Why are guys in their 20s so picky?

[aliali8]

I am in my mid 20s and the guys my age are the most difficult to date. When I show interest to them, they either reject me or show very little effort (if they are a little bit interested). A lot of them seem flighty and most just show little to no desire to get to know me. These guys tend to be early to mid 20s. Sometimes even late 20s. But usually 30 yr old guys are not like this.

Guys in their 30s tend to reciprocate interest to me and even chase me. They tend to be more willing to talk to me and more romantic, better at chasing women. Older guys tend to jump at the idea of me being interested in them.

Its kinda like the idea of "romance" seems unimportant to guys in their 20s. They either just don't really care if a girl is interested in them or they have high standards and absolutely won't date a girl unless she fits into his ideal criteria.

[Jamie05rhs]

I'm sorry. That's how I was, too, at that age. I think it's just that our tastes are still pretty narrow when we are young. They broaden with age.

[Jamie05rhs]

Thanks for the MHO.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Nah they are just running behind older women 25 plus lol 😂🏃‍♀️🏃‍♂️.

Most are into video games or behind money

[loveslongnails]

Allow me, if you will, to sat two things:
1) Men in their early 20's are NOT picky, though it may appear so if they don't pick YOU.
2) "romance" is not really the word you're looking for.

About #1. Men in their early 20's think that all women want them, so they can have the choice of anyone out there. The mindset is "so what if she's hot for me - I'm not hot for her and I can get who I want." That's not being picky, that's just ego. There's no quality evaluation on a personal level going on here, it's simply "do I want to fuck her, or not". If the answer is "no", don't mistake it for anything but ego.

About #2) "Romance" ------ This is always a big disconnect between men and women, of any age, not just young men. I understand what YOU mean by "romance", and men are not interested in too much of that "in general". But when a man IS interested in a 'relationship', he'll do things that HE thinks are demonstrative of that interest, which often doesn't measure up to the woman's idea of "romance" even then. You see the problem?

So basically, to a young or mid-twenties guy, you're just another girl on the sex carousel because they have zero interest in having a girlfriend. But to an early 30's guy, you're a beautiful young thing, 6 years or so younger, showing interest in him !! Even if he isn't interested in settling down yet, he appreciates your interest in him and will act in a way to keep it, and get more.

[aliali8]

Do you realize that 20s is prime for dating? I have many met many guys in their 30s who don’t have the same action as they once did when they were in their 20s. They reminisce about all the gfs they had back then. The dating pool shrinks as people hit their 30s

[loveslongnails]

Yes, I recognize that, which is why 30 something guys ARE so appreciative, and 20 something guys just take it for granted. Also based on what you said, if a 20 something guy knows that it's the prime dating time of his life, he's going to date as much as he can just BECAUSE he can, not because he's picky.

[aliali8]

I have a lot of women around my age who date guys in their 20s. I just don’t know why I can’t ever get a 20 something yr old guys attention. I might be able to get a late 20s guy but it doesn’t happen too often

[Anonymous]

You are possibly unattractive. Guys in their 20s are generally more desired by women than those in their 30s so they have a bigger pool to choose from (and like any other rational person, they'd choose the best available). Men in their 30s don't have the same variety of choice and are missing the days when they were younger and more desirable so when you give them the opportunity, they take it more often.

Another thing is that romance is ridiculous to many and many men play that game because it helps them get women. If women are in abundance, why would romance be needed? For males in their 20s, women are in relative abundance to men in their 30s so 20s men have room to choose.

[aliali8]

On this website, men claim that 30 yr old men have the advantage compared to 20 something yr old men.

[Ironic_Method]

People SHOULD be picky. If you're trying to date and want a serious relationship you want someone that has a good chance of it working.

[aliali8]

it will also keep you single because there is no such thing as the perfect person

[Ironic_Method]

Picky does not mean perfect. I'd rather have fewer high quality relationships than many low quality ones.

[aliali8]

You should have standards but it does not mean you should be picky. Picky is just gonna keep you single. Same thing for high standards.

[Shoichiro]

To have your own standards and adhere to them, you are inherently being "picky".

[aliali8]

@Shoichiro I have standards but I am not picky. There is a difference. Frequently these picky folks end up being single forever. It’s not uncommon

[Shoichiro]

@aliali8 Fair enough, but I would rather be single than be with someone I don't want to be with, which just may be the majority of women. I'm not going to get into a relationship just for the sake of it (and I'm sure many others think the same).

[aliali8]

@Shoichiro I think that you can definitely be happy in a relationship with someone who doesn't match up to your ideal standards, as long as you enjoy spending time with them.

Because the love of your life may come in many different forms. Someone who you feel attraction towards may not have the exact ideal body that you were expecting. They may not be pretty , rich, tall, sexy. But it doesn't mean that you can't be happy with this person. You can very well have the ultimate fun time of your life with her.

[aliali8]

@Shoichiro

People tend to be picky until they hit their 30s and realize they are still single and that the perfect person with the perfect personality, perfect body, perfect face, perfect income, perfect height. simply does not exist.

[Anonymous]

guys in their 20s are sick and tired of the false victimhood mentality of women in their 20s and it’s not worth the effort to try and friggin date them because they’ll end up getting falsely accused of some kind of malicious act over practically everything, and women are overly entitled and have insane expectations which if a male doesn’t check off all boxes constantly and pass endless shit tests... he is no longer a viable male.

[CallmeTheKnight]

It's fine to be picky. You don't want just anyone in your life, let alone kiss and sleep with. I'm pretty sure they're all not running away from you, but maybe the guys you're interested in are just not into you at all.

[Anonymous]

I can't speak for other guys, but I would only start a new relationship with someone 18 or 19 or maaaaaybe 20. Legally closest to girls prime and will stay attractive longer. Women age like milk.

[aliali8]

I am told that I still look 22, I am still in my prime.

[DarcRefractions]

Guys in their 30s want 22-25. the guys in there 20s want the 18-24 age chicks.

[aliali8]

Most girls date guys that are 2-4 years older, on average.

[DarcRefractions]

Same with guys. Leonardo di Caprio only dates woman 18-25. Nobody over I don't think

[aliali8]

well if you're a celebrity, you get tons of women chasing you. You get to pick. The average guy doesn't have masses of women chasing him. All of my 20 something year old female friends are predominantly dating guys in their 20s

[DarcRefractions]

Yes you do you have tinder lol. Easy access to women. You can talk to hundreds of women a day.
Also 20 year old dudes could smash Milfs and 35+ women who just want sex.

[aliali8]

Tinder is only effective for hookups, not dating. Just because you hookup with someone, it doesn't mean you want to date them. I would hookup with a 39 yr old man but he's far too old for me to date.

[DarcRefractions]

Men in their 20s are not trying to fate though Very rare. You wait until your 30s for that. Why would you settle in your prime.

[aliali8]

People date in their 20s. 30s is for marriage. Dating is prime in 20s, where you get lots of options and everyone is single. By the time most guys hit 33, they are usually engaged or married. By mid 30s, most guys have kids already.

I have met lots of 30 something yr old guys on dating apps, who tell me about all the gfs they had in their 20s. Now they no longer have the same dating action as they did before. A lot of them lost their old friends because all of them got engaged / married by the time they hit their early 30s

If you're a guy who thinks that you can start dating by the time you hit 35, think again. 20s is where everyone is single. 30s is when dating slows down

[DarcRefractions]

People are getting divorced before there mid 30s. Or about to start a family you said it your self men your age aren't interested in dating you.
That proves my point.
At best they'll do friends with benefits.

[aliali8]

I find that men in their early to mid 20s do not tend to be interested in me. I find that more men in their late 20s tend to be interested in me. I don't know why they are not interested in me. Because I have plenty of 25 yr old female friends who always have dated guys in their 20s.

Most people are not divorced by 35. Most people are divorced by the time they hit 45. Usually they also end up with kids and most have no interest in remarrying.

For the men who don't think dating is important in 20s, you don't wanna be the only single guy in your social circle by the time you hit 32. By the time you hit your early 30s, you will start losing friends because many of them are starting to get engaged / married. You're not going to have a variety of women to pick from compared to in your 20s due to decreased social lives, smaller number of friends. Many guys in their 30s have almost non existent social lives. And if you're 36 years old, you're its not likely you will get a 26 yr old woman interested in dating you

[DarcRefractions]

I disagree. Men in their 30s are more financially stable. You just said you dated or went on dates with men in their 30s.
I don't think women care about older men. a lot of women are
hypergamous.

[aliali8]

Women like men that are 3.5 years older, on average.

Empirical evidence has also accumulated in support of women's preferences for older men, and as you might expect, the data often overlap with those data supporting men's preferences. As this sample of Conroy-Beam and Buss's (2019) review suggests:

Cross-culturally, women report wanting partners who are (on average) 3.5 years older than them.
In online dating, women make the first contact with older men at a greater than rate they do younger men.
Marriage records show that women are marrying men who are older than they are by about 3 years.

[aliali8]

www.psychologytoday.com/.../what-we-know-about-age-gaps-in-dating-love-and-marriage

[aliali8]

So if you're 36 years old, there is a good chance that you will be attracting a lot of 30 year old women, not 20 something year olds.

[aliali8]

Many women are financially stable ourselves. There are more women than men in college. Women are just as capable of being professionals , just as men. Most of us do not need to care about how much money a man has, as long as he has a steady job and decent income. We can afford to marry the man we love , without putting too much weight on his income.

[aliali8]

I didn't take the dates that I went on with these 34-35 seriously either. I was just playing around. I've led quite a few of them on without ever intending to date them.

[es20490446e]

Cause it's a fake game, induced by infamous dating coaches and pick up artists.

[Kowoagete]

Guys picky? That's a fantasy animal, never ever happened. Guys get what the can and girls what they want usually

[Shihab91]

Guys in their 30s learned the lesson and become more mature

[ALoser]

Damn I didn't think it was possible for girls to be rejected. y'all men are weird

[deeks1121]

We like older at that age. I look for girls in thier 30s

[Bklynbadboy12]

Okay so date older just show love to the age group that shows love to you

[Tstrbrainer]

I'd rather hookup with a hooker than taking the trouble to date a woman

[Anonymous]

maybe they just aren't into you. maybe they dont want to get comitted to you

[Pogi-Paddy-2]

Because they are young, dumb and full of cum

[JamieLoves]

I’m still picky at my age