Why is refusing to date seen as a negative thing?

Question

Reading certain posts and thinking on my situation, I have been getting even more convinced I don't want to date anyone, for the rest of my life.
Especially because right after my break up a supposed "friend" tried to screw me over into dating her.
I simply don't see the point - even if there have been good moments in my relationship, I also got a lot of pain and my trust in other people is irremediably shattered.
I don't see appeal in dating someone when I achieve much more and raise more my career and social status on my own.

Yet people had to flock in and act shocked, accusing me of being "afraid of women" and "going MGTOW".
I'm not afraid of women and I hate MGTOW, so stop trying to label me as such.
Why can't people understand it's good for once to just think about myself and forward my goals?

Updates

+1 y

So the friend texted me and I told her more or less what I wrote here.
She just wrote to stop "acting like an idiot" and go have breakfast with her. Okay.

Updates

+1 y

Had breakfast with her, I don't even know what to think of it.
She chastised me for ordering a grappa alongside the coffee - apparently liquor at breakfast is "not cool".

englisc · Accepted Answer

It's because it's completely normal to want a relationship. If you don't usually there's something wrong. It's a sign of dysfunction.

For you I think that you have a lot of trouble with reading people's intentions, and you're assuming that most women are predatory. That also comes from your issues with asserting yourself.

You've had trouble with anxiety, and this coupled with the above makes you avoid conflict, confrontation, and sometimes even harsh truths. You do tend to lie to yourself as others have mentioned, and this isn't healthy for you. This is why you had problems before that relationship also.

You object to being told that you're afraid of women or that you're like the MGTOW guys, but you did say that women are like sharks who can smell blood on you, and that you don't want to date. Those are the things MGTOW believe, or at least it's what leads men to MGTOW. If more than one person is telling you these things it's probably true. But just like you denied the problems in your relationship that were making you miserable and criticised those who pointed them out, you're kind of doing the same thing now.

Right now you're just out of your first relationship, and it went bad in the end so it's understandable if you don't want to date right now. Nobody should pressure you into getting into a relationship so soon. However, I say the things I say because I see what's happening, while you're lying to yourself, living in denial and coming up with false ideas to cope with the situation. It's better to see things for what they are and not to lie to yourself if you want a healthy, happy life.

SteveSmith1985 · Accepted Answer

It's good FOR A WHILE maybe for you to take a BREAK (it can be an extended break) from dating. You should think about yourself and your future goals. Figure some things out. Do whatever you gotta do. But then get back out there.

I'm currently in the process of psyching myself up to do just that. I haven't been out "in the dating world" for 4 years. That's not to say I've had no involvements in that period of time, but I wasn't dating or looking for a relationship. My reasons and situation is totally different. Still, I never for a second thought that I'd NEVER put myself back out there. That I would give up on finding my better half.

There are some great relationships out there. There are some horrible freak-show nightmare relationships too. But there are some good ones. Surely you can think of some examples from your own life of happy healthy couples.

I think you're denying yourself one of the greatest parts of the human experience, at least how I see it.

Why do you have to decide now, that you're not going to date EVER?

Why be so draconian and dramatic about it?

Why not just not date "for now". If there comes a time where things change then you start dating again. If nothing changes "for now" just continues indefinitely. Why bind yourself when there's no advantage to doing so?

MzAsh · Accepted Answer

I think you’re just trying to cope with feeling like you’ve lost control of your emotions due to a woman you like.

I don’t buy for one second that you’re done with dating for the rest of your life consider how readily you jumped when she asked you to to go to breakfast.

It’s fine to take a break for a while but don’t lie to yourself.

SexyAshh · Accepted Answer

Some people can't understand that fact that some people are OK on their own!.

Most people are insecure and feel the need to be validated, not dating shows independence and not needing the validation. That bothers co dependednt people

OlderAndWiser · Answer

1. When you break up a serious relationship, it is very normal to want to take some time out.

2. Sometimes, people who have recently broken up make comments such as you have made. "I never want to be in another relationship." It is usually just an indication of the hurt they are feeling and it does not indicate a true desire to never be in another relationship.

3. However, sometimes people convince themselves that ALL relationships are bad instead of realizing that the recent bad relationship is not representative of ALL relationships.

4. Your friends are concerned that you will convince yourself to never again date and that you will deny yourself all of the pleasures which they have found in good relationships.

5. You just need to reassure your friends that you are taking a time out from dating and will reconsider things a few months from now.

coachTanthony · Answer

It's the same reason that people choose not to Fly for a while when they have a turbulent flight. it's an emotional decision not logical in most cases. We tend to avoid pain in our lives so we draw a line in the sand then want internal validation from others for that line we just drew.

Taking a break from dating is a much more reasonable approach to a bad date or relationship. I always say chase excellence and the rest will come.

Logorithim · Answer

I think its because we associate being together with someone with greater happiness and being single with sadness and having a missing piece to your life.

little_bird1 · Answer

Really? I think it's quite the opposite these days.
People are so bitter and resentful towards each other, that WANTING a relationship is seen as a bad thing. Most people will either joke about it and say stuff like "run while you can!" or "you don't need that shit" and empower the idea of being single and independent. It somehow makes us more desirable; people always want what they can't have. Even just fucking around somehow raises our value, everyone understands when someone doesn't want a relationship because everyone's been hurt. And because everyone knows that giving up is easier then putting yourself out there again.
But those who do want a relationship are seen as desperate and insane. I can't even count how many times I've been asked "why not just have fun?" when I say I'm looking for a relationship. It's as if I said I'm looking for a holy grail, like it's something so unreachable and pointless that I'm crazy for even thinking about finding it.

I think it's perfectly normal refusing to date if you're dealing with some stuff not related to dating. Some heavy stuff that impact your daily life, like a very stressful job & no free time, family issues, personal medical issues, financial issues, location issues, etc. Even just wanting some solo time for no particular reason. But refusing to date just because of bad dating experiences it's simply immature. It tells me you believe that every person in this world is bad and not deserving of you, as if you're some angel sent from above. It's egoistical and it's called playing victim. There is no person on this planet who doesn't want to be loved! And because of people who play these victims and not take dating seriously, we who do want it end up hurt by you in the first place. Because you gave up and it's now spreading like a plague.
I say you should look yourself long into the mirror and question deeply what you're doing wrong. Because if you constantly end up hurt by people you're dating, most likely it's your own fault. And the most common reason is because you're at wrong places for wrong people. You are giving chances to people who don't want it and are not in the state of mind to commit. It means you're standard are still kind of immature and you get attracted to unimportant qualities about others. It takes a lot of practice, a lot of dating and a lot of heartbreak to learn to filter these "qualities" out and see the big picture of relationship and what is actually all about. It comes naturally, standards change naturally over time. And that's when the real, good stuff come along your way. Your develop a kind of radar for this, and when that good thing comes along, you won't miss it. And no sane, mature person would refuse it.

MercuryG · Answer

The input from @OlderAndWiser is the best I've seen yet for your situation @Jean-Marie_Céline.

You're definitely hurting now and by the sounds of it you've got every right and probably should step back from any dating for a while.
Make some changes, focus on yourself, get into a new hobby, a new community.

Friends that are genuine and actually care for you well respect this and continue to be there in your life. Those that are in your life to live out their own fantasies and desires vicariously will fall away as soon as you show them your inner strength and resolve to be your own person.

Regarding your statements about not wanting to date again ever? They are a bit alarming, but we've all gone through that the first time our hearts get broken. Not just girls either, guys react the same way emotionally and there's no shame in it.
You've been hurt. There's a whole process to this and the best thing you can do is move through it and come out a better person for all the pain you've endured.

I personally hope you move past that phase of letting this hurt keep you from relationships in the future, but that's the future and not something you should focus on right now.

Your head AND heart are telling you what you need right now so I say follow that and work on yourself. From experience it works out best that way.

If you work on yourself, work towards liking yourself, that's going to be the best outcome.
And from that if you do ever date again, that self confidence will attract the best partner possible AND give you the inner stability to handle dating and relationships with ease.

You'll get there.

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

I don't think its a bad thing IF its temporary. You need time off and that's understandable (especially since judging from your other posts and questions it was a rather abusive relationship), but I think the issue people have is the "for the rest of my life". Don't let the bad experience deprive you of good experiences. I'd say take some time off (six months, a year what ever), you don't have to even go looking for it but I would say just remember the red flags of the last one and make sure that if you see ANY of those in the next girl to come along, cut them off. But otherwise no, I don't think it has to do with being afraid of women (I've not been in a relationship for years, its not because I fear women, its because I can't seem to find one that is worth being with) and it doesn't mean your going MGTOW as that is a particular philosophy (I don't hate them, I personally just think their feelings are understandable but ultimately misguided). But I do agree that it is good to think about yourself for once, especially if you have been sacrificing for others for a long time. I'd just say take a vacation from dating, get your life sorted, achieve some goals, then after a time when your ready maybe come back to the dating world.

JudgmentDay · Answer

Dating is all but futile the way I look at it. Do you have any actual goals clear otherwise that you have set for dating? If not, good luck, otherwise what's the point of ever dating anybody at all? You have to desire a certain outcome, any outcome at all. I see it as completely pointless, those that want to get laid as their end goal good luck with that one too, at least you know that's what your goal an intention is out of dating. Same for those going from point A to point B to date then establish a long term relationship, marry and then either live together forever as a childfree couple or start a family together. At least for those people their mind is already set and made up and clear about what exactly they really want to do with dating. Otherwise what's the point? Neither of those are something I desire nor intend to pursue. Date to date? To kill time with somebody else for a while? To dine out and/or go see a movie together? Nope. I'm all good. I really don't care if others think or believe that refusing to date as being a negative or bad thing. It's worse to date all with no clear and set goals in mind to begin with or in the very first place. One is basically running on a hamster wheel endlessly trying to find and reach that supposed "happiness" or whatever it is that they think they want or get by having no clear or set goals at all.

GraveDoll · Answer

I can attest this is something that one must get use to. Not sure why and I dont understand it. we were not born at the hip with anyone. and we leave this world pretty much the same. As one.

After some time it rolls off you because you know your reasons why and that all that matters. I imagine your last relationship took you for and emotional rollercoaster adn let me tell you something that makes you a cool person. Because you were real and genuine in wanting to make things work. make life better. And I think you are the type who gives his all (arent most us ambitions ones are lol we love hard and can't be bothered if we dont) You drive mostly off logic so when you do emotional invest yourself. You just burn out. I not sure why others can not see that some of us have to HAVE that space in between.

you dont want to half-ass anything with anyone. Or wind up in that crappy movie groundhogs day that takes a lot of honesty to admit.

I refuse to commit. I have my own reason. after being in two serious relationships one was like dating Satan's son and the other was literal dating an Angle sent from one of the 7 wonders.

I know when I do It will be real and it will because I choose to be with a person. Not a need from an unhealth stance. I'm ok being single and I know once I have a stronger sense of self I will make one hell of a wife mother team player giver and everything in between.

I am sorry that people can't see that. (it getting exhausting. ALL these apologies for the idiocy of humanity lol -_-)
It even sadder they dont see you came from an extremely unhealthy relationship. You have a lot of muck to shift through from that ordeal. I honest would be more worry if you did and question your sanity <_<

Anonymous · Answer

I have also refused to date for 3 1/2 years now, for many reasons, including personal ones. Little to no sex drive, fear of physical intimacy, trust issues (especially concerning the physical intimacy issues; it would take a very long time for me to get comfortable with a person enough to just do very basic things), bad past experiences, fear of being used or having my heart broken, inexperience, fear in general, the list goes on. I also, like you, have a lot of goals I'd like to focus on without distractions.

I'm more to the point now of if the right person comes along and it just feels right, I might consider it, but I'm not actively looking to date at all. I've had two sucky relationships and am much happier by myself than I ever have been in a relationship. The only thing I don't like is feeling like an outsider because other people for some reason find it strange to not want to enter a relationship.

I have friends trying to pressure me into dating like crazy. They just can't wrap their heads around the fact that maybe I just don't want to date right now, definitely don't want to rush into or force a relationship like they'd like for me to, and that I can still be happy while I'm single. I don't get the stigma towards being single and not wanting to date, either. I've never tried to convince any of my friends to stay single or break up with their significant others, so I'm not sure why they can't just let me be.

I'm not sure why people act that way, but I feel your pain with how annoying it is.

PatriarchalOppressor · Answer

People flock in an attack you because that's what our society does when one attempts to disobey gynocentric societal dictates. You'll get the same sort of mocking if you speak against the male only draft, which is gender based human sacrifice of male lives on women's and the state's behalf. There will never be a female-only draft.

Gynocentrism + Courtly Love + Chivalry = Male Disposability

Speak against this and many will attempt to shame you, guilt you and/or ostracize you socially and financially. Men are socially conditioned to be led like sheep to their slaughter at the alter of the vagina, hence the male only draft, significantly harsher criminal punishments for men, why men pay the vast majority of alimony, asset division and child support and why everything on earth is built and maintained primarily by men. War and workplace deaths are 99% male on purpose. Everything is meant to serve women's interests at men's expense. That's why there are dozens upon dozens of state and federal female only programs and none for men.

The men that shame you are worse potential enemies than the women that shame you, for they are totally cucked, blind and brainwashed.

Anonymous · Answer

Eh, I think it's down to the idea that no-one should be "alone"... though I suppose a lack of knowledge about aromantics also comes into play (people who do not experience romantic attraction)... then again, people could also view you as denying a part of yourself if you do experience romantic attraction but refuse to date...
I mean, think about it, whenever anyone enters a relationship they're making themselves vulnerable to their partner, opening up their heart to them... and to an extent, are also at their mercy
Anyway, as I said, everyone does it, so when things go wrong you're not going to get sympathy if it's gone wrong since you voluntarily put yourself into a position where you can have your trust in people completely broken.
So yeah, that'd be why people view refusing to date as a negative thing... unless there's a valid reason i. e. that you're aromantic, people aren't going to view it in a positive light that you're refusing to date... even then, aromantics still don't exactly have their inclination of not being romantically attracted to people viewed highly.

btbc92 · Answer

Because people expect you to be sexual and be sexually interested. And doing so label's you as a jerk, prude, religious, unavailable, must be gay, must be crazy, must have high expectations, etc. What matters is what makes you happy. I get looked down all the time and get a huge lecture about how turning down a date, will leave you single forever and have people assume something is wrong with me. Wow, probably why I don't want to date anybody. Too many crazy judgmental people who assume your anything else but your sexuality.

"Why can't people understand it's good for once to just think about myself and forward my goals?"A simple thing that I learned. They don't CARE to UNDERSTAND. They just want to 'ship the boat' and call it 'it'll be good for you'. It's selfish intentions calling it 'caring'. It's not caring if it's not respect for your wishes, desires, and wants. You owe them nothing. Keep quiet and stop explaining yourself. That's what I learned to do.

nerms123 · Answer

I know a lot of guys who are single and basically career focused. They have friends and occasionally hang out with a few women but they don’t really date or have girlfriends etc. I think how you live your life is your choice but no matter what anyone does there’s always the peanut gallery giving their unwanted opinions.

LesterJester · Answer

It's not a negative thing anymore than anything else. It's a choice based on what you think are priorities in your life.

Even if it was seen as a negative thing, who cares? Who's approval do you need?

If girls see it as a negative thing, so what? It's not like you were going to date them anyways. If other guys think it's a negative thing, what's it matter to them? It doesn't.

If your family thinks it's a negative thing, oh well. They'll get over it.

Some will preach about what is "natural" for a normal human being, and that we're supposed get in relationships, have sex and procreate... But we're already beyond needing survival of the species and we have enough people on the planet.

And as for "Normal", when we have people having every orientation under the sun to choose from, why is this any different?

MrNameless · Answer

"Especially because right after my break up a supposed "friend" tried to screw me over into dating her."

What do you mean screwing over into dating with her? This sounds like a hyperbole.

"Had breakfast with her, I don't even know what to think of it.
She chastised me for ordering a grappa alongside the coffee - apparently liquor at breakfast is "not cool"."

Don't date her then if you don't see a future with her.

I could care less if you don't date. Maybe some people might find it weird, but they'll get used to it. The only people that would care are people that would want to date you, and your family.

CandacePerry · Answer

I have a judgment sister that is older then me. She never understand what I want. She always thinks she the better option then other. I make my own choice since I can. I am more happy to force work since my boyfriend still busy with his family. Here one of my Take.

Mickey9999 · Answer

So who’s attacking you? People on GaG or are you talking your real friends? Real friend I would think would understand you need your time. But who care what anyone else thinks. Just do you. Take your time. Let your recent relationship just fade away and heal. Dating at the moment won’t do you or the female any good. It’s just end up in hurt for both of you.

Rangers · Answer

People always jump to "you're saying that because nobody wants you" especially when guys do it, which makes sense, but it isn't fair to just jump straight to that. It's also not automatically their fault if nobody wants to date him because it could be that he and most girls simply aren't compatible. For instance, I'm a gun enthusiast, owner, I play airsoft, workout, I hustle, I play fps shooters, and I shoot real guns. These interests deviate a ton from girls interests, so of course they don't want to date me! We're taught that we have to be in relationships when that's 100% not the case.

lernulo · Answer

I don't know why people refuses, I know why I refuse those arguments.

To keep it simple, I see not having a relationship to heal a good reason and something necessary what I don't understand is, I have been hurt, I will never go on a date again.
For 2 reasons:
1. Your are deleting the option to have a good couple
2. You don't focus into heal just into Appart from you the girls who may be interested into you.

Said it, after your post, I would say you really need a time, but my advice is to focus into heal yourself and learn about your past relation instead of blaming to her and condemn yourself to ostracism.

devilish-cutie · Answer

i think its basic humany need to want sex and intimacy and some company
saying you dont want that seems like going against the nature (but sure there are celibate people too)
another things is that later on you may realize the benefits of the relationship and regret your decisions
in a way saying "NEVER" is pretty hars cause you dont know what kind of people you might meet
just cause you had bad experience with love it doesn't mean there might not be a person that can show you how great a relationship can be and that is worth it
so in a way its maybe better for you to remain single FOR NOW since noone showed you that is worth it and you obviously didn't met a person for you but i think its better to have an open mind about it so you dont miss things in life for strictly holding onto some "NEVER"

Anonymous · Answer

Because society is incredibly conformist and narrow-minded. they think that everyone has to act in the same way. If you don't conform/fit the norm, everyone judges and critisizes and pressures you to act like the norms dictate...
they don't care about your happiness, they just care about not disrupting the order of the world..
See the answers in this questions? Most of them say you''ll change your mind later and give you unsolicited relationship advice...
there's no explanation... it's just the way society is

megaman242 · Answer

It don't matter if you ever going to date again or not. What do matter is that your happy and trive doing something on your own. The more desperate someone is to not being alone the grater the chance is they will do a mistake and fuck their life up even if it's just for a moment. Also it greaten the chance to date someone completely wrong for you just so you're not alone. Being alone don't mean your lonely, having friends and hobbies and a balanced life is more important then to date someone. If you find someone you are curious about then by all means try to see if it will work. I have not dated for 2 years, that's because I don't see the point if not everything is perfect, I need to feel I'm falling in love and I need to feel they are to, they need to be intelligent, interesting, creative, beautiful, healthy and living close by, if not I will not even try.

MlleCake · Answer

Dude, you're being ridiculous and over dramatic. Cool your jets.

TinawAllison · Answer

It’s basicly up to him or her whether or not a person wants to date. You can’t make someone want to. That’s a decision a person makes.. it doesn’t mean they have a problem maybe they don’t want the drama or what ever the case maybe they don’t want to get involved again who knows. Dating can be fun & the chance of meeting your future husband or wife. Dating is one of the best ways of getting to know someone. The main thing is go have fun time together. If your not into it don’t let someone pressure you. You have the final say.

nonratracereality · Answer

It's because its seen as you're not socialable so you're seen as negative. But to the contrary the majority of people see it this way while the real minority doesn't. Because when all is said and done the end result is what's wrong with you why not what's right with you? They may have had qualities or characteristics that are unbecoming or not conducive for a healthy and nurturing union. If you continue to meet said people then sooner or later your routines will have to change in order to have a better selection of people who fit your category.

Alpha09 · Answer

Because the majority of society feels the need to be in a relationship because it makes them feel secure and complete. Which there is nothing wrong with that at all. But for those of us who prefer being single and going at our own pace, being told we are "afraid of commitment" or "we just want to sleep around" is just ignorant. Those reasons may be true for some but there are plenty of other perfectly good reasons not to date.

SarahsSummer · Answer

making a decision to not date can be a wise one but to add... "for the rest of my life.", thats what gives people pause. Here's an analogy you may or may not relate to. In the past when I've gotten really drunk and sick, I've vowed never to drink again. Well, while that didn't hold true, I have gotten smarter about my alcohol intake. Dating is similar.

PositiveNote · Answer

People are always going to be a risk to have them in a relationship. It's a part of life. I don't like it, either, but your choices are have a close intimate relationship with a person or spend the rest of your life not knowing a person that closely. I choose the latter.

morimeme1 · Answer

It is a good thing to be fine with being alone and having more time for yourself, figure things out, work on you career. Not dying to pursue a relationship or wanting to be on your own for a while is completely fine but shutting out the possibility of dating if someone special comes your way can be destructive. Be open to life and what it brings your way.

Ac211 · Answer

Cause if u refuse to date people will immediately judge u and think that u only want sex. I just don't understand that about this world everyone is so judgmental

rose004b · Answer

Part of the reason is that you get troll comments. You can prevent those users from posting as Anons : "If you want to block an Anonymous user, just click (or tap, for mobile) where it says "Anonymous" on the post and click "Yes" to Block. They will no longer be able to interact with you anonymously on that post and all future posts."

Carbon-12 · Answer

In short, it makes people feel like they aren't good enough.

As for your situation, I don't think she seems like the kind of person you should be dating (if you want to at all). Her pressuring you to go out with her, especially after a break, is a bad sign. Also nitpicking little things like having a drink with breakfast, unless you have an issue with drinks, is also kinda iffy.

If you feel like you need time off from dating, maybe even permanently, that is your decision and you need to make it clear that it is your choice. In my opinion, I think you should try not to think in absolutes. Don't date till you're ready, if that's never great, but don't deny yourself.

TheFlak38 · Answer

It is seen as a negative thing because people will always try to force to do things that you dont like.
They see dating as the norm and expect you to be a part of it. If not, then they'll try to draw you back into the pack without caring if it makes you happy. That's the purpose of the shaming language you get like "you hate women". And calling you mgtow is a badge of honour. A real man always goes his own way. If a woman loves him truly then she'll follow him. See how that woman acted like a bitch during breakfast. That was her way of testing you on your masculinity and how much you put up with other peoples bullshit or not.

Unit1 · Answer

The tendency of hating what they can't have. Don't give it to them 😎 you're the ball holder now.

Good work on regaining your testacles. Never give them away. They're yours.

Your crazy female friend doesn't seem like someone, who you should give a chance but i have to agree, that liquor on a breakfast is really not cool.

I love women and i think MGTOW is ridiculous.

LuWe22 · Answer

It is positive. Focus on yourself and don´t let others influerence you. People should stop hating on people that choose to be single. It´s not a personal attack to any gender it just means that he wants to take his time and do his own thing. By the way who pushes and pressure someone that just get out of a toxic relationship is rude. That is not cool.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

If it has been months or years and you still refuse to date, then I agree that it is slightly negative unless your refusal comes from a positive place (eg focusing on work).

BluesheepOwl · Answer

Because you'll end up alone with your 1000 cats who'll eat your body when you are dead

JDavid25 · Answer

Sounds more like hurt than anything.. It wouldn't be bad if you actually just wanted to focus on betterin yoself and yo career.. But the way you word it, sounds like you just need to heal from gettin burned... Cause you say never again..

paronomasia · Answer

I think people automatically get defensive as a result of rejection, and it can be taken as a personal attack which can be a blow to their self esteem

Anonymous · Answer

it's good to focus on yourself first. but when you achieve everything what you can, you should open your heart to find someone who suit with you.

smg99 · Answer

That’s just bitterness ignore it actually relinquish in its indirect compliment.  Feel satisfied wear a smile for the bitter retorts. Meanwhile I got told off for inappropriate behavior lol 😂

cth96190 · Answer

MGTOW monk is a way forward for men.
Even if you fight your way through the obstacle course of dealing with women and think that you have found ‘the one’, there is a roughly 50 per cent probability that she will arse rape you in divorce court and use child and spousal support orders to make you her impoverished slave for the next 20 years.

Sijbo · Answer

I think it's obvious, it gives the SO the feeling that they aren't attractive enough or that the relationship isn't as true as you thought it was.
BUT! If it is the other SO's very first date (with you) then it is a big step to take. Keep that in mind and start small, like to the movie theatre.
Have patience and don't push it your (first) date will be amazing.

fonduegirl · Answer

solitude as a concept is mistaken for isolation. Isolation is dangerous, no kidding. Dating is the closest of all interpersonal relationships imao, so people who don't participate in it aren't viewed in positive spotlight.

Browneye57 · Answer

You'll come around in few months. No women = no pussy. :)
When you have a girl that tries to correct you, fix you, run YOUR life, you simply tell them to FUCK OFF.
My woman of thirty years simply does not do that. EVER. She never got the nag gene either. It's so bad sometimes I have to get after her for not telling me stuff. LOL
Me: Oh, that was my turn off.
Her: I wondered what you were doing.
:)

lostnightmare · Answer

Because it goes against what society has deemed "normal" or "right". Fuck it though, don't conform to what society says. Just do what ever works best for you, without harming what's around you. ✌🏿

Melshmallow046 · Answer

Not wanting to date again is something you will likely change your mind on once you've had time to process and heal, but that's only speculation on my part and none of my business. There's absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to date if that's what you want, and dating right now would be too soon anyway.

El_Heffe · Answer

You seem over a barrel with palpable angst and trepidation to.
My advice is to never give up as a new relationship can come from any direction including parachuting into your lap. Don't overthink the situation and again please don't give up.

Wowgirl30q · Answer

You think it's good? I see it as niether I guess good or bad.

DiegoO · Answer

Tell them to fuck off, you can date who you want, and whenever you want. Only you can establish who is the right one, and which is the right time for dating. If they continue with that BS I wouldn't call them friends.

cavmanier · Answer

Everything you are feeling is normal and you just need time to get past the pain.

Anonymous · Answer

" it's good for once to just think about myself and forward my goals"
That's literally MGTOW, but okay.
MGTOW doesn't have a membership thing you sign up to or a creed you have to adhere to. It just is.
You're MGTOW when you're doing it and holding the attitude.
Don't get me wrong. I think it's good and focusing on yourself here is good, but let's not kid ourselves, that's MGTOW.

frerardsprincess · Answer

If you think you can be happy without dating then it’s definitely a positive thing, it’s up to the person doing it to decide what’s best for them

sp33d · Answer

Think about it this way, the people who accuse you of so and so have likely not dated a day in their lives. No need to put stock in worthless opinions, hmm?

ronaldo75 · Answer

IT's starting to show itself as a huge blow to women's egos. For years 3rd wave feminists have been patting women on the head and glorifying any women that said "don't need no man to be happy", they wanted men to cry and suffer over this but now that even MEN are saying "yeah I"m not dating either, these millennial women aren't worth the effort" ... no all the sudden we're the bad guys.

Anonymous · Answer

Jeez, everyone has their opinions and preferences at the end of the day. Fuck what anyone else thinks, you do you fella.

Anonymous · Answer

You're just hurt and afraid to be hurt again.. give it some time and let yourself heal. but dont turn down everyone because there may actually be someone who won't fuck you over

itstheimpossiblekid · Answer

Relationships can hurt, nothing wrong with abstaining from karmic circles for a change. If there are consequences so be it.

Liam_Hayden · Answer

I love dating, but you should just do what you want. If dating makes you miserable avoid it and do what you love instead.

lsjr16 · Answer

It is ok if don’t want to date now I am not dating and our society pressures people to hookup with people just to have sex or relationship to feel secure and safe. But it is ok to be single

Why is refusing to date seen as a negative thing?

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Why is refusing to date seen as a negative thing?

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