cheating history
    Manipulative behavior
    Lying
    Smoking
    Controlling
    Substance abuse
    Unemployment or low salary or poor money management or laziness
    Stupidity
    Hatred towards the opposite sex

    No

    It had to be a virgin or not. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

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  • I'm a virgin. I have a crippling fear of intimacy. & I would probably get overly attached to the person to whom I lose my virginity.
    So for me, being a virgin is a red flag for the two aforementioned factors. But it might be different for different virgins

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  • Maybe if the other person is expecting sex on the first date or something. In all ages virginity was a virtue. Now with the casual sex culture it is keep away from this one, she is a virgin. But on the good side, she isn't going to have STD's or HIV either. Without the expectations of sex being in the way, she would probably be more fun too.

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  • At a certain point, yes. If a guy was over 25 and still a virgin (not by choice) I would be turned off.

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  • I swear to god, woman are picky as hell. No wonder birthrates are declining

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    • I could not resist upvoting you 😀😀😀😂😂😂
      And no wonder there are kissless virgin guys way in their 20s.

    • Hpyergamy ladies

    • Hypergamy*

  • It would be if they were saving themselves for marriage (bc I don't plan on getting married), but other than that, it's not a big deal to me.

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  • Yes. It's a big red flag because:
    1. apparently nobody else wants to fuck her either.
    2. she's got weird religious views concerning marriage, sex & abstinence.
    3. she's been waiting for her white knight to come along & you're it.

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  • Some girls still have high morals
    Christian for example its very normal for the girls to remain virgins until they marry.

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  • Why would it be? It’s their body, they have a right to decide who enters and who... um... exits?😂

    I really need writing skills

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  • Nope.

    I've never dated before, am a virgin and would prefer a virgin.

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  • Not a red flag for me. I would just be curious to know why and how can a women be a virgin around 30+

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  • Does it matter? Yes
    Is it everything? No
    Is it a red flag? Depends on the girl and how she views you.

    If she thinks you would of had sex, but couldn't then it will be seen as a red flag. Because maybe other girls saw something she missed about you. If she thinks you've just decided to remain a virgin or invested your time elsewhere. She may feel you're uptight, but it won't be a redflag.

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  • When you reach a certain age, like 30, at first it would be weird. It's kind of suspicious. But if they explain to me it's cause they're waiting till marriage, they don't feel ready, etc. I'd understand.

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  • If you're a woman it's seen as like some stupid "purity and moderation" thing, so it's actually seen as a positive.

    If you're a man, it signals to other women that since no woman picked you yet, you're probably not worth picking. Some men say women can "smell" virginity, but I find that women are usually just superficial and playing to probability. My advice is just to avoid talking about it. Don't lie, but no need to tell her.

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  • No... I have dated many virgins. I have left most of them virgins. I don't see why not having experience in sex acts would detract from the ability to have fun, care and support each other

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  • No.

    I don't have a preference at all. I never judge anyone based on their virginity. Everyone have their reasons and lifestyle.

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  • I like the idea bc I think he respects his body and cares about who he gives it to and is patient. I find it attractive. Plus I already like him or we wouldn’t be discussing it. If I like a person Finding out they are a Virgin just makes me curious it’s not a turn off.

    If I don’t know them and ALL I know is they are a Virgin bc they told me lol well, this might create a different image but still I’d try not to jump to conclusions lol

    I know people say being a Virgin means you can’t get sex but I think more often it will be bc if choice. If a person JUST wants sex, they’ll find a way. Lotta hit by folks out there.🤷‍♀️

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  • Not in my experience. I was 35. When i opened up and told my ex the full story she didn't flinch, she found it endearing how much i squirmed as i was telling her. Was a really big deal to me

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  • I don’t think it is for others but for the Virgin or inexperienced person more so if not completely just within their minds. Others don’t seem to mind at all and it seems to be a turn on for more than few

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  • I hope it's not. Because I'm a virgin and if it is a red flag, I'll have to join the Forever Alone club! 😅

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  • No. I am Virgin and just waiting for right time. Jut because I went through lot of shitty relationships. I kept my virginity for my until the right guy come along.

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  • Depends on age under 22, I wouldn't think twice. The older you get after that point I would get more and more curious why you have not been attractive to women. But it would never be a red flag.

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    • You don’t know if it was their choice. Maybe sex was sacred to them and they had not met anyone they felt was worth it. you may not find that attractive either, but being a Virgin doesn’t mean people don’t want to smash 😌

    • I could have worded it better, but, that is my point. Why is operative. I ignored religious conviction because in that case, I assume the man would view it as a positive, and the question implies viewing it as a negative.

  • Of course it is not a red flag.
    The idea is absurd.
    Everyone starts out as a virgin. Some stay that way longer than others and for a variety of reasons.

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  • In some cases yes. If you're very religious or have a goal of waiting for sex until marriage it is not weird. If there is some extenuating circumstance like taking care of a sick family member when you're young and it leaves you no time to date it is not weird. However if you're a virgin cause you can't get laid due to your personality and habits that's another story. If you're needy, crazy, unhygienic, dont take pride in yourself or your appearance, are socially inept, are hostile, are stalkerish, marriage/baby obsessed etc... then the reason you may not be getting laid despite trying is because there are behaviors and negative qualities about you that need to change.

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  • I only said yes, because as a definite NON-virgin, it's something that I would really want to talk about for various reasons.
    1) would ours be a sexual relationship? in any fashion?
    2) would there be contempt for my history of partners?
    3) would there be contempt for how my friends carry out their sexual/romantic relationships?
    4) Are there religious/cultural differences that I would be expected to "embrace" as well?
    5) Would we have the same attitudes toward highly sexualized media, tv shows (like game of thrones has a lotta scenes)?
    6) is there an expectation of a long-term commitment aka marriage before engaging in physical intimacy?

    It would be a red flag to me as someone who doesn't prioritize virginity, being with someone who perhaps does ardently. Merely because I know we come from different perspectives, and it is an obvious place for many misunderstandings contempt (from both of us). I would do it, but I would need a lot more communication about the topic.

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  • If the person considers it a red flag I'd say they're not worth dating. Personal opinion

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    • At your age it should never be a red flag.

    • Show All
    • Actually I disagree. When you get older and have not been intimate with someone that could be a red flag. The person may not be interested in sex or has a fear of committing to someone which is what I would want to know before getting involved with someone. I don't want a sexless or non committed relationship.

    • I'd just assume they were saving themselves for marriage but I get that the Christian faith is going out of style.

      Kind of like my taste in music.

  • If a person has kept his/her virginity, its respectable.

    And would sure love to date one. Dating is not always about romancing, its also about knowing a person.

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  • If I were dating, being a virgin would make her more attractive.

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  • Not a red flag I’d respect it but I wouldn’t date you.

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  • We were all once a virgin. A red flag suggest there's something wrong. I could never believe being a virgin is a bad thing.

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  • Not really. I don't like the idea of lots of sexual partner. I prefer a low body count and if they is no it's better

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  • Opposite for me. I'd not date a guy who had or has premarital sex. AKA he has to be virgin but with exception that he has been married before.

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    • Same for me. I may consider a young widow without kids. Anything else is a no no

    • I won't mind if he's been divorced or widowed, and I don't mind him having kids either, as long as he is okay with the idea of us having our own kids as well.

  • For those very experienced, yes if they're strictly in it for the sex. For others, not so much

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  • Being a virgin by itself no, but depending on the reasoning it could be

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  • It’s a red flag if you’re 30+ and aren’t saving yourself for marriage. I would then be very curious to know why you can’t get laid.

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  • I'd say it's probably a red flag if the person is older than say, 25. If someone just happens to be a virgin, then it wouldn't be a big deal but the issue is that to a lot of cultures, being a "virgin" is somehow the most important thing ever and it's really no surprise that the cultures (and let's face it, the people) who heavily value "virginity" are also people and cultures that really haven't accomplished a hell of a lot relative to the rest of the world.

    There was a post a while back where this young woman was railing against this guy who supposedly left her for another girl. She argued how foolish he was because she was more beautiful and was a "virgin". I actually felt sorry for her because I had a hard time imagining how clueless someone has to be to think that their beauty and their "virginity" should even begin to trump features such as intelligence, wit, compassion, ambition, and sense of humor.

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  • This is nonsense. Any girl who thinks she has it better off if she's with a man who's physically been with a lot of women is a complete doofus. If he's a virgin, it could just mean that he couldn't find suitable wife material (yet.) Doesn't mean he's the frickin' Unabomber. And any girl who'd automatically stereotype a virgin man that way is as dumb as a Tide Pod eater, and deserves for herself to die a crazy cat lady.

    I get bullied because I've only been with one woman, whereas supposedly most guys my age have been with at least six. Well, those women who'd bully me over it can go to Hell. My heart - and other parts of me - are not theirs to decide what the proper use of it is. Especially when they've made it clear that they only respect one thing in life: their own egos. In the end, that too shall be taken from them.

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  • At my age it is but then again I never had a interest in virgins, even when I was one myself.

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    • so even if u were a virgin before u dont mind or did mind hte lady was avirgin

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