Guy gave me a card, I tried to act smart?

[Anonymous]

I work as a cashier and smoothie or tea maker in Costa Coffee. I fancied this customer who was one of our regulars, coming in often as twice or even thrice daily.
I was so into him that I would give him stuff for free, bring him his drink personally, keep his drink with me so that he wouldn't have to run around etc. I also used to stare a lot at him.
My hours were drastically reduced as compared to last month so I saw him only 1 or 2 days compared to 4 days I a week.
He gave me a really nice card writing thank you and how sweet and kind I am. He also wrote his name and if I ever feel like hanging out with him after work, I can let him know. He didn't write his number so the next day when I saw him, I asked him that when he comes in next time, he should write and give me his number.

He laughed and said sure.
I didn't have any shifts after that so didn't see him and yesterday night, I was laid off unexpectedly. They didn't fire me but said they will decide when to give me shifts. Until then, I need to wait.

Now I feel terrible. I wish he gave me his number but now I feel I should have given him mine too considering he gave me the card and the invite. Or asked him to meet up with me then we could have exchanged numbers.

What do I do? Is this a missed opportunity and did I outsmart myself?

[OlderAndWiser]

This is a great illustration of the consequences of playing that game of holding back and trying to make your interest not too obvious. If you had just told him that you were interested, you probably would have already met up and had a date.

Do you have a friend who still works there who could pass a note to him for you?

[Asker]

But I told him to give me his number he said sure but we didn't meet as I didn't have the shift. He could have written his number tho right?

[OlderAndWiser]

Yes.

[Asker]

Yes so is it his fault or should I have given him a note writing my number or to meet up?

[OlderAndWiser]

Why are you concerned about "fault?" Your only concern should be finding a remedy for your situation.

[Asker]

I want to know if i made a mistake by not letting him know?

[OlderAndWiser]

In my opinion, when you hide your feelings and don't act on them. . . it is usually a mistake.

[scuff1986]

If you have a name and can locate him, send him a friend request, or a message saying who you are. If he likes you he'll be happy to see a message or friends request from you

[Asker]

But won't it feel stalkers?

[scuff1986]

No, if he's given you his card he's expecting you to seek him out

[Asker]

But I ended up asking him to write his number and give to me? Was this a mistake?

[scuff1986]

Not at all, don't over think it

[Asker]

But if I had we would have been on a date already?

[scuff1986]

Who knows maybe he wanted to see if you would seek him out? Don't over think or over complicate it

[Smegskull]

Just ask o colleague to text you if he turns up and conveniently turn up as a customer while he's also there.

[Asker]

is it his fault or should I have given him a note writing my number or to meet up?

[Smegskull]

Is who's fault it is really important right now?

[Asker]

Yes pls tell

[Gwenhwyfar]

You have his name. Can you find him on fb or ig?

[Asker]

I have and I searched his profile as I also know which uni he studies as I saw his student ID. I found his ID but I'm scared to send him a friend request. I feel he will think I'm a stalker?

[Gwenhwyfar]

No!!! He likes you. Send him a friend request.

[AlexanderAnttila]

If I could just make an inference here; I'd recommend talking to him IRL first before a friend request. It could come off as out of the blue to want to add him on FB if you haven't had a proper conversation first.

[Asker]

But if he liked me then why not give his number?

[Asker]

@AlexanderAnttila I ve had a proper convo as i asked him to give me his number the next time he comes in

[AlexanderAnttila]

Good, if he didn't recoil at that then you have but to wait.

[Asker]

@AlexanderAnttila recoil?

[Asker]

@AlexanderAnttila But I told him to give me his number he said sure but we didn't meet as I didn't have the shift. He could have written his number tho right?

[Gwenhwyfar]

He defo likes you. He said he’d give you his number the next time he came in and he wants to hang out. Not your fault (or his) you got laid off.