I think that there are girls - some girls - who consciously and deliberately encourage guys in hopes of getting a free meal at a nice restaurant.
I don't think that most women do that. . . do they? Do you?
OlderAndWiser wants to hear from Girls only. Login to share your opinion.
No but if u want to but dinner I'd love to
Only if your mother can also attend!
Sir, you left off the option where the female pays for the meal... because that is definitely the case for some of us~
I've never had an official date, but when I do go out with guys or close guy friends, I ALWAYS offer to split the cost of the bill or meal. Most guys hate it (I guess it's ego, how men are raised to treat women situation), but I do so regardless.
Why? Because my mom taught me something years ago, "There's no such thing as a free meal."
By that if a guy pays for your meal, or anything, he typically expects something in return. While I know that's not always the case, I still feel obligated to at least offer to pay for my meal! Especially if I asked out said guy. That and it's the 21st century: I'm working and more than capable of paying for my own food, lol.
I know last time one of my friends was visiting me, I paid for our meal; no questions asked. Did he like it? No. But I made a deal with him: since I paid for that meal, he could pay for the next one. Simple as that.
Option B: I've dated but we always split the check
Haha, silly me; thank you for pointing that out to my "too eager to type up a reply self" :voted :)
Can I ask why you haven’t had an official date at 35?
This! Hence why I ALWAYS pay my own way. I’ve found that there was usually strings attached if I even let guys buy me a drink let alone dinner (I paid for your meal now you owe me sex).
@silvermoon84 I am sorry that you have had that experience and I don't doubt the truth of what you are saying, because I have heard the same from many other ladies, but not all of us are like that!
@OlderAndWiser I know 😊. I was only speaking from my own experience. I’m sorry for generating. It wasn’t my intent
@Needtovent I don't know! I've had exes, yet we just went right into dating! There was no official "date" where we went out and got to know each other. It usually started out as a friendship, or met online, then we just... dated.
Outside of them, no guy has ever wanted to take me out or accepted a date with me. Weird I know, but I'm sure I cannot be the only one at my age that's never had a real date.
@silvermoon84 Exactly! Especially nowadays. I used to wonder why my mom said that (she told me that when I was a teenager, even before I started to like guys). I've personally never had that issue, however, I've seen and read about other women, even on here that felt "obligated" to pay the guy back after he brought her dinner
I know, I know, that's not the case for all men, thank goodness. But better safe than sorry.
*generalizing not generating lol
@silvermoon84 I knew what you meant and never give people any grief about typos on this site.
I’ve never accepted a date for free food but I had two guys accuse me of exploiting them when I rejected them - one guy was 14 years older than me and was very serious and humourless and I wanted somebody who could laugh and flirt and smile so I turned him down and he said I was a prostitute who used men for money cause he could not understand why I would turn him down when he made 6 times more money than me and had a gorgeous face. Another guy gave me rides home from church so I would buy him free food when we went to dinner parties with our Christian group and he accused me of leading him on and wasting his gas money after I turned him down and he also blocked all our mutual friends from talking to me saying he did not want me to participate in social outings with the Christian group due to my bad behaviour.
Wow, that is not very Christian-like behavior!
I’ve been on this site for years - all someone needs to do is look through my profile
Yes, I have been on this site for 5 1/2 years and I think you have been here all of that time.
Nothing even remotely like troll behaviour.
I've only been on two actual dinner dates since been single... Both insisted on paying for dinner...
With my first husband, we were already a couple before ever dining out (because started dating at 15) and we used to go out once a week when I was 16 and working, and he'd pay one week, I'd pay the next week
I have never done that with the intention of getting free meals. I found that they were gentleman.
Never really think much about who pays.
In my 20's I don't recall paying on ay dates. It usually is only for one date. I might have offered. Not sure. I always knew by end of the date if there will be a second. So I don't lead them on. At the same time, I didn't think the guys I went out with had the expectation of wanting something sexual. Didn't seem like that.
I met my ex. husband after I went out with 5 guys.
On the other hand, after my divorced. I went out on a date. The guy didn't look like the picture he posted. I was nice and chatted with him. Then went to dinner, he asked to split the bill. Didn't give me a good feeling. He walked to the car wanting a kiss. I said no way, pushed him away. That was that.
Good to hear from you! We'll talk soon.
I don't need to accept a date to get a free meal. Meals aren't that expensive. As long as it isn't McDonald's or anything like that obviously, I don't need to be taken to a high end expensive restaurant to enjoy a date. Food is food. No matter how much you pay for it, at the end of the day, it's all going to turn to shit. Also, I have plenty of food at the crib. I don't accept a date if I'm not genuinely interested in getting to know the guy that asked me out. Also, not all dates that I've went on were dinner dates either. Some dates were simply hanging out with the guy and engaging in the hobbies that we had in common. However, if I do accept a dinner date and I don't like the guy for whatever reason, I wouldn't accept another date from him. Some might interpret that as "using him for a free meal," but that's not the case. I just, simply put, didn't like the guy. It happens.
If a guy thinks I want to date him because of food he insults my dignity and it's practically over before it began.
I know there are girls who date guys to get a meal in restaurant, but assuming every girl does that is really some kind mental retardation that can't be accepted in a potential partner/friend/whomever
It's never happened that I have STARTED off dating someone with an expensive meal. The natural flow just doesn't go that way. I've usually already met them in a casual or professional setting, and gotten to know them a bit. Then it progresses to a cup of coffee, drinks, snacks, group activities, and by the time it reaches a proper meal, we are already invested enough in the relationship to not just run after the main course 😅
Some guys are either too desperate and think they can make a great impression, or shall I say great bribe, to get the girl on their side, or perhaps in their bed. Or they haven't been reading into the relationship, and so misjudge which stage it is at, but they go ahead and make the invitation anyway, stepping all over their gut feelings, and ignoring the actual present dynamics of the relationship. So naturally they feel blindsided and used when the girl just walks away, when she's been giving the wrong signals or not giving the right ones all along.
Where's the option for "I've dated guys who paid for everything on a date and wouldn't let me split even though I put my money on the table and was quite insistent about splitting so I declined a second date"? lol All I ever wanted with that simple action (a symbolism) was to know we were on the same page, that we were looking for a partner -equally willing to contribute to a relationship-
That was not an option because that is an answer to a different question.
If a lady really wants to pay half of the bill, I would not object. I would tell her that I appreciated her offer, it wasn't necessary, but I would not object if it was important to her.
I have never done it. I even feel awkward when a guy I LIKE spends money on me, I certainly would hate if someone I don't have any interest in spends money on me. I used to have a friend who would use guys just to get stuff from them. And then she put them in the friend zone.
I wouldn't date anyone who has such little disregard for me as to think it's ok to pay for the meal. That's some Victorian era shit, that worked because women weren't allowed to work, so wouldn't have the money to do a date. It's 2020, I earn my money. I pay my way
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No. On the first few dates insuggest coffee or something that doesn't require money. I know im. in a tight spot and I don't expect a man to pay for me. I'd rather just talk over a coffee