My parents/brothers are overprotective, anyone else’s family like this?

[140597]

I grew up with four brother, I was the only girl 😢 My parents and brothers are very protective of me and always have been. Growing up I wasn’t allowed to hang out with certain people especially boys and those very few guy friends I did have we’re scared off.

I’m now 23 and have never been kissed or been on a date and part of the reason is because I’m terrified that my parents or brothers might do or say something. It gives me anxiety just thinking about it in my head.

I want to go on dates, I want to have my first kiss and more but I can’t exactly do it in secret because they literally watch everything I do. Sometimes I feel that they’ll be okay with me dating and being in a relationship but they’ll make a comment or do something that changes my mind.

Like today I was scrolling through TikTok in my room and my brother knocked on the door. I put the iPad down on the bed and opened the door. My brother saw the iPad and saw a guy on it and automatically started asking questions like “what are you doing “ and “who’s that”. Imagine if I was actually on FaceTime to a guy 🤦🏼‍♀️ It embarrassing.

Anyone else in similar situation and if so how are you coping? Advice welcome

Yes

Kinda

No

Explain in the comments

[Danbar95]

You're over 18 so you should just do what you want and tell them that you're an adult now and need to make these choices on your own and figure things out without over protection. Like if you were to go on a date, for sure let them know where you are gonna be and maybe send a text to check in with them to know things are fine, but they can't baby you forever or it's gonna really effect you psychologically

[140597]

If only it was that easy but I understand what you’re saying. I’m just secretly waiting for a guy to enter my life that makes me want to go against my parents and peruse something 😂😭 if I told my parents I was going on a date and where I was going there’s an 80% chance they’d follow me , they’ve done it to my brother before.

[Danbar95]

You need to tell them that being over protective is just going to make you want to have these experiences more and lash out more. That's what always happens. Being a helicopter parent always has negative impact on a child in some way. Maybe find an article about why being too overprotective is bad and try to educate them, and let them know that if you need them, you'll let them know

[140597]

Maybe, thanks for the advice.

[Danbar95]

Of course 👌

[Razal]

Some families can be over protective. I believe if u are close to any of your parents, father or mother, then you should talk to them.

[140597]

Thanks for the advice, but sadly I can’t say I am close to either of my parents

[Razal]

Any of your siblings?

[140597]

Sadly no

[Razal]

I hope you find someone good really soon.
Thanks for MHO ;)

[Anonymous]

Kinda. Not so much about relationships but my mom especially is paranoid about the cold. Like she is crazy. She insists I wear leggings under my pants and a long sleeve top under my sweater, winter coat, etc... even though it’s not even that cold outside. I can’t wait to move out!

[Danielle93]

You're already an adult. Why are you letting them control your life? If you keep letting them hold you back from having a normal life, you're gonna end up older without any experience nor social skills.

[140597]

You live under my roof you follow my rules 🙄 Id move out if I could afford to but I’m a preschool teacher/ student and I earn below the living wage.

[Danielle93]

Have you thought about taking them all to a family counselor? You can be in the counseling sessions too. What they're doing to you is psychological damage.

[140597]

I understand it’s psychological damaging and is affecting my life but my I could never picture my family going to counselling. I usually don’t talk to my family about anything that’s going on in my life because I see the way they act when one of my brothers try to express their feelings and it’s hurtful and I don’t trust my family to sit down and talk about my own feelings.

[Anonymous]

To a certain extent, my family is.

[140597]

My apologies and I really hope for your own sake they’re nothing like mine