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I never understood why people don't have the fact that they have kids in their bios. It's a pretty big deal to most people.
I guess I understand why they do it. But in my mind they know it affects how many "matches" they get, and they knowingly leave it out, to attract the people that would normally swipe left on the fact they have kids.
Which is (1) dishonest (2) makes it seem like they are ashamed of their kids & (3) why would they want to attract people that wouldn't want someone with kids anyway?
I don't want to date someone with kids. So if I matched, talked with this person, and then only found out on the date that they have children. Yes, I would be pissed. Mostly because it would be a waste of my time and money since as the guy I will be paying for the date.
Some will argue that you might give that person a chance when you wouldn't have normally. But the fact that they ommitted such important information is a major red flag, for the reasons I stated above.
I also usually ask before the date, because this is important to me, so it's never actually happened to me.
Kids? As in more than one? And she wasn't upfront about that? Hell no- total dealbreaker.
No, I wouldn't.
I'm not even sure I want kids. I'm not good with kids and having kids in the picture complicates the situation even more.
Also, that's something the person should mention as soon as possible.
Of course I would date a single parent. Having kids would not be a deal breaker for me. That said, everybody is different, so some people may not want that.
Opinion
21Opinion
When I was a single guy in my 20's. No I would have never dated anyone with kids. I never would have even dated anyone that had been married before.
I wanted my own wife and I wanted my own kids when I chose to have them.
Now that I am 30 and married with a child. If I were a widower who had been married and has a kid... I'd now date someone in my same situation. I'm in a different phase of life now.
As a single guy with no kids, never been married I would never get involved with someone who already had kids.
That would be 'past', not 'passed'.
And no, kids are a deal-breaker, for a LOT of reasons. Primarily, you would NEVER be their priority, EVER. Those kids, her job, her mother, her friends, will ALL come before you. And no guy worth his sale wants to raise someone else's crotch-fruit.
I have to seriously consider it, because I'm not changing anyone's diapers and not in the position to be anyone's new daddy. It's impossible to date a (decent) single mother without having to also deal with her kids, and I don't want or need that extra drama. I deal with enough kids as it is as an ESL teacher. A few hours a day as a teacher is enough, but being a weekend daddy is too much.
I'm trying to start my own family, not fail miserably to repair somebodies broken one. I will never be her number one priority, ever. Why would I subject myself to that? Also, If the kids Dad comes back then she'll likely end up leaving me and taking him back to fix her broken life that way, so her baby can have Dad back.
I would only consider it if I were a single father.
Yes. I personally don't want kids of my own, like, biological. I don't know why, because the idea of adopting or step parenting doesn't bother me. But if they are actually trying to take care and raise that kid correctly, then I have no problem staying with them.
You need to be honest, tell them you think they're great but that the family dynamic is not going work for you. You're not ready for it and it's not what your looking for. Compliment her kids if she showed a pic.
If you both want an occasional friend in whatever form, maybe you can look at that..
I dated a lady who "omitted" the fact that she had three children.
I was like what the fuck? We were two months into our relationship. I didn't mind the children. But that was akin to lying.
I would, but would expect them to tell me withing the first couple of dates. Reading some of these comments it's and eye opener on how many guys wouldn't date a single mother.
I voted yes. I have changed my mind about this. If the kids were older, like hight school age I would date their mother. Toddlers I would have a problem with. They take up too much time and are more needy than I am.
Yes. If it’s someone awesome, yes without question.
No, because I don't want to have kids, so if the thing became serious I would have to take care of a family I don't want to have
As long as its one kid and theyre between the ages of 2 and 7
If I don't know that b4hand, ofc not. This is smth that you should know.
No. They should also be upfront about it before the date. Either way, for me that’s just too much baggage I don’t want to handle.
Yes! I don't mind if this person is a father or mother.
It would turn into a friends with benefits thing or I'd back out.
Find out? Not telling me up front is a deal-breaker.
prolly just hit it and quit it
only thing worst than a single mom of multiple kids is a deceptively single mom of multiple kids
That's a no from me. Especially when this wasn't said from the get go
single mothers are damaged - No! I don't want to date a person who has their own children.
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