Why are gold diggers so looked down upon?

[nella965]

but 48 yr old men ( sex diggers) who date 18 yr old girls are not looked down upon?

lets be honest right here, there is nothing wrong with a woman being attracted to men for money. Women are only doing what is natural. Just like men will always be more attracted to younger women.

Updates

+1 y

I love how people on here think that women can use men for their money but men can't use women just for their hot bodies. It comes to show how dumb some people are.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Your question is stupid.

Relationships are just a best friend you have sex with, and sex is normal in an equal relationship.

Being a leech and mooching off someone is not, and at that point you are trying to have a guy be your boyfriend and your father, which is odd considering what you are complaining about.

You complain an older guy is dating a younger woman, while at the same time, you won't grow up enough to cover your own needs/wants, and you're already 26? Seriously? You do realize that if that 18 year old has a stable job and doesn't want to mooch off a guy, then that means she is being more of an adult than you yes?

Age gaps are another debate entirely (as in you can't justify being a gold digger by saying something else is bad).

I personally feel a 30 year gap is a bit much (and thats putting it nicely, anything over 10 years is too big a gap in my opinion) but I'm also rather picky, and if they are both adults, and happy, I'm not gonna judge, and it's none of my business.

But if a woman expects me to be her bank thats not gonna fly, I'll dump her right then and there.

If she were disabled or too busy raising a kid of mine I would make an exception (I don't wan't any kids though so I'm not having any), and getting her a gift on occasion I don't mind either, but I don't tolerate entitled lazy people.

Also sex digger is a dumb term for age gap relationships, as it implies sex shouldn't be in relationships, rather than relationships should have compatibility and age gaps that large drastically descrease that liklihood.

[nella965]

You don’t think it’s possible for a man to just “date” a woman for her hot body?

[TheSpaceGnome]

No where in my entire comment did I imply that that would be impossible.

[Anonymous]

“Sex diggers”. Amusing. 😄 (I think there’s some truth in what you’re saying, though I don’t exactly admire gold diggers or sexy diggers.)

[Opinion Owner]

*sex diggers

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for mho

[Zzmaex]

Uhm both are looked down upon very harshly. Gold diggers aren’t people who want love, or to build a family. Just money so that themselves can have a fabulous, expensive life. Sex diggers, they’re the ones who might feel like they love, but aren’t at all. Women aren’t objects, but they like to treat them as one.
Both of these types of people are shamed upon by society. I don’t know what you mean when you ask why gold diggers are more frowned upon then sex diggers. In short words, they both suck.

[Sophia001]

If a man has lots of money , he can become sex digger easily, because all of us are gold diggers.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I have lots of female friends who aren't gold diggers. Most womrn aren't.

[TheSpaceGnome]

women*

[HawkPerception]

Most guys want to be with a girl that doesn't just like them for their own qualities. If it's just the money the girl is after, then she can go elsewhere. There's tons of shallow rich guys that would be happy for a sugar daddy relationship. But as soon as the money's gone, so is the girl. It's a pathetic standard.

Men like attractive women, but we're also attracted to their personality. For any men with standards, personality is the main factor. If you're attractive and don't have a decent personality, then we're not interested. Physical attraction is normal. Emotional connection is normal. What's not normal is being attracted to a human made material concept that can be used to get things in life.

And by the way... women are naturally attracted to older men. Just as they're attracted to bigger and stronger men. Just as men are attracted to smaller, weaker and generally younger women. Why? Because we are attracted to opposite traits. It's in our biological disposition. Men have dominant traits and want submissive traits in a girl. Girls are submissive and want dominant traits in a guy.

[nella965]

Women are attracted to men that are a few years older , not 18 years older. Do you think we are looking for frail old clumsy guys with gray hair and wrinkles in his 40s? NO

We are looking for a man who is still young strong and fast, not some old guy out of his prime.

Women still do look for financial stability too when they are looking for a partner. Most of us don’t expect a “wealthy” man but a guy who has a decent job and decent income. Not some broke college grad straight out of college

[HawkPerception]

Speak for yourself. Many girls I know who have said the same thing eventually ended up being okay dating and even being more attracted to 10-20 years older. I've seen it happen many times. At around 20 they start being more okay with dating much older for whatever reason. Below that they tend to say "eww creepy".

[nella965]

Most common age differences are actually 0-5 years apart.

en.m.wikipedia.org/.../Age_disparity_in_sexual_relationships

[nella965]

Empirical evidence has also accumulated in support of women's preferences for older men, and as you might expect, the data often overlap with those data supporting men's preferences. As this sample of Conway-Beam and Buss's (2019) review suggests:

Cross-culturally, women report wanting partners who are (on average) 3.5 years older than them.
In online dating, women make the first contact with older men at a greater than rate they do younger men.
Marriage records show that women are marrying men who are older than they are by about 3 years.

www.google.com/.../what-we-know-about-age-gaps-in-dating-love-and-marriage%3famp

[HawkPerception]

Key word... "Common". And I'm not saying that isn't the best age difference. Also, where in my my initial comment did I ever state that women prefer a huge difference in age? I said older. Not a 20 year difference.

[nella965]

Couples with a zero to three-year age difference showed greater satisfaction than those with a four- to six-year gap. Likewise, couples with a four- to six-year gap showed greater satisfaction than those with a seven-plus year gap.

www.brides.com/the-best-age-difference-in-relationships-for-success-5105372

[HawkPerception]

Are you even reading what I'm saying? Lol. I never said women prefer MUCH OLDER. I said older. Not many women like the idea of dating younger. What are you spamming articles?

[nella965]

I’m just telling you that women are not interested in men 10-20 years older generally speaking. That is just what you wrote

[HawkPerception]

Also why are you so focused on that point alone? That was one point in the many that I made. Lol. I mentioned women liking dominant traits like being older, stronger, taller, etc. And then you somehow zone in on "older" and make it seem like I'm saying girls prefer old men lmao

[HawkPerception]

As I said, my initial comment said nothing about a huge difference in age. My response to your nonsense is my own experience with friends, acquaintances and cousins that have eventually dated much older. There are very few cases of women dating much younger.

[nella965]

Well it’s been my experience with my friends and social circle where all the young females in their 20s usually date 0-5 years older. Statistics and research agrees with me too

[HawkPerception]

Wtf are you going on about statistics for? I never said MOST women like MUCH older men. I literally stated OLDER. And I also said that I have heard many cases of women who say they would not date much older eventually do it. Not that most girls do it. Learn to read and stop spouting nonsense as if you actually have a point.

[nella965]

well nobody cares about how girls eventually date way older men if statistics and my own life experience shows that overwhelming majority of them don’t end up being in relationships with much older men

The point of this discussion is “what are women’s age preferences, generally speaking?” And on average it ranges from 0-6 years older. So quit talking about how every girl in your social circle are dating men 15 years

[HawkPerception]

The question is "Why are gold diggers so looked down upon?" What are you smoking?

[Anonymous]

I can see your point, but it's how you view it. Financial is a bit different (in my opinion and for most guys probably). I love how some people say "it's only money", yeah, money you NEED to survive and live. I'm not trying to lessen the impact of sex for women, but it's not the same to me. At least she probably enjoyed it, lol. Plus these days, women are more than capable of making their own money, it's not 1920 anymore. And it's often deliberate when a woman uses a guy as well (premeditated), where the other isn't always the case (often if they talked about expectations before having sex, it would probably be cleared up, but they don't).

[nella965]

A 48 yr old man would have absolutely nothing in common with an 18 yr old girl. Neither would he be able to relate to her in any way shape or form. The only reason why he would be with her is SEX.

So yes, men can definitely "date" women just for the sex.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh... you're focused on the age. Ok. I was just talking in general. And you don't think it's possible they can relate or have anything in common? I'm not saying they should have a relationship, I'm just saying that possibility is most certainly there. Age doesn't change that you're both still human beings.

[nella965]

usually a 48 yr old man would have nothing in common with someone under the age of 35. Vast differences in maturity, knowledge affects the way that two people can understand, communicate or relate to each other. Differences in maturity can also lead to differences in sense of humor and perspective on life.

And usually we are looking more than someone to joke around with , for a relationship. We want someone we can understand, emotionally connect on a deeper level, have discussions with, thought provoking conversations.

[Ripper_E]

False equivalent. Being attracted to young women or genuinely loving an 18 year old, which is possible, as opposed to using someone for their assets. Not the same thing.
I'm attracted to older women far more than younger women, so you're full of shit.

[nella965]

you can use an 18 yr old for her hot body and looks? what makes you think that you can use someone for money, but not use someone for their body?

[Ripper_E]

That sounds more like a sugar daddy than someone wanting to be with another person they are attracted to, which is generally what happens in any relationship. Gold diggers tend to be manipulative in making the men believe they love them, but they don't. it's just their money.

[nella965]

what makes you think an old pervert can't trick a hot young bimbo that he is in love with her, when he's really with her for the sex?

A gold digger dumps her husband , once he loses his $$.
A sex digger dumps his wife, once she hits 30.

[Ripper_E]

I'm sorry. I missed the sex digger part. My apologies. They are the same thing if they are both using each other.

[FilmGuy93]

I get where you're going with this, but money and beauty aren't really synonymous in the way you're thinking. A man's money isn't unique to that man. A woman's beauty is unique to her. Every beautiful woman is beautiful in her own particular way, so when the man GENERALLY falls for a woman, he's falling for her specific charms. When a woman falls for a man, his money isn't something that another man couldn't have just as easily.

[nella965]

Its the same thing. I don't konw why you're trying to say its different.

Sex diggers will leave his wife , once her looks fade.
Gold diggers will leave their husbands , once his wealth disappears.

do you really think its THAT different? NO

[FilmGuy93]

Okay but general scumminess aside, can you at least acknowledge that the younger woman's beauty, youth, vitality, etc.. is unique to her? Even if the old guy is lecherous and awful, can you at least admit that he's being attracted to something about that particular woman?

[nella965]

so how is that different from a woman just marrying a man , so that she doesn't have to work a job for the rest of her life?

[nella965]

what is the point of a man being attracted to a woman, if he doesn't love her or value her as a person?

[FilmGuy93]

That's the point I'm making; the guy does value her, it's just that he values her because of her physical beauty. The woman, on the other hand, is not marrying one particular man, that's just not where she's putting her emphasis. She's marrying a lifestyle. She's putting her emphasis on something that has nothing to do with the person she's marrying; she's doing it because of the life she wants him to give her, not because she wants to live her life with him. That guy is at least attracted to something that's unique to her.

[nella965]

he just values her face, he does not value her as a person. Beauty is not unique. Once your wife gets old, you can just switch her for some other pretty lady.

Wealth may be unique too. How many rich guys do you see walking around the streets on a daily basis? Almost never! If you see a rich man, you better snatch him up quick because you do not know when you will meet another millionaire.

[nella965]

A man can just marry a woman for her beauty , because he just wants the best sex ever. He wants entertainment for his eyes. It really does not mean he loves her in any way shape or form.

Do you really think that men have absolutely nothing to gain from marrying a beauty? haha are you that dumb?

[nella965]

Valuing someone's face, is different from valuing them as a person.

Just because I lust after you, it doesn't mean that I love you or will want to die for you.

I just like your looks, not you. Once your looks are gone, I will also be gone.

Same thing as money.

I just like your money, not you. Once your money is gone, i will also be gone

[FilmGuy93]

I didn’t say any of that, don’t put words in my mouth.

[The_Maphio]

Nobody has particular fondness for parasites, now do they?

Naturally, the same is applied to fuckboys getting pampered by cougars.

And to get some makeshift "love" out of gifts and free rein over a gold credit card is... disgusting.
Basically private prostitution that is not considered illegal.

[Kaneki05]

Just people have odd Conservative ideas or jealous they cannot make money the same way. I don't see nothing wrong with a women getting money by providing a service.

[Anonymous]

"there is nothing wrong with a woman being attracted to men for money."
Why not? Because you say so? It's for each guy to decide how he feels about it. And if you look to polling to try to find the trend, we see that guys aren't into it. It doesn't matter what excuse is made or any nonsense about "natural" or whatever, you can't magically force guys to stop being bothered by it.

[nella965]

there's nothing wrong with gold diggers because sex diggers are just the same way but sex diggers are just accepted by society. so why not accept gold diggers?

[Opinion Owner]

Gold diggers take advantage of men's desires to enrich themselves. It's about luxury.
The men they target seek what everyone wants, a happy sexual relationship with someone they're attracted to. It's closer to necessity for men. That's why these sides are not equivalent, the women are the ones taking advantage. The men are not.

[nella965]

Sex diggers are just marrying a beauty to enrich their sexual lives.
Gold diggers are just marrying rich guys to enrich their own lives as well.

so whats wrong about this? both lives are being happily enriched.

[nella965]

Marrying a financially stable man is NECESSITY for women.

Biologically women are designed to look for a man who can provide for her and her offspring. While men are looking for the most fertile , healthiest woman to have offspring with.

[Opinion Owner]

Latching on to a rich guy for his money is not a necessity. It is a luxury.
Women marry financially stable men all the time while being sincerely interested in the guy and don't leech off him. A gold digger doesn't do that. The gold digger is there to exploit the desires, knowingly or not, beyond the bounds of normal relationships. If the guy doesn't know then he's being preyed upon. If he does know, well it's not illegal or anything, but it's still tragic.

[nella965]

Well latching onto a woman, who you are not in love with, but just using for sex. Is also not a necessity either. You can have sex with an average looking woman. She doesn't need to be a supermodel.

There is a difference in financially stable men and rich men. Financially stable men are just stable, they are not rich. Biologically women are designed to prefer rich men who can provide the best for her and her offspring.

Lets be honest, what kinda woman would want to work daily for the rest of her life? A rich man can provide better for her than just a "financially stable" man

[Opinion Owner]

Having a real relationship can occur with attractive women. As it can with wealthy men. But instead of pursuing that normal healthy relationship route, the women are taking advantage of men's desire for companionship.

Whether it's "rich" or "financially stable" it doesn't matter, it's the same shit. It's "let me prey on his biology for resources". There's nothing predatory about just trying to find a partner he's attracted to. Women's side is predatory, men's side it's tragic. It's not equivalent.

[nella965]

so you think its not possible for a man to use a woman for her hot body?

[nella965]

just because a man is with a beauty, it doesn't mean he loves her. Soon as her beauty is gone, he will always be gone. He is just using her for hot sex, or entertainment for the eyes. It really doesn't mean he values her. I dont see the difference.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, but not simultaneous to a gold digger occurring.
You’re talking about players. If a player and a gold digger are getting together then that’s just prostitution. And that’s just gross.

[nella965]

my point is, there is no love in any of these relationships. Just like gold digger can use a husband for money. A sex digger can just use his wife for sex. Until the money / beauty is gone, they will move on to better prospects.

[Opinion Owner]

In those specific circumstances where two people don't really have a real relationship, yeah. But we all knew that already. It's just prostitution.

[nella965]

There are a lot of 40 yr old guys on here who only date 18 yr old girls, who they have absolutely nothing in common with. I find them to the same as young women who only date rich guys.

I just don't know why its more acceptable for 40 yr old men to date 18 yr old girls but its so terrible for a woman to only want to date rich guys.

[Opinion Owner]

Because when you want the 18yo, you want the person.

When it’s just about money, then that seems sociopathic.

One is inside the bounds of conventional courtship, the other is “I want your money”.

[nella965]

because you want the 18 yr old, it means you want their body. It doesn't mean you love them.

A woman can use a man for money but a man can't use a woman for her hot body?

[Metí_La_Pata]

It is widely known that gold diggers date only for money. However, the older men date younger women because they truly love them while on the other hand, the gold digger doesn’t really love the guy but just his money.

[nella965]

you think that men can't just date or marry someone just for their bodies? firstly, what does a 48 yr old have in common with an 18 yr old. Lets be frankly honest right here

[Metí_La_Pata]

You can’t just say that without context. What if they truly love each other?

[nella965]

they can truly love each other but it still doesn't mean that they weren't attracted to each other's money or looks. But you would have to understand that usually a 48 yr old man would have nothing in common with an 18 yr old.

[Metí_La_Pata]

Often more times than not, two people could be entirely different and unrelated to each other but will share one important thing in common which is that they both love each other. The love can make up for any differences whether big or small. I know this from experience.

[nella965]

you can't form a romantic relationship with someone that you can't relate to in any way shape or form. And when these relationships do form, they usually do not last. Just the reality of things. People tend to get along and relate best with those who are around their age.

[Metí_La_Pata]

Excuse me but have you ever seen the notebook? That’s what the movie is about.

[nella965]

emotional connection is the foundation of a relationship. If your emotional foundation is lacking because you're dating a kid, its only a matter of time before the relationship falls apart. It takes more than simply enjoying each other's company for a relationship to last, you both need to be able to emotionally connect / marry someone who you can actually have a conversation / discuss things with , not just to joke around.

And one thing that people do not understand is that, 18 yr old kid's personality will undergo a lot of change throughout their 20s. So you might find the 18 yr old to be very different by the time they hit 27.

[nella965]

I'm not saying its impossible for a 48 yr old to fall in love with a 25 yr old. But such occurrences are usually very rare. Over 90% of the time when a man dates someone who is much much younger, its usually because of sex. Typically its very difficult for a man that age to relate to someone so much younger.

[Metí_La_Pata]

“Over 90% of the time...” where is your source?

[nella965]

do you really think 90% of the time a 48 yr old man would have a lot in common with an 18 yr old girl? Basic life experience can tell you the answer.

by the way, if you're a sex digger, you can just admit you're a sex digger. No point in claiming that 48 yr olds can "relate" to 18 yr old kids very well. Nobody would believe that.

[Metí_La_Pata]

Who hurt you? Why are you so angry about people loving who they love?

[nella965]

because people know its not love, hun.

[Metí_La_Pata]

There is no way to know that. The reason why I’m defending this stance is because when I was 17, I dated an older lady going through a divorce who was 43 and she did kinda use me for sex a lot but I truly felt appreciated and cared for. You just never know the situation.

[nella965]

she used you for sex because she has nothing in common with you. she can't relate or emotionally connect with you in any way shape or form.

Plus, you feeling cared for is not a solid basis of any long term romantic relationship. It sounds more like nobody gave you any attention at that age so sex made you feel less unlovable. It doesn't mean that you "liked" her. It meant you just enjoyed the feeling of being "cared " for

[Metí_La_Pata]

It was just a messed up situation. Had parent issues and ran away from home. She was there for me and you are making it seem like she used me only for sex or something and it makes me feel uncomfortable for it to be put that way because it isn’t true. She was there for me during a time when nobody else was.

[nella965]

you didn't like her. you just liked the feeling of being cared for.

[Anonymous]

Forty-eight year old men who date 18 year old girls ARE looked down upon every bit as much as gold diggers are. How about a little honesty here? lol

.

[nella965]

They are not looked down upon in this website. If a 48 yr old man dated a woman 20 years younger, nobody would look down on him

[Opinion Owner]

I was talking about real life. Why would you care about anything else?

[nella965]

On this website , you will find that it’s totally acceptable for 48 yr old men to chase girls that are too young for them. YET, it’s terrible for a woman to chase a man because he is wealthy.

Explain this to me

[Opinion Owner]

I have seen just the opposite. Please post examples. I'll wait...

[nella965]

I don’t have access to posts that were up 6 months ago. It would be almost impossible for me to find them again

[Opinion Owner]

So, according to you, "on this website, you will find that it’s totally acceptable for 48 yr old men to chase girls that are too young for them. YET, it’s terrible for a woman to chase a man because he is wealthy"

And yet... you can't find a single post supporting that claims that is more recent than 6 months ago?

What this tells all of us is that you've cherry picked a post or two in your mind that represents your "reality" but isn't really the reality for the rest of us.

[nella965]

If you have been on here long enough you will find a culture of hating / disrespecting older women. And old men worshipping 18 yr old girls. And oh no, there is no cherry picking at all. I will show you just a few recent examples in a few hours. Most posts were posted a loong time ago and it would be impossible for me to retrieve them now. But I still have a few recent ones

[Opinion Owner]

Firstly, I have been a regular here at GAG for 8 years, so I know what's "normal" here.

And secondly, a few examples does not make a "culture of guys hating older women". For any example you give I can provide at least as many examples of women hating older men, but that does not make it a culture.

You are being overly sensitive and yes, cherry picking.

[nella965]

If you have been on here 8 years and you are not aware of the misogynistic “culture” then I think you are the one who is cherry picking.

[Opinion Owner]

There are misogynists here and there are misandrists here. There is no culture of either.

[zagor]

When a woman spends a man's money, he has less money. When a man has sex with a woman, she doesn't have less vagina.

[nella965]

she will end up feeling worthless as a person, but feel more like a sex toy

[zagor]

Sounds like you're projecting your own experiences onto others. Maybe she will feel fulfilled and loved.

[nella965]

how do you feel loved, if she knows that he will leave her once her looks are gone? does that sound like true love to you?

[zagor]

Why would he leave her after her looks are gone? In your example, when she's 40 he'll be 70, and unlikely to have a lot of better options.

[nella965]

well if you're a millionaire 70 yr old man, you don't think you can get a 21 yr old gold digger easily? Gold diggers would date absolutely anyone who has a lot of money. Its even better because she can wait until he dies so that she can inherit his money.

[genericname85]

because they typically do nothing to get money, while everyone else gotta work for that.

[nella965]

they trade their hot bodies for money. Have you ever seen creepy old ugly 58 yr old men dating 18-25 yr old girls?

[genericname85]

Yeah exactly. They that's the thing they are looked down upon men don't have that kind of inherent value they can monetize. All they can monetize is their hard work.

[nella965]

both parties have something they can monetize

[genericname85]

What do men have that they can monetize by nature without doing anything?

[nella965]

But what else do men like other than hot ladies? Men aren't attracted to rich women who have worked hard for their wealth

[genericname85]

well that didn't answer my question. there's not really a good comparison, cause men litterally can not make money in that way.

[nella965]

well its not anyone elses fault if you aren't attracted to women who work hard for their money. Men tend to like hot women

[nella965]

but hey, if hot women is what you want, then go after it.

If we have something that each other wants, we should just go after it.

[genericname85]

i wasn't blaming anyone for anything. just answering your question xD

[nella965]

i don't understand what we are arguing about anyways. Gold diggers / sex diggers are just the same. There is no love in relationships

[genericname85]

we're not arguing. you asked why gold diggers are looked down upon and i explained why xD there's no point in arguing, cause that doesn't change the reasons why gold diggers are looked down upon in society.

[nella965]

sex diggers are not looked down upon. so why are gold diggers looked down upon?

Who gets judged more harshly in society. Men who date much younger women OR women who date much younger men? ↗

[nella965]

if its ok for a 40 yr old man to date 18 yr old girls, then why isn't it ok for a 18 yr old girl to marry for money?

[genericname85]

what is even sex diggers? ever heard of the word "slut"? of course there's stigma to that.

marrying someone that's young is also frowned upon. do you live in a shed somewhere in the backwoods far from society or something? XD

[nella965]

The problem is, gold diggers are shamed upon WAYYYY MORE than sex diggers.

[genericname85]

that's not my experience. that's opinion, so no point in arguing about that.

[genericname85]

i mean how is it "sex digging", if you marry someone that's younger than you? it's not like you'll want less sex from someone your age if you decide to marrying them.

[nella965]

because its unlikely someone much much older would have absolutely anything in common with someone much much much younger. Vast differences in maturity, life experience, perspective on life would impede with their ability to relate to each other.

Frequently , relationships between a much much older man and much much younger women are usually mainly based on SEX.

[genericname85]

well that is the explanation for why "it is not good" and i agree with that. i still don't get why it's "sex digging". the desire to have sex is in everyone. anyway you know it's mutual right? just like gold digging is mutual. it is problematic. and that's likely why it's frowned upon. so why does it matter which one happens more often.

[nella965]

Everyone wants a rich man, but is that the most important thing that you look for when you date?
Everyone wants a hot supermodel wife, but should that be the most important thing you are looking for when you date?

[genericname85]

how does what i decide when i date have to do with any of that? i think having a normative discussion is utterly pointless here. if we want to understand why people do certain things and understanding why certain things are frowned upon, then how does looking at "how we think things should be" help?

[nella965]

because there are wayy more important things such as emotional connection, spark, chemistry, laughter, having fun. Sex is not everything. Money is not everything. However if you are the type of person who thinks sex and money is more important than romance / having fun, then you are not a decent person

Once you lose your beauty, your husband will just dump you for another hot lady.

[genericname85]

i really don't understand what our conversation is about right now. i mean i pretty much share your opinion that you just stated. but your opinion of what a decent person is does not matter to the question "why are gold diggers so looked down upon".

[nella965]

i think you completely understand my point and what I am talking about

[genericname85]

no i don't. i'm trying to show why people frown upon gold diggers and you're trying to explain to me what should be important in a relationship in your opinion. what does that matter? even if i share that opinion.

[nella965]

why should gold diggers be frowned upon, if sex diggers are not frowned upon?

[nella965]

you can't be unfair and unequal that way

[genericname85]

i didn't say gold diggers "should" be frowned upon. i still don't understand what a "sex digger" is supposed to be but i made no normative statements regarding that either. so i'm not unfair. if i explain to you for example why rapists rape women, does that mean i think women should be raped? no. do you see now why i'm struggeling to understand what our conversation is about?

[genericname85]

if in society one thing is froned upon more than the other, then you can see that as unfair. what does that have to do with me?

[nella965]

A sex digger is a 40 yr old man dating a 18 yr old girl. He does not love her at all. He is just dating her for her beauty and hot sex. Once she hits 30, he dumps her for another hot girl.

[genericname85]

so a fuckboy. yeah. that is massively frowned upon. it is your ignorant generalizing assessment that there can't be any love in relationships with that sort of age difference and it is your conclusion that this only happens for sex and none of the other reasons that people spend time with each other. i do not agree with that assessment but either way: that indeed is frowned upon, even more so than just "fuckboys". so the implied statement in the second part of your question is untrue.

[genericname85]

are those types of age difference relationships you described long term viable? most likely no. that doesn't mean that they don't feel infatuation or love towards each other, respecting each other and valuing each others company outside sex.

[nella965]

the honest realty is that , someone much much much older would have nothing in common with someone 20 years younger. The typical average 40 yr old man would have little to nothing in common with anyone under 30. Believe it or not, vast differences in maturity, life experience, perspective on life , impedes their ability to relate to each other.

I'm not saying its 100% impossible for a 40 yr old man to fall in love with a 20 yr old girl. Just that something like this happening tends to be very RARE.

[genericname85]

it's not that rare. those things you describe are very exaggerated. though they tend to manifest as big issues in long term relationships. that doesn't invalidate the feelings 2 people might have for each other in the moment. it is 100% possible to relate to someone 20 years younger or older than you, even if life goals and experience vastly differs. you can surely enjoy spending time with each other, be it sexual or not. sure a long term stable partnership will not likely be possible, as individual goals are typically vastly different being that both are at different points in their personal/career development and planning of their future.

either way, that entire topic is a bit disconnected from the claim that it is lessfrowned upon than gold diggers. i don't think that is true.

[nella965]

I think you are missing the point that there are tons of creepy perverted old men who are always on the hunt to have sex with girls as young as possible. From my experience, over 90% of relationships where the man is 40 and the woman is 20, it is almost always a mainly sexual relationship.

The bigger the age difference, the less both parties would be able to relate to each other. This is why you find that most young people tend to date other young people. Older people tend to date older people. 20 -30 yr olds tend to date each other. While 40 and 50 yr olds tend to date each other.

[nella965]

Part of their research included a very practical observation about cultural differences regarding perceived appropriate age gaps between partners. They noted that according to a United Nations study (2000), North American couples tend to have a small age gap within marriage: on average, 2.3 years

Within the United States, they cited the United States Census Bureau (1999) finding that 60 percent of married couples have age gaps of less than 3 years; 92 percent have age gaps of less than 10 years.

www.psychologytoday.com/.../age-gap-romance-recipe-stigma-or-success

[genericname85]

All that those statistics show is that relationships with a huge age gap do not last long, which is exactly what we already agreed on. Further you basically showed that it is massively frowned upon by most while you continue to claim that it isn't froened upon, which i don't understand considering that you are delivering the proof for the opposite. That it's exclusively sexual relationship is your claim. Those sources don't deliver evidence for that.

[nella965]

I can tell you that the overwhelming majority of young women are not attracted to old men. This is why most couples tend to be 0-8 years apart. Couples with over 10 yr age difference tend to be very uncommon

[nella965]

en.wikipedia.org/.../Age_disparity_in_sexual_relationships

[nella965]

Empirical evidence adds to the general argument that men favor younger women. Below is a sample of the supporting data described by Conway-Beam and Buss (2019):

Cross-culturally men report wanting partners who are about 3 years their junior; averages range from about 2-4 years.
Personal ads also show that while young men appear to desire slightly older women, as men age, they typically seek partners who are increasingly younger than themselves (i. e., targeting peak fertility).
Marriage records from multiple countries, including the U. S., show a clear trend in which husbands are typically older than their wives, with the age gap increasing for older men.
Men spend more money on engagement rings for younger women, pay more for younger prostitutes, and in bride-price cultures (e. g., Kenya), men must spend more money in order to marry a younger bride.

www.psychologytoday.com/.../what-we-know-about-age-gaps-in-dating-love-and-marriage

[nella965]

Many men think that women are attracted to men that are significantly older than them. The truth is NO. Overwhelming majority of women prefer men that are around their age.

[nella965]

Empirical evidence has also accumulated in support of women's preferences for older men, and as you might expect, the data often overlap with those data supporting men's preferences. As this sample of Conway-Beam and Buss's (2019) review suggests:

Cross-culturally, women report wanting partners who are (on average) 3.5 years older than them.
In online dating, women make the first contact with older men at a greater than rate they do younger men.

*** Marriage records show that women are marrying men who are older than they are by about 3 years.***

www.psychologytoday.com/.../what-we-know-about-age-gaps-in-dating-love-and-marriage

[genericname85]

I don't know why you keep running down those statistics. What does that have to do with anything we're speaking about? You keep mixing normative judgements with factual stats in a way that doesn't make sense to me.

[genericname85]

The core question you're asking is "why is gold digging less frowned upon than relationships with big age difference" right? How do the stats you're posting help in determining that?

[genericname85]

Obviously we're not speaking about the average in either case. We're speaking about exceptional cases. Young people look better than old people generally. That's why old men like young looking girls. Girls are way more likely to be attracted to a considerably older partner thatn men. So again: how does any of that help in answering the question?

[genericname85]

Statistically significant facts do not substantiate native value judgements.

[nella965]

evidence shows that women are not attracted to significantly older men. Most age differences are 0-8 years apart. Sorry to burst your bubble

[genericname85]

What bubble are you freaking speaking off dude? Evidence show that the majority of women isn't attracted to considerably older men. I was never claiming otherwise. In both gold digger and large age gap dating we're speaking about outliers. Not the norm I never claimed otherwise.

[nella965]

ok i think our misunderstanding stems from your terrible writing ability. is English not your first language?

[genericname85]

No it's not my first language. And no i don't think that this is the origin of a misunderstanding at all. We can't continue mixing empirical statistics and normative judgements. That's the issue.

[nella965]

Empirical statistics are everything.

[genericname85]

Let me give you a prominent example: empirical Statistik says women earn less than men on average. People say it's unfair. the assertion that it's unfair is a false normative statement that can NOT be justified by that empirical Statistik. same with your normative statements about the statistics you're quoting the empirical Statistik does not justify your normative statement.

[genericname85]

There's a non sequitur relationship between a descriptive interpretation of the empirical sauce and the normative value statement you're making.

[nella965]

Regardless if it is unfair or fair, it is still a fact. Facts are Facts. Just because its unfair, it doesn't mean its not true. I don't know why fairness matters.

[genericname85]

Ugh you didn't get it. I'm saying there's no connection between the empirical evidence and the normative assessment made use that evidence the Statistiks you quoted have no connection towards the partnership values you promoted. Those things are completely separated. You make yourself feel like what you say is an objective fact this whivh is a problem, cause you added meaning to it yourself that the empirical data does not provide, making it your opinion, not a fact as you make yourself self to believe.

[genericname85]

I don't know what the problem is. Maybe you don't understand the word normative. I'll explain to you what it means: from empirical evidence, you can never legitimate statements that involves the word "should". So if you say "a relationship should this and that' that is a normative statement. That's not what empirical evidence can be used for.

[genericname85]

It's opinion, not fact. You deliver facts but what you drive from those facts is your opinion and does not matter in this case we're discussing.

[genericname85]

Empirical facts are descriptive not normative. They say how things are, not how things should be. Does that make sense to you?

[nella965]

I think that facts mean everything. The fact that most women are marrying men around their age , shows that men highly prefer and get along best with men around their age

Of course there are many perverted creepy old 50 yr olds who want to date 18 yr old girls. But statistics does not show 18 yr old girls hungry to date much older men

[genericname85]

thanks for giving me that exmple. i will show you the difference between fact and your normative statement here,

"The fact that most women are marrying men around their age (here you cite a correct fact), shows that men highly prefer and get along best with men around their age (here you claim a different thing that your given fact does not substentiate. this is your opinion, not a fact).

see what i mean?

[genericname85]

and even if that opinion you added, is right, the next thing you do is create the normative statement "men should not get with women much younger", which is even further from the fact you stated. facts are never normative.

[genericname85]

also making factual statements about "most people" does not invalidate things that are true for few people.

[nella965]

Hun most men DO prefer dating women around their age. Older men tend to date older women. Younger men tend to date younger women

It’s only that this website attracts creepy perverts with no morals or values. Generally 50 yr old men have no interest in 25 yr old women.

[nella965]

but usually it’s the older men who want much younger women. It’s just that younger women do not prefer much older men which is why statistics show that women are dating men around the same age

[nella965]

Empirical evidence has also accumulated in support of women's preferences for older men, and as you might expect, the data often overlap with those data supporting men's preferences. As this sample of Conway-Beam and Buss's (2019) review suggests:

Cross-culturally, women report wanting partners who are (on average) 3.5 years older than them.
In online dating, women make the first contact with older men at a greater than rate they do younger men.
Marriage records show that women are marrying men who are older than they are by about 3 years.

www.google.com/.../what-we-know-about-age-gaps-in-dating-love-and-marriage%3famp

[StunningANDbrave]

Because they are low value women that add nothing of substance to a man's life.

[nella965]

of course she adds substance, if she didn't. then why would anyone marry her?

[StunningANDbrave]

Getting married in itself is stupid.

[meltz]

Both are looked down upon. Date near your age because of love.

[Imcmullan]

Love that- sex diggers! 🤣🤣😍

[anylolone]

Players aren't looked down upon?