This is very embarrassing to ask this here. Why am I only attracted to white girls and find girls of my own race to be ugly?

I hate to admit this. I’m ashamed of it. I am a Black Lives Matter activist but something hit me hard asf. How does it make sense for me to say BLM but then want a white girl? Compared to the white guy who says “white power” but gets a white girlfriend. yea he racist but he don’t have issue with himself. It don’t sound ironic or contradicting on his part
I just can’t get into girls of my own race. What’s wrong with me? Is this internalized racism? I have to get into details. I just don’t find dark skin attractive or feminine:/ I hate to say this but I’m glad I could ask this and you not know me tho
This is very embarrassing to ask this here. Why am I only attracted to white girls and find girls of my own race to be ugly?
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