20 h

26 years old, depressed, lonely, never had a girlfriend, suicidal thoughts? Any advice?

I'm 26 and for the last years I've been very depressed. I will go to a psychologist soon, but for now I need some advice. Main cause?
The fact that I've never had a girlfriend in my life.
Never really talked to a girl, kissed a girl or even hold hands with a girl. I'm a mess.
I've been a loser for most part of my life. I've been a good student overall although I don't have the best job in the world, but it's average I guess or a bit below average (in terms of salary).
I just feel like the purpose of a human being in life is to grow old, meet someone, eventually start his/her own family maybe have a kid or two and then die.
Unfortunately for me I cannot see that happening. I'm a bit overweight (but Im getting in shape), I have an average-a bit ugly face and I'm kinda balding, but at least I have a great beard and a more than decent sized... yeah.. that's probably the only thing I like about myself.
But it doesn't even matter because apart from that I'm a loser, I'm a mess, I'm garbage.
I feel like I don't really have a purpose in life. Others won't miss me and I think I'm not going to miss them either.
So I have this suicidal thoughts for a while... why I've never done it? I'm afraid to die I guess... and also it's not moral (it's against God's will).
I don't really know what to do with my life.. I don't have a purpose. I don't belong.
I don't have the perfect job but I'm okay with what I have right now.
There's actually one more thing I can say I like about myself, the fact that I'm always polite and I try to be kind to other people as much as I can.
But yeah.. what do you guys think?
I feel like I'm having a mental breakdown.. I feel so empty... I feel lost.
26 years old, depressed, lonely, never had a girlfriend, suicidal thoughts? Any advice?
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