What's wrong with me that men never make a move?

[Anonymous]

27-year old woman, single for four years, living in a major U. S. city. I recently found out from a mutual friend that apparently five different guys within our friend group have had crushes on me in the past couple of years or so since I moved here. But literally none (ZERO) of them thought to express any kind of interest, make any kind of move, etc. They're now all with other partners. This is incredibly frustrating, and the only conclusion I can come to is that I just didn't inspire enough attraction in them to have them actually make a move. Literally, in the past 4 years, I've only had one guy (at my old workplace) come up to me and actively flirt and try to get to know me.

In terms of looks, I generally fit the "attractive" mould, though probably in a more generic sense. 5'8, 130lbs, natural blonde, green eyes, long legs. Is this part of the problem? Am I too generic looking to inspire intense attraction in men? I have hobbies and a good job that I enjoy, so I don't think it's some major personality flaw...

[Hairylegs222]

It's not easy for some people to make moves on people. It is very difficult for me for example. Trying to lead a conversation towards asking her out can be difficult to not make it awkward, especially when there's other people around hearing it. Also not knowing anything about the woman beforehand is like gambling. An attractive woman I already assume she's taken.

However you mentioned some guys in your friends group liked you which is different. That makes it easier to ask questions about you and making moves through friends too. Instead of talking to a stranger the guy knows nothing about. Maybe those guys did ask about you and didn't like what they heard. Or maybe they were more interested in someone else. Hard to say without asking those guys.

[Quigly]

You're doing it wrong, Many girls will walk away if a guy approaches and asks them out. There is a good reason. The bottom line is that women are at a physical disadvantage. Many girls know that they are pretty and any guy that would approach her is very likely an arrogant guy that thinks he is a gift to women. Narcissistic personality disorder, A guy that always has to be center of attention. These are also the same guys that never take "NO" for an answer and she doesn't want to end up raped in a back alley somewhere.

Get the old way of thinking out of your head.

City girls know the right guy is unlikely to approach them, He doesn't think he is a gift to all women. It's a good thing. So It's up to the girl to pick the guy that she wants to be with. Not the other way around. It makes sense to do it this way. It's safer for girls.
Just be a friend first to get to know him a little and then go from there

[bamesjond0069]

Girls can be clueless. Sometimes men feel the waters ie "im so active and love to go hiking every weekend" and instead of saying "oh not my cup of tea" sometimes y'all say something like "id never bother to date a man that hikes, kill me now" and maybe it was funny exaggeration but that will make that man way less likely to continue with you.

Its pretty common for women to say limiting things i think many times in a joking way but men view it as you hinting them away. Ie "wow that mans so tall and his girlfriend is so short she probably gets whackes in the face, no thanks" say that in a group and all the tall guys will hit on someone else when you really might not even care or actually like tall men.

[MCheetah]

You're picky, entitled, and unwilling to put in any work... Just like 99% of women who complain about this same thing.

Also, you probably look too high maintenance ("pretty") for any men to think you'd give them the time of day. And you really have o ask yourself: Are they correct in that assumption?

[globetrotter22]

It’s possible that the guys who go on dates are respectful and “play it safe” types. Metoo did a fantastic job at scaring the hell out of decent men in the last few years (scumbags will never care). A badly timed moved used to mean embarrassment and even public humiliation. Nowadays it could result in even worse. Or either that you are not giving off strong enough signals you are interested.

Either way you need to put some more work into letting the guy you know your interested.

[Staximus]

If all these guys supposedly had crushes on you but none of them made the first move, then it sounds like you weren't interested enough in any of them to inspire them to make that first move. Or you didn't act like you were interested in being more than friends.

[Freespirit777]

You may have an unapproachable vibe going on. At work, if a man approaches a woman, and she goes to personnel, they will fire him. We men have seen our friends fired for that and are scared.
I would imagine that your looks and build are great! Maybe try meeting men in your areas of outside interest. Start up conversation with men you are interested in, be light and fun. I am sure that there is a man out there that goes to bed every night dreaming to meet you someday.

[DryGermanGuy]

United States, you say? That's the country, where men don't dare to step into an elevator with a woman, right? There you go, then.

[Texaskid1]

Sad but true

[AviatorTom]

Maybe it's time to be more aggressive with men. If you see someone you like, flirt with them and depending on their reaction, ask them out.

[2021biguy]

Guys are stick of trying to read minds and get rejected, they wait for the girl to make the first move now.

[fred_durst]

It is not you , it is them
It is 2021 , compared to 50 years ago , the amount of men who have balls to approach women is greatly reduced.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you make no move either, so I don't think there's anything to say. Make a move or keep doing nothing.

[Lushly]

Some men are shy or don't know what to say if we approach you

[bestfriend69]

Maybe they didn't want to cause a scene because you had same friends group.

[In_Trance]

you don't believe you're good enough from them to make a move on

[jjj101010]

Hard to say without seeing u. Happy to chat and give u an honest guys perspective if u like? Message me if u want to

[Anonymous]

When we try to make a move on you. someone else makes a move on you then you say YES! To them and no to the other

[Texaskid1]

Thank you # metoo movement.

[msc545]

Ask several of them