How long should the “talking stage” be?

[Anonymous]

I’m hoping you guys know what the talking stage is..

in my opinion it shouldn’t last more than two months, and after tht you should know whether you want to be dating that individual or not. I’m not sure why people are so hesitant to get into real relationships these days.. I have seen some people say they want talking stages to last a year and I think thts crazy?

[SezzySwann]

Reading some of the opinions here I feel like some people need more clarification on what the "talking period" means... You can be meeting in person or talking via an app or messages, and hell you could be doing more honestly, but when someone approaches you and asks about that person you refer to your status as "just talking" or "just getting to know each other" as opposed to "dating" or "in a relationship" at that stage. And yes, I'd give a dude about 2 months max to decide if he's interested (I mean hey, just coz I'm chatting to one guy doesn't mean I'm not also chatting to others, and I expect a similar thing from him too, so if he's not keen on only me after 2 months of getting to know me and/or I'm not keen on dating him after that time either then chances are we aren't going to go past the friendzone). People who wanna be in this "talking phase" for say a year are kidding themselves honestly; they're probably saying that to people in order to string them along while they test the waters with others, knowing if things don't work out they'll have this poor sad person still holding on and waiting for them to make up their mind. It's pretty fucked up if you ask me...

[Asker]

Right! Because usually while they’re in this year long “talking stage” they also want it to be exclusive and often feel betrayed when they find out the other person may have entertained somebody else...
What’s so bad about making it official?

[SezzySwann]

I think they just don't want to be exclusive or one person doesn't and the other does, so the one who does ends up talking themselves into thinking they're okay with the situation when really they're not and they'll realise they wasted their time on someone who didn't really give a fuck about them... Or at least that's my take on it all :/

[Cynicaldreamer]

There's really no way to define that. It depends on how much you see and interact with the other person.

I use that timeframe to get to know him, his interests, what he's looking for, and most importantly, is he into me or just wasting my time?

That's why you can't really put a timeframe on it: if one person is busy, slow at communicating, or playing games? It can take anywhere from weeks to months! Usually the latter in my experience, since I like to take my time getting to know someone.

[0112358]

Couple weeks to a month at most. That assumes you’re in an environment where you can build stuff without like actually going on dates. I’d recommend less. It generally isn’t going anywhere so a 6 month build up to nothing is a waste of your life.

if you’re imagining you can learn so much in the talking stage and pick the “right relationship” that’s not how it works. You learn more in a month being in a relationship then you’d learn in 2 years of being friends or “talking”. Much of what determines your compatibility in a relationship is about how they behave in a relationship and how they resolve conflicts within one. You kind of need to be in it to see. Beyond that people who are “talking” are in a less secure position to be honest. They’re still auditioning. So it’s just a bunch of flirting to try to guess if they like you. That’s it. You don’t get more out of it.

[Hepy82]

Well it depends.. If its online and their abroad I suppose a year is about right, because by that point your gonna have to be pretty committed and sure things will work out because one you are gonna need to make some sacrifices to live in another country with your new partner, if its online and the same country I'd say about 3-6months, at least you can still meet up in that time to make sure its gonna work without sacrificing too much, if your within about 2 weeks should do it, my last relationship we was living together within 1 month, we lasted 12 years...

[Hepy82]

If your 'close' is supposed to be the last scenario

[ThiccNigro]

Uhh I'd probably say around a month but depends on how you meet and your intentions, if it was from a dating app like tinder then yeah at most a month before things start moving along, but like if you're already friends that shit can go on indefinitely before y'all make something out of it

[Asker]

totally agree

[kay1315]

I guess it all depends on the people that you are dating. Sometimes I talk to someone and immediately lose interest but that’s only cause I see that we are not on the same page or because they are still looking around. Me and my boyfriend talked for a month and a half before he decided to make it official

[Adam1978]

The important blockers should be discussed asap. Minor details is going to be discussed over the length of the dating/relationship. So it's really up to each person list on how important they are for them.

[Anonymous]

I’ve had relationships where we talked for two weeks and others where we talked for months (4 was the longest). The one where we talked for 4 months was annoying at first because I wanted to be his girlfriend but ultimately when we got together it was good that we waited that long because we were really comfortable with each other. It was never awkward during any of our firsts :)

[BrownSugar00]

How did the whole relationship turn out? And you said it took 4 months before you guys started dating? Who initiated contact first? And are you guys still together or no?

[Drumlin2001]

There will be exceptions, circumstances can delay things (i started getting involved with a single mum, her finding free time was tricky). But in general you should know after a couple of months if it's going anywhere

[jgokgotit]

I agree. The talking stage is necessary, but should not last very long. I personally consider what you call the "talking" stage as part of the dating phase, but I agree with what your point is.

[leonidas69]

2 months. 😂 Fuck waiting that long to meet someone.

2 weeks max. If you don't have time to organize a date by then, you aren't making time for a relationship.

[gdcap]

I think a good length of time if you weren’t already friends before us really only a few weeks me and my boyfriend were talking for 3 weeks before we started dating and I think it’s going well so far.

[Bananaman177]

Imagine only having two months worth of things to say.

[blutwolfe]

if it's anymore than a month it's not gonna work out in the end

[COMMODOREII]

Only a week for me. But it depends on the person too really.

[donnny2367764]

Talk is cheap
Relationships are not
There is such thing as a talking stage, but generally they are in the sense of sexting and dirty talk... besides, relationships are more about sex...

[donnny2367764]

*more than just about sex

[Smirnoff23]

A lot depends on the situation and the couple involved

[coffeewithcream]

Talking stage?
Couples actually talk?
Who knew?

[Asker]

haha

[coffeewithcream]

:D :D

[Liam_Hayden]

Umm, like 30 seconds to a minute at most. I approach, sk, and if she says "No." I move on.

[neurolove]

Everyone's timelines are unique.

[avony12]

I think it depends on the person...

[Numbnuts89]

If you're not having sex by the third date, something's wrong

[Nature_Enthusiast]

As long as you want. Take your time

[Emperorxxxemilio]

As long as you’re comfortable I suppose.