Do you feel you're single because nobody wants you or is it because you don't want anybody?

[Uptowngirl88]

No one wants me

I don't want anybody

Updates

+1 y

I dont want anybody dating scene seems nuts right now. Hard to know whose legit and who isn't

[cth96190]

When I was young, nobody in whom I was interested wanted me. I was a borderline incel until about 30.
As I became older, females who would have told me to FOAD when they were 20 began to come sniffing around.
They were 'ready for a good man', apparently.
By that time, I was too bitter, resentful and angry to be interested.
They had spent their teens and 20s riding the carousel and being quite unpleasant to men such as myself when we approached them.
Then, about the time that they turned 30, they expected all to be forgotten and the 'good men' to fall to their knees in gratitude that we were being shown female attention at last.
No. It does not work that way, especially if she has the crotch fruit of a couple of bad boys snapping at her kankles.
I was not interested in the consolation prize of funding the spawn of Harley MacBadBoy and providing a retirement plan for his former cum dumpster.
Today I am so lonely and and sick at heart that I want to die, but I still have standards.
I still approach females when one impresses me. I am rejected, always.
Plenty of females in what is supposed to be my age range display interest in me, but I am not attracted to them. It would be like having sex with a great aunt. Throw in post-menopause vaginal atrophy to make sex impossible anyway.

[Gravit1]

Want very few. So far it has only been 6, only one was close to my age. One was 7 years older and others were 4 years younger. I've been set up and other women have made advances, but generally didn't feel it. I've been attracted to a variety of women. I believe in Biological compatibility, but spiritual attraction matters much more. Oddly enough, the only two major ethnicities I have not been attracted to yet are Native Australians or Latinas. I could certainly be attracted to either, but don't know any Latinas or met any native Australians. I live in a diverse city and most of my older siblings married Latinas, but currently I know a lot of Korean women.

[JEndigoBleue]

It's both. You meet people that will like you and not. And, visa versa.

I'm single because I haven't met him. I liked many (Connect and Chemistry) but haven't met someone to reciprocate my foundation, standards and desires. I don't play with my heart. I know I will love a man truly from my heart with wisdom. I love on my family and friends. And, the way I love them that's how I will love a man. Unconditionally.

Do I wonder why no one sees my qualities... Yes and no. Yes, because it's typical. I don't question in the negative but positive. I know I'm a jewel and what I bring to the table. But it baffles me (at times) why one is unable to see. Maybe they do and think they are not the man for me. They are not good for me or have what it is I need and want. It's never a question of whether I'm attractive or interesting because they approach me and are engaged by me. They are entitled to not be interested. Just like I'm entitled not to like them.

So, I wait patiently. I stay open minded and kind to all. And, if it's God's will I marry. I marry. If not, life is good.

[SunsetRise]

At this moment in time, I feel like no one wants me. Not even me lol. This past year hasn't been the best - my mental health has taken a beating and so has my self-image. I've gained weight from being cooped up... I'm just not at my best right now. And I want to be at my best before I commit to someone.

That being said, I also want to have a romantic relationship. I've only had one in my life and it was over almost 3 years ago. I really miss having someone to talk to and someone to cuddle with. But because I feel the way I do about myself, I don't think anyone wants me. Also, it's really hard to put myself out there when I'm not even using dating apps and have no place to go mingle. My best friend suggested I go to Trader Joe's to find a man. -_-

[VanillaSalt]

Trader Joe’s? Lmao.

You gotta take care of yourself especially during these times. If ya ever wanna talk just message me. With everything online so negative a bit of positive conversation makes people feel better.

[SunsetRise]

Thank you 😊

[na2398]

@SunsetRise Please don't feel melancholic about yourself. Even I have been struggling with mental health issues these days. It doesn't make me less attractive to other people. The ones who stay in these tough times are our real mates. :) Also, if you're enduring all of this, it makes you stronger. Don't worry about getting a partner. It'd come in the most unexpected way. Sending lots of optimism. :)

[OlderAndWiser]

I want someone and I have her. Before I had her, I wanted someone and I was looking until I found her.

Dating always involves uncertainties and exposing yourself to potential hurt. You can't know someone well before you invest the time to know them well, so there is always a risk involved. I don't think things are crazier now than previously, but I live in Florida where we have had very little lockdown.

Remember, "you've gotta take a chance if you wanna find romance!"

[Thedivinechic]

Welp. Gotta put in work. 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

[ARWINGx1]

Although I have multiple reasons why I feel like no one would love me, the biggest/most consistent one is HOW I'd be rejected, or what the girl would say when she breaks up with me.

for example, it wouldn't be too bad if it was more like "I'm sorry, <ARWINGx1>, but this isn't working"
As I'd feel more that... well, it simply didn't work out between us, but I'm exactly a bad Boyfriend. Just need to move on and try again.

BUT, if it's something like "OMFG <ARWINGx1>, I hate you! I never wanna see you again!". Would likely make me feel that I should (altogether) give up on trying to date someone.

[RingOfFire]

As the poll implies, women control sex. They decide if it is going to happen or not because they can live without it more than men. So that's why so many more women said they don't want anybody and therefore so many more guys said they can't find anybody.

Men always want sex. Women, not as often. Men can't live without it, women can. So a woman's power over men comes from her ability to live without sex. Any woman can get sex any time she wants. It's no big deal for them. Men, on the other hand have to really work at it if they want sex with a woman and many can't even get any if they do.

When one person needs something less than the other person it gives the first person power over the second person. That's how power works. And womens' power comes from their relatively lesser need for sex.

[JSmuve]

I don't really put myself out there. I'm sure some women find me attractive but I don't really pursue them, preferring to keep to myself instead, and the ones that show possible interest I usually dismiss outright as them being friendly. I have a particular type of women that I'm interested in and I seldom ever come across her, usually in a fleeting moment in public, and feel like I'd be cheating myself if I settled for a girl I wasn't fully interested in.

Dating apps have historically been absolute shit for me, so I don't take them seriously anymore. And recently, I've been beset by a permanent vocal disability that makes it taxing to speak for long periods of time. Kinda makes things difficult to get to know someone when you're limited by how much you can speak. So that's crushed my motivation to even try to put myself out there.

[Unit1]

Apparently almost nobody is interested in romance and love anymore. Only likes and follows.

Like then why bother being beautiful.

[Alyssa11]

Well I had a break up last summer and I was healing from all the hurt and trust issues. Discovering myself again because it’s very important to have your own life before getting into a relationship with someone first. I’m still working on that final part and then I’ll start dating again.

[Elsa143]

I'm single as I don't like anyone.
I WILL NEVER EVER compromise my standards as I am capable to offer the same.
Especially if it's totally reasonable, neccessary and not inspired by fiction.
I just want X, Y and Z that's it. I'm not wasting my time anymore.
Isn't it pathetic to change partners and repeat your life story again and again?
Haven't seen or met the guy I want.

[Espresso-Grande]

I was single for a long time before I met my husband. At the time, I didn't really go anywhere to meet anyone. My life revolved around work. I was happy being single, but if I had met the right guy during the time I was single, I would have dated him. Eventually, I became friends with a guy who worked my brother , and he is now my husband.

[itsjustlew]

Both, I’m not attractive enough for a long term relationship but I’m also introverted and I don’t put myself out there. I’m not really interested in relationships right now either so it doesn’t bother me too badly. I’m just worried I’ll never find anyone and I’ll be alone forever. Also disappointing my family by being single and not having a family of my own.

[kingykringy]

You’re only 17, why are they rushing you?

[NamerOfStars]

There's a story that George Bernard Shaw once found, in a used bookstore, a book of his he'd given a friend with the autograph "with compliments, GBS". He promptly bought it, then sent it back to his friend again, additionally signed with "with renewed compliments, GBS".

I think at this point, the only people I'd want to date are those too sensible to want to date me.

[jgokgotit]

It's not really either of these options for me. Dating takes a considerable amount of time, effort and money for a man. I do not have enough of any of those 3 at the moment to date. I'm simply stretched too thin, though I would like to find someone eventually.

[Floppy2112]

Neither. There are lots of reasons why people find themselves single. And it's just a matter of finding a suitable partner and time. I am not 'seeking' a relationship, but I am willing to end up in one if it's a good match.
If my only requirement is a person of the opposite sex, I can have one any time. But I do have one major requirement, sanity. It's really hard to find people who haven't willed themselves into utter chaos.

[Anonymous]

It would be selfish of me to date and im not a selfish person, I feel like any woman deserves someone than me, I’ve had women show interest but I ignore them because im insecure, im 25 and still selfharm, for a man im emotional, im soft, quiet, i have low self-esteem, low confidence, im probably the only man that cries for a really sad tv show like 13 Reasons why for example i cried when they showed Hannah killing herself, i have a minimum wage job. No woman deserves a man like that and this is why i stay single, they deserve better

[dtweed1996]

Before I was single because I typically just dated and left or befriended them because I was sincere and I met the one who is forever mine last month because we were both seeking true love not to be used that and we realized we are really compatible when we realized I am a libra and she is an aries and those zodiac signs are most compatible

[Minahh]

I'd say maybe both? I have build walls to protect myself so maybe I look unapproachable. I also tolerate no shit from anyone anymore so I don't want to waste my time with players and cheap men. When mr right comes around I will definitely know it's him because he is going to treat me right and love me unconditionally what in today's society is almost sci-fi like.

[888theGreat]

I am picky is why I am single. She must be a Christian, a real Christian and there aren't very many attractive women that are a real Christian. Most are married already. I will also admit that I must find her attractive physically (2nd important) , then comes intelligence which eliminates a lot right there. I mean if we can't connect with communication and issues , then strike 3. If she is average looks , she must have a knock out body , like you want to have sex 5 times a day.

[Jjpayne]

I'm single because no one wants me, at least no one I'm reasonably attracted too... I get your point but I'm looking for just about any girl to date and I've decided that no job to list makes it far too unattractive for any woman to touch 😞

[veruca]

I personally don’t want anybody. I have casual flings but I won’t be in a relationship unless they can help me grow as a person. I don’t want somebody below my standards. I don’t even want someone that is my equal. I want someone who can offer what I am lacking and I hope I could provide them the same. I think that’s the best kind of relationship. Instead of just learning about each other, You learn FROM each other.

[chris_987]

You should try surgardaddy. com

[Prettysammie]

I fall in love too quickly and too easily. Guys tell me I’m hot and sexy, funny and relaxed. They tell me they with more girls were like me. But somehow I’m just the one they fuck and not girlfriend material

[james_d0007]

Don't let past experience spoil your current life.

[bellybuttonlint]

The poll is not surprising. Guys feel that no one wants them (true!) and women don't want anyone (true!).

Most guys don't meet the minimum physical standards of a woman... their physical and emotional standards are much higher than men's.