You love language must be acts of service?
@ecfresh Excuse me? Doing things for inter another. Who said service? I said the little things. Like my husband used to know when I was in pain and just bring me my pills and a glass of water. And when he was too sick to care for himself, I cared for him. You may see that as acts of "service". We saw it as taking care of our loved one.
* one another not inter excuse typo
I didn’t come up with the terminology, you can google ‘5 love languages’. Never meant any disrespect, just tried to reframe your original comment. If you have a different love language than acts of service, please let me know. I believe we serve people that we love
@ecfresh Acts of love is how I phrase it. Service sounds like a job and it is a privilege and a blessing when you have someone who cares for you and you care for.
@Brainsbeforebeauty I don't like the name of that "love language" either.Personally, my top love language is touch
The book "The Five Love Languages" is a good book!
@Insightfull Love language one thing but service? You do for one another that's not service that's normal acting in a relationship. I didn't serve my husband I took care of him. And vice versa
In the Bible Jesus washed the feet of his disciples. He did it to show that He wasn’t above them but rather loved them and could sacrifice for them. There is a term in management called service leadership which also equates to supporting those people whom you are leading, not treating them as subordinates. So while I know the word ‘service’ can evoke thoughts of servants and subjugation, I prefer the other examples of service being those actions you do for someone you love. It’s just a term.
Thanks for mho🙂
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Good to see you again @coachTanthony it's been a bit 😉
Yeah super busy time of year! Hope all is well!
I'm doing. Everyone was trying to find their Valentine I take it
But u do know that people cannot be perfect and have their own shortcomings
@hansukota depends on what those shortcomings are
I don't think so. Unless they are things like cheating etc.
@hansukota things such as mental issues, not accepting responsibility over his actions, being insecure and controlling your partner's every move, bad tempered, abusive behavior, blaming your spouse for every little problem in your life, being passive aggressive rather than being honest with feelings, not valuing his children as the first priority in his life, a man who doesn't know how to communicate at all, gambling, These are all reasons why divorce is so common nowadays
Yes, for those reasons agreed. But I'm guessing the asker was talking in general terms such as sex, being romantic, being there for each other and all that.
I actually think a lot of people are slackers, so I prefer to wash the dishes myself because I don't want to get sick!
Too true, I had an aunt who had just buy new dishes rather than wash them.
I don't know, dawg; I disagree. I think you should always have an attitude of service to your spouse.
I recommend reading "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert Glover. That service is often used as a manipulative bargaining chip to get what you want in a contractual way. Service needs to come from a place of abundance, expecting nothing in return.
One thing I forgot to say: those people who genuinely need to make other people feel small are the ones who are weak, needing to knock others down to elevate themselves. Will some people say things they shouldn't say? Yes. Everyone has their story. I tend to forgive those who are hurt by what they said, but not everyone I will forgive or interact with.
Just try man... try lol
Making half-assed attempts is my new life directive
That's not trying that's making a half assed attempt. Lol
You have to whole-ass things in life.
A wise bot once said it's better to whole-ass half the time than to half-ass the whole time
That may have some fractional accuracy...
That's true. The idea definitely has a few holes in it
I interpret the question to mean given the task: washing dishes, cooking, changing the oil.. either you can give an effort that may not be perfect or you can simply be lazy. He’s asking is it better for partners to make an effort in a relationship or just let the other person do it if their effort doesn’t result in perfection
Is there no third option to just do things right in the first place? Washing dishes a child can do and get right. Would you stop doing dishes because you were single? Keep eating meals off the same dirty plates over and over until they grow mould and you have to buy new plates and start the process over. Do single people not cook for themselves? Living in a constant state of food poisoning and raw food? As for changing the oil? I'm mystified genuinely curious what this means? Engine oil? Cooking oil? Some other oil I'm not even thinking of. Is there a special single people oil that's different from couples oil? Don't you agree the question is overly vague and has not enough detail?
Is there no third option to just do things right in the first place? Washing dishes a child can do and get right. The idea is some people don’t want to do the task. That may be due to laziness, lack of experience, or (more rarely in 2020) the mindset it’s their partners job.Would you stop doing dishes because you were single? Keep eating meals off the same dirty plates over and over until they grow mould and you have to buy new plates and start the process over. Yes, there are single men and women who don’t wash their dishes each time. Very few allow mold to grow however some reuse them once or twice and are less diligent about using the dish washer.Do single people not cook for themselves? Living in a constant state of food poisoning and raw food? Yes, some single people cook while others use the microwave or order takeout.As for changing the oil? I'm mystified genuinely curious what this means? Engine oil? Cooking oil? Some other oil I'm not even thinking of. Is there a special single people oil that's different from couples oil? I meant changing the car oil. It was a nod to the 1950s mentality of gender roles where the wife was expected to cook while the man took care of the car. I believe in 2020 those roles are obsolete and both people are capable of doing all tasks required both inside and outside the house. Don't you agree the question is overly vague and has not enough detail?Some vagueness but the asker can always add detail
Its a dude trying.. you know... doing the dishes! LOL
Jokes aside I think it really depends. If a man is putting effort into something she perceives as valuable work, then it's everything to her. Just anything doesn't cut it. Plenty of men put in effort into things the woman doesn't appreciate and therefore she feels like he's not trying as much as he should. While he feels like nothing's ever good enough.So it's not JUST trying. Rather recognizing what really matters to her. Or trying at the right place at the right time really has meaning. Like making dinner, when she was rushed and behind the ball all day long. Couldn't catch a break and now she's thinking about having to make dinner. Him putting in the work right then to make dinner or take care of it is everything. Because he came in with the save.But if say he simply changes her car air filter. Something a little more innocuous. Or takes out the trash day in and day out. But he didn't clean. Him trying in those other ways didn't matter because she's not perceiving the effort he put in.
Tell me about the man in the arena!
Same goes for a girl