It has probably almost nothing to do with it being a guy, or guys in particular not wanting to do them. I don’t know anything about the guy you’re referring to, and everyone’s different and has different reasons for their decisions. Although one could argue that guys ‘require’ (in their minds and maybe bodies) frequent sex, and if that is not part of the equation of a relationship, many will bail. Doesn’t matter how special you think you might be to them.
Long distance... no, make that, relationships can be hell. Relationships are probably the biggest challenge we all face in life, and add to that impractical and logistical problems like distance, and you’ve got an almost surefire recipe for disaster. Most people can’t even make their relationships in their home town work. It’s only common sense that many people refuse to burden themselves, and put all the extra pressure on themselves and the other person, to try and make an LDR work.
Also, I would also give slight odds to women wanting to even embark on them. No only because they will go longer without sex or intimacy, but because they tend to be way more verbal, and can quite easily feel emotionally connected to someone through words (either by phone or by text.) Yet many guys find this to be an inefficient and tedious means of expression. (Even drudgery, for some.)
I’m sorry this guy broke up with you over the hardship of it. But my best advice to you is... don’t do them. Don’t even start them. If you meet someone online who is not within easy transit distance from you, don’t get attached to them. Very few work out, and they are slow torture in the process. And if you do fall in love and desperately want to make it work, that is just the beginning of the challenges you face. Upending your life to move to be with them is a massive undertaking. It shows great sacrifice and speaks of one’s optimism, and the love and potential devotion or enthusiasm for the other, but it is a burden to them as well, as they realize how much you have sacrificed, and how much is at stake.
I would not even advise ‘proceed with caution.’ At best, ‘enter at your own risk.’ And prepare the inevitable end. Humans need each other face to face. We are not meant to long for someone indefinitely.
It depends on the guy though. For some they prioritize physical touch more than forming a deeper bond, so in their perspective when a partner is physically absent, hence its not worth it.
The inability to travel could be also be one of the factor due to commitments, financial constraints and etc.
This is rare, but some might also think that meeting someone virtually and being in a long distance relationship is unrealistic because they know very little about the person, and believes that meeting and talking in person is rather "real".
Honestly, long distance relationships are tough. It requires equal amount of efforts from both sides to make it work. Also, trust and understanding is pivotal.
Because long distance relationships are expensive. I'm not talking money, let me break it down.
People want companionship and some want physical touch. a long-distance relationship is a double whammy from the standpoint of you lose physical access to your significant other and you STILL have to be faithful, so you start that relationship with a built-in issue.
Let's be realistic, most people don't have the discipline to handle that.
Most women don't care for an open relationship (and/or most guys aren't bold enough to say what they want)
And believe or not, some guys don't want to cheat.
So, they'd rather be single in case someone closer is available. the closer woman will have more value is HIS eyes. If a guy is dead set on being with a woman long-distance, he can withstand all of this. Long-distance relationships are for people who are good with delayed gratification.
Doesn't make him better than those who can't, simply means he's better at handling long-distanced relationships.
Sex? You need to step back and look at the bigger picture, because I'm slightly more familiar with your situation because I gave my opinion on another question of yours yesterday.
In your specific case, you need to remove "long-distance" from the equation, I've told you already.
If he lived in the same town, he would've done the same thing and you would see it for what it truly is. He's using "long-distance" as an excuse because it is there to use.
it's a trust issue. How does he know that when he's not around she doesn't have 3 or 4 other guys she's talking to and rotating around while he's not around and can't see her? Also long distance relationships usually dont last and the guy can dig in deeper into her past. Yes guys want to know what's been going on with her, how she is looked at in her own community, and the company she keeps. All of these things reveal much to a man. If he's serious about commitment he wants and needs to know what she's all about. Men want to know "is she fit to give me children?" "is she going to be there to take care of our children if something happens to me?" "is she trustworthy?" "Is she good with her money and budgeting?"
All of these things are important to know and I expect a good woman to ask these same things about the man she is with. My mother walked out on me at a young age. I wish my mother loved me and I had both my parents in my life. Because I know how that is I want my children to have two parents who love them and raise them well. Otherwise I would just rather pass altogether on having kids. Also I dont think I could bare to go through I divorce. I think it would absolutely destroy me which is why I have remained MGTOW for many years now. I can't go through that. Some people say "Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all". I wholeheartedly disagree with that statement.
Opinion
107Opinion
Why would you want a ldr? Maybe they want someone closer that they can spend actual time with.. Not wanting a long distance relationship isn't wrong.. Sleeping with someone and then using the LDR as excuse is not cool tho...
Really think about your question here. Why would s guy want to do long distance? Men need physical touch. Sexual gratification. Its women that like long distance because they are obsessed with ATTENTION.
I think physical intimacy is important. Think about a soldier on duty going home to his wife. What is the first thing do you think they will do?
Given meeting for the first time after only doing long distance is quite different but being able to share physical intimacy I think is one of the highest value of being in person.
But I agree with you that both partners should agree on what that first meeting should like and what you should do together then. Both of you should agree not just one
This isn't just guys. Military wives/spouses cheat left and right on their deployed partners.
The answer is simple, not enough sex and no opportunity to have sex in between visits.
If he ain't getting sex and the girl visits, great, let's hook up. But in a relationship, she is gone for a long time then he is blocked from any opportunities he might find locally.
People have physical intimacy needs, men and women. It is great to be so into someone that being alone for six months with someone you deeply love, is better than any immediate intimacy,.
Not all people feel deeply enough to not miss sex in a powerful way, enough to be exclusive.
It depends on what you call LDR. To me, I usually think of international relationships because they have become so common. As far as I'm concerned that kind of long distance relationship is not a real relationship. It's only wishful thinking. In order to become a "real" relationship it needs to be local, which means somebody has to move.
To me, I'd rather be within 30-45 minutes of someone. More than that and it becomes too difficult to get together.
To directly answer the question, I don't want to be in a LDR because I don't consider it a relationship at all.
As for sex, distance doesn't matter for casual sex. That's something you can do every now and then when you get the chance. I think a real relationship needs more than every now and then. It's an ongoing day-to-day thing. They are two different things.
If one person lives in the US and the other lives in Romania would more likely see each other less than if both lived in the US. If one lived in Washington and the other lived in Vermont would most likely see each other less than thise who both lived in the same state. Those who live a 3+ hours away would most likely see each other less than those who live 1 hour away. Those who live less than an hour away from each other are more likely to see each other even more.
The further away from eeeaxh other the more planning it takes to see each other and the more free time you will want to have to see each other. The lack of being able to do things together, lack of cuddling, lack of romace, harder to comfort each other etc.
Because when a guy really likes a girl he wants to be able to see her , if she is long distance he feels like he can’t really see her and protect her because he isn’t there for her to feel safe in his arms. Most guys are territorial when it comes to falling for a girl , so being territorial. Basically means he has insecurities , he will be worrying a lot about her and hoping she isn’t up to no good behind his back , so a lot of people are against long distance relationships for that reason , they have insecurities that they can’t deal with , so it’s easier for them to find someone that they can see all the time
because they want to reap the benefits of having you around when he’s in town but once he’s back home he has the freedom to do what he wants. or it could just be a preference thing.. a lot of people like the physical in relationships.. like wanting someone they can see, touch, hang out and have sex with whenever verse someone they actually have to wait, plan and spend money on every now and then due to distant traveling.
but if a person really wants to be with you distance wouldn’t be a problem and they’ll actually make plans to move you to them or move closer to you if the relationship is that serious.
@Tdieseler yep pretty much
because guys like sex... we live for it.
a long distance relationship means we dont have access to sex when we want it... unless we cheat on you, but most of us dont want the secrets that may be found out later, when we are supposed to be in a (assumed monogamous) relationship...
which really means, if we aren't in a relationship, we can go out looking for sex whenever we want it without having to hide it or have secrets...
but there are the losers who dont care about the feelings of the one they are in a relationship with, and will cheat at every opportunity...
The same reason most hate cooking shows.
You can't eat it, smell it, nor taste it. But are expected to be there and interact with it.
LDRs are largely pointless with unknown partners, as you're interacting with someone you cannot get further with.
Even long term partners find their relationship becomes strained if it remains long distance too long.
You could say a relationship based on sex and intimacy isn't going to survive an LDR as the very thing that makes it, is not possible,
LDRs are pretty risky sometimes like really risky. Another reason would be that both sides might get bored of it after a while sometimes because of lack of trust (they might not want to share everything about them with the other side) and sometimes because it gets repetitive where both or one of the sides aren't really initiating convos, engaging in online activities together, etc.. a lot of people don't want to turn their life around by moving into other countries for their relationship when they can engage in one where they live (that is if they live in different countries)
Out of sight out of mind. Men have certain needs same way was women do. However men tend to get more needy when they don’t have their partner around. He doesn’t want to get in a LDR probably because he knows he’s going to hurt you at some point and look for someone else after some time.
Many problems long distance have like if you even get attached you can't have them, and never know what's going on in the others life. And tbh it's just not about guys it's everyone some people want personal touch some don't care but do want the other person to be around.
I hate long distance relationships because of the long distance.. easy lol. I remember back in the days when MSN Messenger and Skyrock (it was the Facebook of that time for francophone people) I've met a couple girls from France which I've seen a big chance to have a serious relationship, but guess what days pass and you start feeling like it's a waste of time, you don't know what to talk about after a short period, you feel like meeting is impossible especially that I was still a student at that time (no job, no money). Then when I started to grow up I started to realize there are bigger issues than just the distance like cultural difference and religion. I still fantasize about the idea of having a relationship with someone on the other side of the globe from time to time but as soon as I remember it's a waste of time I just move on.
in my opinion it's not about being a girl or boy. It's about a person. Some are ready to be in a LDR because they feel very strong connection with the other person and it still exists when they're far from each other. But the others need someone who is there both mentally and physically because that's what they want from relationship.
LDR are difficult and require a lot of strength, patience and trust. And not everyone is made for that.
I was in a long distance relationship once. In the long run it didn't work out due to our work schedules conflicting and at one point we didn't see each other for 6 weeks. She was only 2 hours away also. So initially, I was willing! And up to a certain point the sex was cool. But after a certain point we both had to move on. No harm done.
It's very hard to make a long distance relationship work, especially over time. We know this. Women often see this differently, but we think logically. We know it's highly likely to fail, so don't even "risk" it for the most part.
I was in one, and it wasn't even a huge distance, but as it was I could only get to see her once a week. This was fine for a while, until feelings deepened and she started wanting to see me more and more often. This just wasn't possible at the time for me. But she couldn't see/understand that (it was different in her mind). She thought I should just drop everything to go see her ("if I really wanted to"), but life doesn't work like that. We eventually split up. It wasn't for this reason alone, but this was definitely one of them.
So that's why. Sex is easier. No strings. Far less "complications".
Long distance relationships work depending on what the ultimate goal and personal preference is. You prefer to not be in LDR bc you had one girlfriend who had different breeds and was unreasonable about it. That is about preference it doesn’t have to do with “ logic”... anything can be made out to be logical of it works. Two people who want to stay together even though they live apart , for them LDR is logical. There are men here who are for it and women who are against it. You had a bad experience with one woman. This really isn’t men vs women. Just people with different preferences. I understand she asked about men but answering for yourself can be done without pigeonholing women.
They don’t. Some will not want it just like some women won’t. Many are more than eager for a led if they really want to be with someone. It completely depends on the person. You are in a specific situation with a specific guy... maybe explain the situation and ask your questions based on that. It might be more helpful to you 😊😊
What do you mean by have sex with her? If its long distance that usually means no sex or very limited sex but also very intensive effort compared to a non LDR as having no ability to truly interact with them and make new experiences with each other, your connection with the person is much more difficult to maintain.
I mean they’ll know they don’t want a relationship cause of distance but still have sex with her
How the hell is he having sex with her if its a long distance relationship? How long distance are you talking?
Because guys have wised up & they know there’s a 99% chance you’re letting Chad & Joe who live in your town bang the food out of your guts anytime they want. Meanwhile you want to string the LD guy along because he makes you feel like someone cares about more than sex.
And guys looking for serious tend to focus on one woman at a time so the LD guy is putting his sex life on hold. It’s a really bad deal for him.
My 1st Relationship was LDR lasted for 4 years 2nd Relationship was for 3 years LDR
& 3rd Relationship was also LDR lasted for 4 years.
Soo if someone can really suggest you about LDR , I think I can do it much better.
And all I would suggest is
" If you & your partner aren't working on the relationship constantly, you Should not get into LDR , because honestly it really fucking hard to be in. LDR needs a lot of mutual understanding & compassion , which usually most of time fade away."
I think this would clear your thoughts on LDR.
I was in a ldr and it ended because of it. We could only see each other once or twice a year, and that screwed it's over. Some couples can make it work somehow and is good, but mostly they are doomed to fail.
Without being able to spend time together, converse normally, have physical contact... Relationships tend to get cold and sour.
Guys will want sex in LDR or close by.
If women are okay to have sex without a commitment, then that’s what she will get...
If you want a boyfriend, talk to him and not have sex with him till you two have a good understanding of what ea want.
LDRs are tough. The lack of sex and physical intimacy is tough, and so is the simple lack of physical presence to go on dates with. I've tried the whole LDR thing... it was rough for a lot of reasons, not the least of which being that we were long distance.
Look, long term relationships are hard to maintain. Simple gestures like hand holding or hugging which can be taken for granted, will suddenly become super important. Dating from across the country and such, can be a source of great heartache if you dont see each other in person from time to time.
LDR are too challenging and difficult to maintain. They rarely ever work out. They're aren't fulfilling.
LDRs don't last because you have to have a connection with that person and the chemical response to someone is produced by physically being with the partner. You can assume and romanticize but in the end if you can't see the person it fizzles out.
For what it's worth, it's hard to have a consistent sexual relationship and a LDR. The two ideas aren't really connected. Hence, you may have already partially answered your own question. Since some guys desire more consistent sexual interactions with a partner, they are less likely to be enthusiastic about going through a LDR.
Because they consider you a booty call. Why put in the work when the reward is free? LDRs are pretty hard to maintain and people tend to cheat often anyway. I'm not against LDR but i do not think most people have the will power to maintain a healthy, happy, and loyal relationship. Plus a lot of people just want the sex part anyway now and see no need for a relationship.
Because long-distance relationships seldom work.
If you visit the Reddit you will find story after story of long-distance relationships that did not work because the female wanted the use of a penis that was close by.
When I was a soldier, it was unusual to find a soldier whose wife/girlfriend did not ride the carousel while he was away.
Love languages explain how people give and receive love and jt makes a lot of sense. My top two are physical touch and quality time. You can't have physical touch in a LDR and talking on the phone doesn't really count as spending quality time together. I feel neglected in long term relationships because you're physically alone and can't see each other.
Because in the long run it just doesn't feel the same. Even my guy friends who have moved away, eventually you lose touch with people. It's a natural human feeling to want to be close to the one's we care about. Plus, guys and men assume that if she's on the other side of the world, she could be "fooling around" on the side as well.
For me I want to actually be with you. I suck at keeping in touch strictly by phone. My parents, little brother and sister, aunts, uncles all get upset with me because of lack of keeping in touch. So if you’re long distance and your just a girlfriend lol you’d be lucky if I still remember you
Well, I'm a girl and would never start a ldr.
It's basically a torture.
What if you liked someone?
What do you mean? You can communicate in real time on high-tech smartphones.
Cuddling is overrated. Communication is the most important thing for women, and it's amazing with modern technology.
The only problem is that he as a guy isn't getting any sex, but you can send him nude pics he can fap to.
@ActiveSh1tter someone want sex too you know and not on a damn video screen
@ActiveSh1tter*women
@Brainsbeforebeauty women don't need sex. Only males do.
@ActiveSh1tter oh bull crap. Stop acting like you know what women need... I love how some men try to act like they know more about what women need then women themselves.. You are assuming.. Me being a woman, I won't speak for all women, but I think I know more about my needs than you do.. But you keep assuming you know everything, but you never learn that way, but okay 🤷🏼♀️
@Brainsbeforebeauty Women always try to trivialize sex, and they shame anyone who gives it too much importance.
Their hatred of male sexuality is so extreme that if a male so much as flashes them from a distance they'll say they're traumatized for life. Women only tolerate sex if they get something in return, that's why promiscuous women always claim they feel "used and worthless", they didn't get their vagina's worth. Women are outraged about rape for the same reason, because it's sex they don't get paid for.
When I claim "women need sex they love dick!" women will reply "lol we don't care about your schlong". And when I say women don't need sex then they reply "lol what women want sex as much men". You just like contradicting people for the sake of it.
@ActiveSh1tter no You just talk a lot of sexist crap cuz you can't see people as people just a gender. And women not wanting to be flashed a stranger's penis is hardly the same as living sex with their hubby b like wtf what are you smoking 😂 and then don't be a flasher lololol and don't presume to no me is it contradicting 🤔 or calling people out on their bullshit.. 🤔
@ActiveSh1tter *loving
@Brainsbeforebeauty Women can enjoy sex, but it's like enjoying a house chore, or painting nails. It depends on her mindset, mood, and congeniality. What I'm saying is that having sex is not important to them. The only important thing to women is what they get in return for giving him sex. If they get nothing then they go apeshit screaming about being "violated" and wanting castration punishment.
@ActiveSh1tter okay I'm done here you obviously have a bad view about all women, and rather just bash and hate on women and that's your prerogative , but 2 thinks with that:
1- if women act like sex is a chore with you maybe YOU'RE the reason why!
2-You really have no frickin clue about women, just your bias and asshat assumptions!
But hey, good luck with that. Peace out ✌️✌️
@elisa_0 pay him no mind he don't know wtf he taking about.. He just wants to hate and bash on women.. I ain't got time for that.. I'm a lover not a fighter.. Oh wait I hate sex cuz I'm a female 🙄 what a penis eeewww 😂😂😂 he's actually quite funny if he believes that crap 💩😂😂
Why would a guy seek or want a long-distance relationship? Sadly in most cases, it is because of a lack of choice. He is settling for this girl because he can't acquire another closer to home. Men do want the love and affection a relationship brings, not the pen pal bond a long-distance relationship would mean in practice. It's far more difficult to develop a meaningful bond without being in the presence of each other.
Because, some guys can't stand been far from the girl they love.. they can't feel the effectiveness of her presence in this case.. personally, my girlfriend have to be in the same place where i am.. so we could build a strong relationship (if we wanted end up in marriage).. distance creates a lack of trust and its so damn hard to be survived
Maybe he doesn't like you specifically. He only likes being intimate with you. I suggest getting into an online/"long distance" relationship first, before meeting in person. That way he'll get to know you as a person before taking it to the next level.
Because they can't have sex in a long distance relationship. It's explained very well in the free book "Are Men the Weaker Sex" by Josette Sona. You don't want to get into relationships with people like that. They may just be using you for what you can give them, not what you can give each other.
My mind will develop so much desire to be with this person (that I don't even know, other than through pixles on my screen and symbols I interpret as words and language, and reproduced sound waves that minic her voice). Most guys probably hate not having the real thing.
Doesn't everyone hate let. If yu had a regular relationship beforehand it would be different than you both are liiving far away always and not seeing each other frequently.
If you had been a couple and the other moved like for school military that kind of stuff sure continue your relationship long distance. If you met each other on the internet and have never been a couple its different can't have it both ways , it's one or the other
Its very simple guys are also humans and want physical contact (besides sex) like cuddling, hugging, or just be together with her on a walk, excursion, road trip, dinner etc.
On a ldr you only have this 1 or 2x a year (depending) else you only see each other on a screen.
I had ldr was fine at first but after awhile wanted see her more she was happy seeing me every 5 to 6 wks, and after nearly 2 years i left her i regretted it at first but now realise was best decision i made, but when i did see her we had plenty of sex
In my opinion one misses out on the physical aspects of a relationship, like holding hands, kissing, cuddling, snuggling while watching a movie.
A long distance relationship is more mental and less physical, unfortunately a lot of men can be lazy when it comes to relationships and can't put the effort in and gets distracted.
I don't hate them but that's all I seem to have had on line I would rather meet someone here that I can touch and hold and yes make love to so are you saying that guys thatvarebin a LDR ALSO HAVE something going with a girl where they live
If a girl is having sex without a committed relationship then that's her choice. Guys will suggest no relationship/friends with benefits 9 out 10 times... and all 9 of those girls have agency to say: Don't think so gigolo... bye.
because its hard to ensure the other person is not cheating and its just hard not being able to get intimate or physical. I think girls also don't want to be in LDR
I heard that guys can have sex without having romantic feelings for the girl.
Very true too!!
I dont know if hate is the right word.. Before my wife and i moved in together, we were 4 hours apart, I hated not having her with me. But after about 6 months of being together, she moved in with me.. and the LDR part of the relationship was over..
@t-8900 Thanks, we have been together for 7 years
I just think some people whether Men or Women are just looking for sex and sexual favors and some Women do it for money but are not a prostitute and some Men do it to get a B J and pull a trick with a Women
Long distance relationships don't work, but if he can have sex with her then the distance is not very long, that said if they barely see each other then it can hardly be called a relationship anyway.
Cause long distance relationships are fucking awful.
Because the stats are that within 90 days one or the other will find someone else.
The guy just wants to get his dick wet. Duh.
Ya got nuthin' here, you're wasting your time. And you're giving your sex up for free.
you're hot but it's a long drive babe. LDR's are shit when you can have an actual relationship
It sounds you have met with players A true guy who wants a relationship making it regular visits and make arrangements for you to visit him
Because physical affection is one of the primary perks of being in a relationship, but being long distance eliminates that.
Because guys don't want the commitment.
Guys just want pussy without having to be responsible for someone's feelings.
It's the old saying why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free.
Many don't. Some I think are Comfy with it from Where--They Sit. lolxx
Cuz you like to see the person you're with I guess I don't know
Because he dosnt like you enough. When will girls learn.
Unless he takes it further, you are nothing but sex to him
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