Do you feel you're single because nobody wants you or is it because you don't want anybody?

Question

cth96190 · Accepted Answer

When I was young, nobody in whom I was interested wanted me. I was a borderline incel until about 30.
As I became older, females who would have told me to FOAD when they were 20 began to come sniffing around.
They were 'ready for a good man', apparently.
By that time, I was too bitter, resentful and angry to be interested.
They had spent their teens and 20s riding the carousel and being quite unpleasant to men such as myself when we approached them.
Then, about the time that they turned 30, they expected all to be forgotten and the 'good men' to fall to their knees in gratitude that we were being shown female attention at last.
No. It does not work that way, especially if she has the crotch fruit of a couple of bad boys snapping at her kankles.
I was not interested in the consolation prize of funding the spawn of Harley MacBadBoy and providing a retirement plan for his former cum dumpster.
Today I am so lonely and and sick at heart that I want to die, but I still have standards.
I still approach females when one impresses me. I am rejected, always.
Plenty of females in what is supposed to be my age range display interest in me, but I am not attracted to them. It would be like having sex with a great aunt. Throw in post-menopause vaginal atrophy to make sex impossible anyway.

Gravit1 · Accepted Answer

Want very few. So far it has only been 6, only one was close to my age. One was 7 years older and others were 4 years younger. I've been set up and other women have made advances, but generally didn't feel it. I've been attracted to a variety of women. I believe in Biological compatibility, but spiritual attraction matters much more. Oddly enough, the only two major ethnicities I have not been attracted to yet are Native Australians or Latinas. I could certainly be attracted to either, but don't know any Latinas or met any native Australians. I live in a diverse city and most of my older siblings married Latinas, but currently I know a lot of Korean women.

JEndigoBleue · Accepted Answer

It's both. You meet people that will like you and not. And, visa versa.

I'm single because I haven't met him. I liked many (Connect and Chemistry) but haven't met someone to reciprocate my foundation, standards and desires. I don't play with my heart. I know I will love a man truly from my heart with wisdom. I love on my family and friends. And, the way I love them that's how I will love a man. Unconditionally.

Do I wonder why no one sees my qualities... Yes and no. Yes, because it's typical. I don't question in the negative but positive. I know I'm a jewel and what I bring to the table. But it baffles me (at times) why one is unable to see. Maybe they do and think they are not the man for me. They are not good for me or have what it is I need and want. It's never a question of whether I'm attractive or interesting because they approach me and are engaged by me. They are entitled to not be interested. Just like I'm entitled not to like them.

So, I wait patiently. I stay open minded and kind to all. And, if it's God's will I marry. I marry. If not, life is good.

SunsetRise · Accepted Answer

At this moment in time, I feel like no one wants me. Not even me lol. This past year hasn't been the best - my mental health has taken a beating and so has my self-image. I've gained weight from being cooped up... I'm just not at my best right now. And I want to be at my best before I commit to someone.

That being said, I also want to have a romantic relationship. I've only had one in my life and it was over almost 3 years ago. I really miss having someone to talk to and someone to cuddle with. But because I feel the way I do about myself, I don't think anyone wants me. Also, it's really hard to put myself out there when I'm not even using dating apps and have no place to go mingle. My best friend suggested I go to Trader Joe's to find a man. -_-

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I want someone and I have her. Before I had her, I wanted someone and I was looking until I found her.

Dating always involves uncertainties and exposing yourself to potential hurt. You can't know someone well before you invest the time to know them well, so there is always a risk involved. I don't think things are crazier now than previously, but I live in Florida where we have had very little lockdown.

Remember, "you've gotta take a chance if you wanna find romance!"

ARWINGx1 · Answer

Although I have multiple reasons why I feel like no one would love me, the biggest/most consistent one is HOW I'd be rejected, or what the girl would say when she breaks up with me.

for example, it wouldn't be too bad if it was more like "I'm sorry, <ARWINGx1>, but this isn't working"
As I'd feel more that... well, it simply didn't work out between us, but I'm exactly a bad Boyfriend. Just need to move on and try again.

BUT, if it's something like "OMFG <ARWINGx1>, I hate you! I never wanna see you again!". Would likely make me feel that I should (altogether) give up on trying to date someone.

RingOfFire · Answer

As the poll implies, women control sex. They decide if it is going to happen or not because they can live without it more than men. So that's why so many more women said they don't want anybody and therefore so many more guys said they can't find anybody.

Men always want sex. Women, not as often. Men can't live without it, women can. So a woman's power over men comes from her ability to live without sex. Any woman can get sex any time she wants. It's no big deal for them. Men, on the other hand have to really work at it if they want sex with a woman and many can't even get any if they do.

When one person needs something less than the other person it gives the first person power over the second person. That's how power works. And womens' power comes from their relatively lesser need for sex.

JSmuve · Answer

I don't really put myself out there. I'm sure some women find me attractive but I don't really pursue them, preferring to keep to myself instead, and the ones that show possible interest I usually dismiss outright as them being friendly. I have a particular type of women that I'm interested in and I seldom ever come across her, usually in a fleeting moment in public, and feel like I'd be cheating myself if I settled for a girl I wasn't fully interested in.

Dating apps have historically been absolute shit for me, so I don't take them seriously anymore. And recently, I've been beset by a permanent vocal disability that makes it taxing to speak for long periods of time. Kinda makes things difficult to get to know someone when you're limited by how much you can speak. So that's crushed my motivation to even try to put myself out there.

Unit1 · Answer

Apparently almost nobody is interested in romance and love anymore. Only likes and follows. Like then why bother being beautiful.

Alyssa11 · Answer

Well I had a break up last summer and I was healing from all the hurt and trust issues. Discovering myself again because it’s very important to have your own life before getting into a relationship with someone first. I’m still working on that final part and then I’ll start dating again.

Elsa143 · Answer

I'm single as I don't like anyone.
I WILL NEVER EVER compromise my standards as I am capable to offer the same.
Especially if it's totally reasonable, neccessary and not inspired by fiction.
I just want X, Y and Z that's it. I'm not wasting my time anymore.
Isn't it pathetic to change partners and repeat your life story again and again?
Haven't seen or met the guy I want.

Espresso-Grande · Answer

I was single for a long time before I met my husband. At the time, I didn't really go anywhere to meet anyone. My life revolved around work. I was happy being single, but if I had met the right guy during the time I was single, I would have dated him. Eventually, I became friends with a guy who worked my brother , and he is now my husband.

itsjustlew · Answer

Both, I’m not attractive enough for a long term relationship but I’m also introverted and I don’t put myself out there. I’m not really interested in relationships right now either so it doesn’t bother me too badly. I’m just worried I’ll never find anyone and I’ll be alone forever. Also disappointing my family by being single and not having a family of my own.

NamerOfStars · Answer

There's a story that George Bernard Shaw once found, in a used bookstore, a book of his he'd given a friend with the autograph "with compliments, GBS". He promptly bought it, then sent it back to his friend again, additionally signed with "with renewed compliments, GBS".

I think at this point, the only people I'd want to date are those too sensible to want to date me.

jgokgotit · Answer

It's not really either of these options for me. Dating takes a considerable amount of time, effort and money for a man. I do not have enough of any of those 3 at the moment to date. I'm simply stretched too thin, though I would like to find someone eventually.

Floppy2112 · Answer

Neither. There are lots of reasons why people find themselves single. And it's just a matter of finding a suitable partner and time. I am not 'seeking' a relationship, but I am willing to end up in one if it's a good match.
If my only requirement is a person of the opposite sex, I can have one any time. But I do have one major requirement, sanity. It's really hard to find people who haven't willed themselves into utter chaos.

Anonymous · Answer

It would be selfish of me to date and im not a selfish person, I feel like any woman deserves someone than me, I’ve had women show interest but I ignore them because im insecure, im 25 and still selfharm, for a man im emotional, im soft, quiet, i have low self-esteem, low confidence, im probably the only man that cries for a really sad tv show like 13 Reasons why for example i cried when they showed Hannah killing herself, i have a minimum wage job. No woman deserves a man like that and this is why i stay single, they deserve better

dtweed1996 · Answer

Before I was single because I typically just dated and left or befriended them because I was sincere and I met the one who is forever mine last month because we were both seeking true love not to be used that and we realized we are really compatible when we realized I am a libra and she is an aries and those zodiac signs are most compatible

Minahh · Answer

I'd say maybe both? I have build walls to protect myself so maybe I look unapproachable. I also tolerate no shit from anyone anymore so I don't want to waste my time with players and cheap men. When mr right comes around I will definitely know it's him because he is going to treat me right and love me unconditionally what in today's society is almost sci-fi like.

Prettysammie · Answer

I fall in love too quickly and too easily. Guys tell me I’m hot and sexy, funny and relaxed. They tell me they with more girls were like me. But somehow I’m just the one they fuck and not girlfriend material

888theGreat · Answer

I am picky is why I am single. She must be a Christian, a real Christian and there aren't very many attractive women that are a real Christian. Most are married already. I will also admit that I must find her attractive physically (2nd important) , then comes intelligence which eliminates a lot right there. I mean if we can't connect with communication and issues , then strike 3. If she is average looks , she must have a knock out body , like you want to have sex 5 times a day.

Jjpayne · Answer

I'm single because no one wants me, at least no one I'm reasonably attracted too... I get your point but I'm looking for just about any girl to date and I've decided that no job to list makes it far too unattractive for any woman to touch 😞

veruca · Answer

I personally don’t want anybody. I have casual flings but I won’t be in a relationship unless they can help me grow as a person. I don’t want somebody below my standards. I don’t even want someone that is my equal. I want someone who can offer what I am lacking and I hope I could provide them the same. I think that’s the best kind of relationship. Instead of just learning about each other, You learn FROM each other.

bellybuttonlint · Answer

The poll is not surprising. Guys feel that no one wants them (true!) and women don't want anyone (true!).

Most guys don't meet the minimum physical standards of a woman... their physical and emotional standards are much higher than men's.

Paolaa988 · Answer

I mean i want somebody but i dont need them right now and for me its like guys seem attracted but can't handle my emotions and aren't seeking the same as me.

K-I-S-S · Answer

When i was single i felt like why would anybody pick me. So i just did my thing.

10 years into my steady longterm relationship, i still don't know what makes her come home every night, but it's nice that she does.

jamesgoldman · Answer

A little of column A and a little of column B

Working 70 hours a week for shitty money probably doesn't help but it's freedom and better than mooching off the state even better is they are recession proof

I-C3_ME · Answer

I feel I'm single cuz i just don't go out enough, even before covid. Though truthfully i was getting more and more outside in 2019. We'll see what life brings i guess :)

Jess1812 · Answer

I'm taken, so my bro's got this I feel more like no one impresses me and that i can do better when i meet girls.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Well if my dating history is anything to go by it's because no one wants to be with me and see's no future with me /=. Not gonna lie is kind of soul crushing to hear over and over.

menina · Answer

I'm single because I don't want anybody from where I live. Otherwise I'm open to dating.

EssenceOfLight · Answer

I think most long term singles don't want anybody. Maybe it's a trauma or insecurity, but maybe they feel as single better than with a demanding partner?

DamnSam · Answer

I just don't have the time... Mon thu sat I work 10 hour shifts Tue wed sun I have my daughter So there would only be Friday left... not enough for a relationship

Alpha09 · Answer

I don't want anybody, anyone who wants me wants to move to fast.

AmtgardJean · Answer

Pretty much all I have been able to talk to here as of late is obvious scammers or prostitutes. Not knocking the working girls, but it's not my thing.

jgibsonian1986 · Answer

I hate to be that person, but its genuinely hard to find people like me who love what I love.

serious · Answer

Simple the reason is I don't want anybody which is the main reason, there are other reasons as well.

Sonorous · Answer

Definitely because I don't want anybody. I'm temporarily mgtow.

Lynx122 · Answer

A little bit of both but I hope I can change both :)

Zina12 · Answer

I want to really focus on myself at this moment. I want to get into a relationship when I am ready, especially financially. I do not want to rely on my other half, Rather shower my loved one and provide even if I am a female

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Im not single now but when I was it was because the type of people I wanted didn't want me and I wasn't into the people that wanted me.

kitty71 · Answer

In my case I think it is a bit of both and the reason why I had been single my enbtire entire life for the last 40 years of my life

InferiorElegy · Answer

For me it's definitely a mix of both. Been rejected so much, I am at the point I don't ever want to put myself out there ever again. No one wants me I can be fine with that.

Cowboy6666 · Answer

hmm I have been single for years. I tried to search for a girlfriend online and few girls were willing to date and meet but they were from another continent, SO I am still single

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

option C: i can't find the type I want thats not taken and is inside my country.

JakeS00 · Answer

It’s because there’s someone for me someday but it’s hard to think there is.

phoebe245 · Answer

A bit of both I guess. Sometimes I don't want anyone and sometimes I feel like no one wants me

na2398 · Answer

I'm single but neither of them hold true. I'm waiting for the right partner. I know that someone deserves my love and the vice versa too.

red324 · Answer

They dont want me. None of these women even put in the time or effort either. One date and they move onto the next guy.

ALewis30 · Answer

I don't think there's anyone for me. What girl wants to date a guy who makes $15 a hour working at a retail store, makes artwork and occasionally play video games?

Vivaldi · Answer

I am single because nobody wants me. If I was a woman and single, it would be opposite. Because it is imposible for a woman to be single unless she is too chosy (unless she has a bmi over 30).

Nalix · Answer

I'm astonished that I'm married. I don't like anyone.

bolverk · Answer

I'm single by choice and intend to remain that way.

douride2 · Answer

I am single at this time mainly because I choose to be.

Dsg1193 · Answer

The ones I want don’t want me back and the ones that want me I don’t want lol

Lone_wolf122 · Answer

Neither of these options... I wish it was that simple.. It's way more complicated

loveslongnails · Answer

I guess it's (B), but it's because of (C) ... I want everybody ! LOL

es20490446e · Answer

They don't want me because I don't want them as they are: fucked up.

Tonita91996 · Answer

A little bit of both there is a world fullied with idiots. If people act like they had some sense than I wouldn't be single.

Neal_Anblome · Answer

🤷🏾‍♀️

Anonymous · Answer

At the moment I am not interested, because I just ended a relationship. I need a bit more time before I start dating and using dating apps.

Anonymous · Answer

A little bit of both I guess. I just wanna find the right person for me.

MackWestwood · Answer

One sounds like a lack of self-esteem and the other sounds like lack of self-reflection.

collie22 · Answer

if you don't want to look or you don't care the results are the same

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