If Online Dating Sites/Experience Is So Bad Why Do People Keep Using Them?

Question

I see so many people complain about online Dating/Dating Sites so it makes me wonder why people keep using them then?

Lliam · Accepted Answer

I know next to nothing about on-line dating sites. I'm glad I never had to deal with that shit. It's so impersonal and I get the feeling that many or most people who haunt them are disingenuous. They treat them like candy stores, hook up sites, or click bait popularity contests. People treat others like shit - swiping, ghosting, etc.

I will say that I always met partners by seeing them somewhere and deciding to ask them out. I much prefer real people to digital avatars.

But I met my wife through a pre-internet dating organization called Great Expectations. It had rows and rows of ring binders in book cases, organized by the first letter of their first name. Each person had a page. On one side was a profile pic that was taken at a photo shoot by the organization. They took several photos. You could even change outits during the shoot. Then you picked the one you wanted to use. So there were no misleading photos or digital enhancements. On the other side of the page was a profile, based on standard questions.
You went through the books, and if there was someone you wanted to meet, you submitted a card that went to that person, They could check you out in the book and either accept or reject your invitation to meet.
If they accepted, you got their phone # and arranged a date.
You could submit up to five card a week.
Simple and straight forward. No mind games. .
I flipped through pages and looked for pretty girls. When I found one, I look at her profile. I went on several dates and made it to the middle of the C's before I met my future wife.

ChrisMaster69 · Accepted Answer

Because you can ‘check out’ guys, girls during your lunch break, coffee break, sat at desk etc. It makes it simpler to get an idea of what you are interested in.

this makes it easier than going out to pub, club etc on the off chance you get to talk to someone that possibly interests you.

Also if you live in the back ends of beyond (I almost do), then it’s easier than driving 100 miles to nearest city where you have a larger density.

personally a lot of people go about it the wrong way, often to materialistic, too high standards, to exacting on exactly what they want.

have a date with john / Jennifer who just wants to meet knew people, have a nice evening out, no pressures to simply date.

learn to socialise through these no commitment meet ups.

avoid sex type ones, even avoid the ‘after relationship’ ones, as there is more pressure.

also people need to think where they are having meet up date. Etc and ask more questions before they decide on meet up.

AnggieGirl · Accepted Answer

We are human and we still have our primal qualities that we’ve always had. Primal is NOT me saying an innuendo for the hanky panky but it’s me directly saying primal; we have social needs (non sexual), we have the need to nest in our homes (not sexual), we have needs to observe into this air and simply enjoy that moment for how we long it may last (not sexual)’ and it goes on. Folks need to understand their own needs in tending to their selves and their own life and if they become bored that they will not behave nicely and they will be jerks lol
We all need to learn how to interact and be nice and not need something greedy or temporary from someone. If you interact with someone, you are committing to them. Humans have a primal NEED to belong and to commit..
Be nice folks! Imagine that? 🙏

CrazyGirl2 · Accepted Answer

Oh God, I have no idea… I’ve never used one, but I imagine it has a similar answer to why women date the same type of guys over and over and over, even though it never works out, and they always end up in tears over a tub of Chocolate Haagen Dazs! Maybe the whole thing is a plot to sell MORE ice cream… especially Chocolate Haagen Dazs?

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I have had excellent results with online dating. I think that far too many people don't stop and consider the differences between meeting online and meeting IRL, and so they throw together a profile that doesn't really attract attention. And some people think that online dating means that ALL of your meetings are virtual and you never really get to meet in person!

The people who are successful don't speak up to tell you about their good experience, so everything you hear is negative.

coachTanthony · Answer

Most people who complain about online dating never used any of the apps or they got on and didn't quite invest anything into the process. The fact is millions are using online dating every day successfully.

myNameIsProfile · Answer

For the guy's perspective (or more specifically my perspective) I'll say it's pretty hard to find a girl that is single or interested in dating in real life situations, like work or other social activities like clubs or something (especially when you finish education, not in school anymore).

They would usually be already in relationship, or just not interested in you, or maybe wrong situations (like they would probably not be in the mood for a guy to approach them).

Or maybe the guy has already approach every girl in that proticular job/club and none of them are interested or none of then are his type and then you have no other choice but to move job or goto another club or go online, and obviously your main intentions for the job/club is not to look for girls, it's to do the thing you enjoy so you're more incline to go on dating apps.

Clubs and night outs are another option but most people don't look for serious relationships in these environments, usually just for fun and vibes.

That's most likely the reason why I could see a guy staying on dating apps, less work I guess.

But I don't use dating apps anyway and I don't recommend guys or girls to use them as well, too many toxic people and time wasters on that app, you'll do better in real life compared to online dating.

I'm also curious why girls still use the app though, it's a lot easier for them to get boys in real life (if they made the effort) and they don't have to scroll through thousands of messages, also I've heard from all my female friends that a lot of guys want to smash on those apps (and girls prefer relationships over casual sex), so I would make more sense deleting the app and start looking offline.

MasseurDeMojo · Answer

People do use Online dating in spite of the scams, because there is always one or two who are real.

For men; they front load them today with bots, just to get you hooked; and when you find a real person your endorphins go wild. So, now you are hooked, on finding more people, and you find instead those who are working for other sites; and getting paid for how many men they have move onto those sites (normally sex sites of some form); then you have the others who are their to get money for very bad people, they will rob you blind. These people are on every dating site of every type!!!

Yet we stay with these sites to find a real person. Some of us remember the sites before they became what they are today; when every person was real, and actually did want to meet. Now it is all about playing people, and getting their money.

This also applies to women, when they deal with men. Same process, just in the opposite direction.

We stay there because we want companionship, and real love. And most do not mind going through many dead ends to find the one road to their mate.

pajamasam · Answer

I had this realization recently. I had a few likes on tinder and I went to talk to then and I thought... "why?" Its just gonna end in a really awkward ghosting like it usually does so why bother?

Currently I'm talking to a girl who I met organically IRL and it feels way better than meeting someone through a dating app. We both have great feelings for each other and our personalities blend so well. We always have lots to talk about. I think this experience has led me to realize that dating apps are more trouble than they are worth.

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

Desperation. Its hard to meet people in the real world now and most people just don't know how to go about it (rules have changed in what is and is not acceptable, most socialization is now online/digital (especially younger generations), and as you get older its harder to meet new people especially considering that we have far smaller social networks compared to historically (and far fewer interactions with friends in general compared to previous generations (don't remember the exact numbers, I read it in an article some time ago).

Also, I highly recommend not biting one's laptop, it doesn't taste good and you have to spit out plastic afterwards (speaking from experience).

cth96190 · Answer

I do not understand why men continue to use dating sites.
Such sites are infested with scammers, usually from Nigeria and Ghana.
If the woman in the profile pix looks better than a wildebeest the profile is probably a fake, created by scammers, or the site owners to persuade lonely men to part with their money.
In my experience, the genuine profiles are of women who are insane (one in four of the adult female population are on head meds) and tend to be fat.
That was my experience.
My eldest son tried Tinder and other sites.
He met various women, which resulted in casual sex and a couple of relationships.
All of the females showed themselves to be insane (bipolar).
They all dumped him for abusive psychos who did not have two brain cells to rub together.
Perhaps on-line dating is a window to the general dating experience.

ohshee · Answer

I ran into this question about 10 times in the last past couple days and every time I see it I start laughing first of all I don't know is my answer to your question I don't use them
But the reason why I start laughing every time I see this question is because I read the question again and then I see the lady holding that laptop or whatever it is biting down on it in the first thought that comes to my head and she is *pissed * and I can hear her not getting her dates and I'll she's thinking is,,, * I want dick* errrrr

The_Maphio · Answer

Laziness. Social incompetence.
Having to deal with "live" rejection is something that modern spineless people can't deal with, so they'd rather get "ghosted" and bitch about it on internet than face the fact that not every single person is tailor made for each one of us.
Also, asking one out without even meeting them is more comfortable, as opposite to actually having to prepare before going out and having to do any concrete effort to get to know somebody.
Failure of modern society, in a nutshell.

AzzaBlue · Answer

Online dating is just a tool that requires a bare minimum of effort to use. They can be great when they work. As you may know, I have a subscription with POF. I've taken the time to write what I think is a semi-decent profile with professional taken profile pictures. Now all I've down is drop and left my fishing line in the pool and walked away. If I get and bites, great, if not, I haven't loss much. Like I said they are nothing but convenient tools that one can use to help find someone, but I think that it is important not to "put all your eggs in one basket." Otherwise, you might go insane.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I think people are desperate to meet someone and they just think why delete my account I'm sure someone will come along but I was on dating websites and it
didn't work out so I ended up just not staying on it and I also use chatlines back
in the day I ran up long-distance charges and third-party charges use 900 numbers
and 976 numbers but they have done away with them cause the phone companies
such as Verizon was not getting paid and people would ask to send the charges
back to the third-party companies and all they were doing is losing money and
I've learned my lesson stay away from them phone chatlines and stop with the
nonsense hey I was in my 20's

HawkPerception · Answer

Nowadays, there are very very few opportunities to start a conversation with a girl you find attractive without them thinking you're creepy. And because everyone knows about the existence of dating sites, it makes those opportunities even less, because many of them just think "I don't have to talk to these creeps in person. I can just go home and talk to a bunch of guys in a few minutes. Plenty of guys want me." The rift between people created by social/dating apps is only increasingly fueled by the lack of desire to humor or give people the time of day in person.

Many people blame going on social apps on their lack on their introversion. "It's too hard for me to talk to people randomly in person." This mentality will continue to worsen.

DocJones · Answer

I have never actually gone on a date with someone from an online site. I have created a couple profiles just to see what it is all about and the whole thing just seems weird to me. I got messages from scammers, men, crazy women, very aggressive women and a few seemingly nice and normal women.
I did reply to some of the messages though I had no intention of meeting anyone. One woman asked me if I am a user like all the rest and only looking for sex. A day later she sent another message saying that I seemed nice and could come over to have sex lol. I politely declined.
It can be quite entertaining browsing the profiles and I recommend doing so to anyone that enjoys a freak show lol.

Bricealan · Answer

Maybe, they don't have any options? Consider the individual that has no social life and doesn't get out socially to meet people, women in particular. One line dating is so much like a Blind Date. I have had some that turned out great, and some that turned into a disaster. So to with on line dating. I don't go on blind dates any more for that reason. I usually want the woman to see me, and me to see her. You can hide behind a computer screen for just so long. Why people go back for more self torture again and again. I don't know.

Lionman95 · Answer

Because it´s like social media one starts easily and can get addicted to it. Another reason is, that in times of the pandemic it seems like the only reasonable options. Especially for shy guys it´s the only real way to get a relationship so one starts to look around finding a new website starting to hope it would be better than the last.

Jazquee · Answer

Slutty women. Lol... and men.
most people I know that use those sites use it to get off... then move on.
Those types like to lie and pretend they are something they are not to get attention and nudes.
Some times Skype sex. Then they move on. No intentions of ever meeting. Just using free porn
Lol

EternallyCorrect · Answer

It's all they know, especially the younger ones. They've grown up using social media to interact with people. Many of them don't know how to meet people face to face.

It baffles me particularly with men. They'll go on a site like Tinder, in which the gender ratio is 10:1 men to women, then complain that they never get any matches or dates. Then you try to tell them to go meet women in person and they ignore you, only to complain about the exact same thing later.

poneglyphs · Answer

Because I get hopeful and things don't go as planned. Also, I did get a date but I don't know what happened she stop responding to me. Also, it's a big destroyer on ur self esteem because it sucks when you match with girls and all they want is your money. Aka snapchat premium or onlyfans.

SaoirseS · Answer

I’ve never used a dating app and don’t plan to. There are a few success stories I’ve heard from others. One couple I know met through eharmony (I think it’s a pay site), hit it off and have been married for almost two years. Not sure but I think another couple (friend of the family) met through Christianmimgle. But I hear more horror stories and frustration from those who use free dating apps. They’re available to those who want to use them, I just have no interest in them.

Splatzonelover1 · Answer

I don't like anyone from my job or my town. The guys that I am limited to are learning disabilities guys are harder to find. I tried to used disabilities dating site and was on and off. Very werid men there and starting talking to guy through Facebook instead of using dating site. There is limited about men that has a learning disabilities because they be dying a lot more then mainstream people. I just used social. There other reason for other users. Could be a small town. Or every single men in my town is player and same with my job is full of players.

Still-alive · Answer

they might have no other outlet to find people to date.

otherwise yeah i used to be on couple and i pretty much gave up after awhile. its particularly difficult for guys because there's soooo many that just want sex so the ones that actually want something serious get overlooked. Plus im definitely not a conventionally attractive dude with huge biceps and abs lol so yeah i gave up.

PaynefulPleasures · Answer

That's an excellent question thankfully I've never used them, I don't even use Facebook, Instagram, any of that nonsense. I prefer to be my own cause of stress 😉

Anonymous · Answer

For that "needle in the hay stack". I keep going on them because I live in a small town and don't meet women in general, never mind single ones, so even though any kind of "success" is very rare, I have had some dates at least that never would have happened if it weren't for online.

Paolaa988 · Answer

Sometimes you can come across a good person on there even tho you may come across some flaky people or liars, you never know it's just a chance you take with dating and sometimes people dont meet at work or public so a dating app could help you put yourself out there a little more.

GottaAskYa · Answer

I work from home, live in a very small town and have 2 kids. I was married almost 20 years and have never went to a bar or club (I hear they are worse). It is really the only option I can think of. I'm not sure how to meet someone socially and where. And even then I don't want to hit on someone already "taken". At least you get an idea of who the person is with a profile (may or not be real) and can make you decision based on the chats. But I haven't had luck. Just my heart broken be an emotionally unavib. guy that updated his dating profile before he broke up with me (same day, I got a notification he updated his profile)

Turrorrr · Answer

it is usually the cirle - you go online, you get the rush something will happen - noting happens - algorhytm puts you in dead mode - you get dissapointed and leave online dating - time passes - you get desperate again - move to point 1.
the thing is, if you really devote into it, eventually you would meet someone ok. i have several friends who got their girlfriend online, but usually it took them 1-3 years of active usage. you should not be needy if you date online and you should use it as a supplement.

Waldoe · Answer

everyone needs to learn for themselves... it is kind of like learning math, just because everyone that has finished the 8th grade knows math, doesn't mean a 3rd grader should know math, they need to be taught... people need to learn about dating sites by being ripped off/// how else will they learn?

ODC2112 · Answer

There is a supermarket mentality. People are there to buy people, not to look for someone to be in a relationship with. They buy people based on characteristics such as hedonic attributes. They continue to use them because they are a hyper simplification of reality that eliminates numerous approach problems. Also because in decayed countries these would now be seen as harassment, while with apps there are no such problems.

Ez-Bri-Z · Answer

Eh... im relatively new to this space but yeah so far it has been pretty awful. I am not even trying to hook up irl and its still just the absolute worst kinds of people when it comes to dating. Thankfully I have some good people here to just talk to that help me get through it.

krin_m · Answer

I don't know. I personally never used them. I have met people in person after communication with them online but all those always have been in professional context and not personal.
I do think that if are careful and have very low expectations about getting results, they may be a means for finding dates. But that is just my opinion that is not backed by any experience or solid logic! :-)

Interstate · Answer

People tend to get overly dramatic when there is misfortune or a negative experience, just to avoid the chance of another misfortune or negative. We think this bad experience is "the worst", so we just say that we aren't doing this again just to convince ourselves to keep distance. Then when that feeling of drama dissipates, we turn back because we think there will be no more negativity from it again. It's as if in our mind, it never happened in the first place.

SunnySonia · Answer

Anticipation and positivity that the next one will be better.

Even if they don't get what is desired, they can at least 'window shop' and try different experiences virtually. They at least feel some efforts are made towards their 'goals'.

dreamstar72 · Answer

Easier for most to use their fingers not their feet. However if the result are bad all it takes is a finger and a click, but in real time you use your feet and run like hell.

Massageman · Answer

The pandemic jazz certainly helped to shoot "virtual stuff" through the roof, not that it's anywhere near as good as meeting IRL.  It's a lower effort option: for some, it's that or nothing.

JSmuve · Answer

Same reason why people continually play the lottery when they know the odds are slim: they hope this time will be different.

Anonymous · Answer

No other options available. The last year had been a nightmare for going out and meeting new people in person. And in general overall it seems harder for this generation to meet love in person. So you end up feeling like you have no other options but to go for online dating. That's been my experience at least. I don't like online dating, it's awkward. But I feel like at this given moment I don't have much of a choice.

Anonymous · Answer

It is different for every person. It worked so good for me. I ve meet amazing people online. The man im in love with.. I meet him online and it is such a beautiful feeling he made me feel. Never been so happier not even with people i meet from school or work. So it depends on the person and how they know to make a good connection.

Avicenna · Answer

Because for a lot of people, that is their only or only realistic option.

NamerOfStars · Answer

I never have, but I think the idea is that that's what people use, so that's where they are. With lockdowns shutting down a lot of in-person options, many feel they have no real choice- and likely aren't wrong.

shygirlie_xoxo_ · Answer

Because people are apaparently really really really lonely in this mechanised world full if shit technologies and then they search for some real connection on dating sites. They can't help themselves.

DaveToo · Answer

With the false hope that the one gem we've been looking for was looking for us.

Silas_153 · Answer

Maybe because there are a lot of really desperate people out there who will try anything to end the loneliness, even risk being scammed.

loves2learn · Answer

They are hoping something will change. They are desperate. They hear others have success and hope their success is next.

silkjames · Answer

There whack lol thats the only words come too mind lol

zagor · Answer

Lack of alternatives. The next step down is standing on the corner with a sign that says "fuck me please".

exitseven · Answer

They are too lazy to go through the hard work of meeting people and getting to know them. You can buy just about anything on line so why not find somebody to date.

captain_voidwalker · Answer

Well I don't date but let's suppose I did. I work on average 12 to 14 hours a day 6 days a week and Sundays are for getting stuff around my house done. I wouldn't have time to go hit up a bar so online would be my only option.

Liber8CopWatch · Answer

Pure laziness, people don't want to actually get off their ass and actually get into a social setting and engage and get to know people of the opposite sex. Me I'm not gonna sugarcoat it

cush_ebo · Answer

To pass time... don't talk to neighbours... will you want to date me 😐😐😐😐 online 😂?

Katebfun · Answer

I have no idea been on and off of them for 4 years! And the definition of insanity is doing the same thing expecting different results!!🙄😒

PeacefulRainDrop · Answer

My results were excellent a lot better than guys that asked me out in person I didn't know

Anonymous · Answer

It's easy and they're lazy. What more could you want?

Slartybartfast · Answer

Online dating , after three weeks it convinced me to never date again and completely changed the way I view women (for the worse)

Honestly, if I had tried it before I got engaged I would have stayed single.

slatyb · Answer

I had a great experience with online dating. My wife did too.

chrissykerdock · Answer

you can definitely get laid using them... you may not find handsome men but you'll get what you want... as in a penis for the night in one way or another.

Anonymous · Answer

Because the other options are deemed to unsafe in this illogical world and we are losing vast amounts of population whilst the new nuclear superpower is working towards a population of 2billion
Better get used to communism because it is coming back on a global scale

Marhaban-1 · Answer

It's probably like porn, it's repulsive but addictive

Shark_61695 · Answer

They beat doing nothing and seeing no one... well, they would do if I ever got any matches :)

I've not spoken to anyone outside my family since well before covid so the opportunity to date is negligible.

Shihab91 · Answer

- pandemic - they are new to online dating and didn't realize that yet.

Jxrdyn_13 · Answer

Desperation and fear of being alone forever. Not having enough people skills to initiate a conversation with someone irl

If Online Dating Sites/Experience Is So Bad Why Do People Keep Using Them?

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If Online Dating Sites/Experience Is So Bad Why Do People Keep Using Them?

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