Men who pay for first date, do you only pay if you fancy the woman?

[AlongCameCindy]

I am aware there is plenty of men who don't believe in paying for dates so this is mainly to the men who do pay but feel free to answer your opinion regardless, but if you're a guy who does pay do you only tend to pay if you fancy/attracted to the woman, or do you pay regardless as you feel like thats the right thing to do?

I only pay if i fancy the woman.

I pay regardless if i find them attractive or not.

I never pay for dates, only 50/50.

[Lliam]

First, why would I date a woman if I didn't fancy her?

Anyway, I always pay for dates. It's just seems like the gentlemanly thing to do. It's not like I was too poor to afford a meal. And I don't have issues with women, such as believing that they are all good diggers or users.

Plus, if I was the one who asked her out, I should pay.

I wouldn't insist to hard on paying if a date felt strongly about paying or going Dutch. Ain't no big thing as far as I'm concerned. My machoness wouldn't be offended.

I've actually had ladies pay the bill once we've been dating.

[AlongCameCindy]

Because you can’t tell online if you are attracted from just a photo

[Lliam]

Oh. Nevertheless, if I arranged a date, I wouldn't act like a dick just because she wasn't my type. That would be really mean.

[Leavesbound]

The person who asks the other one out is obligated to pay for the date regardless unless they announce an end to the date in which case they are only obligated to pay for the part of the date that came before the announcement as well as transportation home for their date.

At some point it would be nice if she reciprocated but it isn't necessary. Since I'm a better cook than most professional chefs, I tend to invite a girl to come to dinner. Then paying is irrelevant since I already have the food on hand.

Whether I "fancy" her or not doesn't enter into it and for that matter I wouldn't have asked her if I didn't fancy her.

[AmandaYVR]

Yay, nice to see these results. 🎉

[OlderAndWiser]

I pay for every date, even a first date when I know that I don't want to see her again.

[AlongCameCindy]

for you, how long does it take you to know you don't want to see them again, is it often quickly or does it take quite abit of talking to them to be sure?

[OlderAndWiser]

If they show up and don't look like their profile picture, it's immediate. Otherwise, I probably know by the time we are finished with dinner.

[OlderAndWiser]

If I suggest going to the lounge for an after-dinner drink, then I probably want to see her again.

[AlongCameCindy]

meaning they've used much younger photos or put on weight?

[OlderAndWiser]

generally, it means the pictures were taken 100 pounds ago.

[HugoThe2nd]

Men who pay on the first date do it for their ego, it has nothing to do with the woman and everything to do with the man's need to validate his "malehood".

The only time I pay for dates is when I want to treat someone, and that is never going to happen on the first date.

[AlongCameCindy]

Tbh i think its also because they want the woman to like them too, most guys know its not attractive if he doesn't pay.

[HugoThe2nd]

That's not about the woman, it's about their desperation and lack of spine.
A man with confidence knows that the attraction of a woman which hinges on him paying on the first date isn't worth jack shit.

[AlongCameCindy]

Its probably the most polite a man is ever going to be, if he doesn't pay for a first date, it says much more about someone than you think, most alpha males will want to pay.

[HugoThe2nd]

It's your freedom to believe that.
I don't go on second dates with women who don't split the bill.

[ChiTown33]

It's my intent to always pay. Last date I had she asked me out. I intended to pay but she snatched up the check almost as soon as it hit the table. Lol
I do think as tradition guys should pay. But I also think if he's paying she should also be somewhat pleasant. I went on a date ( notice I said "A" date lol) with a women that I guess found me too boring. She recognized every other guy that entered the restaurant. And kept excusing herself to go talk to them. She spent most the date at other tables.

[loveslongnails]

Cindy - If I didn't "fancy" the woman, I wouldn't be on a date with her in the first place !! If you're asking if the date went wrong, or it turned out I misjudged the girl and didn't like what I heard, I'd still pay for the date. The other way I wouldn't pay for it all is if she did or said some things that were so offensive I had to leave. In that case, I'd have thrown half on the table. By the way, that's never happened to me.

[AlongCameCindy]

You can't always be sure online tho, photos only tell so much if its online dating, chemistry and liking the look of someone are different things.

[loveslongnails]

I wouldn't date a girl simply based on her photo. I'm going to have some voice, not just text, conversations, before I want to meet her. I don't "swipe and meet" within the hour.

[superrmatt]

If I ask you out, I pay. For at least the first three dates. Sometimes, she is quick to whip out her credit card, in which case I only insist once.
Has nothing to do with being the man or with gender norms. It sinply comes down to this "if I ask you out, I pay".

[MTC29]

My rule of thumb is that the person who asked the other person on the date pays. Typically, that's the man, I expect to pay. Because I date mostly professional women with careers, and who have resources to pay their own way, it sometimes turns out 50-50. If there are future dates, we'll alternate paying.

[bamesjond0069]

I dont pay if she tells me she's a feminist. I say "well lets right the past injustices and you pay for my meal. There is historical precedent we have to negate" and I've had a few girls pay for me that way! 😂😂😂😂😂 what losers. Suffice to say i dont pay for those girls.

[LeoElias]

says the 34 year old whos still dating. Wow you must be a catch who's not ever getting married. Thats embarrassing. What are you going to be 80 and still going on dates lol thats sad

[bamesjond0069]

@LeoElias i have a girlfriend bro doesn't mean i was never single ever in my life. Wtf you smoking? 😳

[LeoElias]

Sorry I had a fight with mine and I was feeling pissed. I took it out on you for no reason. I apologize.

[bamesjond0069]

@LeoElias you're good bro

[20yearsolder]

I wouldn't be on a date with her if I didn't fancy her

[AlongCameCindy]

you can't always be sure online, if you are attracted or not, photos only tell you so much

[20yearsolder]

I didn't take online dating into consideration. If I ask any woman out on a date, I'm paying for the date. I'm just raised that way

[Interstate]

Whoever volunteers to pay should uphold their insistence no matter how they end up feeling about the person. Especially on a first date.

[888theGreat]

If I didn't fancy her why would I be on a date with her?

[AlongCameCindy]

online dating you can't be sure you will fancy them

[otaku_owl_91]

Never take a woman to anywhere fancier than Chili's or Applebee's unless you're engaged or she's your wife. With that being said, yes, I would pay regardless if I was into her out of courtesy, but I wouldn't go on a 2nd one. That's why men have to properly vet out the women that just want a free meal.

[oddwaffle]

From picture: "I don't know how much I have in this debit card but let's give it a try."

[TallAnon]

Often girls offer to split it themselves, if they do, sure. Otherwise I'll play.

[AlongCameCindy]

So if they offer you accept them paying otherwise you'll pay?
you should probably reverse that.

[TallAnon]

I prefer them wanting me to pay it than them pretending to want to pay.

[AlongCameCindy]

that makes sense then.

[LonelyDeer]

I will normally pay regardless unless I suspect she would like to pay or go even or she clearly stated she wanted to.

[Slim57]

Pretty much, supposedly went on a surprise double date but I wasn't interested so thats the only one first date I never paid for

[AlongCameCindy]

did she mind you not paying?

[Slim57]

Apparently not because she tried to get me to hang out again not long after

[AlongCameCindy]

oh wow

[Slim57]

Yeah I never considered it a date maybe she didn't either, my friend was the one who set it all up and i didn't even know til I got there

[Anonymous]

Why should I feed a stranger? For nothing in return...
Equal rights, remember? And not only when it suits you.

50/50 until, we have bedroom fun, then pays person who invited, if it is done ~50% of times, back to 50/50, if she never invites.

Men can do it all on their own or with other men, they only need bedroom fun from women.

So paying professional, if it is legal in you part of the world, is cheaper, better quality and 100% guarantee of outcome.

[LoveIsFake]

Women always wanted to be treated like men so it's time for girls to shine and play their part and pay for dates. It's 2021 you can't choose which benefits you want from equality

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

MEN always pay for dates

HOWEVER, if a woman doesn't at least offer to pay, there will be no second or third or fourth etc.. dates

She needs to show me she's not after just my money. but that she likes me for ME

[exitseven]

If I ask somebody on a date I expect to pay for the whole thing no matter what she looks like.

[Submissive74]

I generally get paid. The more you ignore them , the madder they get. They buy me a drink and it's time to go 😁.

[Iron_Man]

No I always pay on a blind date even if I’m not attracted to her just out
of professionalism courtesy

[NoLookingAtSoleil]

I'd probably minimise the whole thing/time together etc, but I'd pay for it anyhow (except if she was an angry bitch, then I'd turn around and walk away)

[nawtee_me]

Paying is the right thing to do no mater if you have feeling for her or not. Now if she ask to pay I let her as I do not want her to get the wrong impressions.

[cth96190]

There would not be a date if I was not interested in the female.

[Wiredone]

If I asked her on the date I'm paying the bill regardless if we had a good time or not. It's not her place to pay.

[Yourfriend2021]

I would pay for the first date if I thought she really liked me and wasn't just trying to get a free lunch.

[ohshee]

No I repay because I probably asked her out and that we probably paid the next time too and probably the next time it's not that big of a deal to me

[genericname85]

i think those that do, do it for tradition, not for the particular girl.

[vald9inches]

I always try to pay regardless but to be honest i wouldn't be on date with them in the first place if i wasn't somewhat attracted to them lol unless it was a blind date somehow

[OddBeMe]

I would pay as I’m old school. But I think it comes down to who asked who out.

[Twalli]

I am always able to pay, but outside of the first date, I don't expect to pay for everything.

[Joshua0213]

If I asked her out then I'd always pay, but if she asked me out id expect her to pay

[jerdanro]

I always pay for the date. That's what a gentleman does. Plus I asked, I should pay.

[Snakeyes7]

I only pay in full for the first date but the kicker is that it will be for coffee. That way of she's a total psycho I'm not losing enough money to lose sleep over.

[Paul09]

I pay all my dates regardless. But I do wish I didn't have to, or at the least pay for yourself lol. It gets annoying going out on so many dates just to give out free meals..

[crazy8000]

Only pay my part.

A female that expects him to pay or want to split half the bill gives bad signals no matter what anyone says.

[JesseJayNeak]

Split it up because equality and chivalry don't mix

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I pay regardless of I find them attractive or not.

[Andres77]

If I invited them I'm going to pay.

[Mark987]

No I pay even If i Don't.. I always have

[dudeinohio]

I always pay first date

[Hanrej]

It wouldn't even be a date if I didn't like her.

[Zygum]

I like to share 50/50,

[krin_m]

I always paid on first dates and subsequent dates!

[TremorJay]

Imagine a first date

[Browneye57]

The one who's richer should pay, no?

[Anonymous]

It depends... is she putting out after dinner?

[msc545]

I pay to be polite

[Jerre]

I always pay!

[Anonymous]

I pay if I asked them out.