I'm guilty of this but sometimes it's for valid reasons. Like do I have to spell everything out for you?
I admit sometimes I do this when I'm trying to figure a situation out for myself and there's a guy involved who I'm getting to know. Like I guess I subconsciously test him for some reason which I honestly can't really defend.
But if you know me properly, I shouldn't have to spell everything out for you.
But at the end of the day, men can't mind read, and if they're trying to figure you out, they'll go off what you're giving out. so sometimes it's better to just say it, girls
I think a lot of women have trouble saying exactly what they want without feeling “demanding/aggressive”. So they’ll say the soft version of what they’re thinking/feeling and hope that you can fill in the blanks.
Women aren’t encouraged to be outspoken when they’re little. So they grow up being passive and quiet. So that’s how they communicate.
That’s just what I’ve observed. It’s very common for me to talk to women who say a lot of contradictory things or answer yes and no to a question.
Do you want to go to X to eat?
We can if you want but I really like Y.
She agreed with you while at the same time disagreeing with you subtly.
I think women do this to avoid hurting feelings or coming off as rude. It’s not necessarily that they want you to read their minds. They want to save your feelings but at the same time they try to express their own and it makes what they say very confusing
No we don’t. We expect y’all to pick up on obvious language, signs, hints. Even when we flat out tell y’all exactly what we mean. Y’all still act confused. (Sigh) I think SOME men just have a harder time understanding things form females. Because a woman can say something to her friends and they will understand it clearly. But if she tells her man the exact same thing he will be stumped.
Ofcourse your girl is going to u understand it. She's a girl like you. Men and woman think different. There is only so many signs we pickup on. I think the problem is the fact we think different and we get stressed when our other half doesn't understand.
Here's the thing, it's obvious to YOU, not to us. Communication requires both parties to work together, if they are not on the same page, it can't work. How can you expect to actually communicate with someone who does not speak the same language as you for example? Sure what you're saying is obvious to you, but not so much for them.
@YHL6965 but why haven’t men adapted to understanding us better? And by that I mean straight men, because gay guys understand what we mean. It sometimes seems like men operate and take in information at a slower pace. Because I just don’t understand how things can make sense to females and gay guys. But straight men act as if we’re speaking an alien language.
@pawlieboi why do guys have more trouble picking up on signs? It seems that females can decipher what a guy means, Even if he’s being vague or having trouble articulating his thoughts. So why do men have such a hard time understanding us?
I mean it’s kinda understandable why us females feel annoyed when y’all don’t get us. Because most of the time we understand y’all clearly.
Yes, you women just can not stop talking, words whatever just pours from their mouths like Niagra river falls. Men overload so they go to their favorite thoughts, start smiling, it might help.
Because it's not something natural for us and it's often seen as unnecessarily complicated. Men do adapt, but it depends on the individual and on the woman too. Personally, I have some issues, but I still manage to understand some things. However, what I have a hard time tolerating is being blamed for not understanding : if communication is crappy, both parties are more or less responsible so why should the blame be on me only? Why should I be the only one making efforts to communicate properly? I'm fine mostly when it comes to women being different but I can't stand being blamed for the bad communication.
Just because something is obvious to the person saying something, doesn't mean it's obvious to the person hearing it. I can't expect a person who barely speaks English to understand what I'm saying, even if it frustrates me to no end when they stare at me like a deer in the headlights.
I don't know what kind of men you been with, that they are so stupid as to not understand what you mean when you flat out say it. Because any real man on here reading this will agree that, men we hate when woman long out there problems and try make us figure out shit. Listen if you got a problem tell me the problem and let's sort it out. Why you tryna make us guess. like the problem is a game or something. If I got problem I'm telling. I'm not trying to hint and all that.
And referring to your friend understanding. The point I'm trying to make is. Men and woman think different. Simple as. The hints that your trying to give men. Them hints are in the mind of woman. We think like men. Tell us straight and we will sort the it.
I feel like some women really do. I've witnessed some mind games and the "silent treatment" between couples and think it's extremely silly and unproductive. Just communicate your issues! How is someone supposed to try to fix an issue if they don't know there is one in the first place?
Exactly! Are honesty and clear direction and communication that hard to ask for? Well they are I'm lucky to get any guidance sexually as well I'm left to do my best at getting to know her. We're never going to be able to do anything right if it's impossible to get to know who they truly are.
Exactly just come out and say how you feel to a guy you like. I have a woman that won’t tell me how she feels about me at all and makes me guess everything. So I walk away
Sometimes yes and it's frustrating because I suck at picking any sort of hint or hidden meaning. Besides, why waste time with cryptic messages while you can tell directly what you want and how you feel? What I hate the most is when a woman gets mad if a man does not get hints.
Guys are not made to pick up hints, to speak this language, we just communicate directly most of the time and we are definitely not used to cryptic messages so don't get mad at us if the message does no go through.
I don't know if all of them but my ex viewed the hability to read mind as a prove of love... When I was tired or failed to read her mind she acted as off our love were finishing. It was very stressing.
Yes and no, I don't JUST expect guys to be "mind readers" I expect any one i'm close to to be a "mind reader". Basically if you get to know me and how I act and react if I seem distant or upset and you ask me if everything's okay and "I say I don't know" I don't just want you to be like "okay talk to you later then" I want you to ask me if I want to talk.
It is one thing to be vague. The real problem is when women say the opposite of what they really mean. If you say, "I'm fine", I'm going to accept that you're fine. "I'm fine" should never mean "keep digging for the real answer".
@WalterBlack Yeah I know, I'm not saying that if I say i'm fine you should keep digging, if anything if I say i'm fine but i'm clearly annoyed it just means I don't want to talk about it. My take was basically just have social awareness, If I look down and you ask me what's wrong and I say I don't know that's not me saying that i'm fine or that it's nothing it's me being unsure of things and wanting to talk to someone. It's really not that hard to understand, if you see someone crying and and you ask if their okay and they say I don't know you wouldn't just be like "oh so your good then?" you'd pry on asking what happened.
This is interesting, because if someone asked me what's wrong and I said "I don't know" then it means I'd prefer to talk about it later, when I've calmed down/gathered my thoughts. As it's not a clear statement, it may mean different things in different cultures.
Well here is the thing. Put it in the form of a test like back in school. If they gave you the answer would you learn anything? If you figures it out than they would feel you’re taking initiative to fix something without them having to tell you because I’d they did the value for the relationship decreases mentally for them. On the other hand I do think sometimes that women do that for the pettiest odd reason.
I personally don't expect anyone to be a mind reader though sometimes I expect those closest to me to be as I feel as if they "should", I have come to know that even my boyfriend and closest friends can't always read what's happening. Vocally communicating what's up is what everyone should be expected to do to avoid miscommunications and form understanding.
I also feel like I have to play detective sometimes. I kind of understand people a bit easier than others sometimes, and I think sometimes I just need to feel like someone understands me in return, but I don't say stuff out loud all the time. Just because I don't trust my own judgement always.
Trying to understand what a woman thinks is an easy way to drive yourself insane. I'm a true believer in why Grandma always outlives Grandpa, and thats because women can literally drive you into the grave.
Its hit or miss most of the time, and the rest is up to chance. The trick is to just choose your battles.
No, but they expect you to pick up on their non-verbal cues and behavior. They want you to ask "Hey whats up? how are you feeling?" They will say "I feel fine", but the truth is usually written all over their face haha.
Then you can ask questions, hug her, make her feel appreciated and cared for. Then give her kiss. Women want a man who is aware. Be aware of your woman.
Yes, some do. Some even expect guys to know everything they're feeling and wanting when they don't even know it themselves. It's stupid but... it happens.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
Not only is that true - girls expect us to "learn" their rules of communication - but god forbid they ever learn ours. You will never find girls who readily learn or accept that a man means what he says AND ONLY what he says. They are always going to read more into it.
No. If I’m upset, whether with my partner or a friend, I tell them exactly why. However this bothers quite a few people, as it seems people my age don’t like mature conversations? Who knows. I wish everyone did the same.
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I'm guilty of this but sometimes it's for valid reasons. Like do I have to spell everything out for you?
I admit sometimes I do this when I'm trying to figure a situation out for myself and there's a guy involved who I'm getting to know. Like I guess I subconsciously test him for some reason which I honestly can't really defend.
But if you know me properly, I shouldn't have to spell everything out for you.
But at the end of the day, men can't mind read, and if they're trying to figure you out, they'll go off what you're giving out. so sometimes it's better to just say it, girls
I think a lot of women have trouble saying exactly what they want without feeling “demanding/aggressive”. So they’ll say the soft version of what they’re thinking/feeling and hope that you can fill in the blanks.
Women aren’t encouraged to be outspoken when they’re little. So they grow up being passive and quiet. So that’s how they communicate.
That’s just what I’ve observed. It’s very common for me to talk to women who say a lot of contradictory things or answer yes and no to a question.
Do you want to go to X to eat?
We can if you want but I really like Y.
She agreed with you while at the same time disagreeing with you subtly.
I think women do this to avoid hurting feelings or coming off as rude. It’s not necessarily that they want you to read their minds. They want to save your feelings but at the same time they try to express their own and it makes what they say very confusing
No we don’t. We expect y’all to pick up on obvious language, signs, hints. Even when we flat out tell y’all exactly what we mean. Y’all still act confused. (Sigh) I think SOME men just have a harder time understanding things form females. Because a woman can say something to her friends and they will understand it clearly. But if she tells her man the exact same thing he will be stumped.
obvious language... love these terms!
Ofcourse your girl is going to u understand it. She's a girl like you. Men and woman think different. There is only so many signs we pickup on. I think the problem is the fact we think different and we get stressed when our other half doesn't understand.
Here's the thing, it's obvious to YOU, not to us. Communication requires both parties to work together, if they are not on the same page, it can't work. How can you expect to actually communicate with someone who does not speak the same language as you for example? Sure what you're saying is obvious to you, but not so much for them.
@YHL6965 but why haven’t men adapted to understanding us better? And by that I mean straight men, because gay guys understand what we mean. It sometimes seems like men operate and take in information at a slower pace. Because I just don’t understand how things can make sense to females and gay guys. But straight men act as if we’re speaking an alien language.
@pawlieboi why do guys have more trouble picking up on signs? It seems that females can decipher what a guy means, Even if he’s being vague or having trouble articulating his thoughts. So why do men have such a hard time understanding us?
I mean it’s kinda understandable why us females feel annoyed when y’all don’t get us. Because most of the time we understand y’all clearly.
Yes, you women just can not stop talking, words whatever just pours from their mouths like Niagra river falls. Men overload so they go to their favorite thoughts, start smiling, it might help.
Because it's not something natural for us and it's often seen as unnecessarily complicated. Men do adapt, but it depends on the individual and on the woman too. Personally, I have some issues, but I still manage to understand some things. However, what I have a hard time tolerating is being blamed for not understanding : if communication is crappy, both parties are more or less responsible so why should the blame be on me only? Why should I be the only one making efforts to communicate properly? I'm fine mostly when it comes to women being different but I can't stand being blamed for the bad communication.
I'd say that a lot of women, despite their "vast and deep' emotional knowledge, don't understand men as well as you think. For example,
www.girlsaskguys.com/search?q=what+did+he+mean+by
Just because something is obvious to the person saying something, doesn't mean it's obvious to the person hearing it. I can't expect a person who barely speaks English to understand what I'm saying, even if it frustrates me to no end when they stare at me like a deer in the headlights.
I don't know what kind of men you been with, that they are so stupid as to not understand what you mean when you flat out say it. Because any real man on here reading this will agree that, men we hate when woman long out there problems and try make us figure out shit. Listen if you got a problem tell me the problem and let's sort it out. Why you tryna make us guess. like the problem is a game or something. If I got problem I'm telling. I'm not trying to hint and all that.
And referring to your friend understanding. The point I'm trying to make is. Men and woman think different. Simple as. The hints that your trying to give men. Them hints are in the mind of woman. We think like men. Tell us straight and we will sort the it.
I feel like some women really do. I've witnessed some mind games and the "silent treatment" between couples and think it's extremely silly and unproductive. Just communicate your issues! How is someone supposed to try to fix an issue if they don't know there is one in the first place?
Exactly! Are honesty and clear direction and communication that hard to ask for? Well they are I'm lucky to get any guidance sexually as well I'm left to do my best at getting to know her. We're never going to be able to do anything right if it's impossible to get to know who they truly are.
Yes. But it's so dumb. All we have to do was women is just spit it out. Tell them what you want.
So the question remains why don't you?
Maybe they're afraid of the answer?
Exactly just come out and say how you feel to a guy you like. I have a woman that won’t tell me how she feels about me at all and makes me guess everything. So I walk away
I don’t play mind guessing game especially when emotions are involved
Sometimes yes and it's frustrating because I suck at picking any sort of hint or hidden meaning. Besides, why waste time with cryptic messages while you can tell directly what you want and how you feel? What I hate the most is when a woman gets mad if a man does not get hints.
Guys are not made to pick up hints, to speak this language, we just communicate directly most of the time and we are definitely not used to cryptic messages so don't get mad at us if the message does no go through.
I don't know if all of them but my ex viewed the hability to read mind as a prove of love...
When I was tired or failed to read her mind she acted as off our love were finishing.
It was very stressing.
Very sad! I think sometimes they think like you said a "proof that we love them" and it shouldn't be.
Yes and no, I don't JUST expect guys to be "mind readers" I expect any one i'm close to to be a "mind reader". Basically if you get to know me and how I act and react if I seem distant or upset and you ask me if everything's okay and "I say I don't know" I don't just want you to be like "okay talk to you later then" I want you to ask me if I want to talk.
This is exactly the problem.
@backdoorman Yep. Yowzers. Confusing.
It is one thing to be vague. The real problem is when women say the opposite of what they really mean. If you say, "I'm fine", I'm going to accept that you're fine. "I'm fine" should never mean "keep digging for the real answer".
@WalterBlack Yeah I know, I'm not saying that if I say i'm fine you should keep digging, if anything if I say i'm fine but i'm clearly annoyed it just means I don't want to talk about it. My take was basically just have social awareness, If I look down and you ask me what's wrong and I say I don't know that's not me saying that i'm fine or that it's nothing it's me being unsure of things and wanting to talk to someone. It's really not that hard to understand, if you see someone crying and and you ask if their okay and they say I don't know you wouldn't just be like "oh so your good then?" you'd pry on asking what happened.
@zollo Thanks for explaining that. That actually makes sense.
This is interesting, because if someone asked me what's wrong and I said "I don't know" then it means I'd prefer to talk about it later, when I've calmed down/gathered my thoughts. As it's not a clear statement, it may mean different things in different cultures.
Unfortunately, I'm guilty of not communicating clearly enough from time to time.
Well here is the thing. Put it in the form of a test like back in school. If they gave you the answer would you learn anything? If you figures it out than they would feel you’re taking initiative to fix something without them having to tell you because I’d they did the value for the relationship decreases mentally for them. On the other hand I do think sometimes that women do that for the pettiest odd reason.
So true... Women always get pissed for some random reason.
"did I say that? I didn't say that!"
Or they try to get revenge to show you what you said was wrong but they use something that is like 5x worse!
"me: well yeah, Taylor swift is hot, of course I'd want to fuck her."
"her: oh really? Then I want to fuck your best friend! He's so hot too!" 😑
I personally don't expect anyone to be a mind reader though sometimes I expect those closest to me to be as I feel as if they "should", I have come to know that even my boyfriend and closest friends can't always read what's happening. Vocally communicating what's up is what everyone should be expected to do to avoid miscommunications and form understanding.
I also feel like I have to play detective sometimes. I kind of understand people a bit easier than others sometimes, and I think sometimes I just need to feel like someone understands me in return, but I don't say stuff out loud all the time. Just because I don't trust my own judgement always.
I think it's so unfair that women don't say clearly what they think or need. No wonder men are so frustrated with women.
Trying to understand what a woman thinks is an easy way to drive yourself insane. I'm a true believer in why Grandma always outlives Grandpa, and thats because women can literally drive you into the grave.
Its hit or miss most of the time, and the rest is up to chance.
The trick is to just choose your battles.
No, but they expect you to pick up on their non-verbal cues and behavior.
They want you to ask "Hey whats up? how are you feeling?"
They will say "I feel fine", but the truth is usually written all over their face haha.
Then you can ask questions, hug her, make her feel appreciated and cared for. Then give her kiss.
Women want a man who is aware. Be aware of your woman.
Yes, some do. Some even expect guys to know everything they're feeling and wanting when they don't even know it themselves. It's stupid but... it happens.
Not only is that true - girls expect us to "learn" their rules of communication - but god forbid they ever learn ours. You will never find girls who readily learn or accept that a man means what he says AND ONLY what he says. They are always going to read more into it.
They assume that if men don't know what they want, they aren't worth their time.
That is a very good point! Some do indeed!
If she won't communicate, she's not worth my time.
No. If I’m upset, whether with my partner or a friend, I tell them exactly why. However this bothers quite a few people, as it seems people my age don’t like mature conversations? Who knows. I wish everyone did the same.