What would you do in this situation, Guy was promised sex on vacation, girl reneges, guy cuts all funding. Was he wrong?

[Anonymous]

You and your girlfriend decide to go on vacation, Its two flights and a boat ride away, an extremely expensive vacation 5k+. Before you leave the girlfriend is talking about all of the sex she wanted to have and the like. Like really taking up how bad she wants you.. You get there to the room and the first night she says she's feeling sick, Second night she says she has a head ache (bullshit by the way, sex usually cures head aches) Third night she says "Im just not feeling it, and i want to get to know you better"

Understandably the guy was upset and he told her as much, She responded by saying "I might be your girlfriend and you might have spent a ton on this vacation but that does not entitle you to sex" His response was "Well i am not interested in forcing you to do anything you dont want to, But you are also not entitled to my money nor are you entitled to me continuing to fund you on this vacation" And he canceled her return flight and removed her name from his room. She attempted to get a new room but could not because she had no money. He went to get breakfast. Later she came back to him, apologized to him, and begged to get back into his room and promised him what ever he wanted. He told her "Im sorry, not going to happen, you made your choice, now live with it."

Quite honestly i am on his side for one major reason, She lead him to believe she wanted more than just a "platonic" vacation. I am not sure i would have canceled her flight, I might have moved it up so she could go home immediately, But i would definitely cut off all funding and finances the same way he did.. Beyond the flight. She needs to learn there are consequences for her actions.

What about you? What would you do?

Updates

+1 y

One thing i would clarify.. I understand his feelings and the like.. I would be angry and pissed off as well if she was leading me to believe something was going to happen.. But i would NOT leave her stranded. I would have moved the flight so that she could go back home. That is the one area i strongly disagree with the person that this happened to. Because neither party is entitled to the others stuf.. In his case he is not entitled to sex, in her case, she is not entitled to his money resource

[hellionthesagereborn]

Yeah, she was using him for his money, that makes her a parasite, good riddance. I agree with him entirely. She tried to use sex to manipulate him, she tried to use affection as a weapon against him. Thats just him delousing himself, good on him.

[Browneye57]

That's what happens when you don't properly vet the bimbo before spending lavish money on here. FAIL

[Asker]

lol agreed, also what he gets for actually believing someone of the opposite sex.

[Browneye57]

Well, there is that. You try her on BEFORE you book trip, no? I mean come on, I don't feel bad for the guy, he's a simp. Rule number on - NEVER put a woman on a pedestal. EVER. And never over-compensate her without reciprocation.

[Browneye57]

*... one...
Not 'on'.

[Asker]

Exactly!

[mindNsoul]

Totally agree with what others said. But something is not adding up here. Keep in mind that girls who are willing to go on vacation with random dudes for money. Usually do know that sex is part of the drill. They have no moral compass to say oh no I'm a virgin on this vacation. They just lie to others so they're not called names. The reality of the matter there is no young man who is truly capable of having sex will take a young sexy woman to a beach getaway to discuss philosophy and life decisions. This type of women would sleep with him with no issues. Which only leaves three potential scenarios:

1) This seems like their first holiday together and they should of used it as a bonding getaway where having sex becomes natural. Both were so afraid to get used that they left no space for love and chemistry. He ruined it by being impatient and only thinking with his dick. 2) I find it strange that somebody has a girl he calls 'girlfriend' and he doesn't know yet if she wants to have sex with him or not in person. A girlfriend is someone you have feelings for and it's not an arrangement merely for sex. Will you do that to your girlfriend who wouldn't have sex with you because she was exhausted, had period, sick, or upset with you because you guys had a fight. Of course no boyfriend would! Which means he is not telling the whole story. He doesn't sound like a good person. Basically an ass. 3) They were in a long distance relationship which means sex should of not been an expectation. Not on the first night with someone you just met in a foreign country. A gain he ruined it by being impatient and she wanted to establish boundaries or make a statement and the whole thing backfired. She is stupid to depend on a guy like that and trust a stranger like that. I honestly don't buy his version of the story. A user is a user. She would of manipulated him and got what she wanted. She would of slept with him because users don't have moral compass. Like it or not he is really a horrible man. That's my opinion. And that's why I personally ALWAYS pay for my own things.

[G3tAClue]

He should have made it clear to her that this wouldn’t happen if she refused to have sex with him. It’s the exact same thing as a guy being nice just to get into your pants but once you reject him, he turns into an adult tantrum.


What kind of shitty person leaves another person stranded in another country because she won’t sleep with him? That speaks more for his character than hers, honestly. I do agree that she shouldn’t have lead him on, that’s pretty shitty too, but the guy is definitely in the wrong this time.

[Asker]

agreed. as i mentioned above, i would not have left her stranded. The worst i would have done is rescheduled the flight. On that same token she did her fair share of deception in this situation as well, so i can understand being upset, but being stranded without a way home is just wrong.

[PrudentGuy]

I hope this is not a one-sided story and I'll merely look at the Detail as "whole truth".

1) she led him on by "dangling sex" to get the vacation. From the three days responses, she had no interest in sex from the start.

Hence, she is at fault here.

2) he planned to pay for the vacation, leading her on with the vacation in hope to get sex.

Yes, a guy was right he treated her like a prostitute.

3) both missed the point of a relationship: love.

4) him stranding her, wrong.

5) she not brining cash nor card, her own "free riding" foolishness and stupidity.

All in all, I can only say, both are at fault and this vacation should not happen.

[Asker]

can't say i disagree with you

[Anonymous]

Yes, the guy was wrong. If his funding was based solely upon the expectation of sex, he was attempting to buy a prostitute. That alone is insulting and wrong, but to go further as to either leave them with the choice to be stranded alone with no funds or sleep with him is morally bankrupt. That guy is a terrible human being.

Were it me, I would have only booked the vacation if I had a romantic interest in the person and I would have done my best to enjoy our time together. There would be hope of sex, but no expectation.

[ZiZi_Bell]

This.

[G3tAClue]

Well said.

[ZiZi_Bell]

So, because she wouldn't fuck him it's ok to kick her out onto the street and cancel her ticket, stranding her somewhere completely foreign to her?

Yeah no. That's not ok. I can understand not paying for her food or changing the date on her ticket so she has to go home earlier, but abandoning her without any money somewhere that requires a boat to get to because she won't fuck you?

That's some straight up psycho bullshit.

[AmourHoney]

Lmao he deleted my comment because I disagreed with him.

[ZiZi_Bell]

Yep he did it to someone else to. I think I know who this is. He deleted my comments on a question about rape because I disagreed.
Anonymous guy, same age range. Probably a mod abusing their power.

[Asker]

Thats where i agreed with him.. The only thing i would not have done in his situation was cancel the ticket home.. thats just wrong. I also strongly dislike women leading men on in this manor.. She likely only said the things she said because she got to go on the vacation.. I know i would not want to spend two weeks with someone whom i had that kind of disagreement with.

[AmourHoney]

These people have way too much time on their hands, it’s sad.

[Asker]

@AmourHoney No sweetheart i deleted your comment because it was nasty and it was anonymous.. plus you cussed repeatedly and i have never met both of you

[ZiZi_Bell]

So you're basically saying that a woman is only worth spending time with if she's putting out?
Sorry, but no. No one owes anyone sex. Period. No matter how much money someone spends, it does not entitle them to another person's body.

[ZiZi_Bell]

@Asker are you seriously condemning someone for posting an anonymous reply while you are posting anonymous questions?
If you don't want people responding anonymously, dont ask anonymous questions.
Tell us who you are if you don't want people posting anonymous opinions.

[Asker]

at no point did i say that. please dont do the feminist thing and put words in my mouth where there are none. Both people in this situation are shitty, him just quite a bit more.

[Asker]

reread my comment, she was both nasty, insulting, and cussing. I dont permit that kind of thing on my questions. Period.

[ZiZi_Bell]

The only thing she did was say she didn't want to have sex.
He literally stranded her on an island or something after kicking her out onto the street.
One of those things is MUCH worse than the other.

[Asker]

im not disagreeing. Thats why i said in my opinion above, i would have rescheduled her flight rather than canceling it.

[ZiZi_Bell]

Yeah I read her comment dude. She was none of those things.
And neither was I when you deleted my comment off of the rape question.

[ZiZi_Bell]

And yet you're siding with him?

Something doesn't smell right there.

[Asker]

i have never written a question about rape. Please again stop accusing me of things i did not do.

[ZiZi_Bell]

Really? So it was another blue anon in the exact same age range, that talked exactly like you, that deleted comments that were "nasty" or whatever when really they just disagreed with him?
Sure thing bud.
Oh and by the way, you told her that you deleted her comment because it was nasty and anonymous. But then when I call you out for being anonymous too you say it was because she was insulting and cussing?
Please pick a story and stick to it.

[Asker]

seems as though you can't stay to the specific question

[Asker]

i have literally had my account on this site for 2 weeks. in any case believe as you wish. next time you comment on my questions pleas try to stay on the subject at hand. I owe you no explanations, I owe you no reasons or validation, nor do i owe you anything else.

[ZiZi_Bell]

I already answered it.
I've responded to everything you've said in regards to the question.
I've also responded to everything you've said in regards to deleting other comments.
I've also screencapped the entire conversation to prove that I wasn't being insulting, or cussing, or nasty. As well as to prove that I responded to every comment you made about the question itself.

So yeah, I'm real good at staying on the specific question.

[Asker]

whats the point of screen caping the conversation? you literally can do nothing with that. Nothing at all.

[ZiZi_Bell]

So if you don't owe anyone anything and don't need to explain anything, why did you ask this question anonymously?

[ZiZi_Bell]

And I screencapped it in case you decided to delete my opinion and start telling people I was being "nasty".

[Asker]

well you have not been nasty, so i have no reason to do so, i actually like your point of view. i might disagree with some of it because neither party is entitled to each others resources, Her not to his money, and him not to sex. But i like your comment.

[AmourHoney]

I didn’t cuss at all in my comment and nothing I said was nasty? I don’t know what comment that was but it wasn’t mine lmao.

[Asker]

@AmourHoney then i must have deleted yours by accident. there was a long one that was literally every other word cussing and calling me a shitty person because i agree with some of what he did, Not all of it mind you but some of it.

[Asker]

@AmourHoney If that is what happened i am truly sorry

[AmourHoney]

Yeah no, that wasn’t my comment.

[Asker]

@AmourHoney really sorry. i am an idiot sometimes, and some times this site is very glitchy on a web browser.

[AmourHoney]

It’s fine

[ZiZi_Bell]

I read that comment too and it wasn't any nastier than mine.

[ZiZi_Bell]

And you deleted the long one before Amour's. Because I wasn't able to like or comment it, but I was able to like Amour's comment.

[Asker]

i took it that way. In any case i dont silence disagreement, i silence those that can't be respectful. You were respectful.

[ZiZi_Bell]

You shouldn't be silencing anyone. They have a right to voice their opinion.
Deleting comments because you personally think they're disrespectful is like, Chinese government levels of censorship.

[Asker]

maybe. But i have been silenced by many simply for disagreeing. If everyone followed what you suggest, i might never delete comments.

[ZiZi_Bell]

What you do others says a lot more about you than what others have done to you.
It doesn't make it right just because someone else did it to you.

[ZiZi_Bell]

*to others

[SuccessfulHornDog]

They might be more than a few tweaks away from a healthy relationship.

I understand his feelings and it seems like bait and switch to me. Canceling her flight and kicking her out of the hotel room is a massive retaliation though. Does she have the means to get home by herself?

Could it have been handled better? I'm sure that there are many approaches that could have been better.

[Twalli]

You shouldn't be fully dependent on a DO"s finances. She should have brought some of her own money. If she couldn't afford a room or return flight that's her fault. What if he was mugged and all his money was stolen?

[Koalamate]

https://www.youtube.com/embed/oQbei5JGiT8

[slatyb]

Not that. No one is entitled to sex and I wouldn't have taken someone on a vacation with the idea that they would repay me with sex. I would have gotten her a separate room or sent her home early.

[MzAsh]

This is why a woman should never promise sex.

[Asker]

agreed

[ZiZi_Bell]

I agree.
But sadly sometimes that doesn't matter. The expectation will be there no matter what anyone says.
Some people think they are entitled to someone else's body just because they spent a lot of money.

[Asker]

@ZiZi_Bell i never feel like that.. but please note this part of the question "Before you leave the girlfriend is talking about all of the sex she wanted to have and the like. Like really taking up how bad she wants you.."

[ZiZi_Bell]

@Asker I was responding to what MzAsh said. And it is true. I've had guys offer to pay for a meal, or take a road trip, etc., and get pissed when I didn't let them have sex with me even though I made absolutely no indication that I was willing to do that.
I was expanding on her point. This is a good example of why women shouldn't promise sex, and I strongly agree with that, but not promising sex isn't a 100% guaranteed solution to the problem. Because people will always have unrealistic expectations and believe they are entitled to things just because they spend money.

[Asker]

@ZiZi_Bell more to your comment. thats disgusting. I cannot understand men that do that.

[ZiZi_Bell]

@Asker to be fair it's not just men who get unjustified expectations or unjustified feelings of entitlement. But more often than not it is men.

[Anonymous]

Nope.
She lied to get his money. He should have abandoned her where they were.

[b5fan]

The hotel Yes. The flight No.