Are modern feminist ideas making couples too competitive?

Question

A very very small about of competition is alright of course. You should desire to impress your partner, a little bit.

But do modern feminist ideas, such as being career focused, independent etc cause couples to compete in unhealthy way due to pressure society puts on them?

This question arises as at the start of my new relationship I felt inadequate next to me boyfriend who is super smart, has always achieved perfect grades and amazing career progression... until he told me I was being ridiculous. I realised that forces from outside the relationship are making me feel like I have to be his 10000% equal, when the truth what does it matter when privately, we are?

Aakash_Hangargi · Accepted Answer

It has nothing to do with feminist idea simple fact is money gives you power , power to choose , power to demand , power to demand respect.

Bc money doesn't come free you have to earn it , and to earn it you need certain skills to have skills you need to have knowledge now these tools are things that increase your value.

If you understand this being deoendant on money from someone else will make you feel lesser if they ask you what is it for you need this much amount.

Or it will prick when something small error happens and they ask you can't do this small think you are just sitting in house.

I always say one thing be a house wife be a mother it has its own fulfilment and that's way more devine the sacrifice it takes and the reward you would get is very less.

But learn some skills and make something of an identity don't get lost in shadows of your man.

It will haunt you in future so there are things you could do being a house wife and do part time something else as well so do it.

You will feel prouder of yourself trust me.

It doesn't have to be a super intellectual job there are 100 of jobs that need hardwork or smart work choose whichever you are comfortable with and you take time to develop those skills you don't have to do it in one day so just think about it.

God forbid if something happens to your husband and everything crashes upon you what would you do think of the children dependent on you how would you feed them so be wise and own some skills that could generate money for you

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

So here's the thing: it's true that all those things you felt inadequate about--being super smart, achieving perfect grades, and having amazing career progression--make a dude more attractive to most girls. And I'm sure the fact that your guy was scoring well in all those dimensions was part of what you found very attractive about him. BUT (and here's the important "BUT!") the things that are most important to women when assessing a man and the things that are most important to a man when assessing a woman as a MATE are NOT the same. So you might have thought "I like this guy so much because he's a brainiac who's crushing his career! I feel like a slacker in comparison--he must not find me so attractive." But that would be VERY wrong. As you no doubt sorted out from talking w/ your dude, we guys don't tend to really care WHAT you girls do for a living. There are other things which are much, MUCH more important to us in terms of mate selection. I'd take positive, light-hearted, and fun-loving ANY day over, driven, hyper-intelligent career crusher who lacks ANY of the characteristics mentioned earlier.

AmandaYVR · Accepted Answer

Feminism is about not being dependent on men to gift us what they think we deserve. It's about independence and self-reliance; being equally valued (but for different contributions), equal opportunity, repercussions for sexual abuse and harassment, safety for women.

Life is too costly now to have families/households survive on one income (for the most part, depending on careers and where one lives.) It's usually not even a choice to work, it's a necessity. So don't blame feminism for the world being competitive. It's the wrong way to couch it.

Men don't care whether you're successful. (In fact, a lot of them would prefer you're not.) He feels more valuable, and better about himself, when he is the more successful, and when he can be more. (Although not so much more that you are 100% dependent on him.)

hi_it_is_me123 · Accepted Answer

Feminism gives you a choice. Do what makes me you happy. If you want to be a housewife, be housewife. If you want to make a career, make a career. Yes they are feminazis like mgtow incels who hate men or women and both use the same tactics. If people did not give them attention, they would not be a thing. So ignore what they say. Some people would say mgtow guys are conservative traditional guys who hate career/working women as if someone force them to date these women. Here a youtube video for them which show their love for housewifes 😃:

https://youtu. be/rJGdw20pNgQ

FilmGuy93 · Answer

In my experience; yes, especially if the guy is a high performer. I think a lot of women get told from a very young age that men won't desire them or respect them unless they are making money and have a career, but the truth is that men don't see women that way. It's especially dangerous if the guy is ultra successful because it will create a constant feeling of inferiority and insecurity (even resentment) in the woman. I am a successful-ish Filmmaker and soon-to-be Entertainment Lawyer. I love what I do, and I am successful at it by most anyone's metrics. I certainly don't want to sound like I'm bragging, but I imagine that it would tough to keep up with a guy like me. I certainly wouldn't want my partner to feel like she had to be my equal before I would respect her.

TheFlak38 · Answer

Feminism was never about equality. It's all about replacing men in society. Women have become the defect enemy of men as a consequence. When you have "diversity quotas" in a company dictating that 50% of the personnel must be female then in practice this means that men will lose their jobs to hire unqualified women. This is clearly a threat to a man's income, career and life. That bitch Kathleen Kennedy complains that the visual effects industry is full of men and it needs more women. What you gonna do bitch? Fire even more men than those who already lost their jobs just to hire your feminist friends?

Agape93 · Answer

So wanting an equal partner is considered too competitive?

TheBootyChest · Answer

For me the one that got my attention was being independent. To me that makes me think/feel that she doesn't need/want me most of the time. And I need to know that the person I am with needs me and that I need her too.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Yeah. you're being ridiculous. Take some days off from work and forget the loss in pay. Deep clean the house do all the chores and rub his back and cook him legit home cooked meal thats good... not a hotdog and canned corn. He will really appreciate it. OR work overtime to get ahead at work, be more stressed out at home and leave the chores to him... and expect the promotion but you will be single by then. The choice is yours.

Anonymous · Answer

Not at all. You should be in competition with yourself not your partner.
Feminism doesn't support you having to be better then your partner, it doesn't even support that all women must have a career. It just says that women should have a career if they chose to.
There is no pressure. No need to compete. Both should support and help the other. That's how a relationship works and what feminism endorses.

VanillaSalt · Answer

Wait there’s couples today? My understanding is men don’t wanna date feminists so their running away and only one night standing women.

FakeName123 · Answer

Yes. Instead of complementing each other the attempt is to make women act like men and compete on male spheres - which naturally makes most of them fail and become bitter.

Feminists are the biggest woman haters out there.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, but it’s not like it’s both ways. It’s relevant to more precisely identify the nature of the issue.

*Women* care about men’s career, and *women* care about women’s career.

Guys don’t care.

Anonymous · Answer

Feminism is a cancer and feminists are undesirable partners. Good luck finding a partner who is your equal, regardless of whether you are male or female. You'll be lucky to find anyone that you can get along with at all

Anonymous · Answer

All such ideologies exist in our society. It's our fault if we are being influenced by it. Men like your boyfriend like not so smart dependent women who are ready to be housewives. So it works well enough

anon1903 · Answer

Certain level of dependence is necessary for partnering.

Anonymous · Answer

No. Women SHOULD make their own money, so that they won't have to settle for abusive assholes and turn into financial hostages.

Smegskull · Answer

You can't be independent and depend on each other and you need to be able to depend on each other to bond in a relationship.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Absolutely. After competing at work all fucking day long the LAST thing a man wants is to come home to a competitive bitch of a wife.

Randalama · Answer

Not sure about the couples element but earnings in general are important. Women need to earn these days.

Lazi-boi · Answer

Feminism is making couples nonexistent

darkman135 · Answer

I agree with u. Exact equality is not realistic. Equality contains "equality of rights".

Anonymous · Answer

It is a fact that feminist do make women miserable. This is why most feminist end up lonely with 10 cats.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes.

Are modern feminist ideas making couples too competitive?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Are modern feminist ideas making couples too competitive?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.