Do you take offense to someone not dating you because you are either too tall or too short?

[coachTanthony]

Netflix's new teen movie "Tall Girl"

Netflix has a new movie about this very same subject. It's called Tall Girl. Have you seen it? Leave a comment and tell us below!

Yes there is more to me than just my height

No it is their choice

Other (left my "two cents" in the comments below}

see poll (I can barely reach my keyboard here coach)

[WhiteSteve]

Not really an issue for me at 6’2, that seems to work for most women. But short guys, don’t feel bad, I would get DQ’d for something else half the time in my single days: don’t like blond dudes, don’t like white dudes, don’t like stoners, don’t like football players, don’t like the big nose, could be anything, lmao. You die a thousand deaths out here in the field. I feel like that gets lost on a lot of guys, you can’t quit because a few chicks didn’t want you... MOST won’t want you, haha. This isn’t like real life battle, this is Call Of Duty as a shitty player, like 3-to-30 kill/death numbers lmfao. Anyway, another tangent for another day.

I’m not looking but I made a Tinder just to see what the hubbub was about because I’ve been out of the game since ‘07. I’ve seen a few women with “under 5’10 swipe left”, and I’ve seen others say “I’m 5’10 if that matters”, so that seems to be a point of insecurity for some taller women too. And I felt bad when I saw both statements because I know somebody feels bad in the situation, on one end or another. That Long Island dude that freaked out and got toned up in a bagel shop this past summer, he was an asshole, but leading up to that event, I’m like “damn... homeboy has been THROUGH IT.” And I mean he said it right in his tirade, he was sick of women disrespecting him for being short. Totally went about it in the wrong way, but I feel him on some level. So it’s obviously a thing that happens sometimes. Thing is, when I go out in the world I see short guys with wives and gfs, sometimes taller than them even. So I guess all I could hesitantly say from a non-experienced perspective is “keep swinging.” I’d be pretty pissed if someone ruled me out for height, so I get the frustration.

[sparkdog]

How tall do you like your girls?

[WhiteSteve]

@sparkdog I usually go for shorter girls, but I’ve dated girls as tall as 5’11 before. My lady I ended up with is only 5’3 though.

[OlderAndWiser]

I "met" a lady online in 2015 and thought we might be a great match. She responded to my initial inquiry and was very polite but informed me that she is 5' 11" and does not date guys shorter than her. I thought that was an incredibly stupid and shallow reason to not date someone but, of course, if that is how she feels, there is no sense in trying to challenge that. I just accepted it as one more of those stupid things that happen in life and I kept moving on.

[coachTanthony]

Wow...5'11 and you have to be taller... geez that is seriously shallow!

[AmourHoney]

You think it’s shallow but I understand why she would feel that way. She’s probably been told her entire life how tall she is, she probably doesn’t want to be the tall one in the relationship. When I was younger I was the tallest in my class, I always wanted to be around people taller than me so I wouldn’t feel so insecure all the time. But then I stopped growing at 5’5 and now most people are taller than me lmao.

[OlderAndWiser]

@AmourHoney So what if you're the tallest one? Why is that the kiss of death?

[AmourHoney]

That’s just how I felt. You may not feel the same way, but everyone feels and deals with these things differently. For you it may not have been a big deal, but for someone else it could be. Kids can be horrible and that’s where most of these kind of insecurities stem from. You can’t shame someone for their feelings.

[OlderAndWiser]

@AmourHoney Who said anything about shaming someone? Where did that come from?

[AmourHoney]

No, I never said any of you said that. I’m trying to tell you, that some women prefer having a boyfriend that’s taller than them because they’re insecure about their height because they were shamed and bullied for it when growing up. I’m trying to explain maybe that’s why she would prefer to date someone taller than her, because she’s insecure about her height.

[OlderAndWiser]

@AmourHoney I already understood all of that, and I think it is silly to let the bullies from your childhood determine who you will or will not date as an adult.

[AmourHoney]

And that’s what I’m trying to tell you, that’s your feelings about it. Not hers. Everyone deals with it differently. Some people get over it whilst others are deeply affected by it that it carries over into adulthood, and gotta be considerate of that. Because just because you would’ve dealt with it a certain way doesn’t mean everybody would’ve done the same.

[OlderAndWiser]

@AmourHoney Yes, I already understood all of that. There are people who are raised to be racist and they work to overcome that as adults because they understand how important that is. This is not an immutable characteristic. And, yes, obviously I understand that some people choose to not make the effort to make such changes.

[AmourHoney]

See now you’re just sounding ignorant. It’s not something some people can ‘overcome’. People struggle with it more than others. And maybe that’s her trying to make an effort to overcome it? By realising she’s not the tallest person out there, there’s nothing wrong with her having a heigh preference anyway.

[OlderAndWiser]

@AmourHoney

1. I was a mental health counselor for 6 years before I went to law school. I know what can be accomplished and what cannot be accomplished. This is not an impossible matter to resolve if someone is motivated.

2. What I am talking about is not a preference. It is an absolute, ironclad rule. Yes, I have preferences - petite lady, size 4-6, intelligent, etc. But I have dated tall girls, larger girls, some with less intelligence, etc. This woman would not even meet me for a cup of coffee.

[AmourHoney]

Then you should know that not everyone can just overcome it like that, and that this could be her way of dealing with it. I’ve seen 8 counsellors when I was younger and they understood and respected that.

Because that’s YOU, not her. She wasn’t interested because the height was going to be an issue for her, move on. If she wants to date someone taller than her, then what’s the issue?

[AmourHoney]

If you can have a preference of size, then why is her preference of height an issue? Because you don’t fit in within that preference.

[OlderAndWiser]

@AmourHoney I never suggested that absolutely everyone can overcome being a height conscious person. Never.

I also do understand the difference between me and her. I really do.

I don't need encouragement to move on because I did that many years ago. I'm not sure why you think it was some big traumatic event for me but it wasn't. I was on a date with someone else the following weekend.

"If she wants to date someone taller than her, then what’s the issue?" The Asker asked if I took offense to someone not dating me because I am too short and I answered the question. That is what happens on this site. "I took offense" doesn't mean that I sat down and cried about it, whined, insisted that life is not fair, or had a load of chicken manure dumped on her car. I thought it was silly and unfortunate but understood there was nothing I could do about it and I moved forward.

You are coming on far too strong about something that I had not even thought about in years until I read this question.

[AmourHoney]

I never said you did, but you were also stating that if people can over come being racist then she could over come her insecurity as well, you were also making it seem like she didn’t want to make the effort to overcome it. I never said you whines or cried about it. But I was also responding the other reply that called her shallow for that. I don’t want it to seem like I’m trying to ‘accuse’ you of anything. But I was trying to make a point as well to the above commenter that you cannot called someone shallow for having a preference.

[OlderAndWiser]

@AmourHoney Would you call someone shallow for having a racial preference for their friends and acquaintances?

[AmourHoney]

What does that have to do with height and relationships? It doesn’t, not bring friends with someone because of their race is racist yes, but again how does that even come close to preferring to date someone taller than you? Jeez man. That was a reach.

[AmourHoney]

*being

[AmourHoney]

This is what I mean, you’re making it seem like she’s shallow for having that preference but then you just admitted that you have a preference of women of certain weights. How is that fair?

[OlderAndWiser]

@AmourHoney You keep calling her obsession with height a preference. Is was not. It was an absolute, set-in-stone rule with no exceptions, regardless of a guy's other qualifications. My preferences are preferences but, as I said previously, I have dated outside of those preferences many times when there were other aspects of a lady which were sufficiently attractive.

[AmourHoney]

Whatever man.

[OlderAndWiser]

@AmourHoney Gracious concession!

[AmourHoney]

👍🏼👍🏼

[sparkdog]

How tall are you and how tall do you like your girls

[OlderAndWiser]

@sparkdog I am 5' 9" and I prefer petite girls, 5' 0" to 5' 2", but I have dated many women who are 5' 7" to 5' 9"

[sparkdog]

What about 5’10 and up

[OlderAndWiser]

@sparkdog I am not opposed to dating women taller than me and my opinion began with me recalling my effort to get a date with a lady who was 5' 11". I have simply never had the opportunity to date a taller woman, but it would not bother me at all.

[DestinyElizabeth04]

Everyone has their own preferences and not one single person can change that. I have dated a man shorter than me. I was with him for about 7 months I believe, in high school. And to be honest, I hated every minute of it. It wasn't because he was a bad guy and ultimately when we broke up, it had nothing to do with his height but simply a matter of different opinions and view points. We remained friends. But I haven't dated a guy shorter than me since. I didn't like having to lean down to kiss him or how whenever I held his hand it hurt my shoulders and back because I was slouching so much to reach his hand. Mind you, I am really not tall. Im only 5 foot 4 inches. Its just not for some people. I am one of those people. It kind of sucks that we have been conditioned to believe that we have to be accepting of all people and steer clear of judgement and aren't allowed to have certain preferences because it is "offensive" to others. You aren't allowed to live freely without someone bashing you for not accepting something or settling for less than you desire.

[sparkdog]

How tall do you like your guys

[DestinyElizabeth04]

@sparkdog around 5 foot 8 inches to about 5 foot 11 inches.

[sparkdog]

Why not 5’4?

[DestinyElizabeth04]

@sparkdog because I have a preference.

[sparkdog]

Is it a deal breaker?

[DestinyElizabeth04]

@sparkdog no, its not a deal breaker.

[SydneySentinel]

No, not really. I'm pretty used to hearing about how tall I am. Especially in my city/state where the Hispanic population is large, the average male stands 5'7. I'm 5'10.

[coachTanthony]

I would of guessed 5'4. I guess I am a terrible guesser! LOL

[SydneySentinel]

Lol for their height or mine?

[coachTanthony]

Yours! I used to live in Texas I know!

[SydneySentinel]

How can you guess 5'4 just based on talking to me? Lol

[coachTanthony]

You type comments like someone who is 5'4 HA... I don't know I just guessed! LOL

[SydneySentinel]

I figured it must be so! Haha

[Badballie]

That's not so tall my wife is 5'9 I am 5' 11. I have a friend he is 6'1 and she is 6'3 and they are happy.

[sparkdog]

How tall do you like your guys

[SydneySentinel]

I've dated a guy who was 5'8. I'd prefer him to be my height or slightly taller. But height is not of the most important things.

[sparkdog]

Why do you want him to be your height or slightly taller?

[SydneySentinel]

So I can be the little spoon.

[sparkdog]

Why can’t you be the little spoon if he’s shorter?

[ShadezMcgee]

Not exactly, it would only be a problem if we went out a couple of times and she decided to say that was the reason she couldn't be with me.

Otherwise that just tells me the woman is high maintenance and is only looking at crap on a surface level and is probably superficial.

[coachTanthony]

Reject me in the beginning for it not 3 dates in! For sure!

[sparkdog]

How tall are you? How tall do you like your girls?

[ShadezMcgee]

@sparkdog

I am 5' 8". Not tall, but not short either. I prefer my girls around 5' 1" to 5' 10", but I still hit on girls taller than that.

[sparkdog]

What’s the tallest girl you ever dated

[ShadezMcgee]

@sparkdog
The tallest girl I ever went on a date on was 5'9 5' 10

[sparkdog]

What was that like?

[sparkdog]

Did she wear heels?

[ShadezMcgee]

@sparkdog
It was normal to me. And yes, she was in heels, but ultimately nothing more developed between us. Decided to remain friends with her. Had nothing to do with height at the end of the day.

[cth96190]

Everyone has an absolute right to be attracted to whatever they want.
I am 5’8”, which in my generation was average height here in Australia.
My height was not an issue when I tried to date females.
The problem was that they got the tingles for sociopathic bad boys, which I was not.
Their preference for retarded criminal scumbags was their right.
It was also my right to slam the door in their faces (figuratively, although in one clase literally) after they declared that they were ‘ready for a good man’... finally.

[sparkdog]

How tall do you like your girls?

[NineBreaker]

No, but I'm relatively tall, so I've never had that as a cause for rejection.

I think it is unwise to reject someone for their height. However, people are entitled to their preferences. If their preferences are too unrealistic, then it's on them.

I admit though, I might have some bias, but that's my honest opinion.

[coachTanthony]

In the end you still have to be attracted to the person. If height stops you from being attracted then I guess that is what it is!

[sparkdog]

How tall are you? How tall do you like your girls?

[NineBreaker]

@coachTanthony I agree. It is what it is indeed.

I do think that people generally should consider having a more open mind about the more superficial things. Personally, there have been more than one occasion that I meet a girl who initially I might not find attractive, but upon further interaction, things change.

In the end, like I said, people are entitled to their preferences.

[coachTanthony]

I agree dude !

[NineBreaker]

I'm 6'1" which is slighty above average for men generally; within 1 SD of an average of 5'9" or 5'10".

Apparently, the average height for women is 5'5", and at the extreme ( +2 x 3.5" ), women who are taller than 6' are outliers.

I have met very few women who are taller than me.

[ShadowofRegret]

It does not, I prefer a certain type, and if she finds my height unattractive, then she shows she is not my type, and I lose any interest in her, and I honestly do not care if a woman finds me attractive or unattractive if she is not my type.

As for the movie, I never saw it before, but I do not get why tall women are viewed in such a way, to me, a woman who can rest her jaw on my head is ideal.😊

[sparkdog]

How tall are you? How tall do you like your girls?

[ShadowofRegret]

I am 5'3", and I would like someone around 6 feet tall (from my calculations, that would be about right.)

[sparkdog]

Why?

[ShadowofRegret]

This kind of thing makes my heart melt...

[Anonymous]

No everyone is allowed their preferences.

However what I find offensive are those hypocrite women who want to select men on height (aka a physical trait), but they get all pissed off if a man wants to select women based on their weight (also a physical trait).

[coachTanthony]

Wow yeah that definitely happens! wonder if they will respond to this and let us know!

[sparkdog]

How tall are you? How tall do you like your girls?

[Opinion Owner]

I'm 5'11", no preference on height for women

[sparkdog]

Taller, shorter, or same height?

[Opinion Owner]

Did you see that part where i said no preference?

[MrHopper]

i did watch a bit of that and it annoyed me, she's like 6,1? i am 6ft... its not that tall... if she was like 7ft or 6,6 or something i understand.. my girlfriend is 5,12 and her sisters are close to that... plus all the camera angles of her are slanted down low to make her seem taller...

[MrHopper]

5,11 i mean, was thinking lbs when converting, basically almost 6

[sparkdog]

6’1 is super tall for a girl and it’s fairly tall for a guy

[LordSnuggles]

When I was 17 this girl I really liked, Julie, said to me, "you'd be more attractive if you were taller". I was angry for a long time after that because I had been rejected over a characteristic I had no control over like my skin or age. It wasn't fair, I couldn't do anything about it, and I felt I was done an injustice. Looking back I sounded like one of those incel freaks. And indeed if I were more dumb, I'd probably end up like that. I grew up and realizes the dating world isn't fair. People can be stupid and will reject you for reasons you don't understand and they don't owe you an explanation or justification. I worked hard to be a Renaissance man as a result of that experience so it turned out to be good experience. Challenge breeds excellence. So no I don't take offense. Not anymore.

[sparkdog]

How tall are you? How tall do you like your girls?

[LordSnuggles]

I'm 5'3. And I don't have a preference. My tallest girlfriend was 5'11 and my shortest 5'4.

[sparkdog]

What was it like dating a girl that was 5’11?

[mckatowitz]

I would be turned off. I am attracted by personality and then looks. If I don't like their personality it doesn't matter how hot they are. I may have been attracted briefly but the personality is what keeps me or gets me to leave. A person who would not even try to get to know someone because of their height probably has prejudices, self-esteem issues, or other thought processes I am most likely turned off by. In the end, I would sad for them. They are trapping themselves in one mindset. One that could blind them to someone that might have been the love of their life. Making snap judgments is part of being human. Learning to move past those judgments and really seeing someone as who they are is what creates growth in our own souls.

[sparkdog]

How tall are you and how tall do you like your guys

[mckatowitz]

I'm 5'3" I've dated as close to my height as 5'4" and as tall as 6'4". I've had really physically fit dates and men with a little more padding. I usually am drawn to men with nice eyes. Ones you can tell know how to laugh and cry.

[NearlyNapping]

It's their choice. Everyone has their preferences. I'm short. I've never knowingly had someone reject me because of my height, but it's possible. It may be a deal breaker for some women. For a lot more it's a negative.

But the truth is, there are so many women out there it doesn't matter. It's one of many many traits, that you whittle down until you get the one you want. With all the thousands of women out there, there are plenty who are OK with my height.

The thing about height and weight, is that they are immediately visible. If approaching a complete stranger it will have more impact than getting to know someone first. But personally I've never considered my height as a negative.

In reverse, I'd have no problem dating someone who was taller than me. I suppose there is a limit, but I don't know what it is.

[sparkdog]

How tall are you? How tall do you like your girls?

[BlackRoseFairy]

I saw that movie a few days ago... even though I could understand what she was going through, I can't relate to that. I never had a guy outright telling me that he didn't like me because of my height, and I doubt I am going to hear it from now on (people are more mature in this age group - or so I want to believe...)

[Creepazoid]

Never happened to me. But im sure for all those who are voting no are only voting no because they haven't experienced it. Just imagine you kick it off with a guy/girl online, you both are feeling each others vibes and set up a date. Imagine preparing for that date thinking to yourself how amazing that you met a person like this on social media so you get your self sexy wanting to dress to impress you thinking of how you will plan the date ahead of time, and then its time to meet. Now im 5'8 apparently im short for a guy luckily i live in hawaii and this is a very decent height but the stories i hear from and about the mainland? If i were to go through all the motions and emotions of my example just to be turned down for a second date or stood up cause she seen me and didn't think i was tall enough!!! Damn right i would take that personally lol. by the way im not a social media person so I don't know if height is listed on there.

[sparkdog]

How tall do you like your girls

[Creepazoid]

Honestly it really doesn't matter to my as long as they got a pretty face

[sparkdog]

No preference? So taller, shorter, same height?

[Creepazoid]

Just not a midget and I'm cool with that. Girls that may be way taller than me sounds exciting

[YHL6965]

It hurts at first because rejection hurts but, in the end, do I really want to be with someone who is ready to reject love for something as petty as height? Probably not.

[coachTanthony]

No doubt! Agree.

[sparkdog]

How tall are you? How tall do you like your girls?

[YHL6965]

@sparkdog I'm 1,80m tall and I have no preferences when it comes to height.

[Kurαȷ]

I don't take offense, I think every reason to not date someone is a valid reason.

I do think those 5 ft women who say they don't date anyone shorter than 5'11" are silly and I do think to myself that it is probably the result of some sort of an insecurity and that well adjusted individuals should be able to get over arbitrary height differences.
But at the same time, if they don't feel attracted to me, they don't feel attracted to me, whatever their reason might be.

[sparkdog]

How tall are you and how tall do you like your girls

[John1972]

If they dont want to date me because I'm too much of something or too little of it I say I got lucky with that one. If they were to date me anyway I would have to find out latter that they were settling or just an all around vain person, besides it's our choice who we date and why date someone with an attribute you dont like or find atteactive

[sparkdog]

How tall are you and how tall do you like your girls

[John1972]

I'm 5' 11 3/4" so just call it six foot. Brother I love women of all heights she can be 4' 8" or 6' 1" and I'm going to be attracted to them all

[SkipStop]

I wouldn't care. If my height bothered her then she is not right for me. If it bothers all girls then screw them. They don't deserve me.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GMEwZq4wXcw

[sparkdog]

How tall are you and how tall do you like your girls

[SkipStop]

@sparkdog I am 5'8" and prefer girls a few inches shorter than me. It would make me feel like an alpha and she can wear heels. But I would be fine if she was my height or a little taller. As long as we can comfortably hug and kiss without having to bend or stand on our toes, I'm fine.

[LoU_Hades]

190 cm and fit... I have been rejected because I have kids or because of my past, but never hear it's because of my appearance.
I didn't find this offensive, people have some criteria and I can remember the time where a serious relationship with single mother was unacceptable for me.

[sparkdog]

How tall do you like your girls?

[LoU_Hades]

@sparkdog I had never one shorter than 170cm, so i prefer tall girls.

[poneglyphs]

As a guy who is only 5'2 and who has been rejected a lot. Yeah, I do take it personal sometimes, I often feel bad about myself too.

[coachTanthony]

You feel bad because you are 5'2? Or the rejections from it?

[poneglyphs]

Mostly I feel like women never give me a second because they see that I'm small and just brush me off.

[coachTanthony]

Very possible! I am only 5'6 and I have usually dated women who were 5'0 or 5'1. Had a few who were 5'8 but not many! I have had a few that I really liked and they basically said.. I like wearing heels so if you are short don't bother. Those kinds of women you don't want anyway.

[poneglyphs]

I tried dating a girl that was 4'10 she didn't want to date me because I wasn't 6 feet tall. Whenever I try dating women at my height they always say I wish you were taller. So, I can never win

[coachTanthony]

Yeah if somebody said that to me I would of said well I wish you were funnier! I guess we can't have it all! Want to get some icecream? LOL

[coachTanthony]

the key is to never allow them to see that it bothers you. Come right back!

[poneglyphs]

alright I will try not to let it bother me. I know it will be hard

[sparkdog]

How tall do you like your girls

[poneglyphs]

@sparkdog I try to date girls who are shorter than me or a little taller 5'7 is my max. At least I think they are 5'7?

[sparkdog]

Why?

[poneglyphs]

@sparkdog cuz Why not

[sparkdog]

So you wouldn’t date a girl taller than 5’7?

[poneglyphs]

@sparkdog if we both find each other attractive, then sure I will date them.

[PeteyB]

Lol had a friend come up to me and say she started dating a guy that's almost exactly like me but taller. I made fun of her for being heightist

[sparkdog]

How tall are you? How tall do you like your girls?

[PeteyB]

I'm like 5'4 and personally I don't really care. For the sake of fun I like being able to pick up my girlfriend, but height? As long as it works out physically I'm ok

[Bananaman177]

I figure if that's their criterion for judging other people's worth, I'm better off without them in my life.

Shallow people tend to be weak allies, and as any strategist worth his salt would know, a weak ally is more to be feared than a strong enemy.

[sparkdog]

How tall are you and how tall do you like your girls

[Bananaman177]

@sparkdog I'm average height and have no preference regarding female height.

[Moonchild714]

No, I move on. I won't date someone over a certain height or weight so how can I get offended. Even if I didn't have my own preferences I still wouldn't get offended for someone's elses choices.

[sparkdog]

How tall are you? How tall do you like your guys?

[Moonchild714]

@sparkdog, I'm 5 feet my men no taller than 6 feet.