It has probably almost nothing to do with it being a guy, or guys in particular not wanting to do them. I don’t know anything about the guy you’re referring to, and everyone’s different and has different reasons for their decisions. Although one could argue that guys ‘require’ (in their minds and maybe bodies) frequent sex, and if that is not part of the equation of a relationship, many will bail. Doesn’t matter how special you think you might be to them.
Long distance... no, make that, relationships can be hell. Relationships are probably the biggest challenge we all face in life, and add to that impractical and logistical problems like distance, and you’ve got an almost surefire recipe for disaster. Most people can’t even make their relationships in their home town work. It’s only common sense that many people refuse to burden themselves, and put all the extra pressure on themselves and the other person, to try and make an LDR work.
Also, I would also give slight odds to women wanting to even embark on them. No only because they will go longer without sex or intimacy, but because they tend to be way more verbal, and can quite easily feel emotionally connected to someone through words (either by phone or by text.) Yet many guys find this to be an inefficient and tedious means of expression. (Even drudgery, for some.)
I’m sorry this guy broke up with you over the hardship of it. But my best advice to you is... don’t do them. Don’t even start them. If you meet someone online who is not within easy transit distance from you, don’t get attached to them. Very few work out, and they are slow torture in the process. And if you do fall in love and desperately want to make it work, that is just the beginning of the challenges you face. Upending your life to move to be with them is a massive undertaking. It shows great sacrifice and speaks of one’s optimism, and the love and potential devotion or enthusiasm for the other, but it is a burden to them as well, as they realize how much you have sacrificed, and how much is at stake.
I would not even advise ‘proceed with caution.’ At best, ‘enter at your own risk.’ And prepare the inevitable end. Humans need each other face to face. We are not meant to long for someone indefinitely.
It depends on the guy though. For some they prioritize physical touch more than forming a deeper bond, so in their perspective when a partner is physically absent, hence its not worth it.
The inability to travel could be also be one of the factor due to commitments, financial constraints and etc.
This is rare, but some might also think that meeting someone virtually and being in a long distance relationship is unrealistic because they know very little about the person, and believes that meeting and talking in person is rather "real".
Honestly, long distance relationships are tough. It requires equal amount of efforts from both sides to make it work. Also, trust and understanding is pivotal.
Because long distance relationships are expensive. I'm not talking money, let me break it down.
People want companionship and some want physical touch. a long-distance relationship is a double whammy from the standpoint of you lose physical access to your significant other and you STILL have to be faithful, so you start that relationship with a built-in issue.
Let's be realistic, most people don't have the discipline to handle that.
Most women don't care for an open relationship (and/or most guys aren't bold enough to say what they want)
And believe or not, some guys don't want to cheat.
So, they'd rather be single in case someone closer is available. the closer woman will have more value is HIS eyes. If a guy is dead set on being with a woman long-distance, he can withstand all of this. Long-distance relationships are for people who are good with delayed gratification.
Doesn't make him better than those who can't, simply means he's better at handling long-distanced relationships.
Sex? You need to step back and look at the bigger picture, because I'm slightly more familiar with your situation because I gave my opinion on another question of yours yesterday.
In your specific case, you need to remove "long-distance" from the equation, I've told you already.
If he lived in the same town, he would've done the same thing and you would see it for what it truly is. He's using "long-distance" as an excuse because it is there to use.
it's a trust issue. How does he know that when he's not around she doesn't have 3 or 4 other guys she's talking to and rotating around while he's not around and can't see her? Also long distance relationships usually dont last and the guy can dig in deeper into her past. Yes guys want to know what's been going on with her, how she is looked at in her own community, and the company she keeps. All of these things reveal much to a man. If he's serious about commitment he wants and needs to know what she's all about. Men want to know "is she fit to give me children?" "is she going to be there to take care of our children if something happens to me?" "is she trustworthy?" "Is she good with her money and budgeting?"
All of these things are important to know and I expect a good woman to ask these same things about the man she is with. My mother walked out on me at a young age. I wish my mother loved me and I had both my parents in my life. Because I know how that is I want my children to have two parents who love them and raise them well. Otherwise I would just rather pass altogether on having kids. Also I dont think I could bare to go through I divorce. I think it would absolutely destroy me which is why I have remained MGTOW for many years now. I can't go through that. Some people say "Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all". I wholeheartedly disagree with that statement.
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Why would you want a ldr? Maybe they want someone closer that they can spend actual time with.. Not wanting a long distance relationship isn't wrong.. Sleeping with someone and then using the LDR as excuse is not cool tho...
Really think about your question here. Why would s guy want to do long distance? Men need physical touch. Sexual gratification. Its women that like long distance because they are obsessed with ATTENTION.
I think physical intimacy is important. Think about a soldier on duty going home to his wife. What is the first thing do you think they will do?
Given meeting for the first time after only doing long distance is quite different but being able to share physical intimacy I think is one of the highest value of being in person.
But I agree with you that both partners should agree on what that first meeting should like and what you should do together then. Both of you should agree not just one
This isn't just guys. Military wives/spouses cheat left and right on their deployed partners.
The answer is simple, not enough sex and no opportunity to have sex in between visits.
If he ain't getting sex and the girl visits, great, let's hook up. But in a relationship, she is gone for a long time then he is blocked from any opportunities he might find locally.
People have physical intimacy needs, men and women. It is great to be so into someone that being alone for six months with someone you deeply love, is better than any immediate intimacy,.
Not all people feel deeply enough to not miss sex in a powerful way, enough to be exclusive.
It depends on what you call LDR. To me, I usually think of international relationships because they have become so common. As far as I'm concerned that kind of long distance relationship is not a real relationship. It's only wishful thinking. In order to become a "real" relationship it needs to be local, which means somebody has to move.
To me, I'd rather be within 30-45 minutes of someone. More than that and it becomes too difficult to get together.
To directly answer the question, I don't want to be in a LDR because I don't consider it a relationship at all.
As for sex, distance doesn't matter for casual sex. That's something you can do every now and then when you get the chance. I think a real relationship needs more than every now and then. It's an ongoing day-to-day thing. They are two different things.
If one person lives in the US and the other lives in Romania would more likely see each other less than if both lived in the US. If one lived in Washington and the other lived in Vermont would most likely see each other less than thise who both lived in the same state. Those who live a 3+ hours away would most likely see each other less than those who live 1 hour away. Those who live less than an hour away from each other are more likely to see each other even more.
The further away from eeeaxh other the more planning it takes to see each other and the more free time you will want to have to see each other. The lack of being able to do things together, lack of cuddling, lack of romace, harder to comfort each other etc.
because they want to reap the benefits of having you around when he’s in town but once he’s back home he has the freedom to do what he wants. or it could just be a preference thing.. a lot of people like the physical in relationships.. like wanting someone they can see, touch, hang out and have sex with whenever verse someone they actually have to wait, plan and spend money on every now and then due to distant traveling.
but if a person really wants to be with you distance wouldn’t be a problem and they’ll actually make plans to move you to them or move closer to you if the relationship is that serious.
Because when a guy really likes a girl he wants to be able to see her , if she is long distance he feels like he can’t really see her and protect her because he isn’t there for her to feel safe in his arms. Most guys are territorial when it comes to falling for a girl , so being territorial. Basically means he has insecurities , he will be worrying a lot about her and hoping she isn’t up to no good behind his back , so a lot of people are against long distance relationships for that reason , they have insecurities that they can’t deal with , so it’s easier for them to find someone that they can see all the time
because guys like sex... we live for it.
a long distance relationship means we dont have access to sex when we want it... unless we cheat on you, but most of us dont want the secrets that may be found out later, when we are supposed to be in a (assumed monogamous) relationship...
which really means, if we aren't in a relationship, we can go out looking for sex whenever we want it without having to hide it or have secrets...
but there are the losers who dont care about the feelings of the one they are in a relationship with, and will cheat at every opportunity...
The same reason most hate cooking shows.
You can't eat it, smell it, nor taste it. But are expected to be there and interact with it.
LDRs are largely pointless with unknown partners, as you're interacting with someone you cannot get further with.
Even long term partners find their relationship becomes strained if it remains long distance too long.
You could say a relationship based on sex and intimacy isn't going to survive an LDR as the very thing that makes it, is not possible,
LDRs are pretty risky sometimes like really risky. Another reason would be that both sides might get bored of it after a while sometimes because of lack of trust (they might not want to share everything about them with the other side) and sometimes because it gets repetitive where both or one of the sides aren't really initiating convos, engaging in online activities together, etc.. a lot of people don't want to turn their life around by moving into other countries for their relationship when they can engage in one where they live (that is if they live in different countries)
Out of sight out of mind. Men have certain needs same way was women do. However men tend to get more needy when they don’t have their partner around. He doesn’t want to get in a LDR probably because he knows he’s going to hurt you at some point and look for someone else after some time.
Many problems long distance have like if you even get attached you can't have them, and never know what's going on in the others life. And tbh it's just not about guys it's everyone some people want personal touch some don't care but do want the other person to be around.
I hate long distance relationships because of the long distance.. easy lol. I remember back in the days when MSN Messenger and Skyrock (it was the Facebook of that time for francophone people) I've met a couple girls from France which I've seen a big chance to have a serious relationship, but guess what days pass and you start feeling like it's a waste of time, you don't know what to talk about after a short period, you feel like meeting is impossible especially that I was still a student at that time (no job, no money). Then when I started to grow up I started to realize there are bigger issues than just the distance like cultural difference and religion. I still fantasize about the idea of having a relationship with someone on the other side of the globe from time to time but as soon as I remember it's a waste of time I just move on.
in my opinion it's not about being a girl or boy. It's about a person. Some are ready to be in a LDR because they feel very strong connection with the other person and it still exists when they're far from each other. But the others need someone who is there both mentally and physically because that's what they want from relationship.
LDR are difficult and require a lot of strength, patience and trust. And not everyone is made for that.
I was in a long distance relationship once. In the long run it didn't work out due to our work schedules conflicting and at one point we didn't see each other for 6 weeks. She was only 2 hours away also. So initially, I was willing! And up to a certain point the sex was cool. But after a certain point we both had to move on. No harm done.
It's very hard to make a long distance relationship work, especially over time. We know this. Women often see this differently, but we think logically. We know it's highly likely to fail, so don't even "risk" it for the most part.
I was in one, and it wasn't even a huge distance, but as it was I could only get to see her once a week. This was fine for a while, until feelings deepened and she started wanting to see me more and more often. This just wasn't possible at the time for me. But she couldn't see/understand that (it was different in her mind). She thought I should just drop everything to go see her ("if I really wanted to"), but life doesn't work like that. We eventually split up. It wasn't for this reason alone, but this was definitely one of them.
So that's why. Sex is easier. No strings. Far less "complications".
They don’t. Some will not want it just like some women won’t. Many are more than eager for a led if they really want to be with someone. It completely depends on the person. You are in a specific situation with a specific guy... maybe explain the situation and ask your questions based on that. It might be more helpful to you 😊😊
What do you mean by have sex with her? If its long distance that usually means no sex or very limited sex but also very intensive effort compared to a non LDR as having no ability to truly interact with them and make new experiences with each other, your connection with the person is much more difficult to maintain.
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