No bullshit here... what are women really attracted too?

Question

dangerDoge · Accepted Answer

Agh I wanted to vote F, I voted D, but E was probably the better choice haha

Well, as is obvious, I’m a dude, so I can only give it from my perception. (Correct me if I’m wrong, women lol) From what I can tell, it’s not really something in the Alpha/Beta/Sensitive spectrum. I think women want a guy who will clearly state what he wants, but he is self-aware enough to realize what he wants may not necessarily what his partner wants. Thus, he is able to communicate and compromise on certain topics.

The emphasis is on clear communication. That is, there are no games of wit trying to be played where one side is dishonest to try and achieve some advantage through trickery. No— each side states their level of want on a subject.

Couple dynamics differ, but one way I’ve seen this done is through a point system. To clarify, when each side has a clear disagreement on something, they then rate their level of want for the subject on a matter of 1 ( = I pretty much don’t care) to 10 ( = this is an absolute must). If one side votes a 4 and the other votes a 9, the side with the 9 wins and the decision is swayed their way. If it is an even vote, there is more discussion, and if possible, each side tries to compromise and find a middle. This way only works with trust and clear communication though. If one side is constantly voting a 10 to get what they want, that is being dishonest— not everything is a 10. That’s is more the “alpha” viewpoint. Similarly, if one side is voting a 1, that is bad too, since it means the person is likely giving in at the expense of their own feelings, which is a recipe for disaster. That’s more the “beta”/sensitive viewpoint.

I don’t think girls want either of those. Girls want someone direct but not forceful. I think this is where the ever-vague term “confidence” gets applied. Girls want someone who is fearless or confident enough to say what they need to say without saying it like it’s a demand, sputtered with extra insults, or demeaning.

And, to be clear, I think guys in many ways are similar. Each side wants to know what’s on the other’s heart without the side being an ass about it.

Exterminatore · Accepted Answer

Didn’t watch the video. Hopefully will later.

In my own personal experience, girls, who are not completely and fundamentally damaged in some way, and are not narcissist or sociopaths generally want:

A guy who does treat them well and takes care of them and is kind and generous, but not overly so, not a love sick puppy dog who’s trying to nice his way into her panties or her life and not a pushover. They like a guy with some backbone who has boundaries and will enforce them, but not an overbearing and controlling man. They do like a take charge kind of a guy. A guy whose capable of being a leader, who can competently make and execute goals and plans and a good provider. They do like and are attracted to strength, which comes in various forms. They tend to despise weakness in men, they like men who are emotionally strong and mentally strong. They do like men who display personality traits of potential to be a good father.

So as I see it it’s a balancing act. What I do know they despise is clingy, needy, weak willed, wimpy, pussy whipped men who will tolerate anything just to get laid and/or have a girlfriend.

I am speaking generally in saying all of this. There are variations from girl to girl, but I have found these things to be generally true.

little_bird1 · Accepted Answer

I don't have a type for the initial attraction, I've had crushes on all kinds of different men throughout my life, some of them had some things in common and some didn't at all.

The only thing that matters in the end is how he feels about me and how he treats me. Whether my attraction to him will grow or vanish depends only on that. He could tick all my boxes and yet not feel the same about me, and thus not really treat me the way I want, so that will automatically make me lose interest in him. While on the other hand, if he does treat me the way I want, it can create a strong bond and attraction that easily grows into love. Never underestimate the power of being loved.

So, in short, I think women (at least I) are attracted to safety, stability and certainty. When it's just so easy to be with a guy without having doubts or fears. When you don't worry about not getting a call back or where he's been or where it's going, etc. Because when a man is honest and really, really likes you, he will never confuse you, there won't be guessing about his feelings, he will be an open book and you will know exactly where you stand with him. I want a man who won't make me go to G@G to ask about what his behavior means.

emmily2396 · Accepted Answer

Men don't just fall into one out of a few categories. A guy can be what you would see as an alpha and still be nice and sensitive. The guy I am currently interested in is tall, athletic, has a job, a car, his own place, doesn't shy from making a move, yet he is nice to me, he is anything but an asshole.

Just think of it, if you can't take care of yourself, then how would a woman feelsafe with you? I am not saying you need a car/flat/house, I am saying that you must show that you are doing things to be stable in life. Women need to feel like they can count on you if they need it, be it walking on a dark street alley or something else. Also, a man should take care of his appearance. Nobody stops you from exercising, nobody stops you from grooming and taking showers, from buying clothes that fit you.

Another important thing is that you do not expect her to be your slave. You must be willing to do work around the house if she works as much as you. You must respect the woman (of course she should respect you too otherwise she doesn't deserve it).

SydneySentinel · Answer

Maybe I'm doing it wrong but I don't seek a certain type like that-- although I generally don't like loud alpha male types. I get to know the individual.
I look for a good family driven, respectful man who has similar goals as my own.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Most women are really, really attracted to guys who purchase social media websites! :) :) :)

SpacedCharr · Answer

I mean, depending on the context, my partner could be considered the nice guy who ki- oh fuck I misread. I thought that read "kicks" my ass, not "kiss" it. Yeah, no, not my fetish anymore.

Desconhecida · Answer

Attraction or preference? Because just like men, we tend to be attracted by the wrong type

R_Cakes91 · Answer

First of all, if men stop labeling themselves like this then they might feel more confident in themselves.

I’m attracted to someone who I get along with, someone I can have fun with and laugh together until we make ourselves cry. My boyfriend works hard, he owns his own business but I don’t like him because of that. He’s a good man, understands my value in his life, and would move mountains to be with me. We have a blast together in everything we do and support each other through the hard stuff. He’s a good man and that’s all I can ask for.

MrMicah · Answer

Girls just like to hear themselves out loud they like to see their reflection in the world in a positive way. And with such a negative world girls are more sensitive than guys thats why girls gossip together some at least... So the value of finding a guy that they can confide in and help boost their reflection in the world is like finding a needle in the haystack bc us guys we like to understand in our own way. But the point is too listen to the girl and hear her voice of the matter what ever it may be that she's passionate about and not try to understand for yourself but to literally just hear her out and put yourself in her shoes to see what she sees and by doing so you know what she wants there for you can now go provide... this is all based off the fact that just about every comment the girls. Posted on this post got a thumbs up or down by another girl... but every guy who posted didn't receive on like or dislike... which goes back to my point girls confide in girls bc girls just listen to eachother just to listen they dont get bent out of shape trying to understand for themselves like guys. When you realize to just listen and do, instead of listen and learn your see progress... but that doesn't mean to be a robot bc then she'll never be interested in you for you

CubsterShura · Answer

Something that I really really want?

Stability and loyalty. By that, I mean: I'd rather be with a guy who isn't very romantic and isn't the kind to buy me flowers or write me cute letters but he is very loyal. And I'd rather be with a guy who doesn't earn a lot but is financially stable/so we're in decent condition throughout the month than someone who earns way more but swims on money at the beginning of the month and ends up broke by the last week of the month. I have no better way to explain this. Stability is my thing. The loyalty part also ends up in stability in the end because disloyalty can break families.

Applers64 · Answer

A man who is powerful, who can stand on his own two feet, is strong, isn't petty or a douche, will treat you with respect an is respectful, but will never have anyone walk over them, blunt, truthful, knowledgeable, handy man, intimidating. That's just me everyone thinks and see's different.

JimmyQ · Answer

I think most woman are smart enough to know that the alpha "actor" is really a fake and when it comes right down to it he doesn't have the right stuff to build a lasting relationship. The dudes that seem to be the most reliable are the betas that think they are alphas. They think they are going to work cause that's what they like. They think they are coming home with the money cause that's what they like. In reality their woman has taught them what she will accept as correct behavior so that the relationship can flourish. It's not rocket science.

Can_I_Get_a_Do-Over · Answer

I’m from a different generation and tend to like more historically traditional gender roles and men who are: Confident.
Decisive.
Protective.
Understanding.
Steady.
Calm.
Dependable.
Trustworthy.
Tender and passionate in romance.

Hurlyburly · Answer

Guys which are not delusional enough to refer to themselves as alpha or betas. Humans aren't gorillas and not matter how often people try to make it happen it won't. What I am attracted to are down to earth guys which do not get triggered by another peoples bullshit and which are able to laugh about themselves. Thats all. No alpha, no beta, no artifical dominance nonsense.

lillyLilith · Answer

A guy who can be childish at times for giggles but can be a man when needed to be. Responsible, cares for themselves and others, great with family, knows his place in life, has the willpower to get through the tough times, isn't afraid to express his feelings or opinions. Those are some the mandatory things I look for.

As for looks amd preferences he can be average, a few extra pounds or fit but I dont like bodybuilder bodies lol they scare me. He can be of any race I dont mind at all. Also a good size "package" is appreciated lol that being average size or a bit bigger.

Grande_Beefy_Swirl · Answer

Nobody actually beleives any of this "alpha-beta" crap. Stop trying to categorize everyone based on your own physical assumptions of who you think they are. Most of the girls i talk to think that shit is childish and makes me cringe every time i see it.

You wanna know what makes ME wet? Funny guys who don't take life too seriously.

But that's the thing: that's only me. Every woman is different and we all want different things.
Some women literally won't care what you do as long as you're a strong, healthy provider but those women are both rare and mentally ill. (The kind who stay with abusive husbands for the money) it's not a situation anyone actually WANTS. They'll just take it because they think it's all they can get.

Please. If anybody actually believes in this weird post-naturalistic view of men i advise you to read a bit more sociology. Maybe stay off Reddit for a while. Fix yourself up a bit.

MzAsh · Answer

Smart, pleasant, and sensitive men who are just real and have a will do live well. One who sees my beauty in various forms and appreciates, respects, and loves me. One who doesn’t want to change me, just let me be who I am. Found him.

KungfuCyborg · Answer

No one wants an alpha. The occasional ho may want an alphas dick or his money, but not him.

No one wants the overly nice kiss ass either. Occasionally an insecure or needy girl on the rebound may want the extra compliments and attention, but not him.

Being a person that other people want to build a relationship with includes some confidence and some sensitivity employed when the situation calls for them. Dynamic, flexible, interesting guys scream "boyfriend material." A guy who can pick up on the social cues and adapt to the situation.

If instead you're the kind of guy who's stuck on one mode all the time, either always trying to be the most savage alpha or always trying to comfort and placate, you're not going to maintain good relationships very long.

BlackRoseFairy · Answer

THIS!

NYCstreetPhotog · Answer

The only true alpha male isn't the loud mouth, leader of the pack type, those guys are psudo-alphas. True alphas are more reserved, less likely to draw attention, dependable, decisive, reliable, lead without being pushy, empathetic, confident, respectful, and protective.

Real alphas don't need to put on a show to get attention, because they know their actions and words will eventually gain them respect and following naturally.

The psudo-alpha wears a giant fake plumage, in order to get women, but unlike other animals, we as humans have free will and the power of reasoning and thinking, thus eventually their fancy feathers will molt and the female will realize her mistake.

Robertcw · Answer

This is an impossible question man. 🤷🏻‍♂️

I've tried answering it, and honestly I have no idea. But from personal experience, the bigger I grow my muscles from lifting weights the better.

Also, the lower my body fat % the better.

Also, when I express myself --> that's better than not.

Having a coherent intentional appearance is better than a random look.

And that's basically all I've found via trial and error. As for anything else? Who knows. I try to test as much as I can, but ultimately what O can gain via personal trial and error is really limited.

jdhtx1 · Answer

I used to date a dancer, and so I was always surrounded by women. Sometimes, there would be 5-6 of her friends hanging out at our place after work, and thingd they said they missed the most about the one that got away was the very shit they said didn't matter.
1. His abs or body
2. His Alpha male
3. How good he was in bed.

The other things they said were usually in relation to what they were going through.
So, if a chick had a dude with no money, they miss the rich guy. If their dude is mean, they miss the nice guy... etc... etc.

Passinggas · Answer

I do believe that most of the pink's opinions are what they believe but they don’t really know what attracts them to a particular man and we sure as hell don’t know either. There are some complex underlying lizard brain impulses at play that remain unmentionables because they are not truly understood by even professionals that research this. The women’s words are only their perception of processes they haven’t a clue even exist. The actual attraction process is not understood and attempting to poll out an answer is the “bull$hit” part especially with those generalized bs internet-categories.

blutwolfe · Answer

Honestly different things attract different women... If you're a man, you're gonna attract women who want a man. If you're a boytoy, you're gonna attract women who want that.

there's women who want a sensitive man, there's women who want a rich man. Every woman has different interests. I feel like there's no one thing to rule them all.

Unless we're talking about hookups, then looks/skill in bed would probably the top contender, but I'm assuming this question is about relationships. People want people that are like them.

purplepoppy · Answer

Men who don't believe in that alpha beta nonsense are far more likely to get my attention.

arabgoddess · Answer

I chose somewhere in between.. I can't deal with either extremities.. I need a balance.
However there's something attractive about a slightly aggressive guy who can stand up for himself and others 😍

Anonymous · Answer

My dream man is a virgin, clingy, needy, cute, tall, innocent, very loyal, norwegian hottie haha. Look at him😍, he is so cute and blond hahs. Blond people are exotic to me and very beautiful

LalaMeme · Answer

As someone who is already sensitive and maybe a bit submissive, I would like a man who is also sensitive but more sure of himself/confident. So in between the alpha/beta. I like a man who can share his feelings and be sensitive to yours. I think this openness helps to maintain a longer lasting relationship.

CaviarLilly · Answer

There is no such thing as an alpha male that treats you like shit. That is literally the exact opposite of an alpha male. That's a beta male wannabe who wouldn't know what it means to be a man if it wore a name tag and slapped him in the face.

But to answer your question, I'm attracted to dominant men who are kind and caring. My man is like that and well... I can't say more out of respect for him but he's hot af to me because of it. I'll just say that.

roflgun · Answer

Why not a little bit of all? Something between alpha, beta, and sensitive.

Yay112 · Answer

A nice guy who doesn't have to pay for me or boss me around or be the next Mr. Grey but actually be respectful, loyal, honest and not rude to the waiter. (The 'waiter' being anyone he feels somewhat superior to). He doesn't have to have the best bod or own a nice ride but also not a college dropout who's very unhealthy and unhygienic. But that's just my preference, other girls'opinions vary

aubscc27 · Answer

A guy who's bit of an alpha but treats me right cause if he treats me like shit I wouldn't think two seconds before telling him to fuck off and he could be sensitive but no too much (I don't really like guys who are super sensitive cause I'm not very sensitive myself) and I wouldn't want financial support because I want to be financially stable on my own and not be someone who only depends on their man to provide for them.

jarrea01 · Answer

I think girls are attracted to guys who know their value, are confident in themselves and have put the time to build what they have in their lives, and are proud of what they do because they want to do it. But I think it helps the girls for the guy to be a little sensitive so that he doesn't run off doing his own thing and leaving her behind.

Unit1 · Answer

😳😫🙄😶🤷‍♀️

Anonymous · Answer

Looks, height, big cock, success and personality. Not every guy has all those things so we just do the best with the qualities we have.

Mroz75 · Answer

Women are really attracted to a man, and in a man we mean, his mind, his actions, his own self... that's what they attracted to, not an alpha/beta nonsense shit (that's in bed)... and at the end, everyone has his/her type.
The problem is we guys always judge girls because of our experiences, and girls judge guys on their experiences... so before judgement, understand!

Anonymous · Answer

A guy who’s caring but not a pushover. A guy who can provide financially if he has to, but realizes I’m capable of providing for myself too. So yea something in between

bannacookies · Answer

Every woman is different with different tastes in men, so it's hard to put a blanket rule on what they'd want.

Anonymous · Answer

I really want someone I can rely on. :( if that makes him clingy, then so be it.

miley19 · Answer

Charisma, confidence, the way you speak and use your voice, kindness

DorkVader · Answer

I voted Ryan Reynolds, but he's not on the choice list. Seriously, strong but kind. Sense of humor. Pounce-able. Big spoon. Doesn't mind occasional bite marks

Koreantransgender · Answer

A girl I met at church meeting said that 100% of girls dream of marrying a rich man.

YHL6965 · Answer

Here is the thing : if you want to know what half of the human population wants, you are bound to have wildly different results therefore making generalization impossible, or at least absurd. So there is no answer in the end. Besides, each individual has their own desire which might not fit in any category.

sylviazulema1234 · Answer

Humble, ambitious, family oriented, level minded, planners, and healthy men... your choices are all skewed to a point of view of a narrow minded douchebag.

missymcfarther · Answer

I mean, I'm a slim, white woman who works in a creative industry and my hobbies are making music, designing clothes, and going out to new places/traveling, so I honestly look for an attractive creative guy who's similar to me.

sapphireruby · Answer

I like alphas who are man enough to express there feeling. Sometimes I want a Dom and sometimes I want a friend.

Rand_Omguy · Answer

People who aren't stereotypical useless fools. Woman and Men both fall for people who are themselves. Which is always random. No one's a cookie cutter shape.

cth96190 · Answer

If she cannot find Christian Grey, a female will marry a beta provider and fuck Harley MacBadBoy on the side.
I live in a city that has an abundance of beautiful young trophy wives who have personal trainers, tennis coaches and pool cleaners.

mistixs · Answer

I'm attracted to men who recognize that women aren't a hivemind & that different women are attracted to different things

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I always look for Woman who will accept me for who i am
i don't go by appearance but personality is what matters to me
i like a relationship build on Trust , Caring , Love , Sharing , Faith
Communication , Kindness.

5points2gspot · Answer

I can't speak for everyone but I'm attracted to wits, humor, honesty and caring.

Davis04 · Answer

A man that is respectful, family oriented, has a sense of humour and outgoing (doesn’t take no BS) type of dude. If he can cook too = bonus!!👌😌

Afrochick · Answer

Dark hair, beautiful eyes, and taller than me. I’m not picky on a mans weight as long as his BMI is acceptable.

Now for personality:
Charming, romantic,
Loyal

Wealth: Enough that I can stay home if we had kids ;)

BestUserName100 · Answer

A mixture of all I’d say. A beta alpha that can take care of them financially, who treat them right, might be sensitive etc.

ClosetHoe · Answer

Depends on the woman. Women aren't all attracted to the same thing (s).

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Wealth. You can look like a baboon but if you have lots of riches most women will not deny you.

Anonymous · Answer

A man who is honest, loyal, compassionate, funny, creative, open minded and smart. The type of man I want is so hard to find but I ALWAYS attract men who are the opposite of this. I attract damaged men and narcissists. Makes me wonder why. I've always had a father and to my knowledge he's nothing like the fucked up men I've been with in my life. They all pretend to be what I'm looking for and turn out to be devils.

Estellaaa · Answer

A man with a good heart, looks after the well being of others and who isn’t self centered.

Jaimie2001 · Answer

Guys that are sweet/romantic, loyal , cute and tall (or taller than them)

Anonymous · Answer

Anything but the person he is. He needs money, status and height. Once she reels him in his friends and hobbies are to be damned. She'll never take his emotions as seriously as she wants him to take hers.

Mickey9999 · Answer

No type. Romantic at heart so it doesn’t matter what he looks like or how much he makes.

BlueDream · Answer

A balance of both, like a gentleman in the street and like shit in the bedroom.

Likes2drive · Answer

Something in between or all of the above, every woman is different but they all want at least is a confident guy is what all of them want besides attraction which I’m sure you’ll agree

No bullshit here... what are women really attracted too?

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