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Should your companion ask for permission before kissing you on a first date? (Page 3)
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I feel like they should ask, it shows they respect me and care to make sure I consent to something as little as a kiss.
You take what you want. A woman likes a man that knows what he wants.
Most of the youngsters today have a serious case of MEH. There's just no passion or desire going on.
What is the world coming to? If she’s being flirtatious and giving u the look like she wants u to kiss her just go for it. Asking for a kiss is what ur mom would tell u to do if u asked her for advice on how to get laid 🤣
I usually ask in an indirect way like, "How would you react to my kissing you shortly?"
Lol... kiss always goes kinda automatically I tend to find
No way am I asking. If the chemistry and vibes are all good then I'll go for it. If she rejects it, no big deal.
Feminism gone mad.
Usually the ones that want the guy to ask are some of the same ones that hook up with a bunch of other guys that show her no respect at all. lol
They just need to read the scene. If the date went well and I am smiling, touching them, leaning foward... seriously take the hint dude!
He is supposed to read the momment!
If I'm on a date with them, I'm already okay with them kissing me. So no.
4 for most.
But then some dates you know immediatly it’ll be a 7.
D and E both sound good.
A kiss is harmless! So no, they don’t need to ask, common sense can determine whether the person want to kiss or not based on body language. We haven’t got through millennia by needing to ask. For the love of god come on people!
It would be nice to ask, the date may not turn out good
B for me.
I could have guessed your answer! :) :) :)
LOL Gosh, I am predictable! Honestly, it takes me some time to get comfortable enough for a new person to get physically close to me.
It is obvious that you are a respectable lady with standards for yourself.
I love your question, but the first date is way too soon.
They shouldn't try to kiss me, period! If they ask, the answer is "NO!"
You don’t have to ask. I’ll probably say yes anyway.
Well, that's pretty much the recommended way to get consent.
Consent can be given verbally, in writing, or it can be inferred from the circumstances. Not many people want to see us get to a point where you must have written consent to kiss a girl on a first date. If she does not want the kiss, she can always say, "No." That is the way it has worked for at least many decades and I am not aware of any significant problems concerning that issue.
.. and getting active verbal consent is a way of dealing with those problems.
@OlderAndWiser Consent is never inferred.
@Jamie05rhs You are absolutely wrong. Whether someone has consented to a physical contact is a question of law. Are you an attorney?
@MlleCake That is the way that you prefer to handle things but other women have other preferences. At the moment, 49% of all women respondents have said do NOT ask first.
OlderAndWiser The law is the only thing that matters. We do not live in a lawless society.
Actually, let me rephrase that: the law is the MINIMUM standard. Our standards for how we conduct ourselves and interact with others should go over and above the standards of the law.
@Jamie05rhs You did not answer the question. Why do you think that the law does not allow for consent to be inferred from the circumstances? Are you an attorney?
I am asking because I am an attorney and I know the answer to the question.
Where are you going with this? Are you just trying to be snarky? No offense.
@Jamie05rhs You claimed something, with absolute confidence, that is not true. I am not saying that this applies to you, but people trying to advance some point on the PC agenda often do that, and I get a bit triggered when I see it happen.
You are right, I did cop an attitude, and I should not have done that. I apologize.
On the subject of battery, or specifically sexual assault or battery, the law DOES allow a defendant to prove consent based upon the circumstances, even when there was no written or even verbal consent.
Suppose that you have been dating the same girl for 1½ years and you have an ongoing sexual relationship. You spend every weekend together and you sleep together on Friday and Saturday nights. Most Friday and Saturday nights, you engage in sex before you go to sleep. Do you ask - every single time - "may I insert my penis into your vagina?" Of course not. You have an understanding that you will engage in sex and that there is mutual consent. If she gets mad at you, reports you for rape, and says she never consented to having sex on the night in question, will anyone take her claim of rape seriously? No.
Or suppose you wake up in the middle of the night and the same girlfriend is in the process of giving you oral sex. She has previously suggested that she would want to do that and you had previously agreed that it would be great. But she didn't ask THIS time before you went to sleep. Does that mean that you have been raped? Of course not.
Proving consent based upon circumstantial evidence may be risky but what of she gives you verbal consent. When she gets mad later, she can deny that she consented, and then you have a swearing match of "He said, she said." Who do you believe. Relying on verbal consent is quite risky, too.
Okay. Well, I'm sorry that I irritated you. I do have strong views on many things, so please don't mind me if I come across as a know-it-all. And if you think something I said is incorrect, feel free to correct it.
I don't think this is about being PC, though; it's about being considerate of others.
@Jamie05rhs Yes, but half of the women answering this poll have said that they do NOT prefer a man to ask first. How do you adopt an approach that is considerate of their wishes, too? Of course, if you know whether a girl is receptive to a kiss on the first date, the problem is solved, but you usually do not know.
Are you really, honestly trying to explain away the need for explicit consent? Really?
Can you NOT do that?
Believe it or not, half of the women on this planet do NOT subscribe to your preferences and, in fact, have stated the opposite preference. Do YOU need to insist that the entire world conform to your preferences?
Personally, I think that, logically speaking, looking at the situation, everyone should always ask first. Because if you don't know, you don't know. If she wanted it to be "random and spontaneous", too bad. Let her take that risk with someone else.
@Jamie05rhs Yes, but half of the women do NOT want you to ask first.
If it's not a "hell yes" it's a "NO" in my book.
And OW - a lot of men in your and my general age group are just kind of used to doing what they want and hoping they won't hear a no or a stop.
And that's just not really in the spirit of active, enthusiastic consent.
I appreciate SOME women are cool with a date just going for it on a kiss. But you can't base your judgement on needs for consent based on the average woman. You have to think any woman, until you know her better, is the most uptight and persnickety woman
Women ALSO need to do a better job of getting consent. It's not just men.
If I begin assuming that every girl is the most uptight and persnickety woman, my enthusiasm for dating will die.
Doesn't seem to hurt things for me at all.
@OlderAndWiser She meant in the context of sex.
@Jamie05rhs This question is about kissing, not intercourse. "Should your companion ask for permission before kissing you on a first date?"
And not asking before I kiss a girl on the first date is working for me.
It was originally about kissing, but it seemed to me like the conversation had morphed into the topic of consent in general.
I guess I should have gotten consent on the status of our discussion. ;)
@Jamie05rhs I never understood us to be talking about anything other than kissing.
Well, then. Let me put this condom back in my pocket. Lol
You brought water balloons? Let's drop some off the roof!
LOL.
No unless its obvious its mutual the girl should initiate
Yes cause I don’t kiss on the first date...