Would You Date a Virgin Girl Like Me?

Question

lol. Theoretically would you date a girl like me? Im a virgin out of choice and only want to have sex with a guy I’m in love with and treats me right.

I have an attitude and expect the worst from people most of the time because, well, trauma. When my walls come down, I’m actually very sensitive and a cry baby - I just don’t show it to everyone.

Im a bit girly so I like to always look my best. I get told I’m an attractive woman by a lot of guys so I like to think I am.

I have brains and I use my loud, straightforward traits in my journalism career.

The reason I’m writing this is because I feel like I’ve lost connection with what I want, and ultimately it’s an honest partner and a family. I just can’t seem to date the right guy but I guess he will come when I least expect it. Wherever he is...

224466881010 · Accepted Answer

Some guys love virgins because basically they're sexually (and many times emotionally or psychologically) ignorant. For many guys feelings of inadequacy, jealousy and general insecurity stemming from a woman's past experiences and how she might be comparing them to him is a significant psychological hurdle. Not to mention all of the things women do that has a dark side (like the notorious "tree-branching" behavior present in the hypergamy narrative in evolutionary psychology, contrasted with the idea that men don't want to be cucked or fooled into raising some other Alpha male's offspring).

When a man with some experience dates a woman who is a virgin he likely feels more secure because:

- Virgins don't have a lot of experience to compare him to.
- To her, he's the best sexual partner ever simply because he's the only one.
- If the man doesn't measure up in some way or god-forbid does some minor unethical behaviors, it's a lot harder for her to realize because she lacks experience (not to say virgins are idiots who will get taken for a ride invariably, but it helps a lot of you've had direct experience standing up to a few different people about bad behavior), so there's some wiggle room for the guy to mess up and not really be held accountable for it.
- He can kind of "mould" the woman into his ideal sexual partner so she does it exactly how he wants it because the woman is less likely to have developed her own tastes that might conflict with his, plus he has "authority from expertise" in the negotiation; l whether it ends up fair or not (ex: it's normal for women to give blowjobs every time but for me to go down on you is gross, harder, xyz excuse bla bla bla)
- The woman has never had sex before him, so it's much less likely that she will try to have an affair because having sex is probably a huge deal for her.
- She is less likely to leave because again, it's probably a bigger deal for her.
- Some men have superstitious or religious beliefs about virgins. Some believe that they're "higher value" or "more righteous" than "these other whores who've had sex a few times".
- Some men buy the idea that women who have had sex before are somehow dirty or immoral.
- Some believe that being through a few relationships cripples a woman's ability to "pair-bond" and this is a fatal weakness in a long term relationship because it's easier for the woman to leave/give up, instead of working harder on fixing the issues. So virgins are better in that respect.

There are most of the main pros of virgins, though I'd argue some of them are actually cons, like:

- A virgin doesn't know what they want. Fundamentally, you can try to teach them to be your ideal lover, but it might not be authentic to them at the deepest level.
- A virgin doesn't always have the experience required to set healthy boundaries that would be beneficial for the relationship. YOU'RE the one she's supposed to set them for, but you're kind of her "mentor" in the relationship. That's hard.
- If a virgin lacks the experience to know or hold you accountable when you're performing poorly, that's actually bad for you in the long run. You never have to step up and be better.

Some other cons are:

- You'll probably have to be very patient and teach the virgin a lot sexually, emotionally, psychologically and coach them through maturing at a rapid rate to catch up to you. It's a lot of work, but insecure guys are willing to do it, even though they aren't that mature themselves if they're that insecure in the first place.
- Not to mention that this^ comes with a lot of responsibility and "emotional liability" and this process is chalked FULL of conflicts of interest for reasons I mentioned before. As a man, can you really navigate that fairly, even when this woman is stretching your patience thin and pissing you off?
- Inexperienced people are generally much more sensitive and volatile. It's not fun.

Laggy · Accepted Answer

Yes on two conditions. If you would date a Non Virgin Guy like me and if you expecting the worst from people doensn't come in the form of accusations.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Omg, oddly it feels so nice to have someone to relate to. Except it seems like you’re more put together than i am. Im like a messier version of you lol. Im also a virgin by choice (but i have a lot of reasons) and have a very hard time trusting people, especially guys i date. i end up pushing them away because i get doubtful about everything very easily.

Anyway, of course there are guys who’s willing to date a virgin. Nice, genuine guys who are real gentlemen and who will respect your values. The last guy I've dated never pressured me into having sex, i felt safe and secured and cared about. We did do other stuff just aside from having an intercourse. Dont worry much about it and never settle if its not what you’re looking for. It seems like you already know that, though. Good luck and i hope the right guy finds his way to you soon xx.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I’m a virgin by choice and all of my friends have told me that they have regretted losing it because of their experiences. There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin it’s a normal thing really. It’s also normal to not be a virgin now a days. Just have to find the right person I guess.

Lliam · Answer

I am not turned off by virgins, per se. We were all virgins once.

But there are a couple of problems. The main one being that no matter how sweet and beautiful she is, or how well we get along, I would NEVER consider marrying someone prior to engaging in a sexual relationship. Marriage is serious shit. I look at it as a lifetime commitment. I would have to be in a relationship for a fairly long period of time (at least a year or two) before being convinced beyond a shadow of doubt that she was the one I wanted to the rest of my life with. And there is no way I would be in a sexless, monogamous relationship for someone for a year or two. No way.

Sex is important.

I want a heterosexual woman who knows her own body and loves sex; craves it; revels in it. I'm turned off by the idea of being afraid of it or thinking that it is something that it can only be shared with one person in a lifetime. Sex is like food. It's admirable to be a picky eater and be scrupulous about what you put in your body. It's admirable not to just stuff any food that is put in front of you into your mouth, because you're not a mindless pig. But you still need to eat. And there is nothing wrong with appreciating and savoring delicious food that is good for you.

In regards to relationships, I think it's important to go out and seize life. If you want a good job, you search for one. You don't necessarily take any job that is available and stick to that for the rest of your life. If you are interested in a particular career, you might take an entry level job with a company that offers a potential for advancement in a field that you can be passionate about. Then you work your way up. Once you gain experience, you might even move to a different company in order to advance further. And what did you gain while you were with the initial company? Knowledge and experience. You increased your value.

It's the same with relationships. You don't take just any partner. You search for a good one. You get to know them as well as possible. If you really like each other and develop a high level of trust, you eventually have to commit yourself to the relationship. Go all in. Give it your best shot. You're partner could turn out to be like a company that's a perfect fit. Or you might eventually find that it's not the place where you can remain for your entire career. It's impossible to know unless you try.

The fact is, whether sexual or not, relationships don't always work out. There is no chance they will work out if you don't give them 100% effort. But even if they don't work out, you will suffer heartache and disappointment, but you haven't really lost anything. You actually gained valuable knowledge and experience. And you had hella fun during the infatuation period.

The other reason I would be hesitant to date a virgin is, they may put too much attachment on sex. If I liked a virgin girl enough to have sex with her, it would be a honor make that her first time as special as possible. She's going to remember that first time for the rest of her life. But I'd be afraid that she would think we were automatically bonded for life. It isn't mere sex that creates a bond for life. Sex, to a great extent, is just sex. It's an activity. Sure it's intimate and involves tenderness, passion and mutual regard. But it's not the definition of love. And even though it is essential, it's not all there is to a relationship. A girl isn't just her pussy. Sex something fun and satisfying that two people who love each other can do together.

In the end, sex is one of the best things we can experience. We shouldn't deny it to ourselves. We should embrace it.

talover · Answer

Yes, I would. And yes, I have. She's now my wife. She stole my stubborn and selfish heart, wringed it out, and gave it back new. She's an awesome wife, an awesome mother and has super powers.

She too is a feminist (classical) but not like most modern feminists of today. She isn't a journalist, her conscience wouldn't allow her to work in a field that would control her narrative, like her views on feminism, to name one example. She isn't P. C. like most media would want a journalists to be.

In fact, right now at work she is standing her ground against upper management because of a politically correct agenda. While other women are falling in line with the narrative, she is holding the line to her beliefs. Again, she's freaking awesome, and I love her.

I think I might have gone on a bit of a tangent on this opinion but I think you get the point that virginity isn't a problem. Instead other personality traits or beliefs may be. A symbiotic relationship requires similar or the same values and beliefs as the partner. If those are there with the man you find, I think you'll be fine. If not, on to the next.

Crazybeeguy · Answer

You are you, if you were impossible to be around because of your personality, then you would need to change. No person is perfect. With that said, if I were to date a virgin, I would have to be absolutely sure I was in love before I would be intimate. I don't go seeking out virgin girls. Most guys that answer your questions know you. I don't think there is a guy here that wouldn't date you. You have many options, too many, that is why you are having a hard time finding someone. I have done the online dating site okcupid, like you I am finding the right women to marry. No, I am not a virgin.
Many messages later, phone numbers later, not all turn out to be a date. I noticed when you are face to face with someone, there more of a connection to be made. Narrowing down your options will help. Earlier I recommended you to write a list of
Characteristics that are most important to you it will help. E. g intelligent conversation, must like dogs not cats. Not what you think is in the moment cute, like oh look at him water those plants. Maybe similar interests that you can talk about for hours. Good luck!
P. S I would date you, the "flaws" that you believe you have aren't really flaws. I know how to handle what's going on with you. I also know how to properly empower women.

Novacane · Answer

I would say most men secretly would want a woman that is a virgin or usually lower body count, therefore most men will always consider you as potential.

I would say expecting the worst is not the best way to approach, don't get me wrong I completely understand that it's from past experience so you are not in the wrong but also understand that if you live your life focusing on a worst-case scenario that is all you are going to get. If you start a business and you instantly start expecting the worst and say "I am going to fail" 9 times out of 10 you will fail. I've had bad experiences with women and I can say when I use to let that experience guide me I was always finding myself in the same situation, it wasn't until I start to treat each experience as a new one I saw a change.

Finding the right one is not easy, if it was then everyone would be in love right now. At least as a woman you have the option of waiting for the one to come to you but let's be honest, its usually the same kind of men that will approach you, if you really want to find the one put yourself out there, and think of the ideal characteristics you would want in a man and ask yourself where exactly will you find someone with those ideals.

ObscuredBeyond · Answer

I would need a lot more information than that. I admire that you seek to make yourself productive. That's always a plus. But... productive to what end?

There's journalism, and then there's "journalists." I think you know what I mean. I used to be in television. Was done dirty by coworkers. And now, the radio at work I'm at today has some of the most despicable propaganda I've heard ever. It's like I woke up in Soviet Russia one day!

I'm a bit of a culture warrior and iconoclast. I have a hard time resisting the urge to kick the Devil in the nuts every chance I get. But that's when the possessed pigs that haven't quite drowned yet start charging at me.

You don't get to stand for something, and not have enemies. And that means battles. And scars. And losses. And baggage. And financial hardships - which always find a way.

Long story short: your virginity or lack of would soon become the least interesting detail about you. I cannot say if we'd be compatible to the end, or at each other's throats.

I respect an industrious individual. But I need to know they aren't misled. A misled industrious is like loading and cannon and not knowing where to aim it. You'll hit something, all right. But probably not with the intended purpose. And with a lot of embarrassing collateral.

I'd need to know that we'd be able to build each other up; and not inadvertently destroy each other. Used right, I'm a journey to Neverland. Used wrong, I'm a Hiroshima bomb.

HighValue · Answer

Depends on how well we matched.

Me: White, 6' tall, Strong, Trustworthy, Loyal, Affectionate, Never done any hook ups, No contact with any ex, no kids but I do want some with the right person, I am very good with kids, Don't do any drugs, alcohol, or smoke, no tattoos, I work (no welfare or food stamps), I know how to cook, I'm educated (not indoctrinated). I enjoy physical stuff like riding bikes, lifting weights, and also indoor stuff like board games, video games, movies, tv series, comedy videos, learning new things, reading a book, bowling, pool, air hockey, amusement parks, and other stuff. I will try new things as long as it isn't gross or immoral. I prefer things to be planned most of the time.

The woman I'd want: 18 to 30 (over 30 equals no interest), hasn't done any hook ups or ONS, doesn't do any drugs (no weed either), doesn't drink alcohol or drinks very rarely and is willing to quit, doesn't smoke, no kids from past relationships, but does want some with the right person, no contact with any ex, once in a relationship won't be posting revealing and flirty pictures online for attention, will be very affectionate with me and she initiates the affection sometimes too, doesn't have an immoral job or one that requires her to spend multiple days away from home (traveling), no tattoos or very few (each tattoo makes her less attractive to me), will exercise every week just like I will to stay healthy and in shape for long term, is not hypocritical. (Yes, I realize I probably won't find anyone that meets this because realistically there probably isn't anyone even nearly as good for a relationship as I am. (prove me wrong by being the good woman I want)

FriendlyDrugDealer · Answer

In short, would I date a virgin? I would prefer not to, I’ll explain why not.

I have dated two women in the past who were virgins when we started dating and I didn’t run into any issues with them but we were young at the time. However, every other girl I met ever since then I learned it’s in my best interest not to date them. I have a past of dating and hooking up but I’m not proud of it nor am I ashamed of it. Even when I try to focus on our chemistry and getting to know someone, they keep bringing it up and talking about my past with interrogation like questions which is a sign of their insecurity which I don’t have the patience to handle.

I would be open to dating anyone based on personality, looks and chemistry not on sexual past but some people can’t look past that so I avoid it altogether. Most women around my age or older aren’t virgins so it’s not a problem for me.

t-8900 · Answer

Yes the last two girls i've conversed with were both virgins. I prefer a traditional family structure in terms having 2 loving parents for those kids, completely and strictly monogamous, the conversations need to be open in the marriage of how we can make/keep the other person happy. We can't keep secrets from each other even if they are embarrassing and apart of our sexual desires. Girly is good, that's how I prefer my women tbh. Although I do like it when she can sometimes be dominant in certain aspects of our private life. As far as being a journalist if that's something you wanted and you could still be home with your family at the end of each day it wouldn't be a problem. That said I am currently in a relationship and as I said I am monogamous. I always have been and always will be. I'm a hardliner on that sort of thing.

DiegoO · Answer

What do you call been a virgin?

Apparently, after having oral sex (SEX), many so called virgins, still think they are "virgins".

I personally won't. My only and first serious relationship was online. She said she was a "virgin", back then. At first I didn't care, but I started notice her deep insecurities and I couldn't give her affection, beyond a screen. That experience marked me, because she was a virgin, but she didn't even wanted to experience online sex with me. Eventually things ended, and I learned, I wanted a experienced partner. Why? I just don't have the energy to try to comprehend and go along with a virgin.

ohshee · Answer

I would in a heartbeat I think that you have been spent around the circle so many times that you have a shield of armor up but I honestly believe that you would be one of the best friends one of the best lovers one of the best girlfriends ever I would date you but only if I could break up with you 15 minutes into the relationship and then come back that way I would get that done and over with LOL

zeitgeist057 · Answer

Yes, I would date a girl of that description. I'm not a virgin myself, but I would be down with dating and seeing if we had a good connection/chemistry. If it was a really good relationship we found ourselves building, then I would be okay with waiting until she wanted to have sex, as sex is important to me, but not the most important thing.

I'm kind of like you expecting the worst (same, from trauma), but also I can be a very optimistic and happy person.

There was another question here on G@G "would you rather a have a traditional or feminist partner/wife?" and I didn't answer it, but I was thinking there are some traditional traits I like (being girly and vulnerable), but also some feminist traits (like being straightforward and bold) and you sound like a good mix.

Waldoe · Answer

I think it shows that you are Strong and Not afraid to be yourself, that is VERY attractive to "Real Men"...
Excuse my language... but "Pussy Hounds" are not looking for a partner for more than a few nights at a time. That's not the "Pool" you want to cast your fishing line into...
Stay true to your beliefs, he is out there, you will find him or he will find you... Broaden your social circle if you need to, Find New Pools to fish... (Church, School, Work) are the usual places, but you can expand on that, depending on your personal interests... Good Luck, He is out there

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Virgins are ideal for serious relationships. Absolutely when dating I always gave virgins and generally more innocent girls high priority. I don't care how hot the stripper is that I've been seeing is or how great the sex, the second I find a virgin to date, she's ghosted gone. Female virginity is the most valuable thing a girl has to offer.

SenseiSeptred · Answer

Would you date a guy like me if the reason why he lost his virginity was because it was stolen from him when he was drunk attempting to just go to sleep in his own bed, but other people visiting did not have the best of intentions towards me all because his father paid her in painkillers to do the deed to me against my will?

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Before i date you princess alyssa rapunzel, i need to climb this tower so i reach you...
You must throw your long hair so i use it like i rope to be able to climb the tower and reach you 🤣🤣

Who would refuse dating the magical alyssa rapunzel 😊

Your virginity is very precious and only your future husband will have it 😌

Mango-man · Answer

Yes I would.
Plus I share your point of view: sex should be the cherry on top of the relationship cake, instead of being the small snack you grab at McDonald's and throw away later to try the newest offer at Burger King.

K-I-S-S · Answer

So, what you are saying is that you are an attractive young feminine woman with a nice personality and also a virgin because you want a meaningful relationship.

Dude, you are pretty much perfect for most men.

My girlfriend was a virgin too when we started dating, about 10 years ago now. Nothing bit good times so far.

The guy does need to be more dominant or more of a leader though, in the relationship.

MCheetah · Answer

I would date a virgin girl (especially at 23; that's not even old), but I definitely wouldn't date a feminist.

m33lad · Answer

Our society is damaged! Sadly.. nice guys get shit.

The girl being a Virgin and go into
Marriage and having sex after marriage is the best way.
Unfortunately in 21st century we have too many things that threatens the existence of marriage.

And Feminism and sexist family courts and making what girls are better like cooking. Cleaning and etc so sexiest that men and women are war with each other:

Which is what the deep state wants.
To have all control.

CookiesAndCream2 · Answer

You sound like a pain in the arse & likely for a lot of guys more nuisance than worth.

You have an attitude, you sob like a baby over spilled milk, you're loud, obnoxious & more than likely rude.

Are you suuuree you're a virgin by choice & you just don't turn people off.

Massageman · Answer

I would - and I did!

Remember that Prov 31:10+ honors women like YOU!

Just try to expect some of the best from the guys that you meet, and you will probably start finding nicer guys. Maybe volunteer at a local food pantry, Habitat for Humanity project, local Operation Christmas Child collection, etc. and find guys who are a bit more caring than the average.

DaveToo · Answer

If I could drop a coin in a fountain and make a wish, I would wish that I was 50 years younger and lived in the UK near you.

Anonymous · Answer

Honestly yes nothing you have said is bad at all.. if I'm honest I have very similar view and thoughts to you. I'm not an attractive guy tho. I'm meh on intelligence as well

But I'm sensetive and do sometimes cry I know that's probably a bad thing. I have mental health issues and part of the means I could only be intimate with someone with a very close connection/ love.

NightOwl8801 · Answer

Yes I would if I were single , you sound like sweet down to earth young woman. Personable, easy going once people get to know you... you are a virgin by choice, I would respect that until you were ready and only then. I also have respect for reporters on the local news circuit

Grond21 · Answer

I'm also a virgin by choice. I'm waiting for marriage. And while there are a lot of guys out there who are not interested in that, there are a number of us who are. And we are growing.

You sound like a good down-to-earth girl, so hypothetically I would date you

Miristheiss · Answer

I married a virgin... so I definitely was ok dating virgins.

Trauma? I guess it depends on what the trauma actually was and what types of issues are left over from that as to whether dating would have a chance of working out or not.

jim009 · Answer

Maybe, first I would need to figure out if your baggage is managable. If you are working through it and it happens to impact a relationship that's one thing, if you are in a relationship instead of dealing with it that's another. Would I need to be your therapist, or would I just need to be concious that you went through some things in your past? Big differences there.

Better_off_here · Answer

i first must applaud you for your choice, and i must say that some guys may look at you as high maintenance but i find what you are about an attractive quality. you seem independent and you know what you want and most guys would find that a good thing.

Jouth · Answer

Hell yes. I only have sex when I'm in love. Most non virgins I know are out there fucking like rabbits and that's just not the way I live my life.

If you treated me well and we had good chemistry and the age gap wasn't an issue for either of us, then yes, I'd date the hell out of you, you sound like a cool chick.

exitseven · Answer

I am old enough to be your father but you sound like a really good catch. Don't get discouraged.

Dargil · Answer

Would You Date a Virgin Girl Like Me?
*Yes, I would. I see "no exceptions." My hope is that if I treat you well, you will treat me well.
It is more important to me that (!) you are are honest journalist than have asexual nature. You have some of the future in your hands and presently, the future is grim.

Andres77 · Answer

After all the stuff I did when I was younger I don't think I would have wanted to date a virgin... I'd feel like I would have corrupted her.

Nik1hil · Answer

See..
If sex is off the table..

Than I need to know this before the first date.. So I don't make a move..
Also I will jerk off and come on date..

And I will be more focused on have a fun time instead of seducing and trying to get in your pants

DarkWinterNights · Answer

I would prefer to date a virgin, though it isn’t a requirement since I myself am not.

Medhat-M · Answer

It's the norm for middle easterns to save yourself for marriage so I'm with you on that lol... But what would bother me is that you seem to have an identity crisis.. Aspiring to be a strong independent woman and at the same time defending and supporting a discriminating religion to women like Islam... Looks like you're having a fake sense of yourself and still confused.. so.. That doesn't look very encouraging..

meetkitty123 · Answer

Nothing wrong with a virgin virgins are very dateable

Sarahr123 · Answer

Most South Asians prefer virgins. In fact many will only marry a girl if she’s a virgin. It tends to be White men who don’t appreciate virginity.

TheUniqueOne96 · Answer

I'm a virgin myself, so yeah, I guess so, like when I think of relationships, I only do long term, no point wasting time.

JustinTimberlegs · Answer

T R A U M A 😭 Me too 🥲 I don't know why some would refuse to date a virgin, unless they were really impatient I guess.

EQisKEY · Answer

No, because healthy sex is the Hallmark of a healthy relationship.

Ceslovas · Answer

I love the way you expressed yourself here, so beautifully, felt that...:)

Inthecraphole · Answer

I desire that and admire that about you.  The question is tho, have you ever had your first love?

luckyMane · Answer

A journalist who is virgin *pretends to be shocked*

SmokinAces2000 · Answer

Depends on how long the girl wants to stay a virgin

Ryfyle · Answer

@alyssa11 I would probably never run into you in real life, but find your story incredulous.

Clarke498 · Answer

Any guy would be lucky. That description sounds amazing ☺️

DJB72 · Answer

Definitely. I have far more respect for someone who has waited than the whole "I'll sleep with anyone" bit

Juan_Curious · Answer

Off course I would, however I would also feel like charging with a big responsibility.

Iron_Man · Answer

Yes of course you’re pure and you’re innocent and I can work with girls like you. I’m very likable and I know how to get along with people like you. Just don’t do anything crazy with the same sex ever and then you’re considered special

Caliguy88 · Answer

At my age I would not think it’s ideal. Only because I hate to hurt people and there can be some strong feelings with that.

jasco · Answer

I am a virgin my self so it would be fun to try and figure out things together. However I honestly don’t really mind either or

TheAfrikan · Answer

1,000,000% I would be open to date a virgin girl, so that I can have all the rights n All the copy rights to make her dirty. I find your profile pic Hillarious for sure.☺

crazysassypaws21 · Answer

yes ain't at the end of the day shouldn't love and treat another kind be what matter im a v guy

NYlatefun · Answer

Absolutely, I’d have no problem with that, as long as she’s open and does like sex of course!

David_Kek · Answer

I am, in LDR because of covid. When we get to finally meet in 2 or 3 months, then she won't be.

FinalFantasyBro · Answer

Considering I am a manly man who is also a virgin that works perfectly for me.

YAhallo · Answer

I have more respect for virgins if someone wants honest relationship then virgin are better

Shiningtempest · Answer

@alyssa11 I would prefer to date a virgin woman over dating a woman who has multiple sexual partners.

jshm2 · Answer

To be honest you seem too much drama and a bit crazy.

Dchrls78104 · Answer

Maybe I can relate and Maybe I'd date. I'm big on compatibility, though.

Would You Date a Virgin Girl Like Me?

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