Why am I always pushing guys away?

[Anonymous]

I have been told before that I am intimidating to men, I have a lot of different interests and talents, from art to music and culture, communication and analytical thinking. All of these qualities have helped me advance my career, become respectable in my profession. I feel though that some of these qualities have scared men away in the past either the guy gets overly eager to impress me which turns me off or treat me as a feminist crazy girl that cannot be dated cause she's too much free. I feel like I don't know how to read men or their intentions. I noticed that my extroverted nature and excitement are coming off as aggression to most guys I dated before. And when I explain that I'm looking for a connection and stg casual, most guys were just plainly playing me cause they told me you're a cool girl. All I want is to be respected because even if its just casual or sex I always respected the guys. I rarely found this to be reciprocated. I almost didn't realize up until now that having mostly male friends-my desire to communicate with the opposite sex comes across as chasing. What I am looking for is to socialize and love deeply not superficially. Some friends told me that I keep challenging men but I don't want to compromise that or my personality for the sake of keeping a guy interested in me. I have worked hard to become independent and educate myself, would just love to meet people who can appreciate that in me. I am also bisexual and almost never get jealous or possessive. When I tried to explain to guys that we are free individuals, they then tried to pass me on to their friends cause I'm cool and enjoy life but it's exhausting trying to have a good heart when people just enjoy playing mind and power games. Thank you for reading this, it's more like externalizing my frustration with the modern dating world and how used we became to disrespect people and both sexes do this unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

It seems to me you probably are having a couple of primary challenges with most guys.

"I have worked hard to become independent and educate myself, would just love to meet people who can appreciate that in me."

Don't expect men to appreciate this ^ in you. Unlike women, those things are not what men find valuable or attractive in the opposite sex. Ultimately men are attracted to qualities in a woman that directly or indirectly contribute to her ability to give him healthy children and be a good mother to them. Women today seem to think men are attracted to the same qualities in women that they are attracted to in men. We're not.

"I am also bisexual and almost never get jealous or possessive. When I tried to explain to guys that we are free individuals..."

Most guys are not going to be enthusiastic about this ^. I would suggest not sharing that info upfront with guys. Wait until you've established a bit of a relationship first because it will put most guys off to anything serious with you.

[jshm2]

You're just overeager, or too controlling to the guys you're trying to impress.

You maybe need to go for a boring guy that isn't very impressed by you, to help balance your nature.

Personally you seem like an annoying twerp though. But maybe that's just because of your frustrations coming across more than you probably wanted.

[Asker]

This could be an interpretation but doesn't mean it's correct. Do not think I'm a twerp but I respect your opinion.

[Nazgol]

Who cares, just do you do. You don't have to change for anyone or run around them to please them. It's better to be yourself and not 'fake'. I was in the same boat, I'm interested in a guy whose completely different from me and I think I come on too strong for him. But oh well, his loss!!

[Nazgol]

*you do you

[boggboss]

After reading I canr really pinpoint why u are having issues is it possible that u have just met shit men so far

[Asker]

Yes rather possible and sort of created a cycle of believing I deserve this

[boggboss]

Not sure why you would think that as u are not the issue here as far as the stories show but the guys u are interacting with

[Mark83]

Maybe you simply haven't met the right guy yet... Doesn't sound bad at all to me.

[Dkc123]

There's lots of i me myself in this... I think thatay be causing the problem!

[andy530]

Maybe you have a fear of intimacy