What would you classify as a date?

[Whimzy]

I've seen a lot of posts/comments on here and other sites about dates always having to cost a lot of money and being a hassle to plan, and I just want to know what do you consider to be a good place to go on a date? What do you think would be good activities to do on a date?

Maybe I'm lame, but I've never been interested in the cliche dates, like the movies or going to dinner. I'd enjoy it, don't get me wrong, but I'd be more interested in going to the beach or hiking one of the trails that overlook the town. I guess when I think of a date I think of it like a portion of time we've set aside where it's only going to be the two of us, and the location or activity doesn't matter a whole lot. Yeah, sure, first dates will probably look a bit different, but every date after the first? I'd even be okay with us writing down five things we want to do and then taking turns crossing items off the list until we had it down to two, then set the dates and do those things.

So what do you think? What makes a date. . . well, a date?

[OlderAndWiser]

I think your generation and the preceding generations has a problem with the word "date.". When you declare that something is a date, then you are admitting that you have a romantic interest in the other person. If it doesn't work out, then you are obliged to feel depressed. However, of you just call it "chill'n" or "hanging out," them you have declared your interest and, of it doesn't work out, you can act like it wasn't really a big deal and it doesn't bother you.

For me, a date is when the lady knows I have a romantic interest and I want to spend time with her. The particular activity - dinner, movies, beach, concert, etc. - is just an excuse to spend time together and we both understand that. And if it doesn't work out, I'm not gonna go jump off a cliff, but it might bother me for a few days. And then I get over it.

[scorpy04]

I have no qualms about calling it a date the intimacy that has lead to the point of spending time together with out the onslaught of friends Getting to know each other Testing the chemistry between us The closeness al leading to a repeat or date 2

[Drumlin2001]

For me a date is any meet up with the intention to pursue or develope a romanctic relationship. Dosen't have to be some big expense.
I had a great second date with one woman, we just had an evening walk along the seafront talking for a couple of hours (ok, i did sneak along a small bottle of bubble, some chocolates, strawberries but cost me less than £15). Dosen't matter what you're doing, its about getting to know each other and building a connection.

[Whimzy]

I like your description of "any meet up with the intention to pursue or develop a romantic relationship." That along with "building a connection" seem like good ways to describe it. Thanks for your opinion!

[KeziL]

Anything we plan to do together specifically as a couple and call a date. I might not call it a date if one of us says "wanna come hang out later" and I go to their house and we watch a movie or whatever, but going somewhere or having a decent meal together at home (if that's not something we'd do everyday) or really just spending some designated time together like you said counts as a date for me. I agree with your description.

[ClosetHoe]

I think a date is just a planned time to hang out together. If we're just sitting on a couch watching movies, eating dinner at a restaurant, walking in the park, etc., then it could be a date. Anything can be a date pretty much.

[NamerOfStars]

I've long held that a date is anything that you agree is a date. Doing a workout jog together? Jogging date! Packing a lunch and heading out somewhere to eat together? Picnic date (and the first one I ever did, in fact)! Heading out into a ruralish area and stargazing together? Stargazing date! Harvesting phoenix dactylifera together? Date-picking date! Standing in line at the DMV together? You get the idea.

Trouble is, a lot of people see impressing others as an important part of dating, especially the first few. That's not bad, and isn't even really wrong; but money doesn't have to a huge part of it. It would probably turn away some otherwise good prospects, though, just because they thought you were being cheap.

And now I'm stuck thinking that having someone to converse with/smooch would make waiting in line so much more pleasant- why did I never think of this before?

[leonidas69]

Date is a social or romantic appointment or engagement. Therefore not specifically costing any money. It's about the date ypu meet the person. I've gone on free dates where we just walked along the coast, trained at the gym, hung out and watched netflix. I've gone on cheap dates where I paid for coffee, a movie ticket, some games at the arcade.

[Whimzy]

Training at the gym as a date sounds interesting. It's not what most would describe as a romantic setting, yet I could see it at least being fun and a great bonding experience.

[leonidas69]

"Social OR romantic". You're right a date at the gym is less romantic. But the point I was trying to make is that it's not always expensive to get to know someone.

[Whimzy]

Sorry, I guess I missed the distinction there. I understand what you mean. There's always been this stereotype that people seem to want to keep bringing up as fact that a date has to cost money because 'women are expensive'. I asked this question mostly because I wanted to see how many people actually believe that, and I like that you made the distinction that not only do dates not need to cost any money but don't necessarily even have to be romantic in nature at all. Thanks for your opinion, by the way! It's always awesome to get different point of views.

[leonidas69]

Some women are expensive though.

[Whimzy]

True, but so are some men. The key here, though, is the word "some". We can say "some" all day, but that shouldn't mean we should continue to perpetuate the stereotype that 'all' women are that way just because "some women are." That'd be the same as some people saying "All men are rapists," because some men are.

I've always disliked generalizations for this reason—and yes, I know I just made one by saying "always", lol.

[leonidas69]

Absolutely agree

[AcidT0y]

I don't know exactly what I would classify as a date but I definitely don't think it has to be dinner or a movie or anything like that. In fact I don't really like dates where there's a pretext like that. Like we're going for something else and getting to know each other is secondary.

Best date I ever had was wandering around the ruins of an old monastery with a girl I met at a bar the night before, just talking about movies and music and shit like that xD

[Whimzy]

Exactly! Honestly, that sounds like an awesome time to me. I've always found movies and books with date scenes to feel stilted because often they go for the whole dinner/movie thing, whereas the ones that have dates like yours feel the most real and fun. Plus, I'd think there'd be less pressure when you're both kinda just shooting the breeze.

[AcidT0y]

Yeah I just think nobody is really themselves when they're dressed up nice going somewhere fancy. It's easier to be at ease with someone when you're just dressed comfortably, having a chat. It doesn't have to be all datey or whatever 😂 there's definitely a place for that stuff but I don't think it's the way to make a first impression at least.

We had a year long relationship after that and most of the inside jokes and stuff like that we had came from that day haha

[Whimzy]

That's awesome; not the relationship ending part but the rest. My dating experience is limited (like, 3 guys kinda limited), and half the time I don't even count them as actual relationships, but that aside, out of the three I'd have to say just going for walks with the last guy was my favourite. He'd smoke his cigarettes, we'd talk about everything and nothing, and somehow it was still more fun than sitting in Tim Horton's attempting to fill in awkward silences.

[AcidT0y]

Yeah the ending part wasn't great but it was still better than the middle parts of some of my other relationships xD

Is 3 guys at age 23 limited? I think I'd only dated 2 or 3 by then 😅

Yeah that does sound a lot more fun than filling awkward silences in sad coffee shops like

[Whimzy]

Oh geez, sorry for your crappy luck then. I hope you didn't meet one of the crazy's; I know a few who's all about stirring up drama in their own relationships.

Ahh, but you don't know the stories behind those 3 guys and why I said I "don't even count them" half the time, lol. I'll give you the condensed version if you really want it, but to put it short and sweet, the first two happened at 13 and 15/16, both wanted to call me their girlfriend, the first one only wanted to hang out sometimes, second never wanted to actually meet. Trust me, I suggested it many times. The third guy actually did want to hang out and ended up being my first kiss. I was a day off of 18, he was in his 20s. We texted nonstop daily for months. He never wanted to put a label on things (I asked him at one point what we were because we'd makeout whenever we hung out) yet he said he planned to marry me. That relationship fizzled out after a little over a year. A couple of months after he was talking of marrying me I saw on his Facebook that he was engaged to another girl. Maybe he met her after we stopped talking, but part of me wonders.

I tend to call my dating experience limited because most of it took place either via notes (guy 1), or online (guy 2 & 3), and the most I've done is kiss and be fondled, lol. It's fairly unexciting, haha.

I've had two. . . first dates? Meet-and-greets? I'm not sure what to call them. Anyways, I've had two happen in a coffee shop where we're meeting in person for the first time and no thank you, I know it's a safe neutral ground, but it's awkward as hell. XD

[AcidT0y]

Yeah I've definitely had one of those before. First proper girlfriend when I was 17, she was fine for a while and then suddenly started freaking out any time I talked to another girl. Which was a problem because my best friend was a girl at the time. She kick part of my tooth out once 😂

But yeah I see what you mean about experience now. That's not a lot at all 😅

[Reaperbot666]

spending an hour or more getting to know someone your interested in. the activates you do on the date can very a bit. depending on what kind of interests you both share however.

[Whimzy]

That's very true. I suppose if the guy wasn't outdoorsy and dislikes exercise (which many of the guys I know do), then I guess walks and such would be out.

[_SOARER]

A date is two single people meeting up for the purpose of getting to know each other intimately.

I never spend more than $20 on a first date. I normally do a walk in the park or a picnic date. In the summer the beach. Something simple and fun!

[Whimzy]

Honestly, all of that sounds way less stressful than being asked to go out to dinner. I'm always more relaxed when I'm up moving around or doing something with my hands, so "simple and fun" sounds good to me, haha.

Question: Is the $20 a limit you set prior or does it just work out that way?

[_SOARER]

Dinner dates are way to serious haha
It usually takes me 3 dates to suggest dinner. By then I know if I really like her and I notice if she really likes me.

It just works out that way haha
$20 bucks is if we end up buying sandwiches or ice creams or something

It's the price of parking or for water

Little things like that. 😃

[Whimzy]

Ahh, I see. Makes sense. I thought at first you meant you set a limit and were working within that budget (which, by the way, is perfectly okay for those who can't afford much), so thanks for clearing that up for me, haha.

[scorpy04]

I think you seem to be a very methodical young Lady who doesn't need wining or dinning but enjoy the persons company 1st dates on the beach Walking just chatting get to know how compatible you feel is much more importance than the venue

[Whimzy]

"Methodical" sounds so much better than my word for it, which is odd, lol. My sister has even questioned whether I might be on the spectrum, which would be fine if I was but the implication is always that there's something off about me. Maybe there is, but that's neither here nor there.

Thanks for your opinion. I agree with the whole getting to know one another being more important than the place. Compatibility is key, in the end, and the setting isn't likely to change that.

[scorpy04]

I don't feel there is anything of with you We are all different from each other in some way You have an analytical mind Which is logical but not necessarily allowing you to see the big picture

[Whimzy]

Thanks. And that is true. If we were all the same, life would be boring, lol. That's a very wise way of looking at it, "logical" but unable to "see the big picture." It's also pretty accurate, in a way.

[plate]

If it's the first few dates, it should be just somewhere where you can just talk and get to know each other, because at that point in the relationship, that's all it's really about. If we've been dating for a while, it can be anything really.

[jabbahut]

A meeting between 2 people = like an activity or something, however the criteria of what a "date" actually is questionable. Me and my partner started by meeting for a picnic - was it a date? To us no but for others like her mom probably yes.

A coffee shop etc usually counts as a date - however I guess you could also do it as simply friends.

It better to ask if it's a date - instead of just guessing.

[MannMitAntworten]

Not to make this sound frosty, but she’s present I am present and we are enjoying whatever it is we are doing together... pretty straight forward. If time seems to slip by without notice by both because they are equally enjoying themselves, that’s a really good date.

[Pighttussy]

Dinner, movies, long walks talking about stuff, laying on the rooftops talking about stuff, cuddling on the couch watching a movie or talking about stuff, sex and then falling asleep in each others arms.

[firaskr]

I think a date will be a meeting of 2 people to do certain activity that they agree on , with the idea of getting more intimate or reinforce the intimacy between them. in short it is a meeting with sexual interest

[purplepoppy]

If a guy asks you to go somewhere with him specifically it's a date. Come with me to the cinema is a date, come with us to cinema isn't.

[answerseeker127]

I personally classify a date as anytime you're hanging out in a romantic sense. Walks in the park or dinner. I see it both ways

[yucychan]

We went for a long walk in the park and I enjoyed it. There's no cost to it. My favorite would be to a carnival.

[Liam_Hayden]

A date is anything that the two of you enjoy doing together. It can be a walk in the park, a hike, sitting and walking the sunset, a casual dinner, a day at Disneyland, whatever you want it to be.

[OddBeMe]

Romantic intention. Anything less is just an outing.

[Whimzy]

What exactly do you mean by romantic intention? Like it's a given that you're going to have sex after, or do you mean something subtler, like that you're both going into thinking of it as a date?

[OddBeMe]

A date is romantic, an “outing” is non-romantic. Sex is only a byproduct. If she doesn’t have romantic interest, it’s not a date.

[Iron_Man]

Going out to dinner or a movie is considered a date or out dancing

[JamesBlackDragon]

If we are hanging out just the 2 of us doing anything for more then an hour it's a date to me

[MrTaboo]

Walk in the woods, to fine dining. Personal preference

[Twinrova]

Good question. Women are paranoid about guys cheating on them and they nag wayyyyyyy too much. You guys should consider shutting up once in a while :>

[Whimzy]

I'm sorry you have that mentality. It's too bad you haven't been around enough women to learn that not everyone is the same and that the women you have been around are toxic minorities, usually played up by the media who like a good catfight.

Anyway, you said this was a good question yet never actually answered it. Could it be that you're trolling? Tsk. Must suck to have so little happiness in your life you resort to twelve-year-old Xbox Live tactics.

Thanks for your two cents, anyways!

[Twinrova]

Lol, you asked another question that was something like: what flaw do you wish the other gender could overcome. I was using the app and I don't know what happened but I ended up answering this question thinking it was the other one :()

[Whimzy]

I think you have me confused with someone else, man. Look at my profile, I've only asked 4 questions since joining this site and none of them were about flaws. In fact, this is the first question I've asked in over a year.

But I'll give you the benefit of the doubt in this case, haha. I didn't know there was an app, but if it's that glitchy I probably don't want any part of it.