I am 5'6 and I have had plenty of women say NO WAY you are way too short. Now how does that make me feel? Indifferent to be honest. I get it. It's not shallow it's simply a preference. It would be the same if a woman was 6'4. Shouldn't I be allowed to say that is too tall? If you are seeking someone to spend the rest of your life with you better know what you want and don't be ashamed to go after it. Societies opinion doesn't count when it comes to what YOU WANT.
👏 this man gets it
@Cynicaldreamer u believe him hahaha come on
Yea he gets that he doesn't have a choice...
u I have never heard a height queen say that guys shorter than her are not attractive. Most girls who worry about height are concerned about how it appears to others and they are concerned about how it looks when they wear high heels, etc. It is an obsession with how it appears to others.
So how can I stop worrying about how others would think of me?
I cannot tell you, in 25 words or less, how to develop self-confidence.
Girl, you have to own it and be comfortable in your skin. I've done it and loved the stares and so did he. He had a winning personality, too.
I think you might lose opportunity with some amazing men none of us got to choose our height... plus a lot more important things in life.. you could find a tall guy be everything you could ask for but could have an accident and now can't walk would you leave him cause he is now shorter?
I wouldn't leave him because he ended up with a disability.
Im happy to hear that!
Because you think it's traditional for a man to be taller than the girl. That's shallow. If it's your preference, then don't let that dictate what kind of person you want. Would it bother you if he was an inch taller than you or does he have to be as tall as the building?
Idc as long as he's taller than me. I don't like super tall guys, just taller guys. I dont want to be with someone who's above 6 ft.
Opinion
79Opinion
Because it isn't what makes them a good partner and compatible with you.
Besides, you would have to be really tall to seem like a giant next to even a shorter guy.
I've provided the definition of the word "shallow" in order to help you understand it's meaning so that you can see it too.
Everyone has a right to their opinion, as well as, to their preferences. Just because you feel entitled to your preferences does not mean that you are an exception that's void of the factual meaning of word "shallow".
I will further explain why having a limiting preference is defined as shallow. Having a preference for a specific anything is limiting behavior considered (positive/reverse) discrimination/favoritism/bias/prejudice/etc (you know your synonyms, right?). If this is part of your grocery list of what you need in order to love another. What you are experiencing is conditional love or "practical" love. This is the practice of limiting to benefit yourself. It's opportunistic behavior, it's exploitive... Another word for "exploitive" is "utilizing" (if you are blind to harsh truths and can't accept something about yourself that you deem as "bad")
If you feel bad about it, that's on you. Maybe don't judge yourself or others, but you cannot ignore facts. No one is perfect and we all experience a balance of polarity where we have some "bad" and "good" traits. Learn to accept yourself, but definitely don't hide from the truth because you'll only be hurting yourself.
I have "bad" traits, it's all subjective to different people. What someone says about me doesn't mean it's my truth, same goes for you and everyone else. It just means that is someones limited experience of me or you and it's okay. Not everyone is going to know everything about us and if someone is going to limit you by labeling you, they are also limiting themselves. There is no need to feel like you've won in every situation or with every person.
"You may be the juiciest peach but not everyone is going to like peaches" - dita von tease.
It's just part of life. You can't please everyone and no one is going to 100% please you. It would be unwise to expect perfection from anyone. Superiority is a complex based on a fragmented internal self in order to find a sense of control in order to feel safe. No one is safe. Not me, not you lmao. Just find your internal peace because you can't control others behaviors. good luck <3
because your ignoring EVERYTHING else about the person. You don't care about the personality, what kind of man he is, you care that he is tall and that's it everything else is the "icing on the cake" so to speak instead of everything else being a requirement and him being tall is the icing on the cake. Now most wouldn't care that much if it where not for the fact that because your fixating on an immutable characteristic that doesn't suggest anything else about his character (for instance, if a woman is obese, that suggests she is unhealthy, that she is probably not particularly motivated etc. A man being short suggests absolutely nothing, he is just short). So what that says is that your not really their for him, if something where to happen and he was in an accident, would you stick around if said accident affected his height? No, no you wouldn't because again, that was your priority. Its the fact that its a priority and it supersedes everything else that makes it shallow. Again, no different then a man who only cares about a womans looks, she has to be perfect then we can guess rather accurately that the second she stops having that singular trait, he will abandon her and people cannot trust that kind of person. Personally I don't care what you do, I only hope that you are judged in the same exacting fashion as you judge others, as long as your fine with that outcome I personally don't care.
@Berethor Not saying it is, I'm saying that if only one trait matters, the loss of that trait will result in the dissolution of the relationship. That means you cannot truly trust them, its like being rich and only being with them so long as they have money, you don't really care about them, you care about their money.
@hellionthesagereborn an lose of money is something that is more likely to happen than an accident that effect an guy height and/or mobility, permanently. Also an guy's height is actually part of the guy's body, unlike his money, and it's an height is likely to remain with the guy even when he become an old man, unlike other attractive features that tend to get less potent because of old age, it means that a tall man can trust women who want tall men more than women can trust men who are with them because of their beauty, which is basically most men, even among those who don't admit it, and also you trying to ignore the fact that tall men have an tall/strong genes, so even if something very bad would happen to the tall men, at least a woman would an tall children from him, women tend to be looking for the best genes for their children, and a tall man is providing them.
tvtropes.org/.../MenGetOldWomenGetReplaced
@Berethor OBVIOUSLY. It was an example. It wasn't meant to be taken as something that is most definitely going to happen so I'm not sure why that is how you took it. It was a hypothetical situation to highlight why some one would find it off putting having their entire worth being placed upon a singular immutable and unchosen trait. As for height, actually people "shrink" as they grow older as the cartilidge in the spine wears down. As for height being genetic, not really. Most studies have concluded it has to do with at least in part nutrition at a young age not actual genetics hence shorter people tending to be the norm in third world nations comparative to the average height being greater in first world nations. Also the notion that "tall" is a desirable trait is rather idiotically stupid. I mean seriously idiotic. Unless your playing basketball height does not affect anything, in fact one has a better argument for it being a detriment as it can increase risk of heart failure, generally results in greater weight on the knees resulting in knee problems, from a combat perspective it puts their center of gravity higher then the average person making it easier to drag them to the groung and push them off balance etc. So no, your incorrect on pretty much every level. I'm so very sorry you where offended by this and it made you insecure about yourself, but I was just stating the reasons why a woman only caring about height is generally frowned upon by men.
@Cherry234 I wasn't rude. I stated that wanting some one for one singular trait puts people off. I then proceeded to state, and I quote, " Personally I don't care what you do, I only hope that you are judged in the same exacting fashion as you judge others, as long as your fine with that outcome I personally don't care.".
The only way that statement can be seen as rude is if you believe what she is doing is wrong as I stated that her standards should be applied to her and she should accept it. If she doesn't like that then her standards are wrong. That isn't rude, its a statement of fact, just don't be a hypocrit when someone else does to you that you do to others and I won't particularly care, its the hypocrisy of it that irritates me not the act itself.
Mhhh, it's just a preference or shallow according to how the person behaves about it.
If a person tends to almost always date tall people they have a preference for tall people, and probably between a short and a tall person would feel more attraction for the tall. However, that doesn't mean they have never felt attraction or could never feel attraction for someone short. In case of not liking someone short would never be only because of height and would usually be other reasons aside (also physical but may be psychological too) to reject them. That's preference.
A shallow person denies instantly the possibility of liking something outside their main preference. They don't let attraction happen subconsciously and natural, they try to control their feelings instead of let them flow. A shallow person would reject a person because of height even if the rest of that person it's very attractive according to their ideal partner. Shallow people don't have a preference, have a severe fetish or obsession with a quality. However it's a free world, they can be shallow if they want.
I think I might not used the best words to express my thought. I wasn't meaning controlling in a sense of beign aware and hiding or showing feelings moderately with intelligence, which is always good. Probably a better word to what I was trying to picture would be "denial of feelings" instead of "control of feelings".
Curious: should people just date someone...because they are shorter, and for that reason alone? I mean, if we're going to yell about a guy being tall, then I'm going to yell about a guy being short. Should we "have to" give everyone in the world a shot at dating us no matter what their thing is just because they exist and that would be fair to everyone. (Hold for sarcasm).
You are the only person who gets to decide who you date. Call it shallow, call it whatever you want, but you cannot force anyone to like anything they just don't like. You don't see me going into the zoo and yelling at a Walrus for picking the biggest fastest strongest Walrus over the weaker smaller ones because all animals select traits that they like and that will biologically speaking, help their future generations to survive and get the upper leg in life. For all the (fill in the blanks) complaining about this---if you know yourself that being short or any other thing that doesn't exactly get your dozens of dates, and that has been a detriment to your dating life---why are you so surprised that a woman wouldn't want to date you based on that? Talk to small boob women, and extremely tall women, and obese women, and people with severe acne---these are traits that don't tend to put one at the top of the dating food chain visually, but certain traits are, and each culture decides what those things are.
Life has never been fair and like everyone else, you just try to do the best you can and hope for the best in life or that you'll find that someone who does like 100% you.
Yes unattractive people are trying to guilt an people with standards into dating them.
tvtropes.org/.../ExtremeOmnisexual
I don't mind girls who don't want to date guys shorter than you, since statistically there will always be girls for the overwhelming majority of guys, as girls oj average are shorter.
My problem is when shortnor average girls pine for tall dudes only, and never even considee guys that are as tall as them or slightly taller. This megalomania takes away possible short women from short (but still taller than the girl) men, and it leaves tall women without a partner too.
Size queens ruin things for everyone else.
Not at all, age is more important than other traits. If you were under 18, a mostly amazing guy, and 5'7", I would consider it.
Whether or not I date someone depends on their personality. If they don't have a good personality I'm not going to date them, short or not. I'm not about to date ANYBODY just because of his height. He needs to have a MOSTLY ideal personality (which is what I meant when I said "a MOSTLY amazing guy") and then I'd stop caring about his height and other traits. Am I supposed to date him just because he's 5'7 and ignore the fact that he's probably an asshole? Idc what height you are, if you don't have a good personality I don't want you periodt. Whether or not I fulfill someone's standards is up to whoever wants a relationship with me. Some might think I'd be a good girlfriend but maybe I'm not a good girlfriend to other people.
A bad personality is a dealbreaker. Not height.
Most people do not have my ideal dating personality. Good = my ideal and my ideal = good. Someone having a good personality is extraordinary on it's own.
I meant everything I said.
So, first you say "it's traditional" meaning "it's expected by other people", but then you ask "why can't it be a preference?", so now you've shifted the domain of judgment from other people to yourself. Like, are you demanding of yourself that you gravitate ONLY towards taller men because that's what you prefer or because you are desperate to reinforce into your life the stereotype that "women only date men taller than them" in order to "fit in"?
It would seem like the latter, because social validation is a strong motivator. After all, "if everyone jumped off a bridge and I want to be like everyone else, I should jump off as well..." but I'm curious to see how you respond.
It's both, taller guys are more attractive to me but I'd feel weird dating a guy who is noticeably shorter than me.
@Investigator in many cases people's preferences based on both nature and nurture.
tvtropes.org/.../NatureVersusNurture
Probably because unlike weight, people can't change their height.
It's naturally for people to feel aggrieved at being excluded from a potential relationship because of something outside their control - like their height, or skin color, or the shape of their nose, or perhaps because of the shadowy history of their family members. They could be the most intelligent, most courageous, most virtuous person in the entire word, yet can be completely undone in the dating department because unfortunately, God decided to make them 5'.
Having said that, humans will be humans. Short men who complain that women don't want to date them may rail against the unfairness of it all, but all complaining does, and will ever do, is give them a sore throat. Is it unfair for them to be judged on something they can't control? Sure. But as everyone knows, life is unfair. The best they can do is make the most out of the hand they've been dealt.
*It's natural...
Because this is coming from the thought of how you LOOK mainly to others and also yourself, instead of focusing on internal things like how he makes you FEEL or how capable or courageous he is so he could give you the protection that you might need, height just gives a false feeling of being protected. What will I do with a six feet tall man that runs away from danger?
Preference is another thing. I also prefer taller man. But rejecting someone because they aren't your preferred height is normally what's deemed as shallow, though I don't think this applies to dwarf people.
But then, no use of forcing yourself to be with a person you don't prefer or like simply because you don't wanna force yourself to prove that you aren't shallow. Seriously, just be with someone that genuinely makes you happy even if the person isn't necessarily 100% your preference, you don't have to prove anything to others
I don't think that a strong looking man is likely to be a coward, also an weak men are usually actually weak, and even those of them who are not cowards are still physically weak.
tvtropes.org/.../WomenPreferStrongMen
tvtropes.org/.../MusclesAreMeaningless
Only because being physically strong gives an illusion of a guy being overall stronger it doesn't mean that it's guaranteed that he is mentally strong as well. Whereas even a physically weaker man could be mentally and spiritually stronger, which is what we need the most. Thanks for joining my TED talk.
Actually it's not only a matter of tradition but it's also biological, men tend to be naturally taller than women, that's why it's looks odd and unmasculine when a man is shorter than a woman. Some people think that only men are allowed to be "shallow", and even though most women prefer tall men, many women don't like to talk about it, they are rejecting an short guys and say that it's because of their personality.
tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OneHeadTaller
tvtropes.org/.../MenAreStrongWomenArePretty
Because someone's height is not a factor that contributes to their well-being, their personality, or their emotions. It's completely genetic. If you're short... you're short. If you're tall... you're tall. Nothing can be done about it.
Some things I understand. Maybe a girl prefers muscular men. Muscles are something a person can achieve. And it shows he works out and is healthy.
Height though? Height has nothing to do with someone's life. It's just the way you're born.
So yeah... TOTALLY shallow. You can meet a great short guy... you can meet a great tall guy.
Because it is shallow. It's a preference but still shallow. Just like a guy would definitely be called shallow for rejecting a girl just because her boobs are smaller than he prefers. Why are women so obsessed with height anyway? A lot don't just want the guy to be taller. They want him to be x amount of inches taller. I've heard so many short women talk about how they're only attracted to guys 6ft and up
I just prefer for him to be taller. I wouldn't leave him if he was an amazing but short guy. I'd just have a hard time adjusting to his height if he was shorter.
I get it, and I have no problem with it. Woman usually want a taller man, and men usually want a shorter woman. It all works out in the end.
Now, would it be a double standard to criticize a man who says he wants a girl with a big butt or big breasts?
If she seems like she'd be an amazing girlfriend (personality wise) but doesn't have a big butt or breasts, would he leave her? If so, then he's shallow so I'd criticize him. If he wouldn't leave her, then he's not worthy of being criticized.
If I met an amazing guy who was shorter than me, I wouldn't leave him. I don't know about other women. If she leaves him then she's shallow.
Thanks, I have the best moral system in the world, man.
Tip: I taught myself these morals, so you should do the same. If a kid can do it so can you.
What do u mean?
I guess the good foundation?
Well men are frequently called shallow for not wanting to date women based on their weight which is usually a result of their own life choices and within their power to change. Meanwhile height is genetic and can't be changed without an extremely expensive, painful, and risky surgery.
So from my perspective, refusing to date a guy based on his height should at the very least be considered equally as shallow as refusing to date a girl based on her weight.
It shouldn't be shallow at all to not want to be with someone because of their weight. I dont think its shallow to not want to be with someone because of their weight.
Any time these days you express a preference on a physical characteristic about your partner someone will think its shallow.
When you say you wouldn't date a transgender, you're shallow. You like blondes? you're shallow. Prefer physically fit... you're shallow.
The answer is do whatever you want... when people say you're shallow. You just say, sure if you say so.
So, you use the justification that it's OK because "it's traditional"? How do you think it would go over with most women, especially feminists, if men used that very same justification for the expectations they have about women?
Gotta love the hypocrisy and double standards of women today.
When I said traditional I should have said socially acceptable ("the norm"). Thats what I meant. I don't care what other people prefer in a partner. None of my business.
It can be a preferance, but it IS shallow since it's not something he can change, it's just what it looks like. there are many couples of same height or when a girl is taller, noone cares. if you don't like shorter guys, no big deal, just don't be offended is someone doesn't want to date you because something lacks in your appearance.
Nothing wrong with preferring a taller guy. It's only when a girl has a minimum amount of inches taller he has to be. That's when it's shallow. No one got to choose how tall they are. I mean, on the other side of the spectrum, I'd have zero issue dating a girl taller than me.
I don't care about height. In my opinion though, I think it's more intimate when couple are closer in height for obvious reasons. Plus, things line up much better 😉😉
Exactly I want a guy who's taller than me but closer to my height because it seems more intimate. I'm not asking for a super tall guy, just someone who's taller or someone who's not noticeably shorter than me.
Yeah. There's nothing wrong about that.
Height is such a small, superficial part of a person and shouldn’t affect your relationship that much. Having a preference for tall men is fine but turning away a perfectly suitable guy for no other reason than his height would be pretty shallow.
@cavmanier We all have preferences for physical traits and I think that’s fine, but it sounds like this girl refuses to date anyone who doesn’t meet her height requirement. That’s such a small thing to reject someone over and I do think it’s shallow.
@Berethor I know, but this girl is asking for people’s personal opinions and personally I don’t care about height as much as she does. That’s why I think it would be shallow for her to reject someone solely based on height.
@cavmanier Of course, so it applies to what I said.
@cavmanier Of course, so it applies to what I was saying.
@cavmanier Yeah, and I’m telling her what I value because she’s asking why people believe she’s shallow.
I don't think that's shallow at all. It's a personal preference and there's nothing wrong with that. It looks odd if a guy is shorter than a girl. Majority of the ones who complain about a PREFERENCE are probably just short guys themselves who are insecure about it
Everyone has a preference, so don't feel bad about yours! Although your preference is one that is pretty common, there are some girls that prefer shorter guys or just don't care. There's someone out there for everyone, and there's nothing wrong with having preferences for what you want that someone to be!
All these guys getting offended must be the short ones😂 And I feel the same, not so much as it's traditional but more because if I was taller it would make me feel like I was the 'man' in the relationship. I don't want to be a protector, I want to be protected if that makes sense. Having him shorter than me would really screw up my sense of who is more dominant
Just because a woman is taller doesn't mean she is physically stronger than him.
I never said that did I? I just said I don't like being the more dominant one and that's what it feels like if I'm taller than someone.
I guess I should have used the word dominant then to make my point.
it's as shallow as not wanting to date someone with small breasts.
those are the primary markers of fertility (among other things) and if you don't have those, people will feel less of an urge to procreate with you. this primal biology but since many people feel like we're so much better as animals (which we aren't), they assume we should be "better than that" and define such behavior as "low".
Never seen a male dog check out his females dogs tits to make puppies. Or cats or cows. Society has made breasts a sexual thing and not just a part of animal instinct to feed a baby. Wowzers.
@Thedivinechic a male dog doesn't check out a female dogs tits, because female dogs pretty much as any other species doesn't grow excessive fatty tissue in the chest to have big tits in order to attract males. i'm no expert on dogs but dogs will have other fertility markers that they look for, as they differ from species to species for dogs i could imagine it would be more of a smell thing than a "looks" thing. for humans, it is the tits, for some birds, it's the size of their cockscomb or the redishness of their belly,, so:
Tl;dr: it's different markers for every species but the mechanism is still the same.
in fact it is by comparison that we know there is no biological reasons for humans having "tits" other than it being an attractiveness marker, cause functionally, even the smallest breast will easily feed a baby.
I know but imagine cats and dogs checking out boobies to mate? I guess they are smarter than us lol
@Thedivinechic they are indeed smarter than us in a way. they go for their species versions of "tits, ass, hight" or whatever and they don't act like they're better xD they just go for it, knowing who they are, not living in denial just to feel sophisticated.
@jessture it's funny actually, cause i got into a drunk argument with a girl, cause i said something like "ugh why are all chicks on tinder fat and ugly except the fake ones?" which got her super triggered, calling me superficial asshole... but when i asked how it comes that her boyfriend wasn't fat and ugly, she didn't find a good answer to that xD
There's a youtube video other there where they interview a ton of women and ask what they felt about men selecting women based on breast and butt size. Cue the whining, complaining, etc. They then asked the same women if height is important to them and they all gleefully said yes, the guy has to be taller.
Best part is when the interviewer ask why women can have preferences but not men and they all just sit there in stunned silence, I laughed so hard
Meow. Woof. Moo lol
@Thedivinechic you got it xD
You can always get your boobs done tho
@Thedivinechic yes you can and now you know why women do it and men don't like it right?
I don't really see it as shallow, but it does hurt to be rejected because of something that a man can't do anything about. Same if it were a woman and a guy says I only date white girls or I only date petite girls or she has to have big boobs or it's a deal breaker. Those are things a girl has no control over and it hurts because it doesn't matter how good you are, just because of one of those things, you are rejected.
It is shallow but so is the initial stages of the dating process. There's nothing wrong with it. It is wha tit is.
Thing is though there is a difference between preferences and standards and for a lot of women their preferences = their standards. If one box is unchecked then the guy is no good. If a woman is like this she's is only hurting herself and undermining her own happiness in the end.
The perfect mate doesn't exist and they should keep true core standards (important things) while compromising a bit on preferences. Though if a woman doesn't men should respect that and honestly not care. Mainly because she's living the life she wants and whether or not it works out for her and makes her happy or makes her miserable it's really nobody else's concern.
So full disclosure : I am 6 ft and have a shorter girlfriend.
However, I think considering height is stupid since it is completely about how you are seen in public and in photographs. These should be at best peripheral concerns, compared to mutual attraction and compatabity.
It's pretty hard for a guy to be shorter than me, being 5'2. That said, even being the same height as me or one or two inches taller is kind of a turn off. I wouldn't want to date them unless they really impressed me in some way. Maybe it is shallow, but attraction is attraction.
It is shallow because there is almost nothing you can do about your height, no workout, no food, not even drugs.
Almost all other factors are controllable to an extent, height on the other hand can't. Even gender can be solved with a sex change/hormone procedure.
That being said, nothing wrong with having a preference, but it is unmistakably, shallow as a street puddle.
I'm so sad:( I like taller girls, taller girls are awsome. Why can't you share your awsomeness with someone who'se... shall we say... height challenged? What if he loved you that much more to make up for it, or even better?:) What if he valued you more, would it change you're impression?
It is a preference. I'm calling this heightism until you change your mind...;)
@Berethor I'm being a little funny in writing, hope she got that, sometims doesn't come across. Some short guys cast a strong power image (Napoleon?). It's her preference for whatever her reasons:) e. g. I had a girl 5'8, with heels whatever... and she didn't go for me because I'm shorter a notch. I was bummed! that's life...
I don't know why people are so bent out of shape about height preferences being shallow, because a face's attractiveness or someone's built (not weight) are equally shallow since you can't control those things either.
Being shallow is focusing on things that don't really matter, especially looks. And that's exactly what you're doing. There are other things that are way more important to look for in a partner. Height is irrelevant.
Girl, it’s shallow 😂 it may be traditional and socially acceptable but it is still shallow behavior. What you want is definitely a preference, but it’s still shallow 👀 nothing you can do about that. It is what it is.
It's seen as shallow because it is shallow.
You could meet some amazing guy with the best chemistry, super appealing in looks, wonderful person, etc. and you are going to cross them out as a potential partner because he's a few inches shorter than you'd like?
You can have whatever you want as a preference, but once those preferences start becoming a long list of deal breakers, then you will have some pretty slim pickings.
Height shouldn't matter. It doesn't to me. Do I have a general preference, sure, but it's never a "deal breaker". I'd never reject someone based solely on their height. It would be like rejecting them or anything else physical, breast/penis size, weight, hair color/style etc. It has nothing to do with the type of person they are and that is what's important (for me).
Because it is shallow!
You can't redefine what is shallow just because you don't like the word or the meaning.
Still it's your choice to have that preference.
You have to rethink have overseeing and accept of others that is uncomfortable for you otherwise are you a hippocrit.
Would u say its shallow to not want to date a midget?
Depends on the real reasons.
It doesn't matter if it is or not. it's the person's choice, that person should be okay with their choice otherwise is it a choice they shouldn't have made.
with other words if that person get internal conflicts that person should rethink the whole thing and skip the justification going in in their mind to make it feel right when it isn't.
So why is it shallow to not want to date a midget but it is shallow to want someone to be over a certain height
I just think its dumb because when I was growing up my mom was 5'10" and my dad was 5'7" so I was raised in a house where the woman was taller than the man so height differences never really mattered to me and I dont have a preference on tall or short girls.
Women generally scoff at men for having physical preferences. But yet their, and your, first requirement is usually height.
So in other words, women like to tell men we are awful people for having preferences on breast size and overall body shape, but then they want to have their own preferences.
Nothing wrong with it, we just hear from women constantly that selecting people on physical preferences is mean, just to watch women select based on physical preferences
That's how feminism works, many women have an fairly big case of 'moral myopia'. :)
tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MoralMyopia
not sure what you look like in real life but say if you're are obese and weight over 200lbs. how would you feel if you're crush or someone you want to date suddenly reject or evade you because you're "too fat?"
is obviously not gonna make you feel good. but if you think about it expecting your crush to be short could be a lot miserable because if you're obese you can simply change that exercising and changing what you eat. you height in other hand you can't really change
It's fine to have preferences. I'm 6' and I prefer girls 5' to 5' 4" the most. Anything above 5' 8" starts to take away from her attractiveness to me, and anything below 5' 4" adds to a girl's attractiveness to me.
Having preferences is perfectly fine. I think it would actually be worse to be with someone that you didn't like their height because then you would always be disappointed and they would realize you would never actually be content with them.
It's a preference which you are entitled to have.
But it's shallow because the guy may tick every other box you want in a relationship yet you'll refuse him on the face value of height.
Having preferences is fine.
But having too many requirements isn't.
The difference being preferences are things you want but could live without 1 or 2. Requirements you can't live without.
People aren't made to order, most people won't tick all your boxes yet can still be great partners.
So you say it's "not fine," but what does that entail?
Because it is shallow. There is no getting around that reality. My ex from years ago is 5'3 and I'm 5'5 and love to wear heels. Sex in doggy was awkward but hey lol
Because some people can't accept that you have a preference. The people who get uptight about it also have their own criteria that they filter people out by. Don't listen to what they say. I wouldn't date someone who is much shorter than me but I could go an inch shorter if I really like him. It's your life and you decide who you want to spend your time with
I think it’s just generally seen as shitty to judge people for things they have no worldly ability to change. But it’s your life you do you. I guess some people are just a lot more shite and judgy then others
Same reason it'd be shallow to only want a girl with big boobs. You can't help what you're born with. With that said everyone is shallow. Some are more than others is all, just accept you're a bit shallow like the rest of us.
Same reason women say it's shallow to want a girl who is not fat.
But she can lose weight. He can't gain height.
Most girls who are fat don't care enough to lose weight for you.
What if she was your mostly ideal (personality wise) girl but she's fat, would u still date her?
Personality is great. But if the attraction isn't there--how is a relationship going to last? Otherwise its friendship.
True
This is why I've given up on women, too high standards.
Are u gay then?
No I'm straight
its seen that way because it is something that can't be controlled or fixed buy a cosmetic change. but you're still allowed to have your preferences. don't let peoples feelings influence who you give yourself to.
If a girl doesn't want to date me based on my height, then I know they aren't the right person for me.
However, people always base their preferences off of experiences and observations, meaning that nobody actually knows that they don't like short men, they are just insistent on not pursuing or being pursued by them based on implicit bias.
"Why can't it be a preference?" they aren't mutually exclusive. It is a preference and it is considered shallow by many people.
By the way, I have no issue with preferences somebody may have for dating as long as all parties are consenting adults. I would rather somebody date a person they are attracted to than someone they aren't because society tells them they can't discriminate or because their reasons are shallow.
I don't think it's shallow I think it can be a preference. It might just be something you're comfortable with and brings you a sense of security.
Its fine as long as it is your preference.
But if you are distancing someone for the sole reason of them being not tall enough, only then it is considered shallow.
I can understand having a minimal standard for attractiveness but requiring someone to tower over you is bizarre and illogical to me. If I apply a similar standard then I will be turning down way too many people that could rock my world.
I've never dated a girl who was taller than me, but I would not have a problem dating a girl who was taller. I'm taller than the great majority of girls.
Well, I'm 5'6 so dating someone shorter than me would be too much..
You think, you're short? Try 4'6 😂
Sorry I'm not gonna date a 5'4-5'5 guy
I don't find that physically attractive
Even if he was an amazing guy (personality wise)?
Yes there's a limit to everything. You can't have sex with someone you don't find physically attractive.
If he has a good personality, he can be a good friend but not a partner
That is the standard but being 4'6 it's a bit silly if I date simeone that tall
@milantb1 I didn't say that a guy has to be over 6ft but there's no way I'm dating someone that short either (5'4-5'5)..
Because you’re disqualifying someone as dating potential solely because of their physical height. It’s not that you’re not entitled to it, but it is shallow.
Because height is purely a physical trait that doesn't have any real benefits, and choosing a partner based on such superficial things is the definition of shallow. And all this is coming from a 6'3 guy.
At least you are not asking for your SO to be rich, or a body builder. You are allowed to have your preferences.
It is shallow... but you can't control what you like..
It's like these idiotic trannies that say you're transphobic if you prefer biological woman to a man that chose to mutilate him self.
Because you're choosing not to date someone based on something they have no control over
Because I'd be called a prick if I said I don't want to be with a fatass.
But he/she can lose weight. people can't change their height so it's shallow.
It depends. Let's say you meet a woman who has most of your ideal personality traits in a woman but unfortunately she's a big girl, would you still date her?
I am not sure, and how big she is? anyway it's @Lord_Thy_Gawd who is having more problem with fat girls than myself, so I think that he is the one who should be answering on that.
@berethor you're the one who asked. She's obese by the way.
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