Is it wrong to tell a man "don't pressure yourself, you will find a girl" (and I tell you why)?

[more_than_a_guy]

Men are the ones to initiate with a woman, and part of the initiative is to pressure ourselves. Women will still get approached if they do nothing, men won't. We need to create the atmosphere and to pursue.

[Sarahr123]

Not all girls get approached. For instance I am super traditional. I don’t go to parties, I don’t go clubbing, bars or anything. My lifestyle is work and home. I have a few times been “approached” on the streets to be asked for my number and told that I am very beautiful however each time I was creeped out and obviously refused. If he can approach me, a random girl on the street then he can do the same to others. He is likely to cheat. I want a quality man or no man. Someone with high standards and someone who will be gormlessly loyal.

I do live in a very orthodox area where it is unlikely. A lot of girls are very chirpy and playfully tease boys and make fun of them which is how they end up with lots of boyfriends however I am not a frivolous person and I am afraid of betrayal so I treas carefully. As I said, I’d prefer to be alone than with a person who has no quality.

[more_than_a_guy]

You have some trust issues? When a man hits on a girl on the street, it has nothing to do with cheating. He needs to get initiative somehow to meet the women. Later on a date hopefully and see how it develops.

[more_than_a_guy]

A man who sees an attractive woman and tries to initiate with her, doesn't mean he is not in a good quality. Some men just need the physical attraction first, and then see if the personality is good and matching, because physical attraction is what you notice first in a person.

[Siren777]

No, not at all. Some girls are bold enough to approach. Some people strike it lucky by confidence alone.

[more_than_a_guy]

The majority won't approach even uf they like the guy, this is rare.

[JackSmy]

I think it is BULLSHIT, now! If we are to be EQUALS, women should approach men, ask men out, and pay, just like we do, and have, for centuries!
Most of the women I meet, and know, don't ACT LIKE EQUALS, and I am not interested in them, at all!
I want REAL WOMAN, she can be a Lady, but she can also work on cars, or hunt, or like target shooting! She is going to KNOW, that I EXPECT her to act like an EQUAL, and I don't expect her to do laundry, or dishes, or any of that BULLSHIT!
Where is she?

[more_than_a_guy]

I agree in your vision, but for now, reality is not like this. Most women won't approach. I am talking about the reality, dealing with what we have, not just the ideal.

[JackSmy]

@more_than_a_guy I am happy, content, not getting involved with the ones that cannot be what I need, in a companion. What is the point, getting into some relationship, with someone you KNOW is NOT what you really want? A "Fool's Errand," doomed to fail, and cause pain, and hard feelings!
I will wait, and focus on finding the RIGHT one, the REAL one!
I know she is out there!!

[more_than_a_guy]

This is too rare, I think. But look at this like this, after your initiative and leading at first, you become more equal, after you settle a bit more.

[JackSmy]

@more_than_a_guy Whatever works for you! My closest, best one, was with a dear friend, that I knew for almost 10 years. I knew EVERYTHING about her, and we had TOTAL trust. We still couldn't get it right. I think, mostly because of Family issues, and some 'Religious' things.

[more_than_a_guy]

Wish you the best, mate!

[JackSmy]

@more_than_a_guy You, as well.

[hellacray]

Haha yeah it's hard to believe that we live in a society where women have all the same rights. And all this non sense about equality but in the end men needs to approach and take women out on dates.

When has women ever taken a man out on a date? Like women have careers and are in leadership roles, I think they can handle a wine and dine for a guy.

Some say that's not very masculine. Ok well a woman that can't cook or clean isn't very feminine.

[more_than_a_guy]

Couldn't agree more

[NathanDavis]

You can only speak for yourself, this surely is not my experience

[more_than_a_guy]

I am talking in general, of course there are some exceptions

[NathanDavis]

yes, and generalizations to this extent are just dumb and pointless

[more_than_a_guy]

How so?

[NathanDavis]

because it leads you to wrong ends, and there's no benefit in that

[more_than_a_guy]

Depends how you look at it, I look at it as motivation that got me out of shyness

[more_than_a_guy]

The reality is that men have to pressure themselves in order to pursue, but how much is depends on the person, some are more extroverts and find it easy, hence the pressure is smaller. Some are getting nervous because they put too much pressure, which is wrong to do. You need to find balance but still the pressure is there. For me at first I was way more nervous in the past, but my experiences got me little less in time.

[NathanDavis]

there's bad motives and good motives... generalizations about women are about the worse thing you can do, if you want to eventually be with one, that is.

[more_than_a_guy]

But this is the reality, it is true. We have to deal with what we have.

[NathanDavis]

The reality of men is not your reality, and your reality is not the reality of men... that is more accurate.

If you work on the balance of your mind, then pressure will be less of an issue... and generalizations will only lead you the wrong way, you need to focus more on yourself as individual to find your true-self... and then focus on women as inviduals too, the one you have in front of you, see her, for what she is. If you see yourself and all men the same, and every woman as all woman... you only bring up distortion into you mindset, because your perception of reality won't match the reality out there, the actual one.

[NathanDavis]

See you're just repeating the same lines to different people in different conversations, this is already a problem, you're only fooling yourself

[more_than_a_guy]

I do agree working on one self before engaging is right. And I do separate individuals, and of course there are some exceptions. And I agree you need to balance your pressure, but it is still there. Look, even in nature, the male is the colorful one and needs to impress the female. I do agree now that humans can now be more equal in this, due to culture and understanding. But we still have some work to do to get there.