Boyfriend wants to go back to school?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over 1.5 years. He graduated in May 2018 and has been working ever since. He has thought about going to grad school to get his master’s degree.

I feel a bit insecure. While he’s at school he will meet a ton of women and probably have study sessions with them. I am feeling worried that he may cheat on me while he is away at grad school.

He isn’t sure if he wants to go yet. He is considering the idea and may apply soon. He tells me there’s nothing to worry about. But, i feel i can’t trust him.

[FlirtWithMeeee]

There could possibly be several issues here. In a loving, committed relationship in which that love is complete, there is no insecurity or trust issues. The fact that you are admittedly insecure and feel you can't trust him says something about you, him, your relationship or any combination of these. Until you figure out what that is, your relationship is not complete and therefore him going off to college will likely bring those issues out when it's harder to deal with and if the relationship is not complete he will likely find something that is more fulfilling, maybe not off at college but eventually (I say this from experience) So what should you do? Figure out what the issues are within yourself, him, and your relationship. It's probably going to take a lot of deep introspection and reflecting but you'll be better of as a person in the long run.

[Asker]

The issue resides in him and the relationship. He has broken my trust in the past.

[FlirtWithMeeee]

Hmm. It's not just all one sided. The fact that you stayed with him and still can't trust him says something about you too. Why are you still with him if he broke your trust in the past? And more importantly, why are you still with him if you can't trust him?

[FlirtWithMeeee]

Please don't think I'm judging you. Believe me, with some of the life choices I've made, I'm the last person to judge. My last two questions were meant for you to think about yourself. You don't have to answer them here.

[Asker]

Hmmm. I guess because i still love him, very much.

[FlirtWithMeeee]

In complete love, trust is not an issue. If you can't trust him or you're insecure about the relationship, do you really love him completely? That sense that is telling you that you can't trust him or that feeling of insecurity is red a flag. It's telling you something (or things) is wrong and it needs to be resolved or you will continue to feel like that.

[jgokgotit]

If you do not trust him the your relationship is doomed anyways. At 1.5 years you know him well enough to either trust him or breakup. Besides, most people who commit to grad school will have waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much on their plates to have a life outside of school and work. Grad school is many times harder than undergrad, more expensive and mostly only funded by loans and waaaaaaaaay more strict on grading.

[slatyb]

Why are you still with him if you don't trust him? If he wants to go to grad school and you want to the continue the relationship then you have to be supportive. Or else you can say "Sorry, I don't see how this is going to work. I think we should see other people."

[jakrabbitslim]

If you can't trust him, how strong is that relationship? He would be going to school to better himself, not meet women.

[Asker]

I don’t know that. He is the type to often believe the grass is greener on the other side.

[jakrabbitslim]

It's his choice in the end. If he chooses not to go, hooray for you I suppose.

[okeydoke]

If you can't trust a long term partner, you shouldn't be together.

[andreasderjuengere]

You can trust him if you want to.
Can you trust YOURSELF?
Meaning: what makes you feel 'weak' in your relationship?

[zagor]

If it's anything like my grad school experience you have nothing to worry about. Not a lot of women in Math grad classes.

[COMMODOREII]

From what i heard about grad school it's pretty intense. As for him cheating on you, it sucks you don't trust him.

[Liam_Hayden]

" But, i feel i can’t trust him"

Then dump him. Why would you, or anyone, stay with someone who is not trusted?

[NerdInDenial]

Has he cheated before?

[Asker]

There was a period of time, around last year where he engaged in questionable behavior. I lost trust in him because of that.

[NerdInDenial]

Did he cheat though?

[Asker]

Basically, yes.

[NerdInDenial]

Not basically, what did he do?

[Asker]

I’ll PM you.

[Testaccount65754]

Can't he just do it online?